TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Okem said:
    Junior said:
    I feel this thread is entering a territory that I am not yet ready to explore.

    I have little to no idea whats going on in here anymore & what's a LinkedIn.. is it like facebok for upwardly mobile types?
    If the internet is a game then I'm definitely loosing. Although, I would like it noted that I wasn't clear on the rules and didn't know we'd actually started playing. Can we just reset and everybody starts again?

    I does has a facebook tho, Marc Okem, with a mighty 4 (make that 5, ah-yeh) friends, I presume J.J is you Jim? You're all welcome to friend me on there, but I dont use it. An old flatmate moved back to America and it seemed like a good way to keep in contact but I can't be bothered with it.

    I'd like to fake indignation about your lack of knowledge here Ma*c but you're probably better off out of it. LinkedIn is a useful device to help you feel like you're progressing in your career without really achieving squat (though I did get a personalised email yesterday from a recruitment agency who had obviously targeted me so carefully they wrote the first line twice - this is the moment my friends).

    I detest Facebook with a passion and therefore regularly spend time browsing it on my phone hating everyone in my news feed. It's a useful reminder that all those people I've lost regular contact with and have been thinking of catching up with are better left alone. Place is basically the equivalent of late nineties email chain letters these days (those fucking meme photo shares) with the occasional nugget of how happy/miserable/bored someone is with itv programmes.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    You miserable bunch of cunts.

    A*i, fancy a couple jars tonight?

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Okem said:
    J.J is you Jim?

    Indeed. One can never have too many hookups in my line of work, esp. as I am self-employed and looking to get into project management (however you interpret that game). I will be posting a lightly-modified version of that Korean plea shortly, then it's the pan-handle :ayo:, then it's the cardboard box.

    In short, I hope it comes in useful. St*ve seems to be surfing the Linkness like The Colossus of Rhodes astride the Ark Royal. I empathise with St*ve vis-a-vis the hardship of mining fb gold from the detritus of barely-literate-stream-of-consciousness-bunny-boiler-banter, but I have those types on ignore, until a very rainy day comes, or a Zombie Apocalypse. My brother finds it's also useful for keeping tabs on #1 Daughter...

    Of course there's my Ponzi income but that is like, filed away next to the "Zombie Apocalypse" plan. The scheme must remain in place, even if it's just so I can use the line "Cool like Fonzie, scheme like a Ponzi???".

    :balla:

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    The anti-social network.

    The closest I've come to a career is a string of dead end jobs and a decade working for a charity that teaches 'the arts' to city yout and disabled kids. So unless LinkedIn connections are looking for recommendations on this seasons room shoe or fun ways to teach break dancing to blind kids, followed by a powerpoint on how to live on minimum wage whilst paying off the student loan from your art degree, then.. Go ahead on Mr. Business man, you can't dress like me.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    ^^^^^^^^
    GETS THAT CARAVAN PARK PAPER, SON

    Al*, crickets? Plaese to chirp?

    Bah. Under the thumb, no doubt.

    Anyone else up for a few beers tonight?
    Holler. I've got a thirst you could photograph.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Liver still feeling the effects of last time

    b/w

    Probably going to see Leon Ware tomorrow, travel funding eaten up by moving the Monster Truck oop North. Trying to blag the guest list, see if my Manc privs have expired.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Bollocks, been in a company update all afternoon (three hours of reporting that the company's still fucked utilising every known type of chart software) and legged it when the free booze started loosening the tongue too much. Now on train home feeling cheap and used.

    Up for long or short notice drinks though so give me a shout if you're free another night or I will holla?

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Holler, tied up all next week but getting free after that

    WILL MAIL WITH OFFERS

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    skel said:
    NGGYU: that's my shit right there. No joke.

    Was invited to the after-party of a RA gig this weekend. True story. I would have loved the image of RA in front of a laptop giving the above the thumbs up. It would have been better than Salma Hayek, in all ways except the tits.

    Couple of factors mitigated it:
    Mellow-harshing journey across town
    Leaving Leon Ware band behind and missing out on comedy Herbie Hancock anecdotes
    RA NOT BEING THERE AS IT WAS DA WEE SMORL HOWARS.

    Next time, St*ve.

    Next time.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    YOLO Jimster and: failed

    WMIC

  • skel said:


    Anyone else up for a few beers tonight?
    Holler. I've got a thirst you could photograph.

    Do you gamble?

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Life's a gamble, GT.

    And the biggest losing bet in life; never taking a risk.

    Occasionally I get a sure fire hunch.
    Last one: Alex Reid to win Celeb Big Bro.
    Twenty quid at 20-1.
    Wish I'd put a g on it.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    In light of how the Catholic Church seems oddly content to exist in a perpetual state of PR chaos, lurching from one disaster to another like an ecumenical Miranda Hart, I'm trying to think what on earth could possibly be happening behind the scenes to justify the resignation of the Pontiff, and frankly I'm coming up dry. A couple of months earlier, and everyone would have said, "Celebrity Big Brother!" Now? Who knows...

