Norman Wisdom. RIP and all that, but that cinematic
trail of petals is, imho... a trail of :dodododo:
I DO NOT LIKE HIS FILMS BUT MAY HE REST IN PEACE.
It seems the Norman finger-crucifixers are in a tiny minority doe???
IT WOULD APPEAR MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT AVERSE TO HIS HUMOUR. THEY DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WARD HIM OFF BY MAKING CRUCIFIX SIGNS WITH THEIR FINGERS AS YOU WOULD IF FACED WITH A TRAINEE VAMPIRE.
The riders must be the ones buying all the Lee Evans, Charlie Drake and Jerry f*cking Lewis DVDs.
THE FOLKS WHO LIKE HIM MUST ALSO BE KEEPING THE FLAMES OF THESE CLOWNS FANNED TOO.
I would also line Jim Carrey up against that wall come the revolution, but even someone higher-browed than a mutant hybrid of Brian Sewell and Ant out of ???Ant and Dec??? couldn???t fail to laugh at ???Dumb and Dumber?????? Or am I wrong?
MANY WOULD CLASS JIM CARREY IN THIS BRACKET BUT I BELIEVE HIS WORK IN THE ABOVE TRANSCENDS MERE CLOWNING.
Charlie Chaplin, doe??? wtf. Hanging was too good for that potatoe-pirouhetting motherf*cker
I FIND HIS WORK NONPLUSSES ME AND HIS FILMS WERE MAD BORING, THUN. EVEN THE DANCING POTATOE PIECE.
Typical English man, thinks he can be understood better if just shouts.. ;)
I don't dig the Carrey, although he has his moments.
Charlie Chaplin does not belong on this list. His movies may be lost to many in the modern era, but dude was a genius. They have great depth, beyond the tomfoolery and potato dancing, some are very political. A stance that would eventually see him kicked out of America.
In 1940 he made his first first talking picture 'The Great Dictator' (a complex movie ridiculing Nazism - I await Carrey making something on a similar level) at the end he drops out of character to address the audience, to say, ""I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible ??? Jew, Gentile ??? black man ??? white. "We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness ??? not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone."
I ride for a little bit of Charlie and admire the man's talent, what he brought to the genre and his legacy but I find the amount of saccharine to be overwhelming after more than a few minutes. Give me a guy risking his life for the sake of a perfect joke any day of the week.
Also, Carrey is a douche but it is a foolish man indeed who ignores Dumb and Dumber. Also, Cable Guy. Mugging apart that film is highly underrated.
Edit: Also Jimster can you please post a local and queen's english version of all your future posts. Cheered me up no end.
I'm off now for a week and expect to come back to find a solitary Brit in this thread replying to themselves. The end of our little isle is nigh :(
I remember seeing an exhibition in some museum in Perth, Australia a few years ago with a bunch of stills along with screenings of a few of his films. I came away with the sense that, as well as being a good comic, he was a technical master; some of the shots and effects would shame some modern directors.
Haven???t blogged on here in a while (word to boy Chizzle) so here goes:
HEARRRRR ME NOWWWW
Norman Wisdom
Siding with Moke on this.
Jimster's anti-Norman vitriol is wholly uncharacteristic and leads an inquiring mind to ask, is there something dark in the Moisturised One's history that could account for it? Hmm? Hmmmm???
Speak on it. SPEAK.
Leo
Lad???s work email says out of office til 27th Sep. No response to my mail of 25th.
I fear something iffy has happened.
Milimajor and Miliminor.
Here???s the thing; I can???t recognise dudes that are brothers, opposing each other in an election, as anything other than the most sickening freak show level wrongness. Whichever side of the sibling age fence you were on, one of you would give way. It would usually be incumbent on the younger bro to cede, this being the natural order of things. On the other hand, it would be the noblest and most brotherly of deeds to give your kid bro a helping hand on the struggle through life by standing yourself down.
That neither of them could do such a thing speaks of deep, deep ishoos in their lives, and unresolved Oedipal conflict. All of this notwithstanding, neither has done a proper day???s work in their lives. Yet BogBrushHair n??? Hilary-wettingMili seems to have parlayed his MP salary in relatively short years into a very nice Georgian fronted drum in the posh area, and so I suspect that the Marxist scholar daddy in the background may have had a smidgeon of idealogical, um, elasticity going on, vis a vis stock-piling a mountain of cash. In any case, neither Mili comes out of this with any credit.
Please no-one to attempt to gainsay this crap, if it doesn't chime with my PMG narrative it will be ignored.
Next up: Ed Balls vs Yvette Cooper.
SMFH at this in-bred bullshit.
Tory second term guaranteed.
The Smiths
Did I see the brah Beatnick dishing the Smiths?
See, now ordinarily I???d rather gouge my own eyes out than spare time to dudes who run dey mouf with such music-R equivalents of holocaust denial. Nick surely knows that the Smiths emergence in 83 or thereabouts was in direct contravention to the sophistipop preening and poodle-hair softcock metal that was prevalent during the rise of yuppiedom.
The Police, Bonnie Tyler, Eurythmics, Culture Club, Duran Duran, Def Leppard, Billy Idol; that was your pop fodder back then, the ubiquitous soundtrack as you sat in your double breasted suit and paisley tie on a red plush leatherette stool against a shiny chromed balustrade in some poncey night club with a faux-European name. And chatted up some puffball skirt rocking, Brandy and Cr??me de Menthe cocktail guzzling George Benson bird while getting caned on Stella . Well, at least that was my mid 80s experience.
