Suffering from burnout and exhaustion, I'm really in a foul mood, and have been going at it with my boss all week. He and I get along really well BECAUSE we engage in a healthy debate, but I just don't have it in me right now.b, 21b, 21I'm listening to Built to Spill and Sonic Youth "Diamond Sea," on Youtube to make it all better...
- A little while back I was dawdling outside a Kinko's for some reason or another, and I overheard a couple of salesladies from the nearby Montauk Sofa store on an executive-length smoke break commiserating about some guy who had apparently been coming in the store every couple of months acting like he was really interested in buying a couch, and spending a long time walking around the showroom by himself, sitting on all the couches with great focus as if evaluating them for comfort and bounce. It turns out, though, that dude had in fact been very deliberately burying depth-charge farts in every single couch ("I mean, real rippers, Denise") every single time he comes in. "I thought he was just some harmless weirdo, but once I put two and two together, I had Greg chase him out and just Febreze everything. Oh my god, it was disgusting. I told them, I said, 'we're gonna have to get the steamer in here, a-sap.'"b, 21b, 21b/wb, 21b, 21img src="http://www.cinemaretro.com/uploads/sweeney320x240.jpg"1b, 21b, 21- Lately I've been noticing a lot of upper-thirtysomething black dudes in Chicago rocking with impunity boxcuts, Negro-League letterman jackets, and slacks, often with some kind of noncommittal moustache. What the fuck is this about? Where are these dudes coming from all the sudden? Is it some kind of throwback look that's hot right now, or has Chicago seen a recent influx of immigrants from some faraway land where A Different World never went off the air? I am completely baffled.
b, 21- A little while back I was dawdling outside a Kinko's for some reason or another, and I overheard a couple of salesladies from the nearby Montauk Sofa store on an executive-length smoke break commiserating about some guy who had apparently been coming in the store every couple of months acting like he was really interested in buying a couch, and spending a long time walking around the showroom by himself, sitting on all the couches with great focus as if evaluating them for comfort and bounce. It turns out, though, that dude had in fact been very deliberately burying depth-charge farts in every single couch ("I mean, real
rippers, Denise") every single time he comes in. "I thought he was just some harmless weirdo, but once I put two and two together, I had Greg chase him out and just Febreze everything. Oh my god, it was disgusting. I told them, I said, 'we're gonna have to get the steamer in here, a-sap.'"b, 21b, 21b/wb, 21b, 21img src="http://www.cinemaretro.com/uploads/sweeney320x240.jpg"1b, 21b, 21 b, 21b, 21h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21b, 21I was at a wake recently with some cronies from work, and we were all huddled in a far corner of the place where we believed we were out of harms way. Loose conversation was taking place, as this was not a particularly tragic wake rather one where joking about the dead guy and smiling and having a good time was not looked down upon or a particularly big deal. In the middle of someone telling some nonsense story I let a little slippy run free, thinking with all honesty that it would get trapped in my many layers of uniform and not smell at all. A few moments later my friend Gambino (who not coincidentally has one of the biggest noses I've ever laid eyes on) stopped someone in mid-sentence with this gem "yeah that's great, but who the fvck farted?". Anxious moments followed as I hoped that maybe someone else might have contributed to the gaseous salad we were all being treated to and maybe he could have taken all the blame, but no. Just me. So I raised my hand. "ARE YOU FVCKING KIDDING ME? IN A WAKE?". "Bro, I didn't think it would smell I've been drinking mad green tea". "DUDE HOLY SHIT, THAT FVCKING STINKS WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM". Me, now laughing and turning beet red "I'm sorry man, I really didn't...oh fvck" at this point for some reason that I'll never figure out pretty much EVERYONE that was at the wake decided to come walk over to our area to see some photos that were right next to us. We instantly left, giggling like schoolchildren. There were a few old folks mixed in so I'm figuring one of them probably got the blame, but these poor saps walked right into something fierce. b, 21b, 21A few weeks later we had our company christmas party, someone dropped one right near the bar and guess who automatically got the blame.b, 21b, 21My poor girl has learned my dun language at this point too. She's figured out that when we're out somewhere and I suddenly turn into Gen. Patton and order her "Go stand over there" that it's my special time to shine.b, 21b, 21Now that I think about it, I really have bad luck when I try to let them go in a safe area. It always seems that I'm playing against the zone defense of life and someone comes running over if they see me trying to be alone for a spell.
