The problem with endless wipe syndrome is that generally the toilet paper does not match the task at hand. Cheap, one step down from sandpaper TP just ain't cutting it. Please get me some Charmin in here! I need something absorbent.
a. i think this is the first time i've cried laughing @ a SS thread. that probably says something about my level of sophistication, but so be it.
and b.
Does anyone have a urinal installed at their crib?
i do, in my garage. my wife was sold on lots of other features of the house; i was just looking forward to the harassment stopping because i refuse to piss sitting down.
i do, in my garage. my wife was sold on lots of other features of the house; i was just looking forward to the harassment stopping because i refuse to piss sitting down.
So wait, was it already there or did you have it installed??
I hate having those endless wipes in those public bathrooms and you got motherfuckers knocking and pounding on the door.
A[/b] totha YO[/b]
nothing is more comforting on a cold winter morning than sitting upon one's TOTO japanese made toilet shrines. ii kibun dayo.
i read a book. it was like maybe 50 pages. anyways it was this kinda essay on japanese aesthetics but it basically turned into a japanese bathrooms vs. american bathrooms and how american bathrooms aesthetic makes it hard for you to take a shit cuz theyre usually real antiseptic looking with harsh fluorescent lighting. and japanese bathrooms have like fake plastic flowers and them my sharidan type air freshners and wood paneling making it more organic and therefore easier for you to take a shit. i really wouldnt argue with my people on that one.
There used to be (or perhaos still is) a restaurant in Manhattan where the toilets were separated from the dining room by two-way mirrors. I remember sitting at the table with some friends freaking the hell out of our buddy in the washroom by making faces at her as if we could see in, which, of course, we couldn't. It was very funny but an odd gimmick for a restaurant.
i do, in my garage. my wife was sold on lots of other features of the house; i was just looking forward to the harassment stopping because i refuse to piss sitting down.
So wait, was it already there or did you have it installed??
already installed.
no idea what it costs, but i assure you whatever the previous owners paid, it was a value.
So I went the the bathroom to go take a shit because the cleaning gets done every day at 10, so I knew that my bowl would be pristine and I would get to make the blue water brown.
you truly are a fucking god walking amongst plebs.
Planning your dumps:
I'm the same way...You gotta love a fresh clean bowl to drop a deuce in...
this is why bidets rule!.. every bathroom had them when i was growing up in south america... shit is unheard of here in the states... don't you all want a clean ass?
'cause when you're a guy, and you got a hairy ass......... well, i'll spare you guys the details.
Is it like cleaning up peanut butter off a shag carpet?
By the way a dump bigger than a foot is a trophy shit. I had one today. Just thought I'd share....god bless
My current work/shit related problem happens to be IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I work at a starbucks and when I open I have to do the daily bank deposit. This involves opening the safe, pulling out a fuckload of money, counting it and balancing it against the day before's sales. Well... for the past month or so, everytime I open, I HAVE to take a shit RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING THE DEPOSIT. I think it started out because my eating schedule is fucked up, but add in the fact that I usually down a couple espressos in the morning... and bam!! Now my body is trained to have to shit when I stop workign to do the deposit. So I have to pack up all the money I have out, close the safe, set it again (10 minute delay), and then go try to shit in ten minutes so I can just open the safe and keep on with the deposit once I'm done. We're incredibly busy at this time in the morning, so not only do I feel bad because I'm taking a shit break on top of my already cushy task of doing the deposit while my co-workers have to slang coffee and lattes, but I ALWAYS get at least two or three VIOLENT shakes of the door handle while I'm in there.
Time-sensitive work-shits in a public-use bathroom at a busy Starbucks is certainly
This thread, however, is a five star classic. Right up there with the Porn Stories thread...