On the indie scene: Meriman faves D??p??che Mode (hey, at least you can dance to it !!1!!1! copyright DB Cooper), the truly over-rated Aztec Camera, the tail end of Crass ??? best b4 1984 indeed, but only just ??? was signalling the confirmation of the death of the last vestiges of punk.
In 2010 I don???t own more than a small handful of Smiths records, but best believe that the gladioli in Morrissey???s back pocket was one of the most welcome symbolic harbingers of a new musical springtime that we have seen from that year to this. It seems to me that Morrissey and Marr between them wrested rock music from the hands of the infidel and freed it for who-ever was to come after. Too bad for us that those who came after drove rock into the Britpop cul-de-sac from whence it has never really emerged. Talmbout Blur, Oasis, Libertines et al.
Having met the Beatboy over a pie n??? pint on more than one occasion, I can confirm he is a warm and witty individual, who may have been scamming the board on the heavily ironic comedy terrorism tip. Either that, or he was not of an age in the mid 80s to fully appreciate the desert that existed, and the oasis that the Smiths represented. Nevarr, in the field of jangly post-punk, have so many owed so much to so few.
Tiger Woods
Why does bloke even still play golf?
All that money and a faceful of misery. What???s the point? What a miserable cunt.
Worst ???sportsman??? ever. Awful wretch.
Inbetweeners
One of the very few shows I have bothered to watch these last months. I???m half digging it.
So a few weeks back my woman is laughing like a drain at dude mincing up and down a catwalk in a pair of speedos with half a bollock hanging out.
So when I try it dans la boite de bed, half inch and a wrinkle peeping out of a pair of no-longer prison white snuggie boxers, it???s all tumbleweed and chirpsing crickets up in that bith. Wisdom would have nailed it, probably. It???s all about the timing, see?
[i]Goldie[/i]
On Strictly Come Dancing? Really??
WTF. I???ll wager some of you dudes were up on this dude BITD on some edgy urban DubRap or BrapDub or JungleTripHop genre invention fanboy steeze. So, how???s his foxtrot versus Widdecomb???s Cha Cha Cha? His samba versus NotALot Daniels??? latin hustle?
Honestly, this :someshamefulshit:
Anyways dudes, what???s been happening?
DocMcCoy"Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,913 Posts
Crisis-hit Liverpool are to be sold to the owners of the Boston Red Sox baseball team.
But the takeover by the New England Sports Ventures (NESV) is subject to the resolution of a legal dispute with US owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett.
The Premier League will also have to approve the latest American buyout.
Earlier Hicks and Gillett tried to sack managing director Christian Purslow and commercial director Ian Ayre in a last-ditch bid to keep control of the club.
In an attempt to block any sale and regain control of the club, Liverpool's much criticised owners tried to replace Purslow and Ayre with Hicks's son, Mack Hicks, and Lori Kay McCutcheon, a vice president at Hicks Holdings.
Hicks and Gillett are understood to have argued that the club's English directors were not acting in the best interests of Liverpool and that the NESV bid - as well another undisclosed offer from Asia - "dramatically undervalued the club".
Purslow, Ayre and chairman Martin Broughton are now consulting lawyers over whether they can resist the owners' attempts to replace them and force through a sale.
"I am delighted that we have been able to successfully conclude the sale process which has been thorough and extensive," said Broughton.
"The Board decided to accept NESV's proposal on the basis that it best met the criteria we set out originally for a suitable new owner. NESV's philosophy is all about winning and they have fully demonstrated that at Red Sox.
"We've met them in Boston, London and Liverpool over several weeks and I am immensely impressed with what they have achieved and with their vision for Liverpool Football Club.
"By removing the burden of acquisition debt, this offer allows us to focus on investment in the team.
I am only disappointed that the owners have tried everything to prevent the deal from happening and that we need to go through legal proceedings in order to complete the sale
NESV currently owns a portfolio of companies including the Boston Red Sox, New England Sports Network, Fenway Sports Group and Rousch Fenway Racing.
They are partly owned by futures and foreign exchange trading advisor John W. Henry who has an estimated fortune of ??540m.
NESV are thought to be offering about ??300m for the club, enough to pay back the ??240m of loans and ??40m of fees owed to Royal Bank of Scotland, which must be settled at the end of next week.
However, this valuation falls well short of the ??600m that Hicks and Gillett are thought to want for the club, hence their opposition.
Liverpool were put up for sale by Hicks and Gillett in April with debts of ??351.4m.
They initially sought an asking price of about ??800m, a figure they subsequently dropped to ??600m.
In August, there were abortive bids from Hong Kong businessman Kenny Huang while a consortium fronted by Syrian businessman Yahya Kirdi also expressed an interest.
The owners paid ??174.1m to buy the club in 2007, while also agreeing to take on the club's debt of ??44.8m.
Many fans have become increasingly outraged at the pair's ownership of the club, which is said to be currently ??237.4m in debt, and their failure to carry through promises to build a new stadium.
The Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) has set a deadline of 15 October for that debt to be repaid or a penalty fee of ??60m will be due.
The bank has the option of extending the deadline once again, or calling it in, taking control and then selling the club to the highest bidder.
Liverpool's troubles off the pitch have coincided with the Anfield club making their worst start to a league campaign since 1953-54, when they were relegated. The Reds are currently wallowing in 18th place in the Premier League.
