OK, I see nobody has the balls to talk about this, so I'll do it. Let's talk about those zeppelin terds. The ones you just stand still looking at them in disbelief. The ones that won't go away after 4 o 5 flushings. The ones that need to remain underwater for an hour before soften up and leave for good. Share you pain, people. We have all been there.
that happened to me the other night...
any terds bigger than 12 inches are known as a trophy shits..
any terds bigger than 12 inches are known as a trophy shits..
My friend took a trophy shit one time. he called everyone in the bathroom to admire it. It was huge, curled around a few times. then someone noticed there was no tp in there with it!!!
any terds bigger than 12 inches are known as a trophy shits..
My friend took a trophy shit one time. he called everyone in the bathroom to admire it. It was huge, curled around a few times. then someone noticed there was no tp in there with it!!!
but the lone stall did not have a door!! so in the middle of a gang of drunks peeing everywhere, my buddy is sitting on this nasty ass toilet for all to see.
NAGL!
wtf is up with places like this? i've been to a few spots that do it up like this and i absolutely do not get it. i was at a bar that had one mens room, with a door that didn't lock, and it had a urinal and a toilet... next to each other without any dividers. ??????? what? when i'm shitting i do not want a dude pissing over my shoulder. who the fuck builds a place like that.
i dont know about you guys but the first time i went to Cincinatti was the first time i experienced a urinal trough...
who pisses with no dividers?
people standing side by side holding their junk
it boggles my mind
Once I went to the bathroom with my (ex) girlfriend's father. When we arrived, we discovered, to our horror, that there were no urinals, only a trough. THAT SUCKED. So, we both whipped out our wangs, and I can't help but thinking, "Yep, this is the cock that I fuck your daughter with, just in case you were wondering." I had a good case of stage fright. He actually was really cool and just started talking to me about something very random, and then the pee started to flow. What a guy!
Is it true about Bill Cosby collectin other girls scoots after doing them and keeping them in jars as a trophy?
Chuck Berry's been known to VIDEOTAPE women squatting on the toilet, but I dunno about Cosby...
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Man I just saw what your subject was
I thought nothing could compete with the sharting[/b] thread but I was wrong
"Sharting?"
I think this may be what Day is referring to:
From the personal log of yours truly, August 2004
I SHARTED.
Yep. This morning. On the train coming to work, I let what I thought was nothing but mere morning "Solid" gas, but actually turned out to be liquid, out of my anus. It wasn't that much, I thought, but I said to myself, I should really check out the situation when I get to work. I got out of the train and started walking to work, when another supposedly dry but actually wet shart emerged. I went straight to the men's room in my office. Sure enough, there was a visible and aromatic stain on the ass of my pants. I sat for 10 minutes not knowing what to do. I tried drying it with TP, then I took off my pants and started trying to wash them with wet paper towels, to no avail. I thought, "Maybe if I just stay in my seat all day, no one will notice." but the pungent odor reminded me that was not an option. I had to leave. A guy got into the elevator with me and I stood with my back to the wall. I've seen this guy around, but we weren't friends, and we never talked. For some reason today he decides to be Mr. Friendly and tries striking up a conversation with me. Though I have never wanted to have a conversation less in my life, I managed to force out a few one-word answers and escape the elevator without incident. I finally left the building and just started walking, maybe I'd go home, or to Union Square to find a men's clothing store, then I remembered there is a discount mens store a couple blocks away from my office. I untucked my shirt to hide whatever I could and headed down there. I shamefully told the employee I just needed some pants becuase I had and "unexpected accident" and I wanted to wear the new ones out. He was pretty cool about it and had the decency to laugh only behind my back. I walked out wearing new pants and european underwear, and I threw my old pair away, and now here I am.
any terds bigger than 12 inches are known as a trophy shits..
My friend took a trophy shit one time. he called everyone in the bathroom to admire it. It was huge, curled around a few times. then someone noticed there was no tp in there with it!!!
Is it true about Bill Cosby collectin other girls scoots after doing them and keeping them in jars as a trophy?
Chuck Berry's been known to VIDEOTAPE women squatting on the toilet, but I dunno about Cosby...
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Man I just saw what your subject was
I thought nothing could compete with the sharting[/b] thread but I was wrong
"Sharting?"
I think this may be what Day is referring to:
From the personal log of yours truly, August 2004
I SHARTED.