My current work/shit related problem happens to be IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I work at a starbucks and when I open I have to do the daily bank deposit. This involves opening the safe, pulling out a fuckload of money, counting it and balancing it against the day before's sales. Well... for the past month or so, everytime I open, I HAVE to take a shit RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING THE DEPOSIT. I think it started out because my eating schedule is fucked up, but add in the fact that I usually down a couple espressos in the morning... and bam!! Now my body is trained to have to shit when I stop workign to do the deposit. So I have to pack up all the money I have out, close the safe, set it again (10 minute delay), and then go try to shit in ten minutes so I can just open the safe and keep on with the deposit once I'm done. We're incredibly busy at this time in the morning, so not only do I feel bad because I'm taking a shit break on top of my already cushy task of doing the deposit while my co-workers have to slang coffee and lattes, but I ALWAYS get at least two or three VIOLENT shakes of the door handle while I'm in there.
Time-sensitive work-shits in a public-use bathroom at a busy Starbucks is certainly
This thread, however, is a five star classic. Right up there with the Porn Stories thread...
You got to coffee up after you do that ! It's worth it...
Any good stories out there about ???not making it????
So, the company that I work for decides to throw a little celebration one Friday afternoon because they win a large piece of new business. I???d been working my arse off all day and never managed to get lunch. Around 4:00pm I join in the celebrations. I???m fucking starvin??? and end up demolishing a plate of nachos and the complementary bowl of hot jalapeno cheese dip. There???s loads of free beer knocking around so I take full advantage. I knock back three pints of Guinness as I???m make meaningless chat with a couple of co-workers. Forty minutes later I???m driving home and I???m hit with stabbing pain. My heart starts to race as I???m about a mile from the crib and I can feel the constitution is not right. I pull up outside my place, double park, and leg it to my front door. I put in the key, run up the stairs, meanwhile undoing my belt and flys as I run past a neighbor. I put my key in the front door, pull down my pants, I???m about three feet from the lav and my arse explodes like a fucking hydrant. It???s all over the hallway floor and up the walls. The smell was unbelievable, as if I had dropped a beef chaloupa behind the stove back in 2003 and forgot it was there.
Any good stories out there about ???not making it????
So, the company that I work for decides to throw a little celebration one Friday afternoon because they win a large piece of new business. I???d been working my arse off all day and never managed to get lunch. Around 4:00pm I join in the celebrations. I???m fucking starvin??? and end up demolishing a plate of nachos and the complementary bowl of hot jalapeno cheese dip. There???s loads of free beer knocking around so I take full advantage. I knock back three pints of Guinness as I???m make meaningless chat with a couple of co-workers. Forty minutes later I???m driving home and I???m hit with stabbing pain. My heart starts to race as I???m about a mile from the crib and I can feel the constitution is not right. I pull up outside my place, double park, and leg it to my front door. I put in the key, run up the stairs, meanwhile undoing my belt and flys as I run past a neighbor. I put my key in the front door, pull down my pants, I???m about three feet from the lav and my arse explodes like a fucking hydrant. It???s all over the hallway floor and up the walls. The smell was unbelievable, as if I had dropped a beef chaloupa behind the stove back in 2003 and forgot it was there.
Any good stories out there about ???not making it????
So, the company that I work for decides to throw a little celebration one Friday afternoon because they win a large piece of new business. I???d been working my arse off all day and never managed to get lunch. Around 4:00pm I join in the celebrations. I???m fucking starvin??? and end up demolishing a plate of nachos and the complementary bowl of hot jalapeno cheese dip. There???s loads of free beer knocking around so I take full advantage. I knock back three pints of Guinness as I???m make meaningless chat with a couple of co-workers. Forty minutes later I???m driving home and I???m hit with stabbing pain. My heart starts to race as I???m about a mile from the crib and I can feel the constitution is not right. I pull up outside my place, double park, and leg it to my front door. I put in the key, run up the stairs, meanwhile undoing my belt and flys as I run past a neighbor. I put my key in the front door, pull down my pants, I???m about three feet from the lav and my arse explodes like a fucking hydrant. It???s all over the hallway floor and up the walls. The smell was unbelievable, as if I had dropped a beef chaloupa behind the stove back in 2003 and forgot it was there.
