TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    skel said:
    Maybe aim north as well, Canada.
    He certainly has the wardrobe for it.

    ::brrrreaface::

    Cheeky fokker! That shirt and I have been through a lot together (including the elbow on one of the arms). I may retire it as part of my new look that involves wearing clothes that actually fit instead of the grunge-madchester '90s thing.

    Neil - I went to Benidorm. Felt a burning sense of shame to be English for the first few days. The people that go there seem to be the type to give Brits abroad a bad name. The entertainment at the clubs was straight out of Pheonix Nights, but the jokes were more racist. The idea that an entire Spanish resort town can bend over backwards to try make the English feel like they're still at home is indeed ridiculous. But underneath all of that, I met lots of friendly people, got very drunk, had a great time. I spoke to as many locals as possible, and diplomatically tried to gauge their feelings about the invasion of Brits, and I heard very little negative comments. They accepted that the English were there, and that the entire economy was based around this. They took pride in the place too - the beach was immaculate and they kept the streets as clean as possible. If you ever made it along the beach to the old town, it felt like Spain.
    Having said all of this, not sure I'd hurry back :lol:

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Spainland. I like it.

    Did Marbella, Puerto Banus and Puerto Cabopino a few years back for the wife's birthday. Proper Euromang, AMG Merc SL, nice yacht and plastic-surgery-wife haunts, but generally free of the more publicly vulgar UK sort. Pretty reasonable prices, given what they'd be charging over here. Lots of nice cleavages and cars on show, so I was happy. The only bother we had was from one apartment populated by 2 late-teens lads and their pre-teen brother who were always smoking weed and drunk (all of them). No parents in sight the whole time. WTF?

    They were gobbing off to my niece and egged the hire car we had whilst we were out at the local beach. We came back to find the eggs and shell fragments baked on by the sun. They were all some kind of TOWIE savverners innit. Probably the offspring of some ex-pat armed robber who was schmoozing Russian mafioso down the coast and wanted rid of the brats for a while. I spent an afternoon trying to T-Cut the shit out, gave up (the eggshell had proper f*cked it) and made sure we returned the car mad dusty. Man ticked the box and [Spacey]Like >>that, we were gone[/Spacey].

    Ibiza a much better look for us. Talamanca/Marina Botafoch way. No car required. Ruud Guilty was a regular at the local caff last time. We lolled at Newcastle going down. Also spotted Schevchenko and some underachieving Spurs midfielder down the night market, David whatever, the one who never gets a kick. And that bloke with the dreadfro from CSI who was knobbing Danni Minogue and got sacked for falling asleep in a car full of drugs.

    Never done the clubbing thing, it's not something I am ever going to feel part of. I am there for the Mojitos and coconut ice cream. The bars have much better vibes, and the kids get 'nuff free lollipops.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I'll just leave this here.


  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Any of you dudes know what's what on a winter-sun jaunt to Spain?

    Can I sit outside a cafe in Dec/jan, sip a cup of chino and read an intellectual book?
    T-shirt, hoodie or full arctic parka?

    Double fancy it this year.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    I like Pollensa on the island of Majorca. Pretty little town. There's a great railway journey you can take, and the capital Palma is worth a visit, but don't wear beach attire - got sniffy looks from the loafers w/ sunglasses-at-night brigade. No idea what the climate is like at this time of year, check the t'internet for temps maybe.

    I'd like to visit Cadiz down south. Very strong Moorish influence to the architecture (and culture no doubt), and probably a lot warmer at this time of year.

  • My Dad was working in Cadiz for most of March, but I haven't seen him properly to ask him what's what...

    I managed to get a couple of mornings in Altea seafront and old town, and in the mountains around Guadalest. It's a really, really beautiful area but it left me feeling nothing but bitterness towards all the cyclists I saw; I would have loved to spent a few days trying some of those climbs rather than trying to avoid street brawls, stag parties and vomit.

    Here's what it looked like:

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    skel said:
    Any of you dudes know what's what on a winter-sun jaunt to Spain?

    Can I sit outside a cafe in Dec/jan, sip a cup of chino and read an intellectual book?
    T-shirt, hoodie or full arctic parka?

    Double fancy it this year.

    I think at that time of year you're best of down the Canary Islands. Not been mesel, doe.

    Harsk The Bank to send you to India for a fortnight on some whimsical ruse?

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    neil_something said:
    Cadiz

    Spent a day there prior to crossing over to Gibraltar, which you can drive across to from Cadiz via the runway.

    It was pretty industrial to be honest, there are a lot of police jeeps, port traffic and official customs activities going on down the waterfront - not so much crepes and cappucinos, more crates and crappy chinos. Not at all touristy, although we had a wander in the evening and found a pizza joint etc. like you would in a normal Briddish town centre. At breakfast we were joined by about 50 armed police in the restaurant. Not the time or place to stand up drunk and sing footy songs. Kind of like an international Hull, with nice weather.

    Terife is just along the coast, geography makes it one of the windiest spots around so great for kitesurfing and such if that is your bag. Not a sunbathing spot, more a wetsuit beach. There is always some world whatever surfing competition going on at the weekends and the twisting drive down from Seville to Cadiz/Terife through the windfarms is stunning - the kind of roads you'd love to cane a Caterham down.

    Seville is a lot nicer. I speak of oranges growing on the avenues, and much more photogenic architecture. Tapas 4 DAYZ. Gibraltar like a Brit seaside town with monkeys on the hill. It's all Colonel, Clown and King fodder and "BRIT" pubs. You know the steez.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Junior said:
    I'll just leave this here.


    I love this. You can almost smell the chisel.