I find his gurning simian stumblings too low-brow. And worse, plain unfunny. I'd rather spend my time reading demands from the tax man. Also, I would wager his skincare regime was mad weak.
Thun.
Leo
Lad???s work email says out of office til 27th Sep. No response to my mail of 25th.
I fear something iffy has happened.
Me too. Value of his collection decimated after actual attempt at legendary Stark/dip interface after too many Japanese beers, now in mourning/gingerly applying pva to record surface and googling anti-cheese-aroma spells?
Milimajor and Miliminor.
Tory second term guaranteed.
Dem Roths-chile decree it so.
The Smiths
Gave birth to the term Indie? I'd say PiL were more Indie than Punk and for my money the first proper "Indie" act, but the global academic acceptance of Moz and the gang made Indie a financial possibility for the industry. Good for what it is. I am not a Moz fan doe. A jumped-up pantry boy. Also, the snide middle-class art-student condescension of the Smitherati at the time and nasal-gazing of "Lesser" music forms by these student types (esp. "Black" music) made/makes my sang froth.
Tiger Woods
Why does bloke even still play golf?
All that money and a faceful of misery. What???s the point? What a miserable cunt.
Worst ???sportsman??? ever. Awful wretch.
Brilliant golfer. But like so many of us, unable to lead a life as pious as the bank balance. People always have a pop at sportsmen for being devoid of personality but I guess that single minded focus that has put them on top of their game came at the expense of developing idle chit-chat. Would you want the likes of Alan Carr on the pitch for The Three Lions?
Well, actually... his dad is a City scout and the pros hardly covered themselves in glory...
Inbetweeners
Wisdom would have nailed it, probably. It???s all about the timing, see?
Shuddering at that mental image. Thanks.
[i]Goldie[/i]
On Strictly Come Dancing? Really??
Vraiment! Since getting jiggy with the old conductor's baton, Clifford is on a mission to prove that a would be Walsall scally mugger from a badly broken home can mix it with the happer-clar-sez and hold his own amongst the idle chit-chat of old school ties, Rachmaninov and school fees, without resorting to reaching for his sheepskin and a sharp exit.
Good for him.
Anyways dudes, what???s been happening?
Can you believe #2 son is one year old tomorrow. Raise you glar-sez (As requested I provide Southern Style translations when the mood takes me - NB these are not those dipped-in-spice-powder-with-vague-allusions-to-cajun/NOLA-panache-imagery Southern-Style translations) to Felix Daniel and may his skin never wrinkle.
L*o, that half-empty bottle of Thunderbird you found under the bench will also do.
Was away on hols, returned to find work scenario has changed (slightly, not as bad as Skel's), but also decided to cut down on Strutting as I found myself taking-out work-stress on poasters, and generally being a knob :cheese:
I assumed this would be the most appropriate thread...
DocMcCoy"Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,913 Posts
Richard Searling is involved with those events, IIRC. Very much something for the Grown And Sexy crowd, or those who went to the all-dayers/weekenders during the 80s. They had Ashford & Simpson on at one of them a few years back, and I can't remember precisely why me and the missus ended up not going, but we were deffo looking at it at one point.
I assumed this would be the most appropriate thread...
Have you done a hotel Soul Weekend there before? Some friends were trying to talk me into one a while back, but it was mostly modern. Incognito doing a live set etc. (who I am a big fan of). I didn't go in the end, Blackpool as a place has good and bad memories for me.
I assume Richard is DJing there too and I went to a few of his night when I was back in the NW and the vibe was good, I even toughed it out through the Northern I reckon there will be a lot of balding white men with chunky bracelets and short-sleeves but I could be wrong.
I usually umm and aaah over Southport, but I've had indifferent experiences there (which to be fair, was more to do with kids on class A's with soundsystems going 24-...3) - but no kip at my age puts me in a grumpy state of mind. I did call them out on the Southport messageboard and was met with replies along the lines of "Who goes to a weekender to sleep?" and "LOL U SOUND OLD".
I guess I must be? If only Skel was around to advise me on a better moisturiser...
I've never been to one before, but a couple of guys mentioned it on twitter, and i decided to buy a ticket as i'm quite into modern and boogie at the moment(northern doesn't do it for me), and there's not really anywhere around me which does it.
You're probably right about the old bald guys, but i think one or two guys i know are going so it'll be all good. I'm actually quite excited about it...
I always assume something like this would be like being at a golf club social for 3 days. I mean, it would be a soulful golf club of course, but, anyway, the idea scares me. Shiny suits & slip-ons. With good music.
I give you a generic survival guide to the soul weekender
1. Prepare yourself for accommodation misery by forcing yourself into daily contemplation of what it would be like to sleep on a piss, blood and puke sodden mattress whilst sharing a room at the Chelsea with Sid n Nancy hours after the overdose.
2. Aim to bag the bed furthest from the door. Get in quick, son
3. Under no circumstances get slaughtered on lager on the Friday night. Weekender write-off moves revealed.
4. Use the Friday night to sus out the dealers with the raer. These will not be dudes on a stall, which avoid at all costs. No, what you want is the wiry dude with beady eyes, a feathercut and a Harrington, holding a little 45 box. Spend a grand and walk away with two or three grails that you will likely never see again. If you can???t find this dude, follow Gary Dennis around. Dude is a record dealer magnet.
5. Chat to Gary Dennis. Tell him you're a budding DJ. He'll love that. ::
6. Eat only chips. The ingestation of any abattoir-wall-scraping burger or hotdog made from mechanically recovered meat product will lead to the inevitable bout of shitting through the eye of a needle for days.