Yep. This morning. On the train coming to work, I let what I thought was nothing but mere morning "Solid" gas, but actually turned out to be liquid, out of my anus. It wasn't that much, I thought, but I said to myself, I should really check out the situation when I get to work. I got out of the train and started walking to work, when another supposedly dry but actually wet shart emerged. I went straight to the men's room in my office. Sure enough, there was a visible and aromatic stain on the ass of my pants. I sat for 10 minutes not knowing what to do. I tried drying it with TP, then I took off my pants and started trying to wash them with wet paper towels, to no avail. I thought, "Maybe if I just stay in my seat all day, no one will notice." but the pungent odor reminded me that was not an option. I had to leave. I left the building and just started walking, maybe I'd go home, or to Union Square to find a men's clothing store, then I remembered there is a discount mens store a couple blocks away from my office. I untucked my shirt to hide whatever I could and headed down there. I shamefully told the employee I just needed some pants becuase I had and "unexpected accident" and I wanted to wear the new ones out. He was pretty cool about it and had the decency to laugh only behind my back. I walked out wearing new pants and european underwear, and I threw my old pair away, and now here I am.
You have to love this man and his candor. Truly one of the most underrated dudes on soulstrut.
I finally left the building and just started walking, maybe I'd go home, or to Union Square to find a men's clothing store, then I remembered there is a discount mens store a couple blocks away from my office.
dawg, you shit your pants and your first thought isn't "Let me go home and wash my ass?!?" i hope your employer appreciates the dedication.
I finally left the building and just started walking, maybe I'd go home, or to Union Square to find a men's clothing store, then I remembered there is a discount mens store a couple blocks away from my office.
dawg, you shit your pants and your first thought isn't "Let me go home and wash my ass?!?" i hope your employer appreciates the dedication.
Yes, it is somewhat "Kafka-esque," like when the dude in Metamorphasis wakes up as a cockroach and can only think about how he's going to get to work. I never told my boss what happened, I just told him I had to go for a minute and I couldn't tell him why. And, I did end up getting fired from that job eventually.
take a dump, wipe... tp comes up clean as it was before you wiped. i've often wondered what causes this? regardless, this is a great look for that "on-the-go shitter".
take a dump, wipe... tp comes up clean as it was before you wiped. i've often wondered what causes this? regardless, this is a great look for that "on-the-go shitter".
that's good break....I've often had good breaks, but you have to wipe just to check...I've threatened not to wipe but caan't pull the trigger
I finally left the building and just started walking, maybe I'd go home, or to Union Square to find a men's clothing store, then I remembered there is a discount mens store a couple blocks away from my office.
dawg, you shit your pants and your first thought isn't "Let me go home and wash my ass?!?" i hope your employer appreciates the dedication.
Yes, it is somewhat "Kafka-esque," like when the dude in Metamorphasis wakes up as a cockroach and can only think about how he's going to get to work. I never told my boss what happened, I just told him I had to go for a minute and I couldn't tell him why. And, I did end up getting fired from that job eventually.
A Kafka-esque poo-your-pants story. Now, I can go home and feel like I learned something today.
P.S. Once, when I was like 12 or 13 years old, I crapped a pair of beige Hammer pants while at a vollyball game. Dookie in the crotch pants...
this is becoming the "shit your pants" thread, so i will reveal my unfortunate episode. when i was uhhh...lets say 8 years old ;-), i was at a big family dinner at this italian restaurant in NJ. half way through the meal i crapped my pants. this wasn't a regular thing, i don't know, it just happened. anyway, i quietly excused myself and hit the mens room, where i proceeded to attempt to flush my tighty-whities down the toilet. i'm not sure if any of you have tried this...but it doesn't work. so after flooding the bathroom, i ran out of there and told my parents i was sick. as i walked out of the restaurant to go "take a nap" in the backseat of my dad's car, i heard someone paging a busboy to go clean up the mess in the bathroom.
One of my housemates knocked on my door one morning and was laughing while pointing at a bunch of stuff on the floor of our hallway. There were a few belongings of another one of my housemates, such as a wallet, keys etc... just thrown on the floor and because he'd been out drinking the night before we guessed he'd just got really drunk and dropped them while he stumbled in. So then my friend goes for a shower and notices some trousers and boxer shorts in the middle of the shower and tells me to come have a look and we laugh again thinking he showered with his clothes on when drunk. Then we notice the smell...and the stains... and realise dude must have had an accident and then it becomes gross. Once we realise what happened we started noticing all the things we missed when we first walked through the house. There was shit on the carpet, there was shit on the light switch, on the wall leading up the stairs and most tellingly, on the guys bedroom door.
