Is there anything more horrible than Smooth Jazz??

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  • BaptBapt 2,503 Posts



  • Do not sleep!

  • The "Smooth" radio format is some revolutionary (if throwed-back) shit, though. Outside of mixtapes, in how many other contexts do you hear music that's programmed not by its genre and not by the demographics of its listenership but by its abstract aesthetic? My dad is deep in the Smooth lifestyle (dude was country when country wasn't cool, so to speak: He's been down with the Smoove unit since the mid-eighties when his avuncular cocoa co-worker Greg--he of the late-model zinfandel-colored something with the "LOAFIN" vanity plate--turned him out with some Najee), so whenever we go to visit him, it's wall-to-wall "Wave FM" or whatever--in the crib, in the convertible, while ordering assorted chicken-based wraps named after towns in Arizona, etc.--and I can honestly say that said station will seemingly play anything, by any artist, in any genre, from any time period, as long as it feels smooth. In one weekend, on one station, I heard Bobby Caldwell, late-period Miracles, Beck, Al Green, MacNeal and Niles, Paul Hardcastle, Etta James, The Deele, Dave Brubeck, Steely Dan, Maroon 5, Lee Morgan, Johnny Hammond, Jefferson Starship, Jobim, Talking Heads, and on and on and on. Regardless of how one feels about the individual artists, where the fuck else do you hear that kind of sensibility in wide public broadcast? Those of you that can't get past the specifics of the playlist ("Fuck a Kenny G, thun!"), think of it this way: Imagine if there was some station that would play anything, by any artist, in any genre, from any time period, as long as it felt hard (settle down, Beavis): MC5, Public Enemy, Metallica, Prince Far I, Funkadelic, Alber Ayler, M.O.P., and on and on and on. Well, that's what's going on with a lot of these "Smooth" stations. You ain't gotta like it, but please recgonize this for the soft bomb that it is.

    And in a side note: All those who diss Men With Hats out of hand better hope that Clubbup doesn't see that shit. You'll be a bus ticket.

    dude... reading this has changed me...

    I don't know if I can go on living the way I once did...


    seriously, that's the definition of a slept-on post. I'm gonna remember this for when some dude starts one of those soulstrut nostalgia type threads, 'cos this is top o' the heap as far as I'm concerned.

  • PlanetPlanet 589 Posts
    Image hosted by Photobucket.com