What about the worst bathroom you have ever come across?
Hands down in some crappy mall in Buffalo.
I walk into the washroom to take a piss and first off... The Urinal is a round fucking troft deal where everyone is suppose to stand around and piss looking at eachother...
Like WTF...
But even more fucked up (Yes... It gets even crazier!) there were about 5 toilets in a row (No big deal right?) all with walls about 3 to 4 feet high in between them. So, when I walked in there was a dude you could totally see from his chest up taking a smash.
It was a total WTF moment. So, I just washed my hands and walked out.
Ya'll fools are missing out! LOL!! Some of the toilets in Japan are NEXT LEVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Built in warm water bidets, heated seats, electronic control panels on the side of the toilet, automatic air freshener is released when you pull out more toilet paper from the roll. These toilets are standard in lots of restaurants and businesses. Wifey and I were eating dinner at a very nice sushi spot in Aoyama, Tokyo last summer and I went to use the bathroom. I walk into a SPOTLESS super nice bathroom with fresh flowers on the counter and real hand towels on the sink and all that. The lid on the toilet was closed and as I approach the toilet a motorized toilet lid automatically opens. CRAZY! Here is a pic of the controls on a public toilet in Japan...
"otohime" deserves to be mentioned as well, especially because it??s somehow music-related...
a nice item providing background sound ("sound princess") for people with paruresis...
I walk into the washroom to take a piss and first off... The Urinal is a round fucking troft deal where everyone is suppose to stand around and piss looking at eachother...
Like WTF...
Troughs used to be cutting edge urinal technology. Last time I used one would have been Riverfront Stadium (RIP) in Cincinnati. Man up and step up!
I want to hear more about these "advanced" Japanese toilets. When I lived in Okinawa, most of the bathrooms were those squat-on-the-floor-type-deals... when folks are not trained to pull their pants all the way down.
Has anyone else here experienced the "no wiper". This usually happens when your shit is super hard. Most of the time it comes out in one big turd/brick. Then after one wipe, there's nothing on the paper at all. I remember being so sure that it was a NW that I didn't even touch TP, I just smiled and walked out (it took about 1 minute start to finish).
Hands down the foulest toilets I ever saw were in Egypt. They're those squatter types with the no TP, just a cut down hose for a do it yourself bidet. Do even think that I made in one of those. Below is a very clean version of what I saw.
1. I hate shitting anywhere outside of my apartment. I wish people didn't have to shit at all. Unless it's a 'no-wiper', I generally shower after shitting, and henceforth I have trained my body to shit in the morning - right before I get into the shower.
This brings me to my second point:
2. Toilet paper is for suckers. Why go through tons of toilet paper to smear shit around your balloon-knot and the surrounding area? That doesn't get your ass clean! As mentioned above, I shit before I shower, so the first thing I do when I get in the shower is to turn my back to the stream of water, bend over, and spread my ass-cheeks!
That's right - I let the shower water and gravity cleanse my asshole, bitches!
There's nothing quite like the joy of seeing a scatted-up raisin wash down the drain of the tub!
Comments
Stick to making these types of threads and not talking about rap music and we'll be all frickin' good.
hilarious.
I hate having those endless wipes in those public bathrooms and you got motherfuckers knocking and pounding on the door.
The problem with endless wipe syndrome is that generally the toilet paper does not match the task at hand. Cheap, one step down from sandpaper TP just ain't cutting it. Please get me some Charmin in here! I need something absorbent.
that probably says something about my level of sophistication, but so be it.
and b.
i do, in my garage.
my wife was sold on lots of other features of the house;
i was just looking forward to the harassment stopping
because i refuse to piss sitting down.
So wait, was it already there or did you have it installed??
