My buddy was getting down with a girl much younger than he, (she was like 21 to his 38) and she asked him how old he was right in the middle of the bump and grind. He told her and she says, "Oh my gawd you're only 3 years younger than my dad!"
worst thing I've ever heard from a girl in bed was some inaudible mumbeling that grew louder and louder, I couldn't understand a word. I switched on the light and saw that her whole face was distorted. Took me awhile to figure out that she had just dislocated her jawbone. I was "holy shit, should I call for an ambulance?" she shook her head going "hnnn,hnnn,hnnn" so I just grabed her jaw and snapped it back into place. I was surprised how easy this was to do. She sad it hadn't hurt much and we both started laughing our asses of.
I swear I'm not making this up and neither is this an attempt at bragging about my size which is just about average. I'll never forget her face though... that was some freaky shit.
nice thread. no tuff bed talk for me, but i can remember a nice story. first and only time that i took some acid, i went home with a girl to her appartement. nothing too special about the sex we had, but the next morning i went to the kitchen and her HUSBAND (she didnt tell me she was married, nor that her husband would be in the appartment) was sitting there all like u can only imagine how my brain almost exploded when girlie and her mack started screaming at each other and i ran out of the house. pure poison. never saw her again.
The thing is, I was the one saying it. There was this girl who I was occasional f-buddies with, she had a great body and all but never failed to get on my nerves after a few hours. One night we did the thing-thing and passed out in my bed, and a few hours later I woke up becasue I felt something wet on my leg. Felt around and the bed was soaked, homegirl had pissed the bed in her sleep. I jumped up and shouted the above at her, she sort of groggily rolled off the bed and slept n the floor with a blanket over her. I stripped the bed and went and slept on the couch, pissed the fuck off to the highest of pisstivity.
She washed the sheets and performed other unmentionable favors for me the next day, so in the end it all worked out.
when i dated Dame Darcy, she would say all kinds of fucked up shit in bed becuase she was crazy and she was always starting fights to keep me up all night asking what it was like to fuck my other girl friends and saying shit like that.
Comments
"The LAST guy I slept with was garbage" would be acceptable.
(she was like 21 to his 38) and she asked him how old he was
right in the middle of the bump and grind.
He told her and she says, "Oh my gawd you're only 3 years younger
than my dad!"
Said friend doesn't get with the ladies very often, so nothing short
of an atom bomb was taking the wind out of his sails.
"I just don't want to be alone on Valentine's night"
"I think that blood's coming from you"
icky...
ummmm...I wasn't to pleased when I got this
"No, I don't like it like that way, my ex used to want it that way all of the time"
This the first weekend we hooked up...and also the last.
I swear I'm not making this up and neither is this an attempt at bragging about my size which is just about average. I'll never forget her face though... that was some freaky shit.
she said: shaving aint my style.
crazy Italian B***h
Immediate
I can't think of anything other than "what are you going to do about the headboard you ripped out of the wall?"
Long story.
first and only time that i took some acid, i went home with a girl to her appartement. nothing too special about the sex we had, but the next morning i went to the kitchen and her HUSBAND (she didnt tell me she was married, nor that her husband would be in the appartment) was sitting there all like
u can only imagine how my brain almost exploded when girlie and her mack started screaming at each other and i ran out of the house. pure poison.
never saw her again.
worst thing that comes to mind for me was hearing "no, i dont do,doggie"
say what!???!?!?!!
definitely worst thing ive had to say is "umm,i think it broke"
one girl started crying but told me that it was normal for her during sex
another girl started crying and it ended the activity right there
Words from an old ex stripper g/f in 2004
pathetic retort
The thing is, I was the one saying it. There was this girl who I was occasional f-buddies with, she had a great body and all but never failed to get on my nerves after a few hours. One night we did the thing-thing and passed out in my bed, and a few hours later I woke up becasue I felt something wet on my leg. Felt around and the bed was soaked, homegirl had pissed the bed in her sleep. I jumped up and shouted the above at her, she sort of groggily rolled off the bed and slept n the floor with a blanket over her. I stripped the bed and went and slept on the couch, pissed the fuck off to the highest of pisstivity.
She washed the sheets and performed other unmentionable favors for me the next day, so in the end it all worked out.
Calculated move to avoid being labeled as a prude while still not having to give anal. Well played.
"we are not having sex!"
Oh, it's possible all right ... quite possible ...
LOL - Whoa!
Who are you?