The following happened a little while ago. It was one of my first days on the job when the CEO comes over to my desk, introduces himself, and starts talking about some serious matters. Everything is going fine until he farts, and just keeps talking like nothing ever happened. He doesnt excuse himself, apologize, laughs, or anything. He just kept right on talking. There was no question as to who did it, and Im sure he was embarrased as all hell too. Here he is trying to lay down the law, and he farts infront of his newest employee. I had to use every ounce of strength to keep a straight face. Torture.
We STILL do this at my job, dudes are damn near 45 years old handing farts around. We call it "The King" though, named after the Burger King commercials where The King brings a hamburger from behind his back and hands it to you. Hence, "OHHH, SWEEN DID THE KING!!!".
Every one at work has a pose or two that they execute when they are coming with a loud one. I got three, besides The King. I do the Heisman, where I form a perfect Heisman Trophy pose and present my gift when the arm reaches full extension.
I also enjoy The Crane. When I execute The Crane in a roomful of co-workers someone will undoubtedly shout "Sweep the leg". The key to executing poses is to dramatically form your pose and be as sweeping in your motion as possible, and then when the pose reaches full maturity you demonstrate your scent of the day.
Whutchu know about the Bandleader? I don't think anyone does this one, it takes planning. You gotta be able to walk into a room KNOWING your gonna fart when you get in there, and come in the room HIGHSTEPPING and pumping your arms (or playing air-trumpet with the body twisting side-to-side) like you're leading Grambling out onto the field. And when the time is right to blow the tubas, you absolutely freeze with a look on your face like you just won the lottery. Once dudes know about the Bandleader, you come in a room in full execution and people scramble because they don't know when or where you're gonna order up the horns.
Those are my moves, you can borrow them.
My most memorable fart though, besides all of the times I cleared out my meeting room of 25 people, was the time I prevented an ENTIRE GARAGE FULL of 80 technicians from entering the building. We came into my job one day, and all the work crews go into their rooms and sit down when all of a sudden the union boss comes in and asks to speak to all of us out in the main truck parking area. AWESOME!! 80 people all file through this one door into the hangar, and I'm the last one out so I just hang back and stand by the door. I'm giggling to myself knowing that I'm either gonna blast these fools out there or wait until we get back in the room....then it dawns on me. I'm at the door! Everyone has to walk right by where I'm standing to get back to the rooms!!
I held that thing in for close to 5 minutes or so. I had a feeling that the spech was winding down, and timed it perfectly...let a ninja slip out, but nah dude, not in the normal way. I straight up lifted my leg and pulled my asscheek open, and did this thing with my breathing and stomach where I push out more air. I heard the WHOOSH, then shook the cheek a bit to get it going. It hit right away since I was under an air vent, and I opened the door and held it for people to go inside.
The first two got through but covered up their noses and broke into a frightened trot, then as people were getting near and it was spreading from the air vent and I was standing there laughing the whoooole crowd let out a "ohhhhhh ewwww Sweeennnnn whaaa the fucccckk" while I got tears in my eyes CACKLING at the crowd. Some people ran back and didn't catch any, but I'd say about 40 half the group up front caught the vapors. And they all waited a few minutes to come back in.
The even better part was we had some new people who had just transferred into the garage the week before, that was their first introduction to me.
I played poker the night before and drank a whole bottle of Shiraz by myself and ate all these Guacamole doritos, plus some homemade chocolate chips cookies and this cheese thing. Haven't been able to replicate the concoction since then, it must have been just some magic in the air. Really I have no way of describing the smell, but let me just say that I've been smelling my farts for a long-ass time and I was baffled by the odor I produced that day. It was almost chemical, like a weapon. That was the day i got the name Chernobyl Butt.
-Sween.
I forgot to add the following....
I was getting hungry so I forgot a few things, I was going to explain a few of my co-workers moves, like the Hamburgler, the Matador, and the Jesus. Also I forgot to mention the fact that some of us after succesfully executing a pose will immediately state the name of the pose. (I started that trend of course). I'll perform The Crane, then look at Timmy and just say with some emphasis "The Craaaane". Another thing is to add on what you ate that caused the disruption..."HEISMAN (always said with some more force)...TURKEY".
