TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    LFC Jokes. No offence intended to LFC fans, these used to be City jokes IIRC...

    Here we go...

    Bought a 3d tv.god its good
    fell asleep during the Liverpool
    game,when i woke up my
    wallet had gone !!!!

    Dont get a Liverpool credit card..
    Got one this morning and my credit
    rating has gone down by 9 points already !!!!

    The first task for the chilean miners after
    their release is to visit anfield to teach
    roy hodgson how to get out of a big hole
    befor christmas !!!!!

    I bought the wife a new pair of Liverpool fc
    knickers from the club shop.a sound investment
    two yanks and they are down !!!!

    I cant wait for next seasons merseyside derby
    Liverpool v tranmere rovers !!!!

    Which ship is waiting to dock in Liverpool??
    The championship !!!!

    Liverpool have made a bid for rooney after
    he said he wanted to play in a different league
    next season !!!

  • alieNDNalieNDN 2,181 Posts
    I don't know if this is the place to do it, but I'd appreciate modern quality british comedies. I love the IT Crowd, Flights of The Concord (I think its New Zealand based though), Spaced, Dark Place, The Thick of it and the Peep show. Any more suggestions?

  • grahamgraham 201 Posts
    The Inbetweeners is great. The series just finished but they are supposed to have a movie out next year. Icefilms.info has all 3 seasons.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    AlieNDN: The Green Wing. Surreal comedy set in a hospital, it's funny, filthy, and in Dr Guy Secretan, the show has a character to rival vintage Daffy Duck... although in this clearly improvised scene, he's out-goosed by Sue White in a who-will-crack-first face-off:


  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    Rooney staying

    Wayne Rooney has agreed a new 5 year contract to stay at Manchester United until at least June 2015.

    The agreement follows intensive discussions between the Club and the player???s representatives and means that by the end of his contract Wayne will have been a Manchester United player for 11 years.

    Sir Alex Ferguson said: ???It???s been a difficult week, but the intensity of the coverage is what we expect at Manchester United. I said to the boy that the door is always open and I???m delighted Wayne has agreed to stay.

    ???Sometimes, when you???re in a club, it can be hard to realise just how big it is and it takes something like the events of the last few days to make you understand. I think Wayne now understands what a great club Manchester United is.

    ???I???m pleased he has accepted the challenge to guide the younger players and establish himself as one of United???s great players. It shows character and belief in what we stand for.

    ???I???m sure everyone involved with the Club will now get behind Wayne and show him the support he needs to produce the performances we know he is capable of.???

    Wayne Rooney said: ???I???m delighted to sign another deal at United. In the last couple of days, I???ve talked to the Manager and the owners and they???ve convinced me this is where I belong. I said on Wednesday the Manager???s a genius and it???s his belief and support that have convinced me to stay.

    ???I???m signing a new deal in the absolute belief that the management, coaching staff, board and owners are totally committed to making sure United maintains its proud winning history ??? which is the reason I joined the Club in the first place.

    ???I???m sure the fans over the last week have felt let down by what they???ve read and seen. But my position was from concern over the future. The fans have been brilliant with me since I arrived and it???s up to me through my performances to win them over again.???

    :balla: :beerbang: :lol: :hard_as_fuck:

    now get back to your hatting ways people.

  • Rich45sRich45s 327 Posts
    Done a 'Ronaldo' Told he can go in a year or two, and can get a mega fee out of whomever buys him due to length of contract.

    Provided he gets back to being not shite

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    ROO-TURN: Wayne Rooney stays at Manchester United after signing five-year deal
    Rooney, 24, said: "I'm delighted to sign another deal at United.
    "In the last couple of days, I've talked to the manager and the owners and they've convinced me this is where I belong. "

    Thoughts.. Paul? Ali?



    b/w

    Ian Holloway is definitely King of the nutters.


  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    He'll stay and even he doesn't stay, at least he'll be sold for an absolute shit load.

    The impending loss of Fergie and to a lesser extent Giggs and Scholes is a massive blow for the club, I can't blame Roo for being concerned about the Glazer's investment in the club considering these circumstances.

