Disturbing things you've seen in a public bathroom

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    When I was little my mom took me school clothes shopping at JCPenneys, and I had to take a lactose-intolerance induced dookie. So we found some bathroom and I went in to handle my business like a little man and all. I'm in there reading all this shit on the stall walls about "meet me here on 3/16 at 3:00 if you want it in the ass" and things like that. Then I hear these noises that I wasn't used to hearing, peer under the stall and notice a few stalls over two sets of feet with their pants around the ankles faced in the same direction. Years later in a sociology class I learned about "tea rooms" and realized that that's what it was.

    Seen kids passed out on the floor at raves a couple times, with people pissing on them and all that, and running their pockets. Very un-PLURish.

    My sister works as a tickettaker on the railroad, she said there was this one person who they could never catch, he'd (assuming it's a he) go in the bathroom on the train and smear what looked like a weeks worth of shit all over the wall.

    Saw a girl getting done by 4 guys in a bathroom at a party once, then found out a couple years later she jetted to Italy and joined a convent. Couldn't figure that one out.



  • highschool age... and im at the movies on shattuck with some homies. some godawfull movie i cant remember... amd im fucking with this bottle of mad dog 20/20... halfway through the bottle i gotta piss so i stumble to the bathroom. im doing my business when some dude walks in... silence till he turns to me and says "ever since the shining i havent been able to use the bathroom alone..." kinda a distrubing thing to say coupled with my drunkenness and i freak out... so i break out mid piss effectively peeing on my bathroom companion's shoes and stumble back to the theatre...

  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    nothing worse than having to piss REALLY BAD .....doing the "pee pee walk" up to the only urinal in a small restroom ,unzipping,looking down and seeing an unsually large pile of human shit in the urinal.......then (holding back vomit)racing to the toilet stall and seeing the toilet clogged with too much tissue and two long terds floating around in a continuous circle.......

    what would you do ? i pissed in the sink


  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,471 Posts
    I used to work at Barnes and Noble and one day I went in our bathrooms to take a piss and I hear some shit...I can see mad magazines sticking out from under a stall....So I'm like fuck I aint gonna say shit to this dude what the hell do you say "UHMM Hey like finish up...and get out!" fuck that...any way like 15 minutes later a co worker goes in and dude is still in there... so my barley 5ft. female korean manager goes in the mens room and starts yelling hella loud.."I know what you are doing and I'm calling the cops." Out walks a kid that couldn't be more than 13..with hella random mags..like Playboy , MAaxim and then like Toy enthusiest mags and shit...pretty fucked considering those mags made their way back on the racks.



    I too served time at Barnes & Noble--including a stint as the guy in charge of the newsstand, which meant when dudes would take mags into the bathroom to jerk off, I had to deal with said mags afterward. It was truly horrible. And what was bad was that after a while, I just stopped putting Playboy out on the newsstand because nobody ever bought it, and it always ended up in the bathroom as stroke material, so when faced with a lack of Playboy, motherfuckers would turn to Glamour and Cosmopolitan and, even more distrubingly, shit like Seventeen and YM Eeeewww.



    Not bathroom-related, but we also had a regular "customer" who never bought anything, but he would come in, select a book at random, and absolutely cover it with Vaseline. Like a layer at least an inch thick, plus additional layers on random pages. Then he'd just stick it back on the shelf.

  • I think in NYC theres always been a huge shortage of public bathrooms so we allincluding homeless know the usual spots to do the duty ( or doodie) Starbucks, bars, but my spot is Barnes and Noble. I dont know what it is but these are the only spots i can do what I need to do. I went up in into the one on Astor Place (east vill). The dude who took a shat in there did a straight picasso up in there. I mean on the walls, the mirror, the floor, toilet handle. I dont know what the fuck happened in there but looked like that turd from south park ran up in there. all I could help think about was the poor soul that was gonna clean that up.
    ah I can also write a stories on the shit I seen go down in the unisex bathrooms at the TUNNEL night club.

  • I'm partially responsible for this story - only partially. So a friend of mine lived right across the way from the business building at the local university - his apt. only had one bathroom and alot of times if a lot of people were chilling - which was most of the time - the bathroom would be occupied. So every now and again someone would go across the street to the business building and hit up the bathrooms there. So one day this friend of ours who was constantly having to shit had to do said excursion to the business building. I like to think of the rest as fate.

    For some ungodly reason there just happened to be a small fire axe on the floor and someone on a whim suggested "Wouldn't it be funny if we went into the business building bathroom and scared the shit (no pun intended) out of J****. We all agreed it would. So I had the job of hiding the small axe and smuggling it in and the others kept an eye on things.

    Once in said bathroom - I quietly went into the stall next to his (It was Friday afternoon and the building was empty for the most part.) and waited for a second. I then swung the axe into the side of the bathroom stall he was in severly denting the metal divider between the two stalls. I went to do it again somehow missed - I think due to me laughing so hard - but this miss led the axe directly to the toilet bowl and shit just cracked open and water started pouring out. So I'm ready to hi tail it out of there and my friend grabs the axe and says "one more" - I was dying - he hits the stall door with it and yells "You've been warned!!!" and turns the lights out on our way out. I could barely walk from laughing so hard - It was giving me cramps.

