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THEM CHICKENS IS ASH AND IM LOTION [DIVA related]

grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
edited November 2005 in Strut Central
alright goddammit. i saw a commercial the other day for some "who's the biggest diva"[/b] shit and its my girl mariah, of course, and fucking gwen stefani and kelly clarkson. what in tarnation?now this just my opinion, but in order to be a diva, first and foremost, you MUST[/b] attract drama. mary j., elton john, howard stern, these folks are bonerfide divas. cmon, kelly clarkson? gwen stefani? i mean, does either of them even have a fricken boob job? have they collapsed on stage? ever? are they addicted to a cocktail of designer drugs? puhlease.next, you absolutely MUST have a song stating your aversion to drama. a song displaying your own personal drama works too and NO hollaback girl dont cut it. third...you gotta have diva hand. you know, like when mariah is hitting them dog pitch high notes and she's all hunched over like she's pushing out a fart, and then the hand comes up as a sort of visual cue, a marker if you will, like when michael jackson grabs his manballs. in any case, dont bullshit us divas plaese. though i dont mind kelly clarkson and, uh, i guess gwen stefani, they are NOT divas thank you.
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  Comments

  • magneticmagnetic 2,678 Posts
    you gotta have diva hand. you know, like when mariah is hitting them dog pitch high notes and she's all hunched over like she's pushing out a fart, and then the hand comes up as a sort of visual cue, a marker if you will, like when michael jackson grabs his manballs.


  • JLRJLR 3,835 Posts
    like when mariah is hitting them dog pitch high notes and she's all hunched over like she's pushing out a fart, and then the hand comes up as a sort of visual cue

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    oh nevermind..... that word just pisses me off
  • spaceghostspaceghost 605 Posts
    you gotta have diva hand. you know, like when mariah is hitting them dog pitch high notes and she's all hunched over like she's pushing out a fart, and then the hand comes up as a sort of visual cue, a marker if you will, like when michael jackson grabs his manballs.



    how about the indigestion look?









































































    oooh this banh mi is coming up so you better get the party started
  • soulmarcosasoulmarcosa 4,296 Posts
    THREAD OF THE DAY

    THREAD TITLE OF THE DECADE
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    make no mistake about it. i got diva hand.
  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts
    make no mistake about it. i got diva hand.

    You gotta have that melisma "aaaahhhhaoooooahahhaoooooohuuuuhaaaah" trying to hit like 19 notes in 2 seconds


    "melisma" sounds like a bad growth
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts


    see what i mean?






    a cheap imitation











    ps
    anyone else notice asprin studying the techniques of my divahand? either that or he's checking out my junk.
  • BsidesBsides 4,244 Posts
    alright goddammit. i saw a commercial the other day for some "who's the biggest diva"[/b] shit and its my girl mariah, of course, and fucking gwen stefani and kelly clarkson. what in tarnation?

    now this just my opinion, but in order to be a diva, first and foremost, you MUST[/b] attract drama. mary j., elton john, howard stern, these folks are bonerfide divas. cmon, kelly clarkson? gwen stefani? i mean, does either of them even have a fricken boob job? have they collapsed on stage? ever? are they addicted to a cocktail of designer drugs? puhlease.

    next, you absolutely MUST have a song stating your aversion to drama. a song displaying your own personal drama works too and NO hollaback girl dont cut it.

    third...you gotta have diva hand. you know, like when mariah is hitting them dog pitch high notes and she's all hunched over like she's pushing out a fart, and then the hand comes up as a sort of visual cue, a marker if you will, like when michael jackson grabs his manballs.

    in any case, dont bullshit us divas plaese. though i dont mind kelly clarkson and, uh, i guess gwen stefani, they are NOT divas thank you.


    5 stars!
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    oh shit doggs. my homey that doesnt get his news from soulstrut hipped me to something called THE MARIAH DOLL[/b]. yeah, said he read about it on defamer or nytimes or one of them other things. anyone hear about this? anyone have pictures? i want!
  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,471 Posts
    cmon, kelly clarkson? gwen stefani? i mean, does either of them even have a fricken boob job?

    Well, maybe....

    Seriously, though, Gwen's not a diva, she's just unbelievably annoying and makes really stupid songs.
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    cmon, kelly clarkson? gwen stefani? i mean, does either of them even have a fricken boob job?

    Well, maybe....