    I know I'm supposed to feel outraged and let-down to some extent but actually I'm delighted.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Yeah it's a win/win for us. He either stays and gets focused or we get a big wad of money for him. Either way, despite me understanding his concerns, he really couldn't have come out of this looking like anymore of a muppet so hopefully some kind of lesson has got through the potatoskin to the brain there.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    The whole saga has been very strange. All this to get extra money?? I cram to understand.

    -

    for light relief (no ayo) c&p this into the address bar (replacing http://www.soulstrut... etc)

    [removed]var s = document.createElement('script');s.type='text/javascript';document.body.appendChild(s);s.src='http://erkie.github.com/asteroids.min.js';void(0);

    REPLACE [removed] with - javascript then a :

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    The whole saga has been very strange. All this to get extra money?? I cram to understand.

    -

    for light relief (no ayo) c&p this into the address bar (replacing http://www.soulstrut... etc)

    [removed]var s = document.createElement('script');s.type='text/javascript';document.body.appendChild(s);s.src='http://erkie.github.com/asteroids.min.js';void(0);
    Ha! Raj should replace the ignore user option with this for the site. Far more therapeutic.

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    LOL.

    I blew up every highlights video of Arsenal winning 5-0 by passing the ball into the net versus FC Bullshit.


    Here's a photo from earlier today:


  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    It's a pretty sweet 'hack'. Although it would be even better if, like in the original, objects blew in to pieces that could be shot again. That, and it also needs sound fx. (mainly just to step me looking a COMPLETE FUCKING NERD when I suddenly realize I'm sitting there making them myself.) PEW PEW PEW! EXPLOSION!!

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    Shortly after signing a new five-year contract with United, Wayne Rooney sat down with MUTV on Friday to talk about his new deal and staying at United...

    Wayne, a new contract for you, how are you feeling?
    Yeah, I???m delighted. There has been a bit of controversy over the timing of it all. But I???m delighted it???s finally signed. Hopefully I can move on and get back fit and get back playing again.

    The aim is to be back on the pitch and playing, but what have the last few days been like for you?
    It???s been difficult for me and for the club as well. For me, I felt I had to get my point across and we finally came to an agreement, which I think is best for the two of us, for me and ??? that???s the best thing for me and the club.

    When you originally had discussions with David a while ago, can you explain your feelings and how things have changed?
    As a player here at United I care for the club. I had some concerns and I made the manager and David Gill aware. It went on from there and it didn???t really move forward in terms of contract talks. Then in the last few days that???s all been made public knowledge, which made it more difficult. We felt ??? myself and the club ??? that we had to move quickly to sort it out. I???ve spoken with the manager, David Gill and the owners and all of them have confirmed to me that this is the right club for me to be at, and that the club is going to continue to be successful and win things. I had other things I wanted to air as well, but I was happy to move forward and sign the deal.

    How complicated is the negotiation process?
    It is very complicated. It???s about the football club, but it???s about me and my career as well. So I had to think about it really hard.

    I???m just delighted it???s over now and hopefully we can put it to the back of our minds.

    How does it feel to be a young footballer in the middle of all this? What emotions are going through your mind?
    Yeah, it???s difficult. There???s a lot of media coverage that you have to deal with. I???m sure with other players these discussions happen as well, but they just never become public knowledge. Obviously my situation did, and it made it more difficult. But I spoke with the club about it and we felt it was best to move things on quickly. I???m really delighted I???ve managed to agree the deal today.

    Presumably it???s wonderful at times being Wayne Rooney, but being who you are is the reason why people have such strong opinions on it???
    Yeah, that???s something I???ve had for many years now and you just have to try and learn to deal with it. I know I can deal with it myself. Sometimes it does get a bit difficult, but I???m glad it???s over with now and I???m just looking forward to getting back fit and playing again.

    We heard from Sir Alex earlier this week and he sounded passionate, and quite emotional. You mentioned him in the statement in the week, what have you got to say about the way he has been throughout all of this?
    It???s been difficult for him as well, I???m sure it has. He???s got to look after the club and he was trying to convince me to sign a new deal at the club. We spoke about it and he has been fantastic. He???s a great manager and I???ve said that many times. He???s one of the big reasons why I joined the club ??? to work under him and be successful. I???ve managed to do that. I???m hoping in the next few years we can do that again.