    I've been in Berlin a year today. Alles ist gut.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Gib is claustrophobic.
    Seville beautiful but way too hot.
    Ronda was my shit.

    Canaries? Pfft, lumps of volcanic rock and soulless suburbia IMHO.

    But still >>>>>> Malta.

  • skel said:
    Gib is claustrophobic.
    Seville beautiful but way too hot.
    Ronda was my shit.

    Canaries? Pfft, lumps of volcanic rock and soulless suburbia IMHO.

    But still >>>>>> Malta.

    Ha! The friend who dragged me to Benidorm is off to Malta in a couple of months... he'll probably love it.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Leo where are you son
    We are 4 pints in and flying

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Ali ppst something mate

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    I have promised to reveal some pm madness for Ali on an anonymous basis on a name that SS dude in one tip

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    SHIT GOING DOWN. LOOK WHAT WE BRING TO THE TABLE.

    Leo we can't hold this seat for you much longer, let us know when you're getting here.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Just debating whether to post shit in the mobb depp thread

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Decided: we need shears bsck, I need a cd of his beats assp

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Question: Why is is that the Brits are still the game changers on recognising and highlighting great new American music?


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    ^^^ UNREADY FOR THIS JELLY

    b/w

    4-0.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    I am caned
    San Miguel is good shit

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Junior said:
    Question: Why is is that the Brits are still the game changers on recognising and highlighting great new American music?

    When A*i starts stirring I know he must be drunk :lol: :beer: :beerbang: . Sorry I couldn't make it, about to settle down to MOTD.


    Up the Wigan!

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    SportCasual said:

    This is the kind of slander that does no one any good. Surely it's well known by now that the actual post eton adjusted figure is actually 3 homosexuals per seven males?

    Are titles still purchasable on the strut? If so I'd like to buy Skel the lIfestyle guru one. The man is like the non demonic version of Jeremy Kyle. Good times tonight with the main man despite Leo no show and the evils of foreign lagers.

    Be warned, we are organising the ultimate Brit meet up. Mid country. Hotel stays. Be there or, um, be not. Would be lovely to put names to faces though. Understand those who are hesitant but some of us are alright, honestly. Some of us aren't but them's the odds.

    It's a frightening and slightly creepy thing converting a forum to real life but what have you got to lose apart from your credibility and a little bit of your sanity?

  • Duderonomy said:
    I like Pollensa on the island of Majorca.

    Sorry for butting in..
    Heading to Pollensa end of next month for a fortnight.. Cheap being pre bank holiday..
    Any recommends for local food and photography locations? Separately that is......

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Yay, dutty Babylon in the house.
    Wensleydale!

    Apologies for druncle posting. Beer and Internet access not a good combination.
    Somewhat the worse this morning.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I hope this doesn't mean that the post anonymous PMs thread is no longer happening. I could do with sitting back and watching butthurt develop on the internet today to help soothe the pain residing behind my tired and bloodshot eyes.
    I've shared my death breath with a couple of unfortunate co workers this morning already and watched the look of confusion and disgust spread across their face so hopefully I can be left in my private torment for the rest of the day. Would therefore be grateful for any amusing links to internet places to help fill in the next 8 or so hours until I can go home.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Christ just read back what I've posted and it makes my head hurt, I can feel the breakdown between my brain and the keyboard. Now my nose has started running, this is not going well.

    Deadly serious about the idea of a big meet up though, I understand all too well why people might not be up for it but it would be a swell thing to do. San Miguel would be banned though.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    DuttyBabylon said:
    Duderonomy said:
    I like Pollensa on the island of Majorca.

    Sorry for butting in..
    Heading to Pollensa end of next month for a fortnight.. Cheap being pre bank holiday..
    Any recommends for local food and photography locations? Separately that is......

    Firstly - there's no butting necessary, despite the name of the thread, everyone is welcome to chime in :beerbang:

    Head down to the beach in Pollensa, and there???s a single pier thing for mooring expensive yachts. On the road next to it is the tourist information centre (a small hut!). From here you can catch a bus for a ride along the coast and up the side of some very steep hills with fantastic views??? bus journey is to another smaller resort, takes about 20 minutes, get there, grab some sun and an ice cream. The tourist info centre will also have info on the picturesque rail journey that you???ll want to take (think it???s still steam?).
    Food in Pollensa: on the beach, facing the sea, we turned left and walked along the promenade for about twenty mins and found a lovely French restaurant off the beaten track, right on the beach. Did amazing mussels, big portions for all courses. Don???t know if that one is still operational, but there are plenty of good places to eat, and, ahem, should you so desire, you can find somewhere that does Anglias. The little town square has some nice bars with the tappas combo, but the bars with an international theme charge more for drinks, so I???d advise to sticking with the Spanish bars and local beer for best value. As already said, a trip to Palma is recommended. Beautiful city, has a castle, interesting shops, cafes and restaurants. We also went to a neighbouring town with a monastery up a hill, but the name escapes me.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts

    Atlético Madrid 1 Madrid 4 by jordixana

    Ronaldo hits the ball so hard he gets more top-spin than any player I've seen.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Soberly decided not to post pm madness as dudes will catch feelings and it is not the Right Thing To Do.

    Anyways you already read them.

    Leo dropping mad knowledge for dutty.

    I'm definitely up for a night out, maybe get the ho-tel mo-tel thing going, somewhere in the country, do it proper.
    West country massive stand up. Our friends in the north, represent.
    South coast contingent, be there. Welsh Wales, you too,
    Caravan posse in Kent: how many does your van sleep?
    We're turning up en masse son.
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