    Seriously, though, Gwen's not a diva, she's just unbelievably annoying and makes really stupid songs.

    my friend those are the boobs of a mild mannered housewife. hardly divaesque.

    anyways, you hear about anything on that mariah doll? itd be cool if it had one of them strings you could pull and she'd talk or dog chirp.
  • bull_oxbull_ox 5,056 Posts
    anyways, you hear about anything on that mariah doll? itd be cool if it had one of them strings you could pull and she'd talk or dog chirp.

    for some reason I assumed you were talking about a Mariah real[/b] doll...



    but I guess they don't make those for pop stars huh...
  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    shig - did you see mimi on the vibe awards? your thoughts?
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    have you seen mariah lately? she is a real doll. i mean, it looks like her head was carved out of butter. she looks freakishly hot but not in a good way like when she dropped her butterfly album. um, yeah.
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    shig - did you see mimi on the vibe awards? your thoughts?

    no i missed it. i saw the opening act which i think was ciara but then i went to a dinner party and they didnt have a tv. was it good?
  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    I didn???t see the whole thing but performance-wise what I saw was really good ??? Chris Brown, Pharell/Shay and David Banner (the stage show was such bargain basement sleaze, it was hilarious). Ludacris at the end - wearing a head-to-toe confederate flag leather outfit and running civil rights-era slides as the backdrop - was both over the top and kinda twisted, but the highlight. Damian Marley???s band was a little too session-y. They did what ruins every contemporary live reggae band: improvised too much. I think the sound person did not know how to do sound for a live (reggae) band either; it sounded flat. It was funny watching the people in the audience dancing awkwardly to reggae. Paul Wall, I lost interest in because the sound was so muddy.

    The legend award to Mary J Blige was nice and short and Miss Mariah looked good and she looked happy. I thought of you.
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    haha! awww, how sweet of you!

    as much as i make fun of mariah, i admire the fact that she was able to pick her crazy ass up off the floor and dust herself off.

    GO ON WITH YOUR NUTTY SELF GIRL!!![/b]
  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    I didn???t see the whole thing but performance-wise what I saw was really good ??? Chris Brown, Pharell/Shay and David Banner (the stage show was such bargain basement sleaze, it was hilarious). Ludacris at the end - wearing a head-to-toe confederate flag leather outfit and running civil rights-era slides as the backdrop - was both over the top and kinda twisted, but the highlight. Damian Marley???s band was a little too session-y. They did what ruins every contemporary live reggae band: improvised too much. I think the sound person did not know how to do sound for a live (reggae) band either; it sounded flat. It was funny watching the people in the audience dancing awkwardly to reggae. Paul Wall, I lost interest in because the sound was so muddy.

    The legend award to Mary J Blige was nice and short and Miss Mariah looked good and she looked happy. I thought of you.

    I was waitin for the vibe awards thread.

    the "play" ladies were off the chain. what did Banner's shirt say that they didn't show it?

    "jamrock" sucked live.

    the white girl from "hustle and flow" was fuuuucked up...


    and mariah looked good. I like how she blew up pharell's spot..."I think he left out the side door an hour ago."
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    The legend award to Mary J Blige was nice and short

    So I guess they edited this out?

    VIBE STRIKES BACK AT MARY J. BLIGE[/b]

    The editor of Vibe magazine has hit back at Mary J. Blige after the R&B star slammed the publication at last weekend's Vibe Awards.

    The singer thanked Mimi Valdes for the Vlegend Award she was presented with at the bash, but proceeded to embarrass the magazine bestowing the prize, by criticizing its recent cover photo of her.

    At the ceremony Blige said, "For so many years, Vibe has given me great, great, great covers, but I must say, I'm very, very disappointed at the cover this time, so Mimi, me and you really need to talk, as women. No disrespect, but I really hated the way you guys shaved off my head, pushed my forehead way back behind my ears. I'm just insulted."

    Valdes angrily denies tampering with the picture and is furious at the manner in which Blige made "a private conversation public."

    She writes in a letter on Vibe.com, "Dissing Vibe while accepting our VLegend Award was extremely disappointing. I'm sorry you find your most recent cover insulting. It was definitely not our intention.

    "Besides your desire to make a private conversation public, your accusations are untrue. How your hair looks on that cover is between you and your hairstylist. I swear, your hairline is no different than the Polaroids you saw at the shoot or the snapshots we printed in my What's Good column.

    "I'd be lying not to admit how hurt we were by the negativity you brought to our celebration, especially since you were being honored."
  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    I didn???t see the whole thing but performance-wise what I saw was really good ??? Chris Brown, Pharell/Shay and David Banner (the stage show was such bargain basement sleaze, it was hilarious). Ludacris at the end - wearing a head-to-toe confederate flag leather outfit and running civil rights-era slides as the backdrop - was both over the top and kinda twisted, but the highlight. Damian Marley???s band was a little too session-y. They did what ruins every contemporary live reggae band: improvised too much. I think the sound person did not know how to do sound for a live (reggae) band either; it sounded flat. It was funny watching the people in the audience dancing awkwardly to reggae. Paul Wall, I lost interest in because the sound was so muddy.

