All-time classic: Homer going to the Post Office pretending to be Mr. Burns.
HOMER: Hello, I am Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
CLERK: OK, Mr. Burns. What's you first name?
HOMER: I don't know.
I use Homer's pronunciation of "I don't know" all the time.
Also:
"Oooooh, look at me, Marge, I???m making people happy! I???m the magical man from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! By the way I was being sarcastic!"
All-time classic: Homer going to the Post Office pretending to be Mr. Burns.
HOMER: Hello, I am Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
CLERK: OK, Mr. Burns. What's you first name?
HOMER: I don't know.
I use Homer's pronunciation of "I don't know" all the time.
Also:
"Oooooh, look at me, Marge, I???m making people happy! I???m the magical man from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! By the way I was being sarcastic!"
which comes right after..."yes, with ecah bite they get closer to the poisoned donut! Smithers, there is a poisoned donut?" "no the lawyers said it would be illegal"
I use variations of this one all the time with my wife.
"Tell you what - you come with me to an NRA meeting, and if you still don't think guns are great, we'll argue some more."
That episode is filled to the brim with amazing quotes.
"Guns aren't toys. They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face."
"Lisa, if I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around. Do you want that? Huh? Do ya?"
CLERK: Sorry, the law requires a five-day waiting period. We've got to run a background check.
HOMER: Five days? But I'm mad now!
[clerk takes gun from Homer]
HOMER: I'd kill you if I had my gun.
CLERK: Yeah, well, you don't.
Another frequently-used quote I bust out whenever folks start getting holier-than-thou about the purity of their diet: "I'm a fifth-level vegan: I don't eat anything that casts a shadow."
anyone remember what homer says when they catch the senior citizen burglar?
I don't, but I do remember this exchange:
KENT BROCKMAN: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
HOMER: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.
KENT BROCKMAN: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
HOMER: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
KENT BROCKMAN: [pause] Well, touch??.
One of the better new episodes is the one where Bart makes friends with a muslim kid. When the bullies catch up with them, they fire this zinger:
"You're the reason I can't take toothpaste on a plane!"
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Horseleech said:
:five_pager:
Still perfectly cromulent.
We can't pass up the record related quotes, I say this sometimes while cruising my LP shelves:
"We don't have anything in common.
Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, the Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records! They stink!"
anyone remember what homer says when they catch the senior citizen burglar?
I don't, but I do remember this exchange:
KENT BROCKMAN: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
HOMER: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.
KENT BROCKMAN: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
HOMER: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
KENT BROCKMAN: [pause] Well, touch??.
ohmyfuckin god that shit was gold. that was a great episode
the homer quote i was looking for was something like "it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person trying to catch it" and the burglar goes "how ironic"
Comments
"once."
MOE: You can flash-fry a buffalo in 40 seconds.
HOMER: Forty seconds? But I want it now!
"Yes, Moe. I'm going to dig up the corpses."
"Look Lisa, I don't like you and you don't like me."
"I like you, Moe!"
"Really? Here, have a towelette."
HOMER: Hello, I am Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
CLERK: OK, Mr. Burns. What's you first name?
HOMER: I don't know.
I use Homer's pronunciation of "I don't know" all the time.
Also:
"Oooooh, look at me, Marge, I???m making people happy! I???m the magical man from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! By the way I was being sarcastic!"
Then I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes!
hell yes
oh man, that was one of my favorite scenes ever
"whats that? you want me to drink you????"
is that on hulu?
"Curse their oily hides!!!"
which comes right after..."yes, with ecah bite they get closer to the poisoned donut! Smithers, there is a poisoned donut?" "no the lawyers said it would be illegal"
When he says goodbye and strutts away it cracks me up..
Bart: "I never thought it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows."
the french bowling instructor was funny as shit too
"throw , damn you"
"Tell you what - you come with me to an NRA meeting, and if you still don't think guns are great, we'll argue some more."
BTW how crappy is South Park now??
Maybe one good episode in a season??
That episode is filled to the brim with amazing quotes.
"Guns aren't toys. They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face."
"Lisa, if I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around. Do you want that? Huh? Do ya?"
CLERK: Sorry, the law requires a five-day waiting period. We've got to run a background check.
HOMER: Five days? But I'm mad now!
[clerk takes gun from Homer]
HOMER: I'd kill you if I had my gun.
CLERK: Yeah, well, you don't.
Another frequently-used quote I bust out whenever folks start getting holier-than-thou about the purity of their diet: "I'm a fifth-level vegan: I don't eat anything that casts a shadow."
"he was a zombie?"
I'd hate living on Nahassapeemapetalan street - People sending stuff to me would never get the adress right.
"Yup. When youre 18, youre out of the house."
Seriously. Hell, you can't even spell address.
I don't, but I do remember this exchange:
KENT BROCKMAN: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
HOMER: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.
KENT BROCKMAN: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
HOMER: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
KENT BROCKMAN: [pause] Well, touch??.
"You're the reason I can't take toothpaste on a plane!"
We can't pass up the record related quotes, I say this sometimes while cruising my LP shelves:
"We don't have anything in common.
Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, the Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records! They stink!"
Don't hate the Sayer, hate the game:
ohmyfuckin god that shit was gold. that was a great episode
the homer quote i was looking for was something like "it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person trying to catch it" and the burglar goes "how ironic"
notice how 90% of the quotes AREN'T from the last 10 years, sad. Haven't watched it in about that long.