Actually this reminds me of something else. Your mind wanders in the bathroom. Especially when you are going number 2 and have to sit there for a while. Sometimes your mind wanders to something funny and then you laugh. At home this is ok, at work, this is not. I was writing a poem to myself earlier today and almost laughed out loud and had to cover my mouth because somebody was in the stall next to me. Sometimes I make myself laugh. The toilet is not a good place for this.
Yeah, that's happened to me. mostly because of something i'm reading. i amend my previous statement to allow chit-chat while washing hands at the sink. but any superfluous talking in or around the area of "business" is not cool.
The two finalists were on Today and when Elan was getting interviewed this dude started running the blender.
What a douche
i hope you didn't miss the part where all the other contestants called him out for being a douche and he retreated to the roof with notepad and then read his slam poetry at the camera. it was about how the other contestants were wack and how he'll get the last laugh and some other nonsense. i felt embarrassed for him.
Greyhairs who want to make conversation at the thrift store and start weirding out at the sight of portable record turntables and LPs --- (Out of the corner of my eye while I'm previewing records, I see a person towering over me but not saying anything for a long time)
Me: Yes, may I help you? Guy: WOW! HOLY SHIT! I HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THOSE BIG BIRD THINGS BEFORE!
Heh, heh. Yeah, they're useful. (Looking back down at my records) ....
... (looking back up and seeing him still there, staring) Oh man, I can't believe I'm seeing one of those! I bet you have all the K-Tel records and all those expensive Beatles...uh, what do you call them...78s?
Uh, yeah. Sure do. (Looks back down) DORIS! DORIS, HONEY! GET OVER HERE! THIS KID HAS VINYL!!!! OH MY GOD! ---- I'm a pretty tolerant person and I understand people have different ways of interacting with others but 1) why are you surprised to see LPs and a toy portable record player at a store that specializes in used/vintage items and 2) can you not take the subtle hint that I'm trying to concentrate? I always try to stake out a corner spot somewhere where I cannot be bothered.
The two finalists were on Today and when Elan was getting interviewed this dude started running the blender.
What a douche
i hope you didn't miss the part where all the other contestants called him out for being a douche and he retreated to the roof with notepad and then read his slam poetry at the camera. it was about how the other contestants were wack and how he'll get the last laugh and some other nonsense. i felt embarrassed for him.
Yeah his raps are the best. I hope he busts some poetry slam action at the judges table.
The two finalists were on Today and when Elan was getting interviewed this dude started running the blender.
What a douche
i hope you didn't miss the part where all the other contestants called him out for being a douche and he retreated to the roof with notepad and then read his slam poetry at the camera. it was about how the other contestants were wack and how he'll get the last laugh and some other nonsense. i felt embarrassed for him.
cooking. douches, and slam poetry. wow, what show is this u guys talking about? this sounds like the most awesomest thing to ever bless a television set.
The word "kanji" in reference to Chinese characters. When used within the context of the Japanese language, then fine. Any other time thats some ignorant shit.
What about dudes who sport their New Era caps with the gold size sticker on the bill?
muhfuckas who don't realize you can turn right on a redlight in CA. or just conveniently forget that they can when they happen to be trying to turn right on a red light. actually, the fact that other states don't allow this practice also irks me. I mean, it's no more dangerous than making a left turn in traffic, right? just LOOK before turning.
1) When you're waiting in line for 15 minutes to order some food and the person if front of you doesn't know what they want when they finally get to the register. This fucking kills me. Then they spend 5 minutes trying to decide.
2) The people who spend 5 minutes at the soda fountain mixing Sprite, fruit punch, and Gatorade until they come up with the perfect mix. (this usually applies to the same dumbass in #1).
3) People who piss all over the toilet seat. Do they do this on purpose? Where do these people come from?
1) When you're waiting in line for 15 minutes to order some food and the person if front of you doesn't know what they want when they finally get to the register. This fucking kills me. Then they spend 5 minutes trying to decide.
2) The people who spend 5 minutes at the soda fountain mixing Sprite, fruit punch, and Gatorade until they come up with the perfect mix. (this usually applies to the same dumbass in #1).
3) People who piss all over the toilet seat. Do they do this on purpose? Where do these people come from?
This post makes it sound like half your life is spent inside of Burger King
1) When you're waiting in line for 15 minutes to order some food and the person if front of you doesn't know what they want when they finally get to the register. This fucking kills me. Then they spend 5 minutes trying to decide.
2) The people who spend 5 minutes at the soda fountain mixing Sprite, fruit punch, and Gatorade until they come up with the perfect mix. (this usually applies to the same dumbass in #1).
3) People who piss all over the toilet seat. Do they do this on purpose? Where do these people come from?
This post makes it sound like half your life is spent inside of Burger King
I work in a Burger King.
No, but seriously, I spend all day driving around for work so unfortunately I rely on take out spots for food and bathroom braeks. I need to start packing lunches again.
1. shitty ass mannerless drivers with no road etiquette.
2. people sitting in the office cube next to me always making lame ass pseudo business calls on muhfukin SPEAKERPHONE for the whole world to hear. i can hear every word of every conversation you are having, you self important twat.
3. those same people talking in excruciating detail about their innermost private lives.
