NEED HELP, Been Constipated for 2 days, Remedies?
bravearcher
9 Posts
I tried rocking back and forth like Eddie Murphy said but it doesn't seem to work, all I get is a little pebble and I ain't know mercades boy, even Cameo isn't helping Back Back Fourth and Fourth!!! Anyone got any Remedies? 
Comments
Grind, eat, and grab the sports section.
NoDootiebubbles....
eat vegetables, fruit, nuts - fibre, too.
if this doesn't help - you might want to check the health food store for something a little stronger and meant exactly for what's ailing you.
Licorice helps as does this disgusting drink:
1 cup tomato juice
1/2 cup carrot juice
1/2 cup sauerkraut juice
mmmm-mmm good!
"Extremely dense fecal matter can make a dyn-o-mite environment for the accumulation of harmful toxins"
for real though, to get things started - drink prune juice.
even the most discerning eastern europeans might cringe at this one...
I cant believe that this dudes bowel movement habits are taking precedence over a whole nation's plight.
Way to bite my joke....
which reminds me. i used to work at my pop's drug store and these nuns would come in once a month for a dozen enemas.
Yo,
I'm ordering this today!!!!!!!!
Taking a good dump is what's happening.
h
Diarrhea waits for no man.
PS constipated people don't give a shit
enemas & colonics freak me out...I bet that crap hurts. The pics on the colonblow webpage are something else. I bet I'll shit out clumps of undigested meat & gummy bears. They say you'll see stuff in the toilet bowl that will blow your mind.
h
WebMD says
Home Treatment
Constipation can usually be treated effectively at home.
* First:
o Try gentle exercise. Take a short walk each day. Gradually increase your walking time until you are walking for at least 20 minutes.
o Make sure you drink enough fluids. Most adults should try to drink between 8 and 10 glasses of water, noncaffeinated beverages, or fruit juice each day. Avoid alcoholic beverages and caffeine, which can increase dehydration. If you have heart failure or kidney failure, talk to your health professional about what amount of fluid is right for you.
o Include fruits, vegetables, and fiber in your diet each day. Have a bran muffin or bran cereal for breakfast, and try eating a piece of fruit for a mid-afternoon snack.
o Schedule time each day for a bowel movement (after breakfast, for example). Establishing a daily routine may help. Take your time. Don't be in a hurry.
* If you are still constipated:
o Add some processed or synthetic fiber???such as Citrucel, Metamucil, or Perdiem???to your diet each day.
o Try a stool softener, such as Colace, if your stools are very hard.
* If constipation persists, add a saline
* laxative, such as Fleet Phospho-Soda or Milk of Magnesia. You should not take these types of laxatives if you are on a sodium-restricted diet or have kidney problems or high blood pressure. You may occasionally need to try a stimulant laxative, such as Ex-Lax or Feen-a-Mint. Use these preparations sparingly. Regular use may interfere with your body's ability to absorb vitamin D and calcium, which can weaken your bones.
* Overuse of stimulant laxatives decreases the tone and sensation in the large intestine, causing dependence on laxatives. Do not use laxatives for longer than 2 weeks without consulting your health professional.
* Support your feet with a small step stool [about 6 in.(15 cm)] when you sit on the toilet. This will help flex your hips and place your pelvis in a more normal "squatting" position for having a bowel movement.
You must make sure to eat a balanced diet, especially containing roughage (i.e., green leafy vegetables), and drink plenty of water (as others have said). Because I eat right, I've never had problems with shittin'. You could set your watch by my dump schedule, nice and regular. Also, don't forget to "look back" to make sure your shit comes correct (e.g., not blood in stool, tarry color, etc.). Improper stool color, tarriness, and so on are signs of health concerns. Colon-rectal health is some serious shit (no pun intended).
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Did the events in London bring about an overall serious tone or is this subject just a little too easy?
Whichever, I'm honestly impressed.
INSTANT AVATAR & LOCATION COMBO![/b]
lol
my advice:
coffee and ciggarettes.
if you don't smoke:
exercise and eat fruits.
Has anyone actually tried this stuff? It sounds dreamy, but the humor on the site makes me question how serious the product actually is.
Damn, I wanna get the ish outta my bowels... Nasty.
imagine a pipe cleaner...
same here.
I was expecting things like: Take that shit to the-dumps.com