Look, I'm sorry that your parents heaped abuse on you, or whatever your story is. That shit wasn't fair...[robinwilliams] it's not your fault, son [/robinwilliams]. But don't inflict the pain/isolation/whatevs you're feeling on the rest of us. Just get away from your keyboard, and step outside for some sun...maybe make some friends and meet a girl. You're bound to lose your virginity sooner or later, or at least experience kissing a girl for the first time. But not if you keep on the angry hikikomori steez!
while driving,i absolutely hate people who cut the line when merging onto a highway from an on ramp. ok, so its annoying that the 80 year old man in the Datsun in front of you is a deer in headlights and isnt jumping at the chance to get into the flow of traffic. But its dangerous and obnoxious to merge into traffic before that dude does! i cut those people off and try to run them off the road. seriously.
I've never come close to a fistfight over littering, but I remember one time this guy was talking to this girl at a park and he had an empy soda bottle and he tossed it to the side and walked off with her. It landed in the grass and I picked it up and tapped him in the shoulder. Once I got his attention I threw it in the trash and I told him, "See?! Two seconds!" and I walked off. I didn't want to argue with him. I just wanted to show him how simple throwing the trash away was.
Co-sign on
??? left lane riders
??? cutter-offers
??? cig butt litterers
??? handicap spot hijackers and fat loads who have the placard but probably didn't really need it
Will add:
??? lazy bums who push the handicap door button cos they're too good to lift their arm up and open the regular one
??? motherfuckers who have x-ray vision and see right through motorcycles like they aren't even there
I post this every year but.....
People who beat up their cigarette packs after they buy them.
You saw some cool cat do it in a movie because IN THOSE DAYS WOODBINES HAD NO FILTERS AND YOU HAD TO KNOCK THE LOOSE BACCY OUT THE END SO IT WOULD NOT END UP IN YOUR MOUTH.
I post this every year but.....
People who beat up their cigarette packs after they buy them.
You saw some cool cat do it in a movie because IN THOSE DAYS WOODBINES HAD NO FILTERS AND YOU HAD TO KNOCK THE LOOSE BACCY OUT THE END SO IT WOULD NOT END UP IN YOUR MOUTH.
Hipster.
You serious? I???and every other smoker I've ever known???packed my cigarettes ever since I started smoking in 1992. I always understood that it was to tighten the tobacco a bit so they smoked more evenly. WAS I LIVING A LIE?
I post this every year but.....
People who beat up their cigarette packs after they buy them.
You saw some cool cat do it in a movie because IN THOSE DAYS WOODBINES HAD NO FILTERS AND YOU HAD TO KNOCK THE LOOSE BACCY OUT THE END SO IT WOULD NOT END UP IN YOUR MOUTH.
Hipster.
You serious? I, and every other smoker I've ever known, have packed their cigarettes ever since I started smoking in 1992. I always understood that it was to tighten the tobacco a bit so they smoked more evenly. HAVE I BEEN LIVING A LIE?
I post this every year but.....
People who beat up their cigarette packs after they buy them.
You saw some cool cat do it in a movie because IN THOSE DAYS WOODBINES HAD NO FILTERS AND YOU HAD TO KNOCK THE LOOSE BACCY OUT THE END SO IT WOULD NOT END UP IN YOUR MOUTH.
Hipster.
You serious? I, and every other smoker I've ever known, have packed their cigarettes ever since I started smoking in 1992. I always understood that it was to tighten the tobacco a bit so they smoked more evenly. HAVE I BEEN LIVING A LIE?
Grown men chewing gum with a slack jaw on public transport. I've already conceded defeat to your superior masculinity due to your gonads-as-big-as-watermelons wide stance you've decided to take on the seat opposite me so there's really no need for you to sit there chewing gum like you're motherfucking Trap Jaw from He-Man. Kids/Teens get a pass because it comes with the age and I'm not an unnecessarily violent man but when it's a 30-40 year old suited guy doing it opposite me for an hour at a time I'm fighting the urge to wire that trap shut.
Open drinks on public transit. I move away, but when it's crowded - and even more unbelievable people would be so stupid to carry it on then - you don't always have to space to.
I will LOSE MY SHIT if ONE DROP of your coffee, tea, apple juice, vitamin water, milk, wheatgrass or purple juice gets on me or my clothes.