7. Avoid having a shit. Those toilets are none too clever. Best believe that.
8. Do the Jazz room, especially if a non-jazz dude like Dennis or Norman is on duty.
9. Park the ego at the door for Saturday night. You think you???re clued up and know your music, but you???ll see dudes who know every beat and word of every record all night long.
10. You???ll see a gang of black blokes necking pints of bitter saying things like ???By ???eck tha???s reeet champion is that???. Get over it NOW.
11. Do go to the Sunday lunchtime session. Two thousand geezers formation dancing to O???Jays ???I Love Music??? at twelve noon may sound highly gay and suspicious, but best believe it represents the best fun of the weekend.
12. You are NOT there to pull birds. Any bird there is either with a bloke, or travelling as a mate of a gang of blokes, and is therefore a geezer-bird. This does not GF material make.
13. Give up on the idea of bumping into a Soulstrut dude.You???ll not find them at a soul weekender. Soulstrut is where dudes think modern soul started in 1982 and comprises drum machines and synth bass. Soulstrut is also where dudes who actually do understand what constitutes Modern are nevertheless extremely asshurt over the fact that our forefathers sorted the wheat from the chaff, named the genre strains and found all the good records whilst Meriman contemporaries were still gurning along to Grand Funk Railroad and Kiss.
14. Most importantly, take every opportunity to see the legends in action. Some of these dudes are getting old. You will be grateful for this advice in 20 years time, when you???ll be able to go onto whatever passes for a music chatroom then and tell dudes ???listen mate, I was THERE when Colin Curtis played blah blah blah??????
15. Spend the following three days recovering your poise and complexion by adopting the tried and trusted Jimster Gluten-free Ginseng and Camomile Tea regime.
???Ian Rush doesn???t even have a real moustache. My uncle makes them for him.???
???I got him to spit right on my willy.???"
???all Crips are good at rapping, and so is John Barnes.???
"his dad once kicked a football so high that it got stuck on top of a cloud and they had to hire a helicopter to get it back down.???
DocMcCoy"Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,913 Posts
skel said:
I give you a generic survival guide to the soul weekender
1. Prepare yourself for accommodation misery by forcing yourself into daily contemplation of what it would be like to sleep on a piss, blood and puke sodden mattress whilst sharing a room at the Chelsea with Sid n Nancy hours after the overdose.
2. Aim to bag the bed furthest from the door. Get in quick, son
3. Under no circumstances get slaughtered on lager on the Friday night. Weekender write-off moves revealed.
4. Use the Friday night to sus out the dealers with the raer. These will not be dudes on a stall, which avoid at all costs. No, what you want is the wiry dude with beady eyes, a feathercut and a Harrington, holding a little 45 box. Spend a grand and walk away with two or three grails that you will likely never see again. If you can???t find this dude, follow Gary Dennis around. Dude is a record dealer magnet.
5. Chat to Gary Dennis. Tell him you're a budding DJ. He'll love that. ::
6. Eat only chips. The ingestation of any abattoir-wall-scraping burger or hotdog made from mechanically recovered meat product will lead to the inevitable bout of shitting through the eye of a needle for days.
7. Avoid having a shit. Those toilets are none too clever. Best believe that.
8. Do the Jazz room, especially if a non-jazz dude like Dennis or Norman is on duty.
9. Park the ego at the door for Saturday night. You think you???re clued up and know your music, but you???ll see dudes who know every beat and word of every record all night long.
10. You???ll see a gang of black blokes necking pints of bitter saying things like ???By ???eck tha???s reeet champion is that???. Get over it NOW.
11. Do go to the Sunday lunchtime session. Two thousand geezers formation dancing to O???Jays ???I Love Music??? at twelve noon may sound highly gay and suspicious, but best believe it represents the best fun of the weekend.
12. You are NOT there to pull birds. Any bird there is either with a bloke, or travelling as a mate of a gang of blokes, and is therefore a geezer-bird. This does not GF material make.
13. Give up on the idea of bumping into a Soulstrut dude.You???ll not find them at a soul weekender. Soulstrut is where dudes think modern soul started in 1982 and comprises drum machines and synth bass. Soulstrut is also where dudes who actually do understand what constitutes Modern are nevertheless extremely asshurt over the fact that our forefathers sorted the wheat from the chaff, named the genre strains and found all the good records whilst Meriman contemporaries were still gurning along to Grand Funk Railroad and Kiss.
14. Most importantly, take every opportunity to see the legends in action. Some of these dudes are getting old. You will be grateful for this advice in 20 years time, when you???ll be able to go onto whatever passes for a music chatroom then and tell dudes ???listen mate, I was THERE when Colin Curtis played blah blah blah??????
15. Spend the following three days recovering your poise and complexion by adopting the tried and trusted Jimster Gluten-free Ginseng and Camomile Tea regime.
Southport the other year was my most recent. We had a good time, people from all over turning up for this, faces old and new. People putting in an effort to temporarily pimp their chalets out. And as for the music, It's not often you can buks a move to Good Times and Boogie Oogie Oogie without being ironic or the oldest person out there. The PAs are generally better quality than expected, no? I mean, actual musicians most of the time where you'd expect a DAT, a karaoke and brown-envelope at the end. The beer and people watching were also first-rate.