Hamburgler, this dude will sneak up on a couple people having a conversation giggling the whole way, audibly do his business, then sneak away just as fast giggling loudly. Leaves dudes scattering muttering "Fuckin hamburgler, I hate that one"...
The Matador is a simple and elegant move where dude walks into the move, does a spin into an OLE' type freeze and gets loose. Sometimes he'll smoothly say with a spanish accent "Matadoooor". I love that shit, so mysterious.
The Jesus does his business BEFORE his pose, so when everyone turns to see who ripped one he breaks into the dance that Jesus did in The Big Lebowski to that spanish version of Hotel California after he rolled the strike. Dudes got it down.
Anyone on here like to spot the little kid in the convenience store or deli or wherever, the one whose face is ass height, and get him right in his face? I made a kid cry doing that once. Your alibi is "I didn't know he was there".
Some of the real most memorable farts are the first date movie farts, where you hold it until the bathroom afterwards then break into chorus with all the other dudes who held it also. That's a room full of dudes who trust each other.
We STILL do this at my job, dudes are damn near 45 years old handing farts around. We call it "The King" though, named after the Burger King commercials where The King brings a hamburger from behind his back and hands it to you. Hence, "OHHH, SWEEN DID THE KING!!!".
Every one at work has a pose or two that they execute when they are coming with a loud one. I got three, besides The King. I do the Heisman, where I form a perfect Heisman Trophy pose and present my gift when the arm reaches full extension.
I also enjoy The Crane. When I execute The Crane in a roomful of co-workers someone will undoubtedly shout "Sweep the leg". The key to executing poses is to dramatically form your pose and be as sweeping in your motion as possible, and then when the pose reaches full maturity you demonstrate your scent of the day.
Whutchu know about the Bandleader? I don't think anyone does this one, it takes planning. You gotta be able to walk into a room KNOWING your gonna fart when you get in there, and come in the room HIGHSTEPPING and pumping your arms (or playing air-trumpet with the body twisting side-to-side) like you're leading Grambling out onto the field. And when the time is right to blow the tubas, you absolutely freeze with a look on your face like you just won the lottery. Once dudes know about the Bandleader, you come in a room in full execution and people scramble because they don't know when or where you're gonna order up the horns.
Those are my moves, you can borrow them.
My most memorable fart though, besides all of the times I cleared out my meeting room of 25 people, was the time I prevented an ENTIRE GARAGE FULL of 80 technicians from entering the building. We came into my job one day, and all the work crews go into their rooms and sit down when all of a sudden the union boss comes in and asks to speak to all of us out in the main truck parking area. AWESOME!! 80 people all file through this one door into the hangar, and I'm the last one out so I just hang back and stand by the door. I'm giggling to myself knowing that I'm either gonna blast these fools out there or wait until we get back in the room....then it dawns on me. I'm at the door! Everyone has to walk right by where I'm standing to get back to the rooms!!
I held that thing in for close to 5 minutes or so. I had a feeling that the spech was winding down, and timed it perfectly...let a ninja slip out, but nah dude, not in the normal way. I straight up lifted my leg and pulled my asscheek open, and did this thing with my breathing and stomach where I push out more air. I heard the WHOOSH, then shook the cheek a bit to get it going. It hit right away since I was under an air vent, and I opened the door and held it for people to go inside.
The first two got through but covered up their noses and broke into a frightened trot, then as people were getting near and it was spreading from the air vent and I was standing there laughing the whoooole crowd let out a "ohhhhhh ewwww Sweeennnnn whaaa the fucccckk" while I got tears in my eyes CACKLING at the crowd. Some people ran back and didn't catch any, but I'd say about 40 half the group up front caught the vapors. And they all waited a few minutes to come back in.
The even better part was we had some new people who had just transferred into the garage the week before, that was their first introduction to me.
I played poker the night before and drank a whole bottle of Shiraz by myself and ate all these Guacamole doritos, plus some homemade chocolate chips cookies and this cheese thing. Haven't been able to replicate the concoction since then, it must have been just some magic in the air. Really I have no way of describing the smell, but let me just say that I've been smelling my farts for a long-ass time and I was baffled by the odor I produced that day. It was almost chemical, like a weapon. That was the day i got the name Chernobyl Butt.
