NEED HELP, Been Constipated for 2 days, Remedies?

bravearcherbravearcher 9 Posts
edited July 2005 in Off Topic (NRR)
I tried rocking back and forth like Eddie Murphy said but it doesn't seem to work, all I get is a little pebble and I ain't know mercades boy, even Cameo isn't helping Back Back Fourth and Fourth!!! Anyone got any Remedies?
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  Comments


  • DjArcadianDjArcadian 3,630 Posts
    Orange juice and fiber muffins. Lots of them. Eat salad too.

  • The_Hook_UpThe_Hook_Up 8,182 Posts
    Guiness and vegetarian indian food.

  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts



    Grind, eat, and grab the sports section.

  • el_sparkoel_sparko 884 Posts
    Give Bobby "i specialise in removing" Brown a call....

    NoDootiebubbles....

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    lack of water is the biggest cause - drink lots and lots of water.
    eat vegetables, fruit, nuts - fibre, too.
    if this doesn't help - you might want to check the health food store for something a little stronger and meant exactly for what's ailing you.

    Licorice helps as does this disgusting drink:
    1 cup tomato juice
    1/2 cup carrot juice
    1/2 cup sauerkraut juice

    mmmm-mmm good!

  • prof_rockwellprof_rockwell 2,867 Posts
    The Answer To Your Problems

    "Extremely dense fecal matter can make a dyn-o-mite environment for the accumulation of harmful toxins"

    for real though, to get things started - drink prune juice.

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    1/2 cup sauerkraut juice

    even the most discerning eastern europeans might cringe at this one...

  • Options
    Push harder.

  • catchdubscatchdubs 492 Posts
    ask bobby brown


  • djsheepdjsheep 3,640 Posts
    put some soap up your ass


  • magneticmagnetic 2,678 Posts
    ex-lax.

    I cant believe that this dudes bowel movement habits are taking precedence over a whole nation's plight.

  • el_sparkoel_sparko 884 Posts
    ask bobby brown

    Way to bite my joke....

  • davesrecordsdavesrecords 1,802 Posts
    milk of magnesium should have you flowing like a champ in no time.


  • progbeatzprogbeatz 451 Posts
    Here's the sure fire remedy.A cup of strong black coffee with two heaping spoonfuls of chocolate coco powder added.Drink it down and you'll be liberated in no time.

  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    damn. my hommie [unnamed] just had this problem recently and he got himself an enema. it worked for him but he had to clean up poo colored salt water off the bathroom floor. he was not happy about that.

    which reminds me. i used to work at my pop's drug store and these nuns would come in once a month for a dozen enemas.

  • HAZHAZ 3,373 Posts
    The Answer To Your Problems

    "Extremely dense fecal matter can make a dyn-o-mite environment for the accumulation of harmful toxins"

    for real though, to get things started - drink prune juice.

    Yo,

    I'm ordering this today!!!!!!!!

    Taking a good dump is what's happening.

    h


  • KineticKinetic 3,738 Posts
    Constipation is the thief of time

    Diarrhea waits for no man.

























    PS constipated people don't give a shit

  • HAZHAZ 3,373 Posts

    enemas & colonics freak me out...I bet that crap hurts. The pics on the colonblow webpage are something else. I bet I'll shit out clumps of undigested meat & gummy bears. They say you'll see stuff in the toilet bowl that will blow your mind.

    h

  • billbradleybillbradley You want BBQ sauce? Get the fuck out of my house. 2,594 Posts
    Confucius says "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot".

    WebMD says

    Home Treatment

    Constipation can usually be treated effectively at home.