There are indeed many geezer-birds. These are usually dressed double-digit years too young, and seemed to be, after cursory informal dialogue, on the hunt for cok* and co*k. I suspect they assume an alter-ego at these events; their default 9-to-5 personality being "Hatchet-faced misery with 1000 year-old soul" (c) Skel. Approach with caution, or capture the evidence on camera phone for make benefit LOLs down the line.
There seemed to be two distinct camps of punters this time; the too-grown-to-be-sexy (that would be us) and the 2-step-kids. I guess your experience may vary dependent on what degree of er... gregariousness you bring to da table. The fogeys seemed the more approachable, the kids were all Club18-30-wot-you-fink-your-chalet's-loud?
We'd come from NYC, Italy and Austria for the hook up but gave up trying to listen to or swap tracks amongst ourselves when their pa was rattling the windows out of our chalet. I mean, in general their set choices weren't bad (if not a likkle more-urban-than-thou) but they were drowning out everyone else's music, all the time. Bringing the laptops and ipod dock was a masterstroke in futility. It hadn't been an issue before.
It's difficult to say who's right/wrong given the nature of the gathering but they had f*ck-all consideration for anyone else.
11. Do go to the Sunday lunchtime session. Two thousand geezers formation dancing to O???Jays ???I Love Music??? at twelve noon may sound highly gay and suspicious, but best believe it represents the best fun of the weekend.
Southport Weekender accomodation is poor, looks like they were built in the 50s....LOL!
I went back in the early 90s and enjoyed it, despite the crap accomodation, but visited again in mid 2000s and found the public had changed!
Too many tarty girls with fake suntans and slapper clothing, plus the urban music room had replaced the modern soul room (not a step forward for my personal tastes).
It has become far too much of a commercial money making event I'd say, compared to how it started.
The one to attend in the future will be 'Vintage' from what mates who attended told me. One friend said 'Vintage' was the best thing he'd attended in 10 years, much better than Southport.
Like any such gathering you need to attend in the early years, before the big business ethos takes over and it eventually becomes too big for its own good!!!
How to survive a weekender by Skel was well funny, and right on point....hahaha
Comments
I DO NOT LIKE HIS FILMS BUT MAY HE REST IN PEACE.
IT WOULD APPEAR MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT AVERSE TO HIS HUMOUR. THEY DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WARD HIM OFF BY MAKING CRUCIFIX SIGNS WITH THEIR FINGERS AS YOU WOULD IF FACED WITH A TRAINEE VAMPIRE.
THE FOLKS WHO LIKE HIM MUST ALSO BE KEEPING THE FLAMES OF THESE CLOWNS FANNED TOO.
MANY WOULD CLASS JIM CARREY IN THIS BRACKET BUT I BELIEVE HIS WORK IN THE ABOVE TRANSCENDS MERE CLOWNING.
I FIND HIS WORK NONPLUSSES ME AND HIS FILMS WERE MAD BORING, THUN. EVEN THE DANCING POTATOE PIECE.
YOU ARE WELCOME.
I don't dig the Carrey, although he has his moments.
Charlie Chaplin does not belong on this list. His movies may be lost to many in the modern era, but dude was a genius. They have great depth, beyond the tomfoolery and potato dancing, some are very political. A stance that would eventually see him kicked out of America.
In 1940 he made his first first talking picture 'The Great Dictator' (a complex movie ridiculing Nazism - I await Carrey making something on a similar level) at the end he drops out of character to address the audience, to say, ""I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible ??? Jew, Gentile ??? black man ??? white. "We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness ??? not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone."
He also composed this.
I ride for a little bit of Charlie and admire the man's talent, what he brought to the genre and his legacy but I find the amount of saccharine to be overwhelming after more than a few minutes. Give me a guy risking his life for the sake of a perfect joke any day of the week.
Also, Carrey is a douche but it is a foolish man indeed who ignores Dumb and Dumber. Also, Cable Guy. Mugging apart that film is highly underrated.
Edit: Also Jimster can you please post a local and queen's english version of all your future posts. Cheered me up no end.
I'm off now for a week and expect to come back to find a solitary Brit in this thread replying to themselves. The end of our little isle is nigh :(
This.
I remember seeing an exhibition in some museum in Perth, Australia a few years ago with a bunch of stills along with screenings of a few of his films. I came away with the sense that, as well as being a good comic, he was a technical master; some of the shots and effects would shame some modern directors.
why do you hate Britain
Now this cannot possibly be true. RAJ stated that he heas seen a huge increase in posters from teh Sceptr'd Isle.
Deal.
HEARRRRR ME NOWWWW
Norman Wisdom
Siding with Moke on this.
Jimster's anti-Norman vitriol is wholly uncharacteristic and leads an inquiring mind to ask, is there something dark in the Moisturised One's history that could account for it? Hmm? Hmmmm???
Speak on it. SPEAK.
Leo
Lad???s work email says out of office til 27th Sep. No response to my mail of 25th.
I fear something iffy has happened.
Milimajor and Miliminor.
Here???s the thing; I can???t recognise dudes that are brothers, opposing each other in an election, as anything other than the most sickening freak show level wrongness. Whichever side of the sibling age fence you were on, one of you would give way. It would usually be incumbent on the younger bro to cede, this being the natural order of things. On the other hand, it would be the noblest and most brotherly of deeds to give your kid bro a helping hand on the struggle through life by standing yourself down.