-Sween.
I forgot to add the following....
I was getting hungry so I forgot a few things, I was going to explain a few of my co-workers moves, like the Hamburgler, the Matador, and the Jesus. Also I forgot to mention the fact that some of us after succesfully executing a pose will immediately state the name of the pose. (I started that trend of course). I'll perform The Crane, then look at Timmy and just say with some emphasis "The Craaaane". Another thing is to add on what you ate that caused the disruption..."HEISMAN (always said with some more force)...TURKEY".
Hamburgler, this dude will sneak up on a couple people having a conversation giggling the whole way, audibly do his business, then sneak away just as fast giggling loudly. Leaves dudes scattering muttering "Fuckin hamburgler, I hate that one"...
The Matador is a simple and elegant move where dude walks into the move, does a spin into an OLE' type freeze and gets loose. Sometimes he'll smoothly say with a spanish accent "Matadoooor". I love that shit, so mysterious.
The Jesus does his business BEFORE his pose, so when everyone turns to see who ripped one he breaks into the dance that Jesus did in The Big Lebowski to that spanish version of Hotel California after he rolled the strike. Dudes got it down.
Anyone on here like to spot the little kid in the convenience store or deli or wherever, the one whose face is ass height, and get him right in his face? I made a kid cry doing that once. Your alibi is "I didn't know he was there".
Some of the real most memorable farts are the first date movie farts, where you hold it until the bathroom afterwards then break into chorus with all the other dudes who held it also. That's a room full of dudes who trust each other.
dude you are a certified lunatic!!! hahahaha i cant stop laughing...
I knew this thread would be special. EVERYONE has at least one fart that is they will never forget. SWEEN RULES! (I didn't even read your posts yet because they are so long, but I already know that you are , hommie!!!)
Goddamn Philmost! i literally laughed out loud on your convience store story.
Mine goes like this:
4th Floor of the library at UC San Diego. Me and my friend (girl) are sitting there studying and all of a sudden the ventilation sound goes out and it's COMPLETELY QUIET. Simultaneously, i felt the urge to let one out. I did, and the sound resonated nicely, as I felt a great deal of accomplishment and my friend was rolling.
Another one is where I was sleeping in the same room with this random dude during college orientation week, and in the morning, i felt the urge to let one rip. so i did. 3 BOMBS! with the third one totally alarming my roommate and waking him the fuck up! as i stay lying there, glancing with my half-wide open, over to my bewildered roommate. then we both woke up, he asked me "DID YOU HEAR A LOUD SOUND IN THE MORNING?!" and ofcourse i played it off like "naw...really?!"
Farting was an involuntary and "natural circumstance", a judge said yesterday in dismissing a conviction against a man who "let the flatulence escape" in a public place.
David Paul Grixti, 28, of Werribee, was fined $200 in the Werribee Magistrates Court earlier this year for offensive behavior after he bent over and passed wind in the presence of a police officer and another man. He appealed against the decision in the County Court yesterday.
Amid muffled laughter, Judge Leslie Ross was told how Mr Grixti walked towards the Werribee police station watchhouse counter on August 13 last year and, after being asked if he needed help, "poked the rear end of his body out" and broke wind.
Senior Constable Shane Andrew Binns alleged that Mr Grixti was looking directly at him as he did this, but said that when he called him over, "he just looked at me and walked out the door".
Senior Constable Binns, now stationed at Geelong, and a second witness told the court that they were "disgusted" by Mr Grixti's actions, and believed that the act - which, it was said, left a stench in the station - was intentional.
In dismissing the case as a waste of time, Judge Ross said there was no evidence to convince him beyond reasonable doubt that this was true.
He said passing wind was "quite often involuntary" and just because a person bent over to make the situation "a little more comfortable" it did not prove that it was deliberate.
"I don't believe ... you can turn that particular piece of human behavior on at will," he said.
How's that - getting taken to court over a fart!!
I'm surprised none of you have used your "talents of the posterior" to clear out a stall at a record fair!
I did a fart that smelt of burning tyres this evening - never ever created one like this before, its a foulsome stench which still has not left the flat...
back in the day i used to fart in my hand, cup it... and then hand it to a someone's face like it was a gift...