We immediately wanted to get out of the house so we were heading out to the pub round the corner where we notice shit on the outside door handle of the house and on the glass on the front door and then the motherload, a fat wad of shit in the recycle bin right by the door. We got to the pub and called the one other housemate to come round and tell him what had happened to be careful about what he touches and we decided that what must have happened is that he drank so much and couldn't make the 10 minute walk home that before he got back to our place he crapped himself. He then must have panicked at our door and tried to scoop it out of his pants with his barehands and put it in the recyle box before using the same shitty hands to open the door and drunkedly claw his way back to his room.
What made me laugh was before we realised all this we'd already answered the door too collect a package from the mailman who must have been greeted by the most horrible smell and sight imaginable haha. We left the house for the day and told him to clean it up before we came back and tried saying that he must have had his drink spiked Luckily he's gone now...
question: how do you handle those sticky residues that sometimes won't leave after double flushing? No, no brush in the bathroom. What do you do?
Streekies???
Wait until the bowl is empty (mid flush) lay strips of TP on the streaks. You must work quickly before the bowl fills back up. Then flush again (before it fills) holdind down the handle. I've only had to do this once but my dad swears by it.
Update your formula: use the tp in the first place, before starting to crap, that's called the "flying carpet".
my worst recent story took place in Seattle when i was visiting my sister. We're at the big market place where the dudes throw the fish (can't remember the name, Seattle headz know the deal) and i roll into the bathroom there to drop the kids off at the pool. The door to the stall only went up halfway! if i stood by it, it would come up to, like, my upper abs. worse yet, the stall was right by the door, so there are mad people coming in and they can look right down at me doing the do. i had to just keep looking down to avoid direct eye contact. what the fuck is up with that? any seattle folks experienced this?
HOLY SHARTS. My sister was just talking about this yesterday. She said " next time your in Pike Place Market look into the womens bathroom. All the stall doors are all short so you will see a line of crotches. Im never going in that bathroom again. I had to stand all awkward it was terrible."
I haven't seen it first hand but we were trying to figure out why it's like that. We came to the conclusion that is because of drugies and illegal activity. There are not many public restrooms in Seattle
One of my housemates knocked on my door one morning and was laughing while pointing at a bunch of stuff on the floor of our hallway. There were a few belongings of another one of my housemates, such as a wallet, keys etc... just thrown on the floor and because he'd been out drinking the night before we guessed he'd just got really drunk and dropped them while he stumbled in. So then my friend goes for a shower and notices some trousers and boxer shorts in the middle of the shower and tells me to come have a look and we laugh again thinking he showered with his clothes on when drunk. Then we notice the smell...and the stains... and realise dude must have had an accident and then it becomes gross. Once we realise what happened we started noticing all the things we missed when we first walked through the house. There was shit on the carpet, there was shit on the light switch, on the wall leading up the stairs[/b] and most tellingly, on the guys bedroom door.
We immediately wanted to get out of the house so we were heading out to the pub round the corner where we notice shit on the outside door handle of the house and on the glass on the front door and then the motherload, a fat wad of shit in the recycle bin right by the door. We got to the pub and called the one other housemate to come round and tell him what had happened to be careful about what he touches and we decided that what must have happened is that he drank so much and couldn't make the 10 minute walk home that before he got back to our place he crapped himself. He then must have panicked at our door and tried to scoop it out of his pants with his barehands and put it in the recyle box before using the same shitty hands to open the door and drunkedly claw his way back to his room.[/b]
What made me laugh was before we realised all this we'd already answered the door too collect a package from the mailman who must have been greeted by the most horrible smell and sight imaginable haha.[/b] We left the house for the day and told him to clean it up before we came back and tried saying that he must have had his drink spiked Luckily he's gone now...
My number 2 time is between me and the porcelain throne.
But no BOOK? Or magazine? Or cereal box? Dude, the bathroom is the next-best place after the library for focused reading.
Oh without a doubt. I actually get bought books by members of my family that they refer to as good loo material. Reading material in the bathroom should be a high priority for any good host - I can't count the number of times I've been forced to read the collection of shower and bath gel ingredients lists while visiting my insides on a friend's lavatory.
