This reminds me of a story from my college dorm, freshman year in 1990:
We awoke one morning and discovered, from the staircase into the co-ed bathroom, this trail of watery shit which included one stinking pile in the middle of the hallway floor and then another pile...IN THE SHOWER. Clearly, someone was drunk off their ass, couldn't hold in their shit and just lost it, bit by bit, throughout the hallway. This is bad enough but here's the money moment:
the cleaning lady, this kindly, older Chinese woman, is in the hallway and a bunch of us are standing around the pile of doo-doo sitting in the middle of the floor and someone next to me asks, incredously, "what is that?"
The cleaning lady replies (imagine this with a thick Chinese accent):
"Looks like sheet!"
I'm not sure we ever caught the culprit but it was a supremely NAGL.
One of my housemates knocked on my door one morning and was laughing while pointing at a bunch of stuff on the floor of our hallway. There were a few belongings of another one of my housemates, such as a wallet, keys etc... just thrown on the floor and because he'd been out drinking the night before we guessed he'd just got really drunk and dropped them while he stumbled in. So then my friend goes for a shower and notices some trousers and boxer shorts in the middle of the shower and tells me to come have a look and we laugh again thinking he showered with his clothes on when drunk. Then we notice the smell...and the stains... and realise dude must have had an accident and then it becomes gross. Once we realise what happened we started noticing all the things we missed when we first walked through the house. There was shit on the carpet, there was shit on the light switch, on the wall leading up the stairs[/b] and most tellingly, on the guys bedroom door.
We immediately wanted to get out of the house so we were heading out to the pub round the corner where we notice shit on the outside door handle of the house and on the glass on the front door and then the motherload, a fat wad of shit in the recycle bin right by the door. We got to the pub and called the one other housemate to come round and tell him what had happened to be careful about what he touches and we decided that what must have happened is that he drank so much and couldn't make the 10 minute walk home that before he got back to our place he crapped himself. He then must have panicked at our door and tried to scoop it out of his pants with his barehands and put it in the recyle box before using the same shitty hands to open the door and drunkedly claw his way back to his room.[/b]
What made me laugh was before we realised all this we'd already answered the door too collect a package from the mailman who must have been greeted by the most horrible smell and sight imaginable haha.[/b] We left the house for the day and told him to clean it up before we came back and tried saying that he must have had his drink spiked Luckily he's gone now...
so i'm still at work right now...just walked outta the bathroom. we have 3 stalls and 3 urinals on our floor.
i've noticed that for the last 4 or 5 months, someone keeps breaking the toilet seat in the first stall. i really can't explain this. it gets repaired, and i'm assuming someone breaks it again (kicking?) in a fit of rage, or laughter. i'm not sure. but i always have a laugh when i see the seat propped up next to the toilet after it had been fine the day before. how long will this last?
The squat toilets remind of another story - this one a DJ one (which I've probably shared here before but it's worth retelling).
I was in Shanghai in the dead of winter in 2002 and DJing a gig at this club called the Pegasus. Shangahi is bitterly cold in the winter and being the wussy Cali boy, I usually went out rocking a few layers, including thermal underwear.
That's fine if you're wandering the streets in below zero temps. Not so smart when you're djing in a club that's heated into the mid 70s and beyond. After less than hour, I was dying.
The problem was that 1) it's not like a brought along another pair of underwear and 2) even if I had, the only place to change was in the squat toilet stalls. I figured I'd just try to deal but the heat in my pants (yeah, that just happened) was reaching crisis level.
That meant I had to find a way to change out of my thermals...while standingin a dirty ass squat toilet stall...and find a way to take off my pants, then take off my thermals...all while slipping my feet precariously in and out of my kicks so that my feet didn't hit the floor. All while straddling the squat toilet that was just daring me to slip and land a foot into it.
This is not easy.
Yet, somehow, I managed to pull it off (literally) without stepping out of my shoes.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I ended up DJing my first intl' gig while going commando.
yo, been away from SS for some time. i'm on page 2 of this thread and this ass talk/bathrrom etiquette is pure comedy. also, picking up tips like the fine art of the "double flush",....
Well, I lived in a one bathroom aparment with the wife (hi!) and I can tell you: it's one thing when you are the one in the shower and another thing when you are the one begging at the door. I would say, you have to have the other person's terd in you to understand the situation, which is a gross way of saying you have to be in the other person's shoes.
Two words; split bathroom. One room for the toilet, another for the shower/sink.
fenway used to rock urinal troughs. shit was disgusting. they got rid of those things a while back but my memories of pissing in those filth tubs will last a lifetime.
Hahahaaa, I was just thinking about those! Some of those shits were ROUND too! That I do not understand. Like, lets get together and piss in a circular trough while looking at each other.
but the lone stall did not have a door!! so in the middle of a gang of drunks peeing everywhere, my buddy is sitting on this nasty ass toilet for all to see.
