TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

1247248250252253345

  Comments


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    He'll need to work some kind of magic, or hit some kind of crystal, to do Barca, fox rules (my version of faux rillz).

    And so, apropos of nothing -

    I have had a good day today.

    Someone thought "Faux-fur" was fox fur, and that fox fair was somehow morally superior to like, [upspeak]some real fur?[/upspeak]

    I reminded me of Faux Rillz. Maybe it's the dyslexic in me.

    This isn't the same person that thought "C'est la vie" was "Sailor V" and frequently emailed as much. That was classic; second only to 1998's "Iron sight" as an interpretation of "Hindsight" (I always see some "Man In the Iron Mask" figure when someone drops "Hindsight" now. Those long Winter nights just fly by.)

    Whilst changing to go out biking at lunch, I removed the clean bike gear I'd had in a bag for over a week to find a banana at the bottom (that had been there for at least that week). I'm afraid it was in a terminal, almost liquid state, and all my clobber reeked of banana. At this time, the line

    "Soaked in banana cologne,
    No wonder you're all alone"

    From Prince's "Rock Hard In A Funky Place" sprung to mind. I would have been happy to have hummed that the whole way, but the jukebox of my mind was immediately rocked when I put my arm into the jacket, and a freshly-laundered pair of the Mrs' black panties fell out of the cuff and hit the deck.

    "R. Kelly? You're on."

    I don't think any of the other blokes saw them, they were too busy choking on banana fumes.

    On the ride, I encountered all manner of wildlife, took a detour into some unexplored woods and came across a herd of about a dozen wild deer. I've seen the odd one before, but wow, never gotten this close before.

    It must be what an African safari feels like.

    Only with much less chance of being eaten. And much colder. And cheaper.

    I did give chase as best as the conditions allowed, and got a pic of them outside of the woods. But you've got to be on Instagram to see it. Sailor V.


  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    He'll need to work some kind of magic, or hit some kind of crystal, to do Barca, fox rules (my version of faux rillz).

    And so, apropos of nothing -

    I have had a good day today.

    Someone thought "Faux-fur" was fox fur, and that fox fair was somehow morally superior to like, [upspeak]some real fur?[/upspeak]

    I reminded me of Faux Rillz. Maybe it's the dyslexic in me.

    This isn't the same person that thought "C'est la vie" was "Sailor V" and frequently emailed as much. That was classic; second only to 1998's "Iron sight" as an interpretation of "Hindsight" (I always see some "Man In the Iron Mask" figure when someone drops "Hindsight" now. Those long Winter nights just fly by.)

    Whilst changing to go out biking at lunch, I removed the clean bike gear I'd had in a bag for over a week to find a banana at the bottom (that had been there for at least that week). I'm afraid it was in a terminal, almost liquid state, and all my clobber reeked of banana. At this time, the line

    "Soaked in banana cologne,
    No wonder you're all alone"

    From Prince's "Rock Hard In A Funky Place" sprung to mind. I would have been happy to have hummed that the whole way, but the jukebox of my mind was immediately rocked when I put my arm into the jacket, and a freshly-laundered pair of the Mrs' black panties fell out of the cuff and hit the deck.

    "R. Kelly? You're on."

    I don't think any of the other blokes saw them, they were too busy choking on banana fumes.

    On the ride, I encountered all manner of wildlife, took a detour into some unexplored woods and came across a herd of about a dozen wild deer. I've seen the odd one before, but wow, never gotten this close before.

    It must be what an African safari feels like.

    Only with much less chance of being eaten. And much colder. And cheaper.

    I did give chase as best as the conditions allowed, and got a pic of them outside of the woods. But you've got to be on Instagram to see it. Sailor V.


    Sublime.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Jimster been leaning existential for a while now.
    Life change? Outlook re-engineering?
    Pm reply soonest. Been a long, boozy week.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    skel said:
    Jimster been leaning existential for a while now.
    Life change? Outlook re-engineering?
    Pm reply soonest. Been a long, boozy week.

    I'd wager I've been subconsciously straddling the two spheres of existentialism and humanism for some time, like some Colossus of Rhodes astride the harbour of my own mind.

    If he was, like, only six foot and marginally less well-chiselled.

    And with no trace of a bronze tan.

    Well, he was actually bronze, so there's no amount of Hawaiian Tropic (or moisturiser) I could hammer to be fooling anyone. I tan like a vampire.