On a side note, a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, was looking traumatised in the pub one day. I pressed him for the cause of his discomfort and after a few more drinks he revealed the reason. He???d gone for a poo the day before but, after squatting for some time, he discovered that the log was too large for the exit hole. Deciding that all that was needed was some time he pulled his trousers up and went downstairs. However it quickly became apparent that the turtle???s head had popped and that something needed to be done on an asap basis. He went back up to the toilet and sat for another 15 minutes willing the unholy turd out of his ass. When this didn???t work he was forced to reach up inside his rectum and scoop out the side of the faeces with his finger until it was thin enough to pass unaided.
Bathroom reading material needs to get tagged though. I don't want no dookie gases on the sports section.
Alright, I got one more embarrassing dump-in-the-pants story: When I was 7 years old, I got the runs in my uncle's jacuzi in San Francisco.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. It all evened out about two years ago. My uncle came to visit, and broke the toilet seat at my house when he was reaching for a fresh roll of TP. I got to give him a lift to Home Depot to pick out a brand new throne, on his dime!
I got to give him a lift to Home Depot to pick out a brand new throne, on his dime!
what? you let him paid for it? where's your everyday-life etiquette?
Touche.
He insisted. At a young age, I was always baffled when my family would get into arguments over who picked up the tab at dinner. I may offer once or twice to pay, but if it starts to become heated, I fall back.
I got to give him a lift to Home Depot to pick out a brand new throne, on his dime!
what? you let him paid for it? where's your everyday-life etiquette?
Touche.
He insisted. At a young age, I was always baffled when my family would get into arguments over who picked up the tab at dinner. I may offer once or twice to pay, but if it starts to become heated, I fall back.
I offer once maybe twice but thats it. If you want to pay its all you. My fiance does not see it this way and will argue for me to pay.
I got to give him a lift to Home Depot to pick out a brand new throne, on his dime!
what? you let him paid for it? where's your everyday-life etiquette?
Touche.
He insisted. At a young age, I was always baffled when my family would get into arguments over who picked up the tab at dinner. I may offer once or twice to pay, but if it starts to become heated, I fall back.
I offer once maybe twice but thats it. If you want to pay its all you. My fiance does not see it this way and will argue for me to pay.
Isn't it great having someone in your corner like that? NO, he's paying!
Comments
that happened to me the other night...
any terds bigger than 12 inches are known as a trophy shits..
My friend took a trophy shit one time. he called everyone in the bathroom to admire it. It was huge, curled around a few times. then someone noticed there was no tp in there with it!!!
LOL!
Once I went to the bathroom with my (ex) girlfriend's father. When we arrived, we discovered, to our horror, that there were no urinals, only a trough.
THAT SUCKED.
So, we both whipped out our wangs, and I can't help but thinking, "Yep, this is the cock that I fuck your daughter with, just in case you were wondering." I had a good case of stage fright. He actually was really cool and just started talking to me about something very random, and then the pee started to flow. What a guy!
I think this may be what Day is referring to:
From the personal log of yours truly, August 2004
I SHARTED.
Yep. This morning. On the train coming to work, I let what I thought was nothing but mere morning "Solid" gas, but actually turned out to be liquid, out of my anus. It wasn't that much, I thought, but I said to myself, I should really check out the situation when I get to work. I got out of the train and started walking to work, when another supposedly dry but actually wet shart emerged. I went straight to the men's room in my office. Sure enough, there was a visible and aromatic stain on the ass of my pants. I sat for 10 minutes not knowing what to do. I tried drying it with TP, then I took off my pants and started trying to wash them with wet paper towels, to no avail. I thought, "Maybe if I just stay in my seat all day, no one will notice." but the pungent odor reminded me that was not an option. I had to leave. A guy got into the elevator with me and I stood with my back to the wall. I've seen this guy around, but we weren't friends, and we never talked. For some reason today he decides to be Mr. Friendly and tries striking up a conversation with me. Though I have never wanted to have a conversation less in my life, I managed to force out a few one-word answers and escape the elevator without incident. I finally left the building and just started walking, maybe I'd go home, or to Union Square to find a men's clothing store, then I remembered there is a discount mens store a couple blocks away from my office. I untucked my shirt to hide whatever I could and headed down there. I shamefully told the employee I just needed some pants becuase I had and "unexpected accident" and I wanted to wear the new ones out. He was pretty cool about it and had the decency to laugh only behind my back. I walked out wearing new pants and european underwear, and I threw my old pair away, and now here I am.
If only my Photoshop skills were up to par for that one.