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21b, 21Peep the fridge one and parts 1 & 2 of him at the Four Seasons.b, 21b, 21oh lazy sunday with a ice cream sandwich is real good as well
b, 21I was at a wake recently with some cronies from work...
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font class="post"1b, 21b, 21b, 21Another Sween classique!b, 21b, 21b, 21Not to hijack, but this sorta happened to me recently. I was at the hospital with my wife (regular blood work, nothing major) and I was in this pretty swank waiting area. It was all open with big windows and nice furniture for a hospital. I was sitting in a chair while wifey was with the doctor and had to let one go. I look at the chair across from me and noticed that the cushion part was pretty thick and that there was upholstery going all down the side. I figured all this would muffle it pretty good and I could keep it stealth. b, 21b, 21So I press eject and a trebly, quite loud rrrrrip comes out. wtf? I look at my chair to discover that it was a different model than the one across from me. The distance between my butt and the bottom of the cushion was only like four inches. I might as well have been standing up. The place was pretty empty, but there was one dude in the vicinity who had to have heard it. I was the prime suspect, yet neither of us did or said anything. I appreciated his discretion, real or imagined. My SBD game is usually better than that.
b, 21I look at my chair to discover that it was a different model than the one across from me. The distance between my butt and the bottom of the cushion was only like four inches. I might as well have been standing up. The place was pretty empty, but there was one dude in the vicinity who had to have heard it. I was the prime suspect, yet neither of us did or said anything. I appreciated his discretion, real or imagined. My SBD game is usually better than that.
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font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Oh god...that killed me.b, 21I was actually farting throughout the poast, which at first I thought, WOW...this is cosmically connected, only to snap back to the fact that I fart all the time- something I generally have no problem with, but others around me seem to be all uptight about (I EAT KOREAN FOOD).b, 21b, 21Some super challenging times for me are when people let a crazy one rip in yoga class when we're all in some super bent over ass up position in some quasi 'zen' mode, and no one laughs! It kills me a little every time, not being able to laugh. b, 21b, 21Why are farts funny.
b, 21Now that I think about it, I really have bad luck when I try to let them go in a safe area. It always seems that I'm playing against the zone defense of life and someone comes running over if they see me trying to be alone for a spell.
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font class="post"1b, 21b, 21The deadliest gas I've ever encountered was at various Catholic Churches on the Island at Christmas Eve Mass........pretty sure that's why they call them "pews".
b, 21Don't play with my heart, it makes me furious
b, 21But if want me to love you
b, 21Then, baby, I will, girl, you know I will
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b, 21Tell it like it is
b, 21Don't be ashamed to let your conscience be your guide
b, 21But I-I-I-I-I know deep down inside of me
b, 21I believe you love me, forget your foolish pride
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b, 21Life is too short to have sorrow
b, 21You may be here today and gone tomorrow
b, 21You might as well get what you want
b, 21So go on and live, baby, go on and live
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b, 21Tell it like it is
b, 21I'm nothin' to play with, go and find yourself a toy
b, 21But I-I-I-I-I
b, 21Tell it like it is
b, 21My time is too expensive
b, 21And I'm not your little boy
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font class="post"1b, 21b, 21For the longest time I just thought of this as just another sweet soul ballad. Then one week, this girl I had just met was taking her sweet time to return my call...all of a sudden the lyrics to the above really started to kick in. We think it's this innocuous love song, but in reality the dude is telling her to shit or get off the pot! Right on, Aaron.b, 21b, 21Sure enough, it happened with some lady I met recently. After a couple of days of her not returning my message, I texted her back, basically saying what Aaron sang, with a few arrogant embellishments. In other words, I told it like it was.b, 21b, 21She wasn't going for it ("as a matter of fact, I AM busy...thanks for the compliments but I'm not interested, sorry"). I do not really regret "standing up" like I did, saying what I said; I just had a thing or two I wanted to get off my chest. And if she really was a for-real person, she wouldn't have let that much time go by without an answer. Now, I can accept a yes or a no, but the waiting game does get old. Was she worth it? No. On to the next one...