NAGL!
wtf is up with places like this? i've been to a few spots that do it up like this and i absolutely do not get it. i was at a bar that had one mens room, with a door that didn't lock, and it had a urinal and a toilet... next to each other without any dividers. ??????? what? when i'm shitting i do not want a dude pissing over my shoulder. who the fuck builds a place like that.
i dont know about you guys but the first time i went to Cincinatti was the first time i experienced a urinal trough...
who pisses with no dividers?
people standing side by side holding their junk
it boggles my mind
Once I went to the bathroom with my (ex) girlfriend's father. When we arrived, we discovered, to our horror, that there were no urinals, only a trough. THAT SUCKED. So, we both whipped out our wangs, and I can't help but thinking, "Yep, this is the cock that I fuck your daughter with, just in case you were wondering." I had a good case of stage fright. He actually was really cool and just started talking to me about something very random, and then the pee started to flow. What a guy!
Most clubs/pubs in Australia only have troughs. Some classier than others, but alot are just stainless steel with a foot grate.
any terds bigger than 12 inches are known as a trophy shits..
My friend took a trophy shit one time. he called everyone in the bathroom to admire it. It was huge, curled around a few times. then someone noticed there was no tp in there with it!!![/b]
and you think that is the point it got weird?
there is a bar in hobart tasmania that has a 1 way mirror out to the beer garden for a trough, I was going to try and get photos but i realised it might look a little
There is one here is bris with a one way mirror trough too. I pointed out to some girls that if the cup their hands around their eyes (thus making it darker outside than in) they could see through.
Much laughing and squeals of delight/disgust emanated from the rapidly growing hoard with their faces pressed to a corridor wall.
Hahahaaa, I was just thinking about those! Some of those shits were ROUND too! That I do not understand. Like, lets get together and piss in a circular trough while looking at each other.
Wrigley used to have those. My first Cubs game (I was 7) was a traumatizing affair. I'm still scarred.
Comments
P.S. Once, when I was like 12 or 13 years old, I crapped a pair of beige Hammer pants while at a vollyball game. Dookie in the crotch pants...
------------
but not sealed
We awoke one morning and discovered, from the staircase into the co-ed bathroom, this trail of watery shit which included one stinking pile in the middle of the hallway floor and then another pile...IN THE SHOWER. Clearly, someone was drunk off their ass, couldn't hold in their shit and just lost it, bit by bit, throughout the hallway. This is bad enough but here's the money moment:
the cleaning lady, this kindly, older Chinese woman, is in the hallway and a bunch of us are standing around the pile of doo-doo sitting in the middle of the floor and someone next to me asks, incredously, "what is that?"
The cleaning lady replies (imagine this with a thick Chinese accent):
"Looks like sheet!"
I'm not sure we ever caught the culprit but it was a supremely NAGL.
so i'm still at work right now...just walked outta the bathroom. we have 3 stalls and 3 urinals on our floor.
i've noticed that for the last 4 or 5 months, someone keeps breaking the toilet seat in the first stall. i really can't explain this. it gets repaired, and i'm assuming someone breaks it again (kicking?) in a fit of rage, or laughter. i'm not sure. but i always have a laugh when i see the seat propped up next to the toilet after it had been fine the day before. how long will this last?
anyone have anything similar happen at work?
I was in Shanghai in the dead of winter in 2002 and DJing a gig at this club called the Pegasus. Shangahi is bitterly cold in the winter and being the wussy Cali boy, I usually went out rocking a few layers, including thermal underwear.
That's fine if you're wandering the streets in below zero temps. Not so smart when you're djing in a club that's heated into the mid 70s and beyond. After less than hour, I was dying.
The problem was that 1) it's not like a brought along another pair of underwear and 2) even if I had, the only place to change was in the squat toilet stalls. I figured I'd just try to deal but the heat in my pants (yeah, that just happened) was reaching crisis level.
That meant I had to find a way to change out of my thermals...while standingin a dirty ass squat toilet stall...and find a way to take off my pants, then take off my thermals...all while slipping my feet precariously in and out of my kicks so that my feet didn't hit the floor. All while straddling the squat toilet that was just daring me to slip and land a foot into it.
This is not easy.
Yet, somehow, I managed to pull it off (literally) without stepping out of my shoes.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I ended up DJing my first intl' gig while going commando.
Two words; split bathroom. One room for the toilet, another for the shower/sink.
Hahahaaa, I was just thinking about those! Some of those shits were ROUND too! That I do not understand. Like, lets get together and piss in a circular trough while looking at each other.
Most clubs/pubs in Australia only have troughs. Some classier than others, but alot are just stainless steel with a foot grate.
I'm lead to believe by your syntax that you have DJed commando plenty of times back home in the US of A.
and you think that is the point it got weird?
there is a bar in hobart tasmania that has a 1 way mirror out to the beer garden for a trough, I was going to try and get photos but i realised it might look a little
Much laughing and squeals of delight/disgust emanated from the rapidly growing hoard with their faces pressed to a corridor wall.
Wrigley used to have those. My first Cubs game (I was 7) was a traumatizing affair. I'm still scarred.
You're not the first (NSFW).