    So about 10 minutes later and after much deduction he came back over and just shook his head at us. "Assholes." Got to give it to him for being a good sport.

    We asked him what happened and he said after about two minutes (He said no way he was leaving with business unfinished.) Someone came in and turned on the lights and yelled "HOLY SHIT!" and ran out. He soon followed.


  • mrpekmrpek 627 Posts

    Not bathroom-related, but we also had a regular "customer" who never bought anything, but he would come in, select a book at random, and absolutely cover it with Vaseline. Like a layer at least an inch thick, plus additional layers on random pages. Then he'd just stick it back on the shelf.

    Like vasoline from strokin or just at random...I have served a lot of time doing book retail and never seen that one...that is some shit man

  • AaronAaron 977 Posts
    I'll never forget the 4-inch wide flapjack in early elementary school.

  • The Mens Room at the Omni during an Outlaws/Foghat concert.

    I was gonna make this my location but naw.

  • GrafwritahGrafwritah 4,184 Posts
    I generally avoid public restrooms at all costs.

    However if I had to put my finger on something disturbing, it would be the fact that every gas station restroom from the Ohio River south to Florida is set up as a gay fuck corkboard. Ick.

  • twoplytwoply Only Built 4 Manzanita Links 2,914 Posts
    I knew another dude who told me had his sh*t pierced. Dude said he had a thick ring in the urethra that curls up and either right into or just past the head.

    I was straight like

    you may want to pick another emoticon

    PASUE of the week, dude.

  • TheMackTheMack 3,414 Posts
    on wednesday in the locker room bathroom at my school, the one toilet had a bloody shit in it. that was pretty gross. also, a couple years ago at my high school, someone stuffed up all the toilets and urinals in the bathroosm right by the lunch room, water was atleast 1/2" high and was running into the lunch room

  • GrafwritahGrafwritah 4,184 Posts
    How about worms, you ever had worms?

  • behemothbehemoth 2,189 Posts
    i saw a sex act taking place

    and it wasnt of the heterosexual kind

  • akoako https://soundcloud.com/a-ko 3,413 Posts
    this may seem rather odd, but one time in high school a good friend of mine had a "hilarious idea"...

    he went into the facutly bathroom, took a shit, grabbed it and wrote "SEND HELP" on the wall with it. that still gets me pretty bad.

    apparently later he overheard a staff member saying something about "if i ever get my hands on whoever did that..." or some shit..hahaha

  • ElectrodeElectrode Los Angeles 3,085 Posts


    he went into the facutly bathroom, took a shit, grabbed it and wrote "SEND HELP" on the wall with it. that still gets me pretty bad.





    HAHAHAHAHA!!! I've seen some crazy bathroom graffiti before. Almost any resturaunt public toilet room in Southern California has wall-to-wall racially charged, sharpie marker "battles". Several months ago, I saw one at a Del Taco (where you have to insert a washer from the front counter or a quarter into a lock device to gain access. Isn't that some shit...) Anyway, it went something along the lines of:



    Armenian Pride

    Fuck that - Irish pride

    Mexican Pride




    and so on and so on...



    near the bottom was a message written in a blood-like substance "Can't just get along" (???) with a poorly drawn middle finger jesture scrawled in pencil next to it.



    Oh yeah, speaking of resturaunt bathrooms, I remember the time when I was much younger when I saw Richard "Mr. Belding" Haskins sitting on the toilet for a couple of seconds before I quickly shut the door back closed (the door indicated that it was vacant) and also after he walked out. Oddly enough, this was the same resturaunt in Burbank that was used for the beginning and end in "Pulp Fiction".


  • aegisaegis 261 Posts


    Oh yeah, speaking of resturaunt bathrooms, I remember the time when I was much younger when I saw Richard "Mr. Belding" Haskins sitting on the toilet for a couple of seconds before I quickly shut the door back closed (the door indicated that it was vacant) and also after he walked out. Oddly enough, this was the same resturaunt in Burbank that was used for the beginning and end in "Pulp Fiction".

    I think that wins the "celebrity in a public bathroom" award, although a friend of mine's father used a urinal next to Fidel Castro. I am not sure whether it was public.

  • I was in the bathroom of this local bar, when a wasted girl came in draggin this guy buy his shirt, she says hi as she walks in and pulls the guy in to one of the stalls (the kind where you can still see someone's head and feet). So i see the girl dropping to her knees and starts to give this lucky bastard some head, when 2 other dudes walk in and one of them starts yelling WTF are you doing with my girlfriend you asshole? (Dude looked like he was crying) The girl opens the stall and this guy is standing there with his hard dick in his hand and gets slapped around before he runs out. The girl pulls her 'boyfriend' in to the stall and just drops to her knees again, this shit was disturbing enough but the most fucked up part was after like 15 minutes i was in the bar next door where a band just finished playing and i was talking with one of the dudes from the band, and i was telling him about the weird shit i just witnessed in the other bar..Then that same chick comes in to this bar and walks straight up to the dude i'm talking to and gives him a kiss on the lips and he introduces her to me as his girlfriend!!