I miss being able to go to a movie theater and coming in the middle of the flick, and then leaving right where I came in. I have no problem doing this; I can still keep track of the plot twists. These cineplexes don't let you do this now, for whatever reason...
Been watching Season Four of Saturday Night Live, which has just come out on DVD. You can tell that the prime years were coming to an end. This was Belushi and Ackroyd's last season, the tone of the show is a lot more cocky than before, the audience is starting to hoot and holler at every drug joke, and in one skit Jane Curtin semi-jokingly refers to John Belushi as a comedic actor "of the rock & roll generation." But even though Frank Zappa and Milton Berle were pains in the asses to deal with, their eps aren't as bad as I thought they'd be. These episodes have their faults, don't get me wrong -Zappa had this hipper-than-thou messiah complex, and Berle's vaudeville schtick is what SNL was trying to get away from, but they work out okay in spite of themselves.
b, 21just got back from disney for the first time ever...I saw Dikembe Mutombo at the airpoet...newflash...dude is tall...I like the way he talks...
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font class="post"1b, 21b, 21b, 21speaking of the dood, i say "MUTOMBO!" a la dave chappelle's "KOBE!" phrase for when something gets rejected. people in the office tossing a little ball? walk to the shredder and interrupt their game with a "MUTOMBO!" by swatting the ball and ruining their flow. same thing with pickup games. b, 21b, 21gtown stand up!
Just had it out with a manager at work who came at me sideways where she had no call to. Feel way better for it. Breathe in breath out. Have to really learn to take this politics-at-work BS as entertainment and not take it so seriously that it becomes a soul-eroding.
b, 21Just had it out with a manager at work who came at me sideways where she had no call to. Feel way better for it. Breathe in breath out. Have to really learn to take this politics-at-work BS as entertainment and not take it so seriously that it becomes a soul-eroding.
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font class="post"1b, 21b, 21b, 21You have to wonder sometimes with folks like that. If this is how they act at work, what the F*ck are they like at home?
b, 21Just had it out with a manager at work who came at me sideways where she had no call to. Feel way better for it. Breathe in breath out. Have to really learn to take this politics-at-work BS as entertainment and not take it so seriously that it becomes a soul-eroding.
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b, 21You have to wonder sometimes with folks like that. If this is how they act at work, what the F*ck are they like at home?
Seriously! I said almost the same thing...more about how do they treat their kids? b, 21b, 21There is a woman here who has flipped out on almost every co-worker (my turn was last week) for really minor misunderstandings that could easily be cleared up with one civil sentence. Funnily enough, moments before she lost it with me, I was telling a co-worker about seeing her on the subway the night before yell at someone for having their legs in the way of her getting to a seat. An "excuse me" would have been totally sufficient and appropriate. Her spouse chooses to stay, but her poor son has no choice. I feel for the kid at home and in public!!
Had some beef with a plumber. The guy was mad at me & called me a dirty little Jew & then threatened to "get me". That was a bit heated. Met the new boss today. Nice guy. He's a leafs fan, though. Was at a meeting today & one of my colleauges was schitt talking someone who wasn't there. Very lame. Work f*cking sucks sometimes.
Has there ever been a GOOD Christmas episode of any show?b, 21b, 21Tonight's 30 Rock and The Office had some laughs, but were too depressing to look at more than once.
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