We used to do this when I spent some time in the line shack in the Navy, we called it the 'cupinheimer'
We STILL do this at my job, dudes are damn near 45 years old handing farts around. We call it "The King" though, named after the Burger King commercials where The King brings a hamburger from behind his back and hands it to you. Hence, "OHHH, SWEEN DID THE KING!!!".
Every one at work has a pose or two that they execute when they are coming with a loud one. I got three, besides The King. I do the Heisman, where I form a perfect Heisman Trophy pose and present my gift when the arm reaches full extension.
I also enjoy The Crane. When I execute The Crane in a roomful of co-workers someone will undoubtedly shout "Sweep the leg". The key to executing poses is to dramatically form your pose and be as sweeping in your motion as possible, and then when the pose reaches full maturity you demonstrate your scent of the day.
Whutchu know about the Bandleader? I don't think anyone does this one, it takes planning. You gotta be able to walk into a room KNOWING your gonna fart when you get in there, and come in the room HIGHSTEPPING and pumping your arms (or playing air-trumpet with the body twisting side-to-side) like you're leading Grambling out onto the field. And when the time is right to blow the tubas, you absolutely freeze with a look on your face like you just won the lottery. Once dudes know about the Bandleader, you come in a room in full execution and people scramble because they don't know when or where you're gonna order up the horns.
Those are my moves, you can borrow them.
My most memorable fart though, besides all of the times I cleared out my meeting room of 25 people, was the time I prevented an ENTIRE GARAGE FULL of 80 technicians from entering the building. We came into my job one day, and all the work crews go into their rooms and sit down when all of a sudden the union boss comes in and asks to speak to all of us out in the main truck parking area. AWESOME!! 80 people all file through this one door into the hangar, and I'm the last one out so I just hang back and stand by the door. I'm giggling to myself knowing that I'm either gonna blast these fools out there or wait until we get back in the room....then it dawns on me. I'm at the door! Everyone has to walk right by where I'm standing to get back to the rooms!!
I held that thing in for close to 5 minutes or so. I had a feeling that the spech was winding down, and timed it perfectly...let a ninja slip out, but nah dude, not in the normal way. I straight up lifted my leg and pulled my asscheek open, and did this thing with my breathing and stomach where I push out more air. I heard the WHOOSH, then shook the cheek a bit to get it going. It hit right away since I was under an air vent, and I opened the door and held it for people to go inside.
The first two got through but covered up their noses and broke into a frightened trot, then as people were getting near and it was spreading from the air vent and I was standing there laughing the whoooole crowd let out a "ohhhhhh ewwww Sweeennnnn whaaa the fucccckk" while I got tears in my eyes CACKLING at the crowd. Some people ran back and didn't catch any, but I'd say about 40 half the group up front caught the vapors. And they all waited a few minutes to come back in.
The even better part was we had some new people who had just transferred into the garage the week before, that was their first introduction to me.
I played poker the night before and drank a whole bottle of Shiraz by myself and ate all these Guacamole doritos, plus some homemade chocolate chips cookies and this cheese thing. Haven't been able to replicate the concoction since then, it must have been just some magic in the air. Really I have no way of describing the smell, but let me just say that I've been smelling my farts for a long-ass time and I was baffled by the odor I produced that day. It was almost chemical, like a weapon. That was the day i got the name Chernobyl Butt.
I was in 10th grade in my history class that came right after our lunch period. So - with already having a reputation as being the pungent one - I laid out a one-cheek-sneak that was quite silent but was apparently quite hurrendous. There's a bit of an uproar - and the teacher stops the class and says she won't continue our test review until whoever laid the oil comes out and fesses up. So everyone turns to me and I go and apologize. She's furious. She tells the dean. She wants me expelled. My parents are furious with the school. We win. The CRAZY thing about the whole situation is that the same teacher who threatened me with expulsion expelled only one other person at her 20 - something years at the school (and think she's still teaching) - Paul Thomas Anderson. Looks like I'm on the right track.
