TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Paul said:
    ROOONEY!

    Can Skel explain the difference between salt-of-the-earth hooligans smashing the place up and these left-leaning idiots.

    The main difference is that your hooligans say they're going for a ruck with (insert name of claret and blue cowards football team here) and go and do it.
    Your anarcho dudes tag themselves onto a student fees demo when they patently aren't students, and if they were, would clearly have no problem in meeting any tuition fees from dey trust fund, cashing in on Papar's ??2.5m surrey stockbroker belt pad when he does the mortal coil shuffle, or taking that sinecure as finance director at Uncle Toby's vintage wine dealership.

    Actually Paul, I believe these anarchos lean neither left nor right. At least I didn't when I went through the same phase for about 3 weeks back in 1979.

    As for the students, well it will be a nice dinner party conversation piece in 20 years time for the Clarissas and Tarquins who attended.
    By the way, someone be a good chap and remind us which fucking bastard Tory cunties introduced these damned tuition fees. I'll get round there and string them toffee-nosed bastards up by the balls. BY THE BALLS I TELLS YA!!1!11!!
    Ah. Just looked it up on google. It was Labour.


    It's been said already, but all youngins should take part in a demo if not a full riot at some point. Rites of passage, innit?

    Vorderman: one Botox jab away from turning into a Cher atrocity. Don't do it, Carol. Boner softening style, but the memory of better days may still stir a man to walk the Duder-approved stroll of shame to teh disabled toilet.

    I thought I told you dudes, Jimster's stellar skin owes no bended knee to mundane creams or slabs of cucumber pon dem eye - jim does not ride for that most pointless of veg - but rests squarely on the religious adherence to gluten-free ginseng and passion fruit tea. You must deal.

    Now: knowing you dudes like the mash up, please put me in touch with a service that can seamlessly meld any two songs of my choice. I will even pay a small fee.

    I'd like to propose as follows:
    Miles Davis vs ELO - Mr Kind of Blue Sky

    Donald Byrd vs Sun Ra - Places and Spaces the Place

    Duder, you're good at this stuff. Please make it so.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    skel said:
    I thought I told you dudes, Jimster's stellar skin owes no bended knee to mundane creams or slabs of cucumber pon dem eye - jim does not ride for that most pointless of veg - but rests squarely on the religious adherence to gluten-free ginseng and passion fruit tea. You must deal.

    That, and ginger nuts.

    DEALIO.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I hear it but I don't believe it. Though the Ginger Nuts would certainly explain a few things.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    BRIT NIGHTSHIFT in effect! Speaks volumes for our telly!

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    My kids are watching this Idiot Abroad thing.

    Worst telly I've seen for years.

    Gervais has risen above Bleakley in the hate charts.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Copying mp3s to a new phone. Motherf*cker has to have chewns at work, no? Who else is going to rep Pontius Pilate (and it's faraway Black-Beauty-esque horn stabs) to the heathens?

    Srs doe there is nothing doing. Drink through it. Half a bottle of Cava and 3 Dezzies.



    Next weekend out for me birthday. Curry and yags. Believe.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Stag do tomorrow meant a preplanned night in though my plan didn't involve surfing through the 300 plus channels I rack up debt for each month and finding nothing on. I have now given up and am playing on my phone while Demolition Man is repeated fot the 30th time this month in the background.

    I thought it was now widely accepted that Gervais was a comedic genius and the fact that, since the now badly dated Office, he's made a self pitying ego driven dramady, a couple of appalling movies and spent the rest of the time laughing in a high pitched voice at a stereotype of a working class salt of the earth were all proof he could do no wrong.

  • Gervais has gone full circle.
    I remember seeing him on some late show on Ch4 in the 90's where he was painfully unfunny without attempting to be that way.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Flanimals. When you turned the pages, you could hear the sound of the shark being jumped.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    badder_than_evil said:
    Gervais has gone full circle.
    I remember seeing him on some late show on Ch4 in the 90's where he was painfully unfunny without attempting to be that way.

    Yeah the show with Ali G, Iain Lee and Daisy Donovan right? I remember him on that too and it was was like watching someone's career die as he popped up for five minutes made some obvious un pc jokes and the audience sat there uncomfortably waiting for the greasy smirking little man to go away.

  • never have understood the love for gervais.

    his tv output is mawkish and he is a c*nt.

    anyone seen that "phone shop" thing on channel 4? i ride.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    neil_something said:
    that "phone shop" thing

    Yes. Very good. I missed the final episode. I need to track it down pon di hiterweb, pls no spoilers. I signed a 24 month phone contract this week and feel dirty.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Not seen Phone Shop yet but heard good thongs. Rest assured I will discover it about six months after everyone's sick of it.