People who hold up the post office line just to mail an envelope. You need someone to walk you through how to address a package? Really?
I always have extra customs forms on hand just in case I need to send something international.
And folks who have old mailing labels stuck on their recycled packaging or have their labels barely taped on and then harass the clerks about it. I've seen postal employees fixing up crappy packages on multiple occasions.
Last night I'm hanging out with two friends who are Djing on a bar patio. I'm having my 7-up with a splash of bitters and taking records with the Dj when a girl walks up and asks if she can, "freak out."
My friend says, "okay."
So she start freaking out, tattooed limbs moving around and no big deal. Then she starts looking at me and doing dances that have names like the cooking dance (acting like she is cooking), the shopping cart, the sprinkle head and so on. I'm impressed so I say, "what about the lawn mower?" Then, she looks at me over her shoulder and drunkenly says, "what about the woman and mann lawn mowerrr" as she starts moving my way. At which point I pick up the bar stool between us, angle it at her, and say, "what about the lionn tamerrr!"
And we all laughed together.
Damn this is funny as hell!!
I'll add something that is is annoying and sick. People that piss on the train during rush hour!!
When there is a middle turn lane, like only to be used for turning, and people put their blinker on and angle into the turn lane, half in traffic half in turn lane and just wait for their turn to go. You pull into it. It's a special lane just fr that very purpose.
dudes that don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom..
get over it
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; Handjob: 20.00."
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am."
The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
People who take their ipads to the cinema on a Sat-dee night and sit in front of me, surfing while the movie is on, and ruining the 3D effect that I paid so handsomely for.
People who take their ipads to the cinema on a Sat-dee night and sit in front of me, surfing while the movie is on, and ruining the 3D effect that I paid so handsomely for.
Avatar 3D was alright, if not a bit pop-up book. This was John Carter and the 3D was better, landscapes were sufficiently epic. It's good for a night out; beers, food, flick and then there was still time to get a few beers in after, but I'd not bother watching it at home.
Comments
Look, I'm sorry that your parents heaped abuse on you, or whatever your story is. That shit wasn't fair...[robinwilliams] it's not your fault, son [/robinwilliams]. But don't inflict the pain/isolation/whatevs you're feeling on the rest of us. Just get away from your keyboard, and step outside for some sun...maybe make some friends and meet a girl. You're bound to lose your virginity sooner or later, or at least experience kissing a girl for the first time. But not if you keep on the angry hikikomori steez!
Kindly,
parallax
...wait didn't we already discuss this before
Name of the Rose did make me think twice about it, but I still lick when needed.
DOPE!!!
You really showed him
??? left lane riders
??? cutter-offers
??? cig butt litterers
??? handicap spot hijackers and fat loads who have the placard but probably didn't really need it
Will add:
??? lazy bums who push the handicap door button cos they're too good to lift their arm up and open the regular one
??? motherfuckers who have x-ray vision and see right through motorcycles like they aren't even there
I would never do that. But I do from time to time enjoy the spaciousness of the big stall when droppin' a hot one.
People who beat up their cigarette packs after they buy them.
You saw some cool cat do it in a movie because IN THOSE DAYS WOODBINES HAD NO FILTERS AND YOU HAD TO KNOCK THE LOOSE BACCY OUT THE END SO IT WOULD NOT END UP IN YOUR MOUTH.
Hipster.
You serious? I???and every other smoker I've ever known???packed my cigarettes ever since I started smoking in 1992. I always understood that it was to tighten the tobacco a bit so they smoked more evenly. WAS I LIVING A LIE?
Hipster
I edited my post for grammatical accuracy.
b/w
I quit awhile back. Before it was cool to quit.
I will LOSE MY SHIT if ONE DROP of your coffee, tea, apple juice, vitamin water, milk, wheatgrass or purple juice gets on me or my clothes.
I always have extra customs forms on hand just in case I need to send something international.
And folks who have old mailing labels stuck on their recycled packaging or have their labels barely taped on and then harass the clerks about it. I've seen postal employees fixing up crappy packages on multiple occasions.
Damn this is funny as hell!!
I'll add something that is is annoying and sick. People that piss on the train during rush hour!!
I have a good friend who does this and I need to tell him to stop.
People who don't understand 4 way stops.
get over it
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; Handjob: 20.00."
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am."
The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
Has there actually been a good 3D film made yet?
Bird 7/10
Elbows?