    The legend award to Mary J Blige was nice and short and Miss Mariah looked good and she looked happy. I thought of you.

    I was waitin for the vibe awards thread.

    the "play" ladies were off the chain. what did Banner's shirt say that they didn't show it?

    "jamrock" sucked live.

    the white girl from "hustle and flow" was fuuuucked up...

    yup - she was embarassing.

    they also didn't show what it said on the back of luda's hoodie after he took the jacket off - another confederate flag and all i saw was the first word which was "united". ?????
  • bull_oxbull_ox 5,056 Posts
    At the ceremony Blige said, "For so many years, Vibe has given me great, great, great covers, but I must say, I'm very, very disappointed at the cover this time, so Mimi, me and you really need to talk, as women. No disrespect, but I really hated the way you guys shaved off my head, pushed my forehead way back behind my ears. I'm just insulted."

    NOW THAT IS SOME DIVA BEHAVIOUR RIGHT THURR
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    The legend award to Mary J Blige was nice and short

    So I guess they edited this out?

    VIBE STRIKES BACK AT MARY J. BLIGE[/b]

    The editor of Vibe magazine has hit back at Mary J. Blige after the R&B star slammed the publication at last weekend's Vibe Awards.

    The singer thanked Mimi Valdes for the Vlegend Award she was presented with at the bash, but proceeded to embarrass the magazine bestowing the prize, by criticizing its recent cover photo of her.

    At the ceremony Blige said, "For so many years, Vibe has given me great, great, great covers, but I must say, I'm very, very disappointed at the cover this time, so Mimi, me and you really need to talk, as women. No disrespect, but I really hated the way you guys shaved off my head, pushed my forehead way back behind my ears. I'm just insulted."

    Valdes angrily denies tampering with the picture and is furious at the manner in which Blige made "a private conversation public."

    She writes in a letter on Vibe.com, "Dissing Vibe while accepting our VLegend Award was extremely disappointing. I'm sorry you find your most recent cover insulting. It was definitely not our intention.

    "Besides your desire to make a private conversation public, your accusations are untrue. How your hair looks on that cover is between you and your hairstylist. I swear, your hairline is no different than the Polaroids you saw at the shoot or the snapshots we printed in my What's Good column.

    "I'd be lying not to admit how hurt we were by the negativity you brought to our celebration, especially since you were being honored."

    Where is this from?

    This is clearly a very important cultural moment.
  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts

    they also didn't show what it said on the back of luda's hoodie after he took the jacket off - another confederate flag and all i saw was the first word which was "united". ?????

    dunno but that "georgia" track is dope

    side note:
    can luda start a movement in southern black american to reclaim the confederate flag?
  • bull_oxbull_ox 5,056 Posts

    they also didn't show what it said on the back of luda's hoodie after he took the jacket off - another confederate flag and all i saw was the first word which was "united". ?????

    dunno but that "georgia" track is dope

    side note:
    can luda start a movement in southern black american to reclaim the confederate flag?

    where you been hommie? southern rappers have been reppin the flag for a while now...
  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    my favourite mary interview is from her my life era and she's sitting with a frown and sunglasses (surprise) and they begin to ask her about coming up and she goes off about how she's always asked the same thing and why are they asking her something that they already know the answer to? so the interviewer says "what do you want to talk about? what would you like me to ask you?" and blige says "nothing. i don't want to talk about anything. i don't want you to ask me nothing."

    awkward slience.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts

    they also didn't show what it said on the back of luda's hoodie after he took the jacket off - another confederate flag and all i saw was the first word which was "united". ?????

    dunno but that "georgia" track is dope


    yup
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts

    they also didn't show what it said on the back of luda's hoodie after he took the jacket off - another confederate flag and all i saw was the first word which was "united". ?????

    dunno but that "georgia" track is dope

    side note:
    can luda start a movement in southern black american to reclaim the confederate flag?

    where you been hommie? southern rappers have been reppin the flag for a while now...



    There was much handwringing on the editorial pages of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution when this was released... I'm not sure why anybody--that wasn't some sort of staright-up racist--would find it offensive.
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    my favourite mary interview is from her my life era and she's sitting with a frown and sunglasses (surprise) and they begin to ask her about coming up and she goes off about how she's always asked the same thing and why are they asking her something that they already know the answer to? so the interviewer says "what do you want to talk about? what would you like me to ask you?" and blige says "nothing. i don't want to talk about anything. i don't want you to ask me nothing."

    awkward slience.


    Was that the one with Toure? After which he announced that he was trading in all of his Mary CDs?
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    Where is this from?

    This is clearly a very important cultural moment.


    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/indexd?blogid=7
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