    I guess to proceed further with the metaphor, the middle-ground must be my own backside, which the Mrs. would happily concur to being the source of 99% of my output.

    Current contemplative themes are coming from Brasil; listening to Jobim pieces, reading of Vinicius de Moraes, about how they made Bossa a genuine art form, a deeper appreciation of the not-spectrally-visible colours Elaine Elias teases out of Bill Evans' own ultraviolet blues, and appreciating how Dee Dee Bridgewater and Bert van den Brink slay "How Insensitive" live.

    And they've got the World Cup, despite abject poverty and death squads.

    And yet the Favella Dwellers seem happy as Larry. Is it the crack?

    And yes, I've seen the Parrot flick "Rio". Can you believe the baddie survives for Rio 2?

    Brasil is not for beginners.

    In short, I wish I had spent all my sleeping hours learning piano now, and wondering if my urge to play like that detracts from the pleasure the music is supposed to give.

    Should the struggle to make life better for your fellow man be at the expense of living yourself?

    L*O to speak on it - the pressure cooker of the Young Ones domicile must yield unique curveball worldviews for life to swat.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:


    Should the struggle to make life better for your fellow man be at the expense of living yourself?

    L*O to speak on it - the pressure cooker of the Young Ones domicile must yield unique curveball worldviews for life to swat.

    I'm out of the Crack Den! Just finished my TESOL course, holed-up at my mum's gaff, looking at flights to Barcelona.

    I think there's a pinch of sacrifice needed, yes, but the easiest way to improve the lot of your fellow travellers is, in the words of today's yoot, "allowing it", which I take to mean exercising patience and a degree of understanding, which isn't such a struggle with practise and the right motivation.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    Pow! Man is like, a Buddhas, is it.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    You wouldn't say that if you spoke to my old housemates though... I'm sure they thought I was intolerance personified what with my insistence on sleeping at night, basic levels of hygiene, and adhering to some simple household security.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    The propensity for 30/40 something man to search for meaning is a cliche, yet remains true.
    That search leads to a yearning, then either a relaxation into an accommodation with one's station, or a festering resentment spiralling into cynicism and self-destruction.

    The alternative scenario involves a rebirth powered by wacky pseudo sciences, quasi religiosity, pursuit of hedonism and the like.

    Anyways, peace be with my bredren going through such times.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    You condescending git Skel!



    RIP Tony Benn


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:

    L*O to speak on it - the pressure cooker of the Young Ones domicile must yield unique curveball worldviews for life to swat.




    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/09/110929074205.htm

    A single high dose of the hallucinogen psilocybin, the active ingredient in so-called "magic mushrooms," was enough to bring about a measurable personality change lasting at least a year in nearly 60 percent of the 51 participants in a new study, according to the Johns Hopkins researchers who conducted it.



    Lasting change was found in the part of the personality known as openness, which includes traits related to imagination, aesthetics, feelings, abstract ideas and general broad-mindedness. Changes in these traits, measured on a widely used and scientifically validated personality inventory, were larger in magnitude than changes typically observed in healthy adults over decades of life experiences, the scientists say. Researchers in the field say that after the age of 30, personality doesn't usually change significantly.
    "Normally, if anything, openness tends to decrease as people get older," says study leader Roland R. Griffiths, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.
    The research, approved by Johns Hopkins' Institutional Review Board, was funded in part by the National Institute on Drug Abuse and published in the Journal of Psychopharmacology.
    The study participants completed two to five eight-hour drug sessions, with consecutive sessions separated by at least three weeks. Participants were informed they would receive a "moderate or high dose" of psilocybin during one of their drug sessions, but neither they nor the session monitors knew when.
    During each session, participants were encouraged to lie down on a couch, use an eye mask to block external visual distraction, wear headphones through which music was played and focus their attention on their inner experiences.
    Personality was assessed at screening, one to two months after each drug session and approximately 14 months after the last drug session. Griffiths says he believes the personality changes found in this study are likely permanent since they were sustained for over a year by many.
    Nearly all of the participants in the new study considered themselves spiritually active (participating regularly in religious services, prayer or meditation). More than half had postgraduate degrees. The sessions with the otherwise illegal hallucinogen were closely monitored and volunteers were considered to be psychologically healthy
    "We don't know whether the findings can be generalized to the larger population," Griffiths says.
    As a word of caution, Griffiths also notes that some of the study participants reported strong fear or anxiety for a portion of their daylong psilocybin sessions, although none reported any lingering harmful effects. He cautions, however, that if hallucinogens are used in less well supervised settings, the possible fear or anxiety responses could lead to harmful behaviors.
    Griffiths says lasting personality change is rarely looked at as a function of a single discrete experience in the laboratory. In the study, the change occurred specifically in those volunteers who had undergone a "mystical experience," as validated on a questionnaire developed by early hallucinogen researchers and refined by Griffiths for use at Hopkins. He defines "mystical experience" as among other things, "a sense of interconnectedness with all people and things accompanied by a sense of sacredness and reverence."
    Personality was measured on a widely used and scientifically validated personality inventory, which covers openness and the other four broad domains that psychologists consider the makeup of personality: neuroticism, extroversion, agreeableness and conscientiousness. Only openness changed during the course of the study.
    Griffiths says he believes psilocybin may have therapeutic uses. He is currently studying whether the hallucinogen has a use in helping cancer patients handle the depression and anxiety that comes along with a diagnosis, and whether it can help longtime cigarette smokers overcome their addiction.
    "There may be applications for this we can't even imagine at this point," he says. "It certainly deserves to be systematically studied."
    Along with the National Institute on Drug Abuse, this study was funded by the Council on Spiritual Practices, Heffter Research Institute and the Betsy Gordon Foundation.
    Other Hopkins authors of the research include Matthew W. Johnson, Ph.D, and Katherine A. MacLean, Ph.D.