4. and again those same people (one person actually) telling visitors in the office that they are being too loud and she is "trying to get work done here"
5. people figuring out i am Indian and then IMMEDIATELY mentioning how they like curry, how they don't like Indian food because it's "too spicy" or because it gives them "an upset stomach" or asking me for goddam indian restaurant recommendations in the area. DO I LOOK LIKE A ZAGAT'S TO YOU, find out for yourself you lazy patronizing wanna-be-down-with-ethnic types poseur asshole. AND NOT ALL INDIAN FOOD IS CURRY YOU MORON.
6. people giving me skeptical looks in public places because i could be one of those al-qaeda dudes. i especially get this at or around the pentagon metro stop here in DC. SCREW YOU you idiot, you remind me of Timothy McVeigh. Get over yourself.
7. and also, it realy irks me when the toilet paper runs out and there's no backup nearby.
Comments
Ever noticed how 'boing', 'going' and 'doing' are spelled the same (apart from the first letter obviously) but are pronounced completely different?
Yeah, that's happened to me. mostly because of something i'm reading. i amend my previous statement to allow chit-chat while washing hands at the sink. but any superfluous talking in or around the area of "business" is not cool.
i hope you didn't miss the part where all the other contestants called him out for being a douche and he retreated to the roof with notepad and then read his slam poetry at the camera. it was about how the other contestants were wack and how he'll get the last laugh and some other nonsense. i felt embarrassed for him.
---
(Out of the corner of my eye while I'm previewing records, I see a person towering over me but not saying anything for a long time)
Me: Yes, may I help you?
Guy: WOW! HOLY SHIT! I HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THOSE BIG BIRD THINGS BEFORE!
Heh, heh. Yeah, they're useful. (Looking back down at my records)
....
... (looking back up and seeing him still there, staring)
Oh man, I can't believe I'm seeing one of those! I bet you have all the K-Tel records and all those expensive Beatles...uh, what do you call them...78s?
Uh, yeah. Sure do. (Looks back down)
DORIS! DORIS, HONEY! GET OVER HERE! THIS KID HAS VINYL!!!! OH MY GOD!
----
I'm a pretty tolerant person and I understand people have different ways of interacting with others but 1) why are you surprised to see LPs and a toy portable
record player at a store that specializes in used/vintage items and 2) can you not take the subtle hint that I'm trying to concentrate? I always try to stake out a corner spot somewhere where I cannot be bothered.
not to forget: Boeing
Yeah his raps are the best. I hope he busts some poetry slam action at the judges table.
cooking. douches, and slam poetry. wow, what show is this u guys talking about? this sounds like the most awesomest thing to ever bless a television set.
x 1,000,000.
What about dudes who sport their New Era caps with the gold size sticker on the bill?
And people that try to argue with you when you point out that it's not a word.
"But it's in the dictionary!"
Right, owing to the force of repetition by ignoramuses like you.
Oh dear god yes. Also:
tailgaters (and, conversely, motherfuckers who won't go faster than 50 on the highway...I'm no speed demon, but come the fuck on!)
people who forward you email chain letters
"Can you play some hip-hop?" while playing--you guessed it--hip-hop
militant vegetarians (I don't care what you do and don't eat...just shut the fuck up)
Fake accents (See: Madonna and her Brit-speak; white reggae DJs overcompensating by using that horribly overinflected patois)
Why you gotta do Ross like that?
Har! I knew I should have put in a "Ross Hogg is not guilty of this" disclaimer.
NO FASSY'OLE.
and kick the back your chair.
JUST LET THE FUCKER PLAY OUT!
Penultimate - this actually means second last
Ambivalent - means you actually give a deep shit both ways but can't decide.
2) The people who spend 5 minutes at the soda fountain mixing Sprite, fruit punch, and Gatorade until they come up with the perfect mix. (this usually applies to the same dumbass in #1).
3) People who piss all over the toilet seat. Do they do this on purpose? Where do these people come from?
peeps starting threads about me[/b]
and thats about it.
I think you mean "noramuses"
This post makes it sound like half your life
is spent inside of Burger King
I work in a Burger King.
No, but seriously, I spend all day driving around for work so unfortunately I rely on take out spots for food and bathroom braeks. I need to start packing lunches again.
I heard an interview on NPR where Bill Gates used it...
I guess that means it's legit now.
AAAAARRRRGH!
2. people sitting in the office cube next to me always making lame ass pseudo business calls on muhfukin SPEAKERPHONE for the whole world to hear. i can hear every word of every conversation you are having, you self important twat.
3. those same people talking in excruciating detail about their innermost private lives.
4. and again those same people (one person actually) telling visitors in the office that they are being too loud and she is "trying to get work done here"
5. people figuring out i am Indian and then IMMEDIATELY mentioning how they like curry, how they don't like Indian food because it's "too spicy" or because it gives them "an upset stomach" or asking me for goddam indian restaurant recommendations in the area. DO I LOOK LIKE A ZAGAT'S TO YOU, find out for yourself you lazy patronizing wanna-be-down-with-ethnic types poseur asshole. AND NOT ALL INDIAN FOOD IS CURRY YOU MORON.
6. people giving me skeptical looks in public places because i could be one of those al-qaeda dudes. i especially get this at or around the pentagon metro stop here in DC. SCREW YOU you idiot, you remind me of Timothy McVeigh. Get over yourself.
7. and also, it realy irks me when the toilet paper runs out and there's no backup nearby.
that was cathartic, thanks.