    Jimster, so pleased you gave up on the Nokia, for all our attempts to pretend different it was a piece of poop really wasn't it.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Junior said:
    Not seen Phone Shop yet but heard good thongs. Rest assured I will discover it about six months after everyone's sick of it.

    Jimster, so pleased you gave up on the Nokia, for all our attempts to pretend different it was a piece of poop really wasn't it.

    Sigh, no edit option when posting from phone. Heard good thongs will have to stay...

  • Junior said:
    badder_than_evil said:
    Gervais has gone full circle.
    I remember seeing him on some late show on Ch4 in the 90's where he was painfully unfunny without attempting to be that way.

    Yeah the show with Ali G, Iain Lee and Daisy Donovan right? I remember him on that too and it was was like watching someone's career die as he popped up for five minutes made some obvious un pc jokes and the audience sat there uncomfortably waiting for the greasy smirking little man to go away.

    11 o clock show that's it.

    Surprised someone else has the same opinion - expected some hate. Maybe he took that experience and turned it into David Brent.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Junior said:
    Nokia

    Nah, I is still reppin dem Finns. 5800, x6 now n8. I take nuff pics innit so iPhone pinhole ting no good.

    Just watched last episode of Phone Shop.

    VG.


  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    Fuck me, that was quick.

  • Phone Shop is awful.

    I work at a university and they told us there will be 30% job cuts so i'm expecting to be on the strut a lot more soon enough.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Good to see that Danny Dyer is still killing it on the ones & twos!

    Anybody help me with this rendition of Lloyd-Webber's Jesus Christ Super Star? I remember a couple of lines from my school days that began:

    Jesus Christ,
    Super Star
    Came down from heaven in a motor car,
    pulled a skid,
    killed a kid,
    ..........................................?


    Answers on a postcard please.

    Sunderland weren't lucky against Chelsea, they had 'em. Can Chelski be missing Lampard, or was Ray Wilkins popular? Strange result, but great goals - Citeh should've kept hold of Nedem Onohua (sp?).
    Manure continue to scrape results. Villa should've been 4 up. But this from Ferg is classic: "We were running high on emotion at the end ??? the match was boiling up a bit and the referee let a few things go. Sometimes that can make a great game and we saw a great game today. Another five minutes and we'd have won." Fergie-time and a host of bullshit calls saved your arse against Villa two seasons ago - I expect he was yammering at the fourth official to pile on the minutes.


    Looking forward to the derby.

  • The Harlow version was -

    "And paralysed his balls on a dustbin lid"

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Yeah I think our version was the same as Harlow's though Car was replaced with Yamaha.There was also another version but all I remember is that it managed to rhyme Hello with Manilow.

    Great weekend of results for L'Arse. Would have to say that they were somewhat lucky as well no? If Everton remembered how to put chances away in the first half could have been quite a different result.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    Arsenal were poor, but Everton were really poor. They never really looked like scoring and didn't really turn up till the last 10 mins of the game. Watching the MOTD highlights was like a whole different game.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    badder_than_evil said:
    The Harlow version was -

    "And paralysed his balls on a dustbin lid"

    Our local Manc experience was:

    Georgie Best
    Superstar
    Looks like a woman and he wears a bra
    [childish giggling].

    This was after Bestie had left Un*ted of course.

  • Ours was

    Jesus Christ
    Superstar
    Came down from heaven on a Yamaha
    Pulled a skid
    Killed a kid
    Crashed into a dustbin lid

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    djwaxon said:
    Ours was

    Jesus Christ
    Superstar
    Came down from heaven on a Yamaha
    Pulled a skid
    Killed a kid
    Crashed into a dustbin lid

    Followed by a long pause and then an Alan Partridge "A-ha"???

    Alright, here's another one I don't fully recall:


    In days of old
    When knights were bold
    and women weren't invented


    something something something

    men used holes in telegraph poles,
    and had to be contented
    .

  • asstroasstro 1,754 Posts
    djwaxon said:
    Ours was

    Jesus Christ
    Superstar
    Came down from heaven on a Yamaha
    Pulled a skid
    Killed a kid
    Crashed into a dustbin lid

    The version we had in NYC was:

    Jesus Christ
    Superstar
    Doing 98 on a Yamaha
    The cops were there
    He don't care
    He's wearing bulletproof underwear

    Even in the 70's, we was keepin' it really real...

  • Reading back through this I have to change the Harlow version.

    It was -

    "Pulled a skid, hit a Flid(Thalid)"

    Nice kids..What'you know about C#### C#### C#### m##??

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    badder_than_evil said:

    Nice kids..What'you know about??

    XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX man went to milk a cow,
    XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX man didn't know how,
    XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX man pulled the wrong tit,
    XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX man got covered in shit
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