    Dropped my first acid at 13/14yrs?
    First took mushrooms at 15.
    Overall, think I've done acid about 50 times in my teens, mushrooms about 30 times.
    Bloodklaut!

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    I know a couple of lads who made their own acid and were doing it every night, and videoing themselves on it, to be played back when they were stone-cold sober for comedic effect.

    They told me that observing your own brain crash gave you an insight into how it was working in the background. For example, they played pool on acid and said the black ball would turn into a scarab beetle when it was rolling at the relevant speed, because that was the best match your brain had for something black and shiny that size, moving at that speed.

    Their own insights did make me think about whether the world we take for granted actually looks like that, or whether our brains display the best match in the library for what our senses can search for. It was at this point I wrote "The Matrix".

    They were very analytical of the effects it had, and were seemingly able to determine what was real and what was not. Most of the time. But they did tell me of a time when they did a "Rave In A Cave" and one of them thought he was a tree and couldn't move after sitting down, because he'd took root.

    And then, another time, he got trapped behind a mesh pattern in someone's toilet wallpaper. Someone wanted to pull him free but he believed he'd be cubed by the pattern, like some raasclat egg-slicer. And then, around that time, I started seeing a girl who I'd known at college, who had now become a drug counsellor. She had some very dark stories. I think the job was getting to her and she was becoming mad as a wasp.

    So there was that, and my own deluded belief in my own musical abilities to the point where I feared going out like a Peter Green.

    When I quit that job, they gave me a considerable amount of tabs....

    ...which I gave them right back, because, like, man is already an existence, is it. Man already got the key and the secret (I used to jam with that guy, btw. Eminent entomologist. Got pure Bobby Lyle keyboard moves.)

    But L*o - having done all that - and I read the article above - has man come out the other side with, like, mind and third-eye :ayo: wide open?

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    BTW those lads - one is working for Pix*r in t3h US, the other one was lauded by Microsoft, then sued by them for making them look like idiots, in the same week.

    Solid dudes.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    It certainly felt like, "kind of a big deal", at the time, but when you're a teenager everything does. Spent so much of my yoot high, tripping, stoned or drunk I can't say for sure what difference the drugs made. And they're an inseparable part of my life but I've left all the hard stuff behind. No more acid or shrooms (unless a really cool situation demands it). If there has been any lasting effect, I think I'm sensitive to drugs now and get really good value for money;

    Never had the money for coke when I was growing up, so that was a drug I avoided. Done it maybe three times in my life. Most recently my brother gave me a line. 1 line. I spent 40 minutes po-going up and down in a crowded cocktail bar, laughing hysterically, and gave one of my brother's friends a bear-hug, and a love-bite on his eyebrow. WTF. I don't remember any of it. Felt like shit the next day though.

  • jermain defoe has already sniped two goals in the first 20 minutes of his first TFC game.

    tottenham weeps.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    Watched it live, first MLS game I've seen in ages. Reasonable standard of football on offer. I've been to worse in the UK. No surprise about Defoe, it was a good move for him and he's still tricky. Great debut. Toast of the town?