That neither of them could do such a thing speaks of deep, deep ishoos in their lives, and unresolved Oedipal conflict. All of this notwithstanding, neither has done a proper day???s work in their lives. Yet BogBrushHair n??? Hilary-wettingMili seems to have parlayed his MP salary in relatively short years into a very nice Georgian fronted drum in the posh area, and so I suspect that the Marxist scholar daddy in the background may have had a smidgeon of idealogical, um, elasticity going on, vis a vis stock-piling a mountain of cash. In any case, neither Mili comes out of this with any credit.
Please no-one to attempt to gainsay this crap, if it doesn't chime with my PMG narrative it will be ignored.
Next up: Ed Balls vs Yvette Cooper.
SMFH at this in-bred bullshit.
Tory second term guaranteed.
The Smiths
Did I see the brah Beatnick dishing the Smiths?
See, now ordinarily I???d rather gouge my own eyes out than spare time to dudes who run dey mouf with such music-R equivalents of holocaust denial. Nick surely knows that the Smiths emergence in 83 or thereabouts was in direct contravention to the sophistipop preening and poodle-hair softcock metal that was prevalent during the rise of yuppiedom.
The Police, Bonnie Tyler, Eurythmics, Culture Club, Duran Duran, Def Leppard, Billy Idol; that was your pop fodder back then, the ubiquitous soundtrack as you sat in your double breasted suit and paisley tie on a red plush leatherette stool against a shiny chromed balustrade in some poncey night club with a faux-European name. And chatted up some puffball skirt rocking, Brandy and Cr??me de Menthe cocktail guzzling George Benson bird while getting caned on Stella . Well, at least that was my mid 80s experience.
On the indie scene: Meriman faves D??p??che Mode (hey, at least you can dance to it !!1!!1! copyright DB Cooper), the truly over-rated Aztec Camera, the tail end of Crass ??? best b4 1984 indeed, but only just ??? was signalling the confirmation of the death of the last vestiges of punk.
In 2010 I don???t own more than a small handful of Smiths records, but best believe that the gladioli in Morrissey???s back pocket was one of the most welcome symbolic harbingers of a new musical springtime that we have seen from that year to this. It seems to me that Morrissey and Marr between them wrested rock music from the hands of the infidel and freed it for who-ever was to come after. Too bad for us that those who came after drove rock into the Britpop cul-de-sac from whence it has never really emerged. Talmbout Blur, Oasis, Libertines et al.
Having met the Beatboy over a pie n??? pint on more than one occasion, I can confirm he is a warm and witty individual, who may have been scamming the board on the heavily ironic comedy terrorism tip. Either that, or he was not of an age in the mid 80s to fully appreciate the desert that existed, and the oasis that the Smiths represented. Nevarr, in the field of jangly post-punk, have so many owed so much to so few.
Tiger Woods
Why does bloke even still play golf?
All that money and a faceful of misery. What???s the point? What a miserable cunt.
Worst ???sportsman??? ever. Awful wretch.
Inbetweeners
One of the very few shows I have bothered to watch these last months. I???m half digging it.
So a few weeks back my woman is laughing like a drain at dude mincing up and down a catwalk in a pair of speedos with half a bollock hanging out.
So when I try it dans la boite de bed, half inch and a wrinkle peeping out of a pair of no-longer prison white snuggie boxers, it???s all tumbleweed and chirpsing crickets up in that bith. Wisdom would have nailed it, probably. It???s all about the timing, see?
[i]Goldie[/i]
On Strictly Come Dancing? Really??
WTF. I???ll wager some of you dudes were up on this dude BITD on some edgy urban DubRap or BrapDub or JungleTripHop genre invention fanboy steeze. So, how???s his foxtrot versus Widdecomb???s Cha Cha Cha? His samba versus NotALot Daniels??? latin hustle?
Honestly, this :someshamefulshit:
Anyways dudes, what???s been happening?
Liverpool to be bought by Boston Red Sox owners
Crisis-hit Liverpool are to be sold to the owners of the Boston Red Sox baseball team.
But the takeover by the New England Sports Ventures (NESV) is subject to the resolution of a legal dispute with US owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett.
The Premier League will also have to approve the latest American buyout.
Earlier Hicks and Gillett tried to sack managing director Christian Purslow and commercial director Ian Ayre in a last-ditch bid to keep control of the club.
In an attempt to block any sale and regain control of the club, Liverpool's much criticised owners tried to replace Purslow and Ayre with Hicks's son, Mack Hicks, and Lori Kay McCutcheon, a vice president at Hicks Holdings.
Hicks and Gillett are understood to have argued that the club's English directors were not acting in the best interests of Liverpool and that the NESV bid - as well another undisclosed offer from Asia - "dramatically undervalued the club".
Purslow, Ayre and chairman Martin Broughton are now consulting lawyers over whether they can resist the owners' attempts to replace them and force through a sale.
"I am delighted that we have been able to successfully conclude the sale process which has been thorough and extensive," said Broughton.
"The Board decided to accept NESV's proposal on the basis that it best met the criteria we set out originally for a suitable new owner. NESV's philosophy is all about winning and they have fully demonstrated that at Red Sox.
"We've met them in Boston, London and Liverpool over several weeks and I am immensely impressed with what they have achieved and with their vision for Liverpool Football Club.
"By removing the burden of acquisition debt, this offer allows us to focus on investment in the team.
I am only disappointed that the owners have tried everything to prevent the deal from happening and that we need to go through legal proceedings in order to complete the sale
NESV currently owns a portfolio of companies including the Boston Red Sox, New England Sports Network, Fenway Sports Group and Rousch Fenway Racing.
They are partly owned by futures and foreign exchange trading advisor John W. Henry who has an estimated fortune of ??540m.