    Is he one of the main reasons you are staying here?
    Yeah. He???s not the only reason. I???ve been here now for six years. The fans have been great for me in that time. The manager???s experience, passion and will to win are one of the main reasons why I???m playing here.

    Are you surprised by how everything has happened?
    Since it???s become public knowledge, it meant we had to move quickly. Once it all came out, it looked like there was nowhere to go, and that that was it. The manager quite openly made it clear that the door was still open for me to sign and that he still wanted me to sign. That???s when I spoke to my agent and said, ???let???s go in and sit down with them and try to resolve it and try and get the deal done???. We went and spoke to the manager, David Gill and the Glazers. And I???m just pleased we worked it out.

    What???s your message to the fans now?
    I???m sure the fans are upset with everything that they???ve heard in the media. But my message is that I care for this club and I want to be here. That???s important to know. I want to continue being successful at this club. Some fans might not take to it too quickly. It might take time. But I will give 100 per cent on the pitch. I want to try and build that relationship back up. I hope that we can work together on this and try to do the best thing for Manchester United and win trophies here.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    What a crock. Blaming 'the media'? SMH

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Paul said:

    WR: Five years ago, I was happy playing for the team I'd supported all my life. Now, all I care about is money and trophies. And whores. Oh, and Man United. Nearly forgot. Thanks, Sir Alex - I owe it all to you!

    SAF: Just keep smilin', son. And shut up about the whores - it cost us a fuckin' fortune in favours to keep all that out of the papers during the World Cup.

  • alieNDNalieNDN 2,181 Posts
    Dudes, thanks for the suggestions of Green Wing and Inbetweeners. Just started watching inbetweeners, its awesome. Cheers! Always open to more suggestions.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    The dudes who wrote The Inbetweeners, also wrote some Flight of the Concords episodes. It started out great but waned a bit in later series.

    I really rate Sean Locks' 15 Storeys High. And also The Smoking Room. Green Wing, not so much.

  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    chicharito es la verdad
    nani-valencia and him will assure man u's future for a while (and i hatt manU)

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Pls 2 sell Boyata

  • djwaxondjwaxon 411 Posts
    alieNDN said:
    Dudes, thanks for the suggestions of Green Wing and Inbetweeners. Just started watching inbetweeners, its awesome. Cheers! Always open to more suggestions.

    Have you seen Peep Show?

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Okem said:

    I really rate Sean Locks' 15 Storeys High

    +1 for 15 Storeys High. Totally slept on it at the time and it was only due to a couple of friends raving about it that I finally checked it out. Well worth investing time for.

  • alieNDNalieNDN 2,181 Posts
    djwaxon said:
    alieNDN said:
    Dudes, thanks for the suggestions of Green Wing and Inbetweeners. Just started watching inbetweeners, its awesome. Cheers! Always open to more suggestions.

    Have you seen Peep Show?

    Ya! just got into that.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    The Rooooney debacle spells the end for SAF and his hair dryer, according to Pies Morgan.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1323179/Piers-Morgan-Wayne-Rooneys-greedy-demands-spell-end-Sir-Alex-Ferguson.html

    Awsm opinions dude.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I stopped reading at the line

    I???ve been predicting in this column for the last two years that the endgame for Sir Alex Ferguson???s empire at Old Trafford is upon us.
    *






    *Actually I never even read the bit before that as well since I could guess the content from the combination of Piers+Mail.

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    Piers Morgan's columns are easily the most laughable pieces of sports journalism on the internets.

    You must LOL at how he claims to be an Arsenal fan but is comfortable slagging off Wenger on a weekly basis.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    It is very much a case of a douche calling a douche, douchy.

    When it comes to class as a human being, he???s not in the same league as a Bobby Robson or Bobby Charlton. So I won???t be shedding too many tears for the old growler as he faces his humiliating final curtain. To do so would be rankly hypocritical ??? I don???t like him and he doesn???t like me.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    He does call Wayne a 'dumb little oik' though.

  • PATXPATX 2,820 Posts
    Paul said:
    Piers Morgan's columns are easily the most laughable pieces of sports journalism on the internets.

    You must LOL at how he claims to be an Arsenal fan but is comfortable slagging off Wenger on a weekly basis.

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