A[/b] totha YO[/b]
nothing is more comforting on a cold winter morning than sitting upon one's TOTO japanese made toilet shrines. ii kibun dayo.
i read a book. it was like maybe 50 pages. anyways it was this kinda essay on japanese aesthetics but it basically turned into a japanese bathrooms vs. american bathrooms and how american bathrooms aesthetic makes it hard for you to take a shit cuz theyre usually real antiseptic looking with harsh fluorescent lighting. and japanese bathrooms have like fake plastic flowers and them my sharidan type air freshners and wood paneling making it more organic and therefore easier for you to take a shit. i really wouldnt argue with my people on that one.
already installed.
no idea what it costs, but i assure you
whatever the previous owners paid,
it was a value.
One of my freinds has this badboy installed in his warehouse/studio/apartment:
The best thing is he got it 2nd hand after some sort of protest in the US
Where are those stars when we need them.
Raj, make this five stars.
I'm the same way...You gotta love a fresh clean bowl to drop a deuce in...
Is it like cleaning up peanut butter off a shag carpet?
By the way a dump bigger than a foot is a trophy shit. I had one today. Just thought I'd share....god bless
Time-sensitive work-shits in a public-use bathroom at a busy Starbucks is certainly
This thread, however, is a five star classic. Right up there with the Porn Stories thread...
You got to coffee up after you do that ! It's worth it...
So, the company that I work for decides to throw a little celebration one Friday afternoon because they win a large piece of new business. I???d been working my arse off all day and never managed to get lunch. Around 4:00pm I join in the celebrations. I???m fucking starvin??? and end up demolishing a plate of nachos and the complementary bowl of hot jalapeno cheese dip. There???s loads of free beer knocking around so I take full advantage. I knock back three pints of Guinness as I???m make meaningless chat with a couple of co-workers. Forty minutes later I???m driving home and I???m hit with stabbing pain. My heart starts to race as I???m about a mile from the crib and I can feel the constitution is not right. I pull up outside my place, double park, and leg it to my front door. I put in the key, run up the stairs, meanwhile undoing my belt and flys as I run past a neighbor. I put my key in the front door, pull down my pants, I???m about three feet from the lav and my arse explodes like a fucking hydrant. It???s all over the hallway floor and up the walls. The smell was unbelievable, as if I had dropped a beef chaloupa behind the stove back in 2003 and forgot it was there.
WOw.
That's what you call an assplosion !
Hands down in some crappy mall in Buffalo.
I walk into the washroom to take a piss and first off... The Urinal is a round fucking troft deal where everyone is suppose to stand around and piss looking at eachother...
Like WTF...
But even more fucked up (Yes... It gets even crazier!) there were about 5 toilets in a row (No big deal right?) all with walls about 3 to 4 feet high in between them. So, when I walked in there was a dude you could totally see from his chest up taking a smash.
It was a total WTF moment. So, I just washed my hands and walked out.
I've never been back to that mall.
"otohime" deserves to be mentioned as well, especially because it??s somehow music-related...
a nice item providing background sound ("sound princess") for people with paruresis...
check out more background information and dream of a "A high-end wireless toilet control panel with 38 buttons" here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_toilet
Troughs used to be cutting edge urinal technology. Last time I used one would have been Riverfront Stadium (RIP) in Cincinnati. Man up and step up!
WTF is that pink bucket? I don't want to know.
Thankyou
This entry is a wealth of information.
Wooden "toilet paper":
"Toilet Slippers" (to preserve the hems of your Escada):
Ad for "Apricot" brand bidet:
This brings me to my second point:
2. Toilet paper is for suckers. Why go through tons of toilet paper to smear shit around your balloon-knot and the surrounding area? That doesn't get your ass clean! As mentioned above, I shit before I shower, so the first thing I do when I get in the shower is to turn my back to the stream of water, bend over, and spread my ass-cheeks!
That's right - I let the shower water and gravity cleanse my asshole, bitches!
There's nothing quite like the joy of seeing a scatted-up raisin wash down the drain of the tub!