    Since Real Madrid's La Liga campaign is all but over, I'm sorely tempted to stick a fiver on The Holy See to appoint Mourinho as an interim Pope until Easter's out of the way, should they get knocked out by United.

  • I don't say no to anything any more.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    DocMcCoy said:
    ecumenical

    BOOM.

    I need more words like that in my day, to keep man awake.

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,244 Posts
    DocMcCoy said:
    In light of how the Catholic Church seems oddly content to exist in a perpetual state of PR chaos, lurching from one disaster to another like an ecumenical Miranda Hart, I'm trying to think what on earth could possibly be happening behind the scenes to justify the resignation of the Pontiff, and frankly I'm coming up dry. A couple of months earlier, and everyone would have said, "Celebrity Big Brother!" Now? Who knows...

    Since Real Madrid's La Liga campaign is all but over, I'm sorely tempted to stick a fiver on The Holy See to appoint Mourinho as an interim Pope until Easter's out of the way, should they get knocked out by United.

    Wenger should be a shoo-in for the post, what with his similar interests in the youth and all. Eh?

    ok let's not go there. I know it's tasteless and awful to make jokes about Arsene.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Saw on the NY Times Online (of all places) about the social network phenomenon surrounding EPL managers clothing.

    Apparently, Arsene's coat has been likened to a mobile inflatable coffin.

    And indeed, it is.

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,244 Posts
    Wenger's coat would be quite a hit with the hobo demographic.


  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Dudes, help a dude out

    6 LinkedIn to go before 250 by the 15 th, or I have to wine/dine NO 69 the girlies mum.

    I mean, might anyway because the elbows are not unreasonable, but this is all about Teh Win.

    Padilha, VI, DOR, Dutty Dutty, Doc, Neil S
    You got my back, right?
    AMIRIGHT??

    Sheesh. I ain't begging.


    Ok, I'm begging.

    ::

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Yes, benny's down

    WE CAN DO THIS

  • Dun Dun it.

    Unfortunately meant opening my linkedin account, like Howard Carter getting busy in da catacombs.

    I've now spent the last 20 minutes endorsing people for infinite permutations of their roles and responsibilities. MAKE IT STOP.

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,244 Posts
    skel said:
    Dudes, help a dude out

    6 LinkedIn to go before 250 by the 15 th, or I have to wine/dine NO 69 the girlies mum.

    I mean, might anyway because the elbows are not unreasonable, but this is all about Teh Win.

    Padilha, VI, DOR, Dutty Dutty, Doc, Neil S
    You got my back, right?
    AMIRIGHT??

    Sheesh. I ain't begging.


    Ok, I'm begging.

    ::

    pm'ded

    although in truth I'd still like to see you lose the bet, if only for the pics and stories that would follow

  • Skel, have you considered volunteering to drive disable elders to church? It can be difficult for them to find transportation at a reasonable rate. They usually insist on using their own vehicle in case someone runs into the car. That would probably look magnanomous with the "girly" and her mum, too.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    No, FUCK THEM DISABLED YO*

    *I say this as a disabled person myself, do don't dare hatt on me

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Word to padilha

    246, so close, getting the greasy palm clusterfuck gripsweats, go go go, the world is at our motherfuckin' fingertips up in this bith, goddamn

    Exhausted now....

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    GatorToof said:
    Skel, have you considered volunteering to drive disable elders to church? It can be difficult for them to find transportation at a reasonable rate. They usually insist on using their own vehicle in case someone runs into the car. That would probably look magnanomous with the "girly" and her mum, too.

    Touchy subject GT, Skel is banned from being within 100 metres of many of London's places of worship.

    Also, props to Jimster for some excellent generic endorsements! My profile's looking better already. Now all I need to do is find a picture to finish it off. It has to be friendly but not over familiar and offer a professional vibe without looking like it was snapped for a security badge.

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,244 Posts
    Junior said:
    Also, props to Jimster for some excellent generic endorsements! My profile's looking better already. Now all I need to do is find a picture to finish it off. It has to be friendly but not over familiar and offer a professional vibe without looking like it was snapped for a security badge.

    "sexy without being vulgar" as they say

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    St*ve, asked Dav* from Abb*y R**d to bless you with a Connect.

    "Right down to the wire,
    Even fru da fiyarrr."

    - Chaka Carne (Jean's sister).

  • Junior said:
    GatorToof said:
    Skel, have you considered volunteering to drive disable elders to church? It can be difficult for them to find transportation at a reasonable rate. They usually insist on using their own vehicle in case someone runs into the car. That would probably look magnanomous with the "girly" and her mum, too.

    Touchy subject GT, Skel is banned from being within 100 metres of many of London's places of worship.


    Srsly?
    I wish I could come out and see you all in London. Yens seem like quite the crew.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Thx Jim

    B/w

    Sup with dudes endorsing me for Corporate Actions n shit.

    I mean, dude even knows what a corporate action is??

    Well I do, and am shit at them.
    So: bravo.
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