I was flying to New York about 2 months ago and I don't know what I had eaten but something was dead inside me apparently. So I keep nmaking these absolutely disgusting smells - the kinds that burn a hole in your face. Anyway after letting about 7 go - I hear from a few rows up "Hey - whoever is dropping bombs go to the fucking bathroom. I mean jesus what the fuck man." yelled. I was pretty psyched on myself needless to say.
Me and my moms was at a "Family Style" Restaurant. It crazy packed. I was probably about 13 years old. Moms goes and tells me a story about her being on a train in Europe and they gave her a sandwich that was like rubber. When she bit into it she pulled it back real far and still couldnt get a bite of it.
I dont know why but I found that shit hilarious. I started laughing hysterically and then I let the biggest fart of my life (still to this day). Everyone stopped and looked at me. The waitress said "SOunds like someone got gas"
no! really? Bitch.
I was soo embarrassed. Its funny now.
I don't have any really funny stories, but I remember once unleashing a fart that lasted 2 minutes and reduced my weight by at least 2 pounds once it was over.
Two nights ago and I had the worst case of farts I can ever remember (illness and asian food related). 9 hours straight of mega blasts. The smell was so bad it actually woke me up. Never had that happen.
Last fall, I'm in the process of getting with Ally Dale, the finest of the fine. It was big around school cuz I'm the weird bearded sophomore cat and she's probably the most popular (hottest) girl in school. Shit's getting serious to the point of me actually being her man when one of my friends spots her smoochin on some other cat, which obviously had me a little heartbroken (only because she's THAT fine). Next day in second hour, I hear her talking about this new dude and I want to choke the bitch out. I turn around to talk to somebody and I hear a wetgurglebasslinetohornsqueak, only to turn back around notice girlies face is flush. I'm talkin apple red. Of course everybody's asking who did it, and after just telling my man the story, he actually stands up and points and laughs at her, which brings on an onslaught of pointing/laughing/jokes. I felt better
back in the day i used to fart in my hand, cup it... and then hand it to a someone's face like it was a gift...
We used to do this when I spent some time in the line shack in the Navy, we called it the 'cupinheimer'
We STILL do this at my job, dudes are damn near 45 years old handing farts around. We call it "The King" though, named after the Burger King commercials where The King brings a hamburger from behind his back and hands it to you. Hence, "OHHH, SWEEN DID THE KING!!!".
Every one at work has a pose or two that they execute when they are coming with a loud one. I got three, besides The King. I do the Heisman, where I form a perfect Heisman Trophy pose and present my gift when the arm reaches full extension.
I also enjoy The Crane. When I execute The Crane in a roomful of co-workers someone will undoubtedly shout "Sweep the leg". The key to executing poses is to dramatically form your pose and be as sweeping in your motion as possible, and then when the pose reaches full maturity you demonstrate your scent of the day.
Whutchu know about the Bandleader? I don't think anyone does this one, it takes planning. You gotta be able to walk into a room KNOWING your gonna fart when you get in there, and come in the room HIGHSTEPPING and pumping your arms (or playing air-trumpet with the body twisting side-to-side) like you're leading Grambling out onto the field. And when the time is right to blow the tubas, you absolutely freeze with a look on your face like you just won the lottery. Once dudes know about the Bandleader, you come in a room in full execution and people scramble because they don't know when or where you're gonna order up the horns.
Those are my moves, you can borrow them.
My most memorable fart though, besides all of the times I cleared out my meeting room of 25 people, was the time I prevented an ENTIRE GARAGE FULL of 80 technicians from entering the building. We came into my job one day, and all the work crews go into their rooms and sit down when all of a sudden the union boss comes in and asks to speak to all of us out in the main truck parking area. AWESOME!! 80 people all file through this one door into the hangar, and I'm the last one out so I just hang back and stand by the door. I'm giggling to myself knowing that I'm either gonna blast these fools out there or wait until we get back in the room....then it dawns on me. I'm at the door! Everyone has to walk right by where I'm standing to get back to the rooms!!
I held that thing in for close to 5 minutes or so. I had a feeling that the spech was winding down, and timed it perfectly...let a ninja slip out, but nah dude, not in the normal way. I straight up lifted my leg and pulled my asscheek open, and did this thing with my breathing and stomach where I push out more air. I heard the WHOOSH, then shook the cheek a bit to get it going. It hit right away since I was under an air vent, and I opened the door and held it for people to go inside.
