when the TP runs out...

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  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21it is your job as a human to make sure there is enough TP for a session as well as a back up roll just in case... b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21Seriously. And not just one extra roll. We usually keep around 70+ rolls of toilet paper in my household. It's always a good idea to be extra, extra prepared, just in case of an emergency of some sort or a natural disaster or something. I mean, if you live in a country like the USA or Canada, you have absolutely no excuse to not have all the requisite cleaning and personal hygiene supplies around, that's how plagues started.b, 21b, 21I usually keep a roll in my car with the roadside kit too, just in case I ever need to drop anchor out of home port.

  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21 b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/funnypost.gif" alt="" 21b, 21I always think of this part when I "rock the deuce" in a public shitter.

  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21"ahhing," "squirting," "farting," etc. b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21^^^location alert?

  • PrimeCutsLtdPrimeCutsLtd jersey fresh 2,632 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21And I go in prepared with a damp paper towel for that extra freshness. b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21Is this everytime or just when you feel a blow out coming?b, 21b, 21The damp paper towel is some advanced preparedness. I like that.

  • If I find myself out of TP I use Kleenex tissues. No biggie.

  • canonicalcanonical 2,100 Posts
    You guys are complaining about moaning in the washrooms? Thrice at WFMU I went to the shitter and there were dudes having cell phone conversations in the next stall. One was giving some fucked up advice to their friend about sex.

  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21You guys are complaining about moaning in the washrooms? Thrice at WFMU I went to the shitter and there were dudes having cell phone conversations in the next stall. One was giving some fucked up advice to their friend about sex. b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21b, 21At the paper where I work. it's not unusual to see salespeople standing at the urinal, taking a leak and talking to clients on the cell phone.b, 21b, 21b, 21b/wb, 21b, 21b, 21When you run out of TP, that's what the box of tissues on the back of the toilet is for.

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21You guys are complaining about moaning in the washrooms? Thrice at WFMU I went to the shitter and there were dudes having cell phone conversations in the next stall. One was giving some fucked up advice to their friend about sex. b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21Hey,b, 21b, 21Another bad situation was back in the day when pops would run out of tissue and yell, "P****k, bring me some toilet paper." I'd have to reach in and hand it to him, and feel like Craig in "Friday's" cause nothing stanks worst than daddy-shit!!! img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/raw.gif" alt="" 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bucs.gif" alt="" 21 His stinky-ass shit sucked up Glade like candy and would stank-up the whole f*ckin' house!!! Plus, that Glade/shit mixture stank worst than the shit by itself. img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ohmyer1.gif" alt="" 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hi.gif" alt="" 21b, 21b, 21Peace,b, 21b, 21Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21How about the "clean clip" where you wipe and there's nothing there? That's always a proud moment.b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21The start of a damn good day.

  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21You guys are complaining about moaning in the washrooms? Thrice at WFMU I went to the shitter and there were dudes having cell phone conversations in the next stall. One was giving some fucked up advice to their friend about sex. b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21Oh shit, that's a whole other beast! NAGL to the absolute fullest. That's what texting is for, motherfucker! You have a smartphone. 5 different ways to communicate. Choose one of the four silent ones, money!b, 21b, 21The only thing you can do in that situation is either blow up the spot with a massive fart/shit followed by a big exaggerated groan (I will condone groaning in this instance) or, if that's not physically possible, wait for a pregnant pause in the conversation and flush. Chances are the person they're talking to knows they're in the shitter, but if you can put the one guy on blast who's trying to keep that fact a secret, you've struck a blow for justice.

  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21At the paper where I work. it's not unusual to see salespeople standing at the urinal, taking a leak and talking to clients on the cell phone.b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21Haha -- it was just like that at the newspaper where I used to work. Folks having the most intimate conversations with their friends and loved ones right in the shitter; nothing like hollering at your shorty while releasing some inner demons. And the thing about is that these grizzled newspaper employees didn't have the best diets, so the soundtrack was fairly bangin'. I gathered that they did this because their phone calls were monitored by a boss, so it was one of the few chances they had to make personal calls. b, 21b, 21One time I ran into one of these people at a strip club... in the bathroom. They said what's up to me and I was like, "How do I know this person? Oh yeah, from the work bathroom!"b, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21The only thing you can do in that situation is either blow up the spot with a massive fart/shit followed by a big exaggerated groan (I will condone groaning in this instance) or, if that's not physically possible, wait for a pregnant pause in the conversation and flush. Chances are the person they're talking to knows they're in the shitter, but if you can put the one guy on blast who's trying to keep that fact a secret, you've struck a blow for justice.b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21Yes! Talk about "blowing up the spot."b, 21b, 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/udoshithr8.gif" alt="" 21

  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21b, 21one of those shits where all the diarrhea is on your balls b, 21 b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 213 pages in an nobody has commented on this. I didn't know this happened, but I am so relieved that I have never shit on my balls. Wow.

  • behemothbehemoth 2,189 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21b, 21one of those shits where all the diarrhea is on your balls b, 21 b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 213 pages in an nobody has commented on this. I didn't know this happened, but I am so relieved that I have never shit on my balls. Wow. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21unless your balls haven't descended i dont know a single person who hasn't experienced splash back....b, 21b, 21you haven't taken a shit so powerful that the brown water leaps back up wetting your balls?b, 21b, 21come on!!b, 21b, 21i don't believe you

  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21b, 21one of those shits where all the diarrhea is on your balls b, 21 b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 213 pages in an nobody has commented on this. I didn't know this happened, but I am so relieved that I have never shit on my balls. Wow. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21I read it the first time but didn't see the word "all" in there. All? Not just a little diarrhea got on your balls, but all of it? Wouldn't you have to be doing a handstand at the time to get all of it in that area?

  • behemothbehemoth 2,189 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21b, 21one of those shits where all the diarrhea is on your balls b, 21 b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 213 pages in an nobody has commented on this. I didn't know this happened, but I am so relieved that I have never shit on my balls. Wow. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21I read it the first time but didn't see the word "all" in there. All? Not just a little diarrhea got on your balls, but all of it? Wouldn't you have to be doing a handstand at the time to get all of it in that area? b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21i didn't mean all of it. i meant all up on your balls!!b, 21b, 21yea all of it where it just sticks to them

  • I know of splashback, but I guess I'm not KRS One of the bowel movements. It's never really happened to me like that. b, 21b, 21I actually read it as you got shit on them on the way down, not a splashback. That's why I was so startled.

  • behemothbehemoth 2,189 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21I know of splashback, but I guess I'm not KRS One of the bowel movements. It's never really happened to me like that. b, 21b, 21I actually read it as you got shit on them on the way down, not a splashback. That's why I was so startled. b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21haha nah splashback! glad we cleared that up

  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21I know of splashback, but I guess I'm not KRS One of the bowel movements.b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21KRS-One has the ability to squeeze off depth charges that can crack ceramic.

  • /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21I know of splashback, but I guess I'm not KRS One of the bowel movements.b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21KRS-One has the ability to squeeze off depth charges that can crack ceramic. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21well, he is the Blastmaster.

  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts
    /font1
    Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21I know of splashback, but I guess I'm not KRS One of the bowel movements.b, 21b, 21h, 21
    b, 21b, 21KRS-One has the ability to squeeze off depth charges that can crack ceramic. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21well, he is the Blastmaster. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/841.gif" alt="" 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/oj.gif" alt="" 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21I know, I was being facetious. I figured it was splashback, which is always a danger. I had to play up the "all the diarrhea on your balls" line because it's pretty img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/melt.gif" alt="" 21
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