  • GrafwritahGrafwritah 4,184 Posts
    I was in the bathroom of this local bar, when a wasted girl came in draggin this guy buy his shirt, she says hi as she walks in and pulls the guy in to one of the stalls (the kind where you can still see someone's head and feet). So i see the girl dropping to her knees and starts to give this lucky bastard some head, when 2 other dudes walk in and one of them starts yelling WTF are you doing with my girlfriend you asshole? (Dude looked like he was crying) The girl opens the stall and this guy is standing there with his hard dick in his hand and gets slapped around before he runs out. The girl pulls her 'boyfriend' in to the stall and just drops to her knees again, this shit was disturbing enough but the most fucked up part was after like 15 minutes i was in the bar next door where a band just finished playing and i was talking with one of the dudes from the band, and i was telling him about the weird shit i just witnessed in the other bar..Then that same chick comes in to this bar and walks straight up to the dude i'm talking to and gives him a kiss on the lips and he introduces her to me as his girlfriend!!


    Grade A disgusting.

  • canonicalcanonical 2,100 Posts
    Does anyone know/remember the Meastro Fresh Wes "Billy Ocean" bathroom story?

    I heard it once a whiel ago and it was fucking hillarious. I can't really remember, so if anyone else knows, plaese to tell. If not, I'll try my rendition in the morning.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,471 Posts

    Not bathroom-related, but we also had a regular "customer" who never bought anything, but he would come in, select a book at random, and absolutely cover it with Vaseline. Like a layer at least an inch thick, plus additional layers on random pages. Then he'd just stick it back on the shelf.

    Like vasoline from strokin or just at random...I have served a lot of time doing book retail and never seen that one...that is some shit man

    Just at random--no stroking. Well, it wasn't really random, the guy did it on purpose and repeatedly, but that's all he did. One of my coworkers caught him, but out of sheer fascination, he watched the guy for a minute first. Apparently, he has the largest tub of Vaseline ever. Like, the Big Gulp of Vaseline. And he would just flip open the book and smear the page, flip to another random page, smear it, do this a few times, then cover the entire outside. Very strange, though in the big scheme of things, he was a better case to deal with than dudes wacking off in the bathroom.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    The dude who took a shat in there did a straight picasso up in there.


    LOL



  • The one I was referring to is called an "Ampallang," which goes sideways right through the head. Like, over an inch of nerve endings and skin. Google that shit. (The funniest thing is, when you get the piercing they have to pick a rod that is the appropriate length. So they mark where the needle will penetrate, then give you a pair of calipers and ask you to go in the bathroom and get yourself erect, then measure the distance between the two points. It's funny to be sitting in the waiting room and see dudes come out of the bathroom holding this pair of calipers all self-conscious like....)

    just kind of curious, why would you want to have metal pierced through your penis ?

    i don't have that many disgusting bathroom stories, but one time i saw written on the wall of a stall at UCLA "free saddam". i thought that was funny if that is direction the left has taken at college campuses. i mean it's hard to say if it's just one random dude or a whole group of people who feel that.



  • The one I was referring to is called an "Ampallang," which goes sideways right through the head. Like, over an inch of nerve endings and skin. Google that shit. (The funniest thing is, when you get the piercing they have to pick a rod that is the appropriate length. So they mark where the needle will penetrate, then give you a pair of calipers and ask you to go in the bathroom and get yourself erect, then measure the distance between the two points. It's funny to be sitting in the waiting room and see dudes come out of the bathroom holding this pair of calipers all self-conscious like....)

    just kind of curious, why would you want to have metal pierced through your penis ?

    i don't have that many disgusting bathroom stories, but one time i saw written on the wall of a stall at UCLA "free saddam". i thought that was funny if that is direction the left has taken at college campuses. i mean it's hard to say if it's just one random dude or a whole group of people who feel that.

    Maybe it was his homie Saddam who got caught graffiti writing.



  • just kind of curious, why would you want to have metal pierced through your penis ?


  • Two Quickies that happened to friends:

    Its my friends 14th birthday at Magic Mountain. he goes into a stall, a guy busts into it, pulls down his pants and says "Touch it."

    Another friend's parents had hired some people to put in a bathroom in the garage. For whatever reason, the workers shit all over the place, in the sink, on the floor -- everywhere except the toilet. My friend's mom paid him forty bucks to clean it up, and he did.



  • I'm bi-curious, why would you want to have metal pierced through your penis ?



    Dude, take that shit to the PMs.



  • I'm interested in "jazzing up" my penis, should I get metal pierced through it ?





  • Dude, take that shit to the PMs.

    Now THAT would be creepy..

  • ever been to a music festival?
    thats the most fucked up shit I've seen.
    oh and a used tampax.
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