The first two got through but covered up their noses and broke into a frightened trot, then as people were getting near and it was spreading from the air vent and I was standing there laughing the whoooole crowd let out a "ohhhhhh ewwww Sweeennnnn whaaa the fucccckk" while I got tears in my eyes CACKLING at the crowd. Some people ran back and didn't catch any, but I'd say about 40 half the group up front caught the vapors. And they all waited a few minutes to come back in.
The even better part was we had some new people who had just transferred into the garage the week before, that was their first introduction to me.
I played poker the night before and drank a whole bottle of Shiraz by myself and ate all these Guacamole doritos, plus some homemade chocolate chips cookies and this cheese thing. Haven't been able to replicate the concoction since then, it must have been just some magic in the air. Really I have no way of describing the smell, but let me just say that I've been smelling my farts for a long-ass time and I was baffled by the odor I produced that day. It was almost chemical, like a weapon. That was the day i got the name Chernobyl Butt.
-Sween.
oh my god. best post evar. i'm crying.
wow. thanks for reviving this thread. this post is
I'd thought I'd never find a place to tell my fart story.
I was in the 10th grade in driver's ed class (back when Cali had money for it in their budget), sitting in the back of the class. Well, I was falling asleep and yup, while I was sleeping a fart came out.
I looked up and it was crazy. A few classmates looked back and started to laugh. Some gave this, "oh my god." And the rest didn't even look back.
my best is waking my wife up one night...with the smell. not the sound; the smell.
Sween is pretty :gameova: here, though.
One night about 2 years ago I awoke to the sound of my girlfriend giggling. Turns out she was in the middle of a pleasant dream when all of a sudden she cranked a out massive grumbler (in her dream), the "Dutch Oven" was bad enough to wake her up!
Comments
hahaaa. better yet, asian temples!! haha
fools be
I forgot to add the following....
I was getting hungry so I forgot a few things, I was going to explain a few of my co-workers moves, like the Hamburgler, the Matador, and the Jesus. Also I forgot to mention the fact that some of us after succesfully executing a pose will immediately state the name of the pose. (I started that trend of course). I'll perform The Crane, then look at Timmy and just say with some emphasis "The Craaaane". Another thing is to add on what you ate that caused the disruption..."HEISMAN (always said with some more force)...TURKEY".
Hamburgler, this dude will sneak up on a couple people having a conversation giggling the whole way, audibly do his business, then sneak away just as fast giggling loudly. Leaves dudes scattering muttering "Fuckin hamburgler, I hate that one"...
The Matador is a simple and elegant move where dude walks into the move, does a spin into an OLE' type freeze and gets loose. Sometimes he'll smoothly say with a spanish accent "Matadoooor". I love that shit, so mysterious.
The Jesus does his business BEFORE his pose, so when everyone turns to see who ripped one he breaks into the dance that Jesus did in The Big Lebowski to that spanish version of Hotel California after he rolled the strike. Dudes got it down.
Anyone on here like to spot the little kid in the convenience store or deli or wherever, the one whose face is ass height, and get him right in his face? I made a kid cry doing that once. Your alibi is "I didn't know he was there".
Some of the real most memorable farts are the first date movie farts, where you hold it until the bathroom afterwards then break into chorus with all the other dudes who held it also. That's a room full of dudes who trust each other.
dude you are a certified lunatic!!! hahahaha i cant stop laughing...
Mine goes like this:
4th Floor of the library at UC San Diego. Me and my friend (girl) are sitting there studying and all of a sudden the ventilation sound goes out and it's COMPLETELY QUIET. Simultaneously, i felt the urge to let one out. I did, and the sound resonated nicely, as I felt a great deal of accomplishment and my friend was rolling.
Another one is where I was sleeping in the same room with this random dude during college orientation week, and in the morning, i felt the urge to let one rip. so i did. 3 BOMBS! with the third one totally alarming my roommate and waking him the fuck up! as i stay lying there, glancing with my half-wide open, over to my bewildered roommate. then we both woke up, he asked me "DID YOU HEAR A LOUD SOUND IN THE MORNING?!" and ofcourse i played it off like "naw...really?!"