NESV are thought to be offering about ??300m for the club, enough to pay back the ??240m of loans and ??40m of fees owed to Royal Bank of Scotland, which must be settled at the end of next week.
However, this valuation falls well short of the ??600m that Hicks and Gillett are thought to want for the club, hence their opposition.
Liverpool were put up for sale by Hicks and Gillett in April with debts of ??351.4m.
They initially sought an asking price of about ??800m, a figure they subsequently dropped to ??600m.
In August, there were abortive bids from Hong Kong businessman Kenny Huang while a consortium fronted by Syrian businessman Yahya Kirdi also expressed an interest.
The owners paid ??174.1m to buy the club in 2007, while also agreeing to take on the club's debt of ??44.8m.
Many fans have become increasingly outraged at the pair's ownership of the club, which is said to be currently ??237.4m in debt, and their failure to carry through promises to build a new stadium.
The Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) has set a deadline of 15 October for that debt to be repaid or a penalty fee of ??60m will be due.
The bank has the option of extending the deadline once again, or calling it in, taking control and then selling the club to the highest bidder.
Liverpool's troubles off the pitch have coincided with the Anfield club making their worst start to a league campaign since 1953-54, when they were relegated. The Reds are currently wallowing in 18th place in the Premier League.
I had read this and thought it would go to them losing the team once the loans were called.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/oct/05/boston-red-sox-owner-offer-liverpool
I find his gurning simian stumblings too low-brow. And worse, plain unfunny. I'd rather spend my time reading demands from the tax man. Also, I would wager his skincare regime was mad weak.
Thun.
Me too. Value of his collection decimated after actual attempt at legendary Stark/dip interface after too many Japanese beers, now in mourning/gingerly applying pva to record surface and googling anti-cheese-aroma spells?
Dem Roths-chile decree it so.
Gave birth to the term Indie? I'd say PiL were more Indie than Punk and for my money the first proper "Indie" act, but the global academic acceptance of Moz and the gang made Indie a financial possibility for the industry. Good for what it is. I am not a Moz fan doe. A jumped-up pantry boy. Also, the snide middle-class art-student condescension of the Smitherati at the time and nasal-gazing of "Lesser" music forms by these student types (esp. "Black" music) made/makes my sang froth.
Brilliant golfer. But like so many of us, unable to lead a life as pious as the bank balance. People always have a pop at sportsmen for being devoid of personality but I guess that single minded focus that has put them on top of their game came at the expense of developing idle chit-chat. Would you want the likes of Alan Carr on the pitch for The Three Lions?
Well, actually... his dad is a City scout and the pros hardly covered themselves in glory...
Shuddering at that mental image. Thanks.
Vraiment! Since getting jiggy with the old conductor's baton, Clifford is on a mission to prove that a would be Walsall scally mugger from a badly broken home can mix it with the happer-clar-sez and hold his own amongst the idle chit-chat of old school ties, Rachmaninov and school fees, without resorting to reaching for his sheepskin and a sharp exit.
Good for him.
Can you believe #2 son is one year old tomorrow. Raise you glar-sez (As requested I provide Southern Style translations when the mood takes me - NB these are not those dipped-in-spice-powder-with-vague-allusions-to-cajun/NOLA-panache-imagery Southern-Style translations) to Felix Daniel and may his skin never wrinkle.
L*o, that half-empty bottle of Thunderbird you found under the bench will also do.
:beerbang:
And there's more goodness in a well-strained fag-butt than three whole Silk Cuts.
.....................................................................................................................................................
Was away on hols, returned to find work scenario has changed (slightly, not as bad as Skel's), but also decided to cut down on Strutting as I found myself taking-out work-stress on poasters, and generally being a knob :cheese:
Plus ca change.
http://newsarse.com/2010/10/06/liverpool-to-be-renamed-merseyside-red-sox/
i'm a brit
anyone going to this?
http://www.luxurysoulweekender.com/index.asp
I assumed this would be the most appropriate thread...
Have you done a hotel Soul Weekend there before? Some friends were trying to talk me into one a while back, but it was mostly modern. Incognito doing a live set etc. (who I am a big fan of). I didn't go in the end, Blackpool as a place has good and bad memories for me.
I assume Richard is DJing there too and I went to a few of his night when I was back in the NW and the vibe was good, I even toughed it out through the Northern
I usually umm and aaah over Southport, but I've had indifferent experiences there (which to be fair, was more to do with kids on class A's with soundsystems going 24-...3) - but no kip at my age puts me in a grumpy state of mind. I did call them out on the Southport messageboard and was met with replies along the lines of "Who goes to a weekender to sleep?" and "LOL U SOUND OLD".
I guess I must be? If only Skel was around to advise me on a better moisturiser...
I've never been to one before, but a couple of guys mentioned it on twitter, and i decided to buy a ticket as i'm quite into modern and boogie at the moment(northern doesn't do it for me), and there's not really anywhere around me which does it.
You're probably right about the old bald guys, but i think one or two guys i know are going so it'll be all good. I'm actually quite excited about it...
I always assume something like this would be like being at a golf club social for 3 days. I mean, it would be a soulful golf club of course, but, anyway, the idea scares me. Shiny suits & slip-ons. With good music.
Well I bought a ticket the other week so i guess i'll see!
???Ian Rush doesn???t even have a real moustache. My uncle makes them for him.???
???I got him to spit right on my willy.???"
???all Crips are good at rapping, and so is John Barnes.???