You have to love this man and his candor. Truly one of the most underrated dudes on soulstrut.
dawg, you shit your pants and your first thought isn't "Let me go home and wash my ass?!?" i hope your employer appreciates the dedication.
Are you talking about the urinal trough at Topcat's?
I always hated that thing, I try to get the corner spot for a little bit of privacy.
Yes, it is somewhat "Kafka-esque," like when the dude in Metamorphasis wakes up as a cockroach and can only think about how he's going to get to work.
I never told my boss what happened, I just told him I had to go for a minute and I couldn't tell him why.
And, I did end up getting fired from that job eventually.
take a dump, wipe... tp comes up clean as it was before you wiped. i've often wondered what causes this? regardless, this is a great look for that "on-the-go shitter".
that's good break....I've often had good breaks, but you have to wipe just to check...I've threatened not to wipe but caan't pull the trigger
A Kafka-esque poo-your-pants story. Now, I can go home and feel like I learned something today.
P.S. Once, when I was like 12 or 13 years old, I crapped a pair of beige Hammer pants while at a vollyball game. Dookie in the crotch pants...
this thread is priceless
Then we notice the smell...and the stains... and realise dude must have had an accident and then it becomes gross. Once we realise what happened we started noticing all the things we missed when we first walked through the house. There was shit on the carpet, there was shit on the light switch, on the wall leading up the stairs and most tellingly, on the guys bedroom door.
We immediately wanted to get out of the house so we were heading out to the pub round the corner where we notice shit on the outside door handle of the house and on the glass on the front door and then the motherload, a fat wad of shit in the recycle bin right by the door. We got to the pub and called the one other housemate to come round and tell him what had happened to be careful about what he touches and we decided that what must have happened is that he drank so much and couldn't make the 10 minute walk home that before he got back to our place he crapped himself. He then must have panicked at our door and tried to scoop it out of his pants with his barehands and put it in the recyle box before using the same shitty hands to open the door and drunkedly claw his way back to his room.
What made me laugh was before we realised all this we'd already answered the door too collect a package from the mailman who must have been greeted by the most horrible smell and sight imaginable haha.
We left the house for the day and told him to clean it up before we came back and tried saying that he must have had his drink spiked
Luckily he's gone now...
Update your formula: use the tp in the first place, before starting to crap, that's called the "flying carpet".
She said " next time your in Pike Place Market look into the womens bathroom. All the stall doors are all short so you will see a line of crotches. Im never going in that bathroom again. I had to stand all awkward it was terrible."
I haven't seen it first hand but we were trying to figure out why it's like that. We came to the conclusion that is because of drugies and illegal activity. There are not many public restrooms in Seattle
best story ever
Oh without a doubt. I actually get bought books by members of my family that they refer to as good loo material. Reading material in the bathroom should be a high priority for any good host - I can't count the number of times I've been forced to read the collection of shower and bath gel ingredients lists while visiting my insides on a friend's lavatory.
On a side note, a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, was looking traumatised in the pub one day. I pressed him for the cause of his discomfort and after a few more drinks he revealed the reason. He???d gone for a poo the day before but, after squatting for some time, he discovered that the log was too large for the exit hole. Deciding that all that was needed was some time he pulled his trousers up and went downstairs. However it quickly became apparent that the turtle???s head had popped and that something needed to be done on an asap basis. He went back up to the toilet and sat for another 15 minutes willing the unholy turd out of his ass. When this didn???t work he was forced to reach up inside his rectum and scoop out the side of the faeces with his finger until it was thin enough to pass unaided.
I kinda wish I hadn???t asked.
Alright, I got one more embarrassing dump-in-the-pants story: When I was 7 years old, I got the runs in my uncle's jacuzi in San Francisco.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. It all evened out about two years ago. My uncle came to visit, and broke the toilet seat at my house when he was reaching for a fresh roll of TP. I got to give him a lift to Home Depot to pick out a brand new throne, on his dime!
what? you let him paid for it? where's your everyday-life etiquette?
Touche.
He insisted. At a young age, I was always baffled when my family would get into arguments over who picked up the tab at dinner. I may offer once or twice to pay, but if it starts to become heated, I fall back.
I offer once maybe twice but thats it. If you want to pay its all you. My fiance does not see it this way and will argue for me to pay.
wrong, if it starts to become heated you shut up and make this look:
after that, you quietly pay for the dinner. Without any more words. Start acting like a man, please.
Isn't it great having someone in your corner like that? NO, he's paying!