"Fart for fart's sake, the judge declares
By FARRAH TOMAZIN
Friday 7 September 2001
Farting was an involuntary and "natural circumstance", a judge said yesterday in dismissing a conviction against a man who "let the flatulence escape" in a public place.
David Paul Grixti, 28, of Werribee, was fined $200 in the Werribee Magistrates Court earlier this year for offensive behavior after he bent over and passed wind in the presence of a police officer and another man. He appealed against the decision in the County Court yesterday.
Amid muffled laughter, Judge Leslie Ross was told how Mr Grixti walked towards the Werribee police station watchhouse counter on August 13 last year and, after being asked if he needed help, "poked the rear end of his body out" and broke wind.
Senior Constable Shane Andrew Binns alleged that Mr Grixti was looking directly at him as he did this, but said that when he called him over, "he just looked at me and walked out the door".
Senior Constable Binns, now stationed at Geelong, and a second witness told the court that they were "disgusted" by Mr Grixti's actions, and believed that the act - which, it was said, left a stench in the station - was intentional.
In dismissing the case as a waste of time, Judge Ross said there was no evidence to convince him beyond reasonable doubt that this was true.
He said passing wind was "quite often involuntary" and just because a person bent over to make the situation "a little more comfortable" it did not prove that it was deliberate.
"I don't believe ... you can turn that particular piece of human behavior on at will," he said.
How's that - getting taken to court over a fart!!
I'm surprised none of you have used your "talents of the posterior" to clear out a stall at a record fair!
Those dudes are immune... or cutting one themselves... there's a war going on outside, no man is safe from
Btw I do not have *one* story. I clear rooms, cars, etc on a pretty regular basis. Bad customers at the shop get a special present.
You gotta get it out the way early in a relationship.
http://www.mrmethane.com/
and from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"
oh my god. best post evar. i'm crying.
I was in 10th grade in my history class that came right after our lunch period. So - with already having a reputation as being the pungent one - I laid out a one-cheek-sneak that was quite silent but was apparently quite hurrendous. There's a bit of an uproar - and the teacher stops the class and says she won't continue our test review until whoever laid the oil comes out and fesses up. So everyone turns to me and I go and apologize. She's furious. She tells the dean. She wants me expelled. My parents are furious with the school. We win.
The CRAZY thing about the whole situation is that the same teacher who threatened me with expulsion expelled only one other person at her 20 - something years at the school (and think she's still teaching) - Paul Thomas Anderson. Looks like I'm on the right track.
I was flying to New York about 2 months ago and I don't know what I had eaten but something was dead inside me apparently. So I keep nmaking these absolutely disgusting smells - the kinds that burn a hole in your face. Anyway after letting about 7 go - I hear from a few rows up "Hey - whoever is dropping bombs go to the fucking bathroom. I mean jesus what the fuck man." yelled. I was pretty psyched on myself needless to say.
I don't have any really funny stories, but I remember once unleashing a fart that lasted 2 minutes and reduced my weight by at least 2 pounds once it was over.
SG
DAAAAM son! you might need to get the white glove test... them schitts aint suppossed to hurt or make reptilian sounds
And just for the record, btav has the worst smelling farts that I have ever encountered.
I have been trapped many-a-time in his presence.
Dance floor clears out, and DJ even caught a whiff and says "not cool".
I guess thats what happens after a day of only pizza and about 30 cans of Bud.
the biggest
wow.
thanks for reviving this thread. this post is
Sween is pretty :gameova: here, though.
I was in the 10th grade in driver's ed class (back when Cali had money for it in their budget), sitting in the back of the class. Well, I was falling asleep and yup, while I was sleeping a fart came out.
I looked up and it was crazy. A few classmates looked back and started to laugh. Some gave this, "oh my god." And the rest didn't even look back.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
That story about you dropping the bomb on the cashier and just deciding to leave is too funny.
One night about 2 years ago I awoke to the sound of my girlfriend giggling. Turns out she was in the middle of a pleasant dream when all of a sudden she cranked a out massive grumbler (in her dream), the "Dutch Oven" was bad enough to wake her up!
PS...it was probably me though.