    TBH, as the second half played out, I thought Sea-Town were the more creative, and worth a draw as they took the game to Toronto, who were happy to sidefoot around the ropes - content to close the shop after going 2-0 up. They'll need to be a bit better drilled if they are going to do this every time they are ahead.

    Always rated Dempsey, he's been a thorn for City on a few occasions, and took his goal well.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts


  • discos_almadiscos_alma discos_alma 2,164 Posts
    ^^^^^ENDLESS LOLS^^^^^

    b/w

    DocMcCoy said:

    The only disappointment of the game was Stevie G not getting his first Old Trafford hat trick. Dude had a great game, penalties aside. One for the record books!

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,905 Posts







  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    The starting XI had me optimistic until about 5 minutes in when I remembered how detrimental Moyes tactics are. It's comically predictable how bad this season is going.

    Made sure to put Sturridge, Gerrard and Suarez (c) in the old Fantasy League team to some decent results, still top although some Canadian badman is not far behind.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    Just listening to the French boo Coltrane live in 1960.

    For playing like everyone wants to play like now.












    But Moyes isn't Coltrane.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    Whatever doe, these are the men wot won it at a canter last year. Moyes did better with Everton.

    Unless man is spending it on heart transplants for kids, Roonaldo - step up, thun.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Whatever doe, these are the men wot won it at a canter last year. Moyes did better with Everton.

    Moyes is someone doing an impossible job badly. It was always going to be a struggle for whoever followed Fergie, no matter who it was. But Moyes hasn't helped himself with his expression of perpetual bewilderment and his "I don't know what went wrong out there today..." routine every time they get thumped.

    But the more I think about it, the harder it becomes to blame everything on him. The players simply weren't interested yesterday, with the possible exception of Rooney and Rafael. If they're not up for LFC at home, when there's still a European place to play for, then they're not the United this scouser grew up loathing.

    Getting played off the park and generally battered at Old Trafford, frustrated at every turn by superior opposition who constantly force you into errors, and all the while getting the sum total of fuck-all off the ref - how does it feel, lads?


  • jleejlee 1,539 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Whatever doe, these are the men wot won it at a canter last year. Moyes did better with Everton.

    Moyes is looking more and more like the wrong guy for UTD. Even accepting the fact that it was going to be hard to be "the next" manager after SAF, and even accepting the belief that UTD weren't as strong as their campaign suggested last year - Moyes just doesn't look like a manager that can best deal with the type of man management that is needed.

    RvP looked clueless yesterday (which is fine by me --- JUDAS), Mata looked so insignificant and Rooney, for all his huffing and puffing didn't really look likely to take over the game.

    It's one thing to suggest that Moyes needs time to bed in, but no one should look that abject with that level of talent on the pitch. I wonder if Moyes was better positioned to manage a "smaller" club where he could embrace that "underdog" status. He doesn't seem to be confident enough to accept that his team should be winning these matches.

    oh well.....not sure increasing your wage bill is going to solve this problem,, but I am sure they will try and solve the issue by throwing cash at the problem this summer. Even with all the money they have, not sure UTD really should be paying upwards of 300k for any player. It'll naturally bring contempt and new players that do come in will expect an inflated number I suppose.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    http://p o rnhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com/








    ^FFS, just have your wank man!^ :lol:



    sorry, one more


  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,905 Posts
    magpaul said:
    still top although some Canadian badman is not far behind.






    Conspiracy theory still Fergie is a mastermind, strategizing poor management/play? To be part of some powerful group to buy controlling interest of the team on a cheaper price? Somehow that is easier for me to believe than just united playing as poor as they are.

    I'm just happy that I'm able to raise my head in pride this season. The last few years, taking a ton of shit talking sucked.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Can yall drop some current Soul that happening rite now?

    Pop....Dirty.....and midstream plaese.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Soul as a genre was extinct in the wild by 1983

    Any sighting nowadays is but analogous to extracting DNA from the bones of a wooly mammoth and implanting to an elephant cell.

    Next post: 7500 batches

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Russia invading its neighbours, LFC challenging for the title and now, Kate Bush doing live shows - it's not 1979 again, is it..?

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    Nah.

    I think we are experiencing the "Dead Cat Bounce" of Western Civilisation.

    And Thatch*r is dead.
Sign In or Register to comment.