    * First:
    o Try gentle exercise. Take a short walk each day. Gradually increase your walking time until you are walking for at least 20 minutes.
    o Make sure you drink enough fluids. Most adults should try to drink between 8 and 10 glasses of water, noncaffeinated beverages, or fruit juice each day. Avoid alcoholic beverages and caffeine, which can increase dehydration. If you have heart failure or kidney failure, talk to your health professional about what amount of fluid is right for you.
    o Include fruits, vegetables, and fiber in your diet each day. Have a bran muffin or bran cereal for breakfast, and try eating a piece of fruit for a mid-afternoon snack.
    o Schedule time each day for a bowel movement (after breakfast, for example). Establishing a daily routine may help. Take your time. Don't be in a hurry.
    * If you are still constipated:
    o Add some processed or synthetic fiber???such as Citrucel, Metamucil, or Perdiem???to your diet each day.
    o Try a stool softener, such as Colace, if your stools are very hard.

    * If constipation persists, add a saline
    * laxative, such as Fleet Phospho-Soda or Milk of Magnesia. You should not take these types of laxatives if you are on a sodium-restricted diet or have kidney problems or high blood pressure. You may occasionally need to try a stimulant laxative, such as Ex-Lax or Feen-a-Mint. Use these preparations sparingly. Regular use may interfere with your body's ability to absorb vitamin D and calcium, which can weaken your bones.
    * Overuse of stimulant laxatives decreases the tone and sensation in the large intestine, causing dependence on laxatives. Do not use laxatives for longer than 2 weeks without consulting your health professional.
    * Support your feet with a small step stool [about 6 in.(15 cm)] when you sit on the toilet. This will help flex your hips and place your pelvis in a more normal "squatting" position for having a bowel movement.

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Hey,



    You must make sure to eat a balanced diet, especially containing roughage (i.e., green leafy vegetables), and drink plenty of water (as others have said). Because I eat right, I've never had problems with shittin'. You could set your watch by my dump schedule, nice and regular. Also, don't forget to "look back" to make sure your shit comes correct (e.g., not blood in stool, tarry color, etc.). Improper stool color, tarriness, and so on are signs of health concerns. Colon-rectal health is some serious shit (no pun intended).



    Peace,



    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • SnagglepusSnagglepus 1,756 Posts
    I have to say I'm impressed ... perhaps baffled by the maturity level of the majority of the responses here. I mean, someone can get torn down for liking re-issues too much and yet my man can reach out to his fellow strutters with his constipation problems and receive virtually all informative, nurturing responses.

    Did the events in London bring about an overall serious tone or is this subject just a little too easy?

    Whichever, I'm honestly impressed.


  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts



    Grind, eat, and grab the sports section.

    INSTANT AVATAR & LOCATION COMBO![/b]

  • KineticKinetic 3,738 Posts
    I have to say I'm impressed ... perhaps baffled by the maturity level of the majority of the responses here. I mean, someone can get torn down for liking re-issues too much and yet my man can reach out to his fellow strutters with his constipation problems and receive virtually all informative, nurturing responses.

    Did the events in London bring about an overall serious tone or is this subject just a little too easy?

    Whichever, I'm honestly impressed.

    The seriousness of this thread is disturbing me.

  • Art_FormArt_Form 188 Posts
    Taco Bell

  • yuichiyuichi Urban sprawl 11,329 Posts
    Push harder.

    lol


    my advice:

    coffee and ciggarettes.

    if you don't smoke:

    exercise and eat fruits.

  • Colonblow...

    Has anyone actually tried this stuff? It sounds dreamy, but the humor on the site makes me question how serious the product actually is.

    Damn, I wanna get the ish outta my bowels... Nasty.

  • blaqsoulblaqsoul 61 Posts


    imagine a pipe cleaner...

  • TabaskoTabasko 1,357 Posts
    I have to say I'm impressed ... perhaps baffled by the maturity level of the majority of the responses here. I mean, someone can get torn down for liking re-issues too much and yet my man can reach out to his fellow strutters with his constipation problems and receive virtually all informative, nurturing responses.

    Did the events in London bring about an overall serious tone or is this subject just a little too easy?

    Whichever, I'm honestly impressed.


    same here.
    I was expecting things like: Take that shit to the-dumps.com
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