1. Prepare yourself for accommodation misery by forcing yourself into daily contemplation of what it would be like to sleep on a piss, blood and puke sodden mattress whilst sharing a room at the Chelsea with Sid n Nancy hours after the overdose.
2. Aim to bag the bed furthest from the door. Get in quick, son
3. Under no circumstances get slaughtered on lager on the Friday night. Weekender write-off moves revealed.
4. Use the Friday night to sus out the dealers with the raer. These will not be dudes on a stall, which avoid at all costs. No, what you want is the wiry dude with beady eyes, a feathercut and a Harrington, holding a little 45 box. Spend a grand and walk away with two or three grails that you will likely never see again. If you can???t find this dude, follow Gary Dennis around. Dude is a record dealer magnet.
5. Chat to Gary Dennis. Tell him you're a budding DJ. He'll love that. :
6. Eat only chips. The ingestation of any abattoir-wall-scraping burger or hotdog made from mechanically recovered meat product will lead to the inevitable bout of shitting through the eye of a needle for days.
7. Avoid having a shit. Those toilets are none too clever. Best believe that.
8. Do the Jazz room, especially if a non-jazz dude like Dennis or Norman is on duty.
9. Park the ego at the door for Saturday night. You think you???re clued up and know your music, but you???ll see dudes who know every beat and word of every record all night long.
10. You???ll see a gang of black blokes necking pints of bitter saying things like ???By ???eck tha???s reeet champion is that???. Get over it NOW.
11. Do go to the Sunday lunchtime session. Two thousand geezers formation dancing to O???Jays ???I Love Music??? at twelve noon may sound highly gay and suspicious, but best believe it represents the best fun of the weekend.
12. You are NOT there to pull birds. Any bird there is either with a bloke, or travelling as a mate of a gang of blokes, and is therefore a geezer-bird. This does not GF material make.
13. Give up on the idea of bumping into a Soulstrut dude.You???ll not find them at a soul weekender. Soulstrut is where dudes think modern soul started in 1982 and comprises drum machines and synth bass. Soulstrut is also where dudes who actually do understand what constitutes Modern are nevertheless extremely asshurt over the fact that our forefathers sorted the wheat from the chaff, named the genre strains and found all the good records whilst Meriman contemporaries were still gurning along to Grand Funk Railroad and Kiss.
14. Most importantly, take every opportunity to see the legends in action. Some of these dudes are getting old. You will be grateful for this advice in 20 years time, when you???ll be able to go onto whatever passes for a music chatroom then and tell dudes ???listen mate, I was THERE when Colin Curtis played blah blah blah??????
15. Spend the following three days recovering your poise and complexion by adopting the tried and trusted Jimster Gluten-free Ginseng and Camomile Tea regime.
And post pix or it didn???t happen.
"He then came up with ???Song for Whoever??? (???Jennifer, Alison, Philippa, Sue??? etc) based on all the girls he???d fingered."
lol
"his dad once kicked a football so high that it got stuck on top of a cloud and they had to hire a helicopter to get it back down.???
CLASSIQUE.
Haha i guess i'm ready now! No fear on the thinking i know music - i know i'm a little fish in a big pond in that respect!
Thanks for the pointers!
Southport the other year was my most recent. We had a good time, people from all over turning up for this, faces old and new. People putting in an effort to temporarily pimp their chalets out. And as for the music, It's not often you can buks a move to Good Times and Boogie Oogie Oogie without being ironic or the oldest person out there. The PAs are generally better quality than expected, no? I mean, actual musicians most of the time where you'd expect a DAT, a karaoke and brown-envelope at the end. The beer and people watching were also first-rate.
There are indeed many geezer-birds. These are usually dressed double-digit years too young, and seemed to be, after cursory informal dialogue, on the hunt for cok* and co*k. I suspect they assume an alter-ego at these events; their default 9-to-5 personality being "Hatchet-faced misery with 1000 year-old soul" (c) Skel. Approach with caution, or capture the evidence on camera phone for make benefit LOLs down the line.
There seemed to be two distinct camps of punters this time; the too-grown-to-be-sexy (that would be us) and the 2-step-kids. I guess your experience may vary dependent on what degree of er... gregariousness you bring to da table. The fogeys seemed the more approachable, the kids were all Club18-30-wot-you-fink-your-chalet's-loud?
We'd come from NYC, Italy and Austria for the hook up but gave up trying to listen to or swap tracks amongst ourselves when their pa was rattling the windows out of our chalet. I mean, in general their set choices weren't bad (if not a likkle more-urban-than-thou) but they were drowning out everyone else's music, all the time. Bringing the laptops and ipod dock was a masterstroke in futility. It hadn't been an issue before.
It's difficult to say who's right/wrong given the nature of the gathering but they had f*ck-all consideration for anyone else.
Ha ha - lovely.
I went back in the early 90s and enjoyed it, despite the crap accomodation, but visited again in mid 2000s and found the public had changed!
Too many tarty girls with fake suntans and slapper clothing, plus the urban music room had replaced the modern soul room (not a step forward for my personal tastes).
It has become far too much of a commercial money making event I'd say, compared to how it started.
The one to attend in the future will be 'Vintage' from what mates who attended told me. One friend said 'Vintage' was the best thing he'd attended in 10 years, much better than Southport.
Like any such gathering you need to attend in the early years, before the big business ethos takes over and it eventually becomes too big for its own good!!!
How to survive a weekender by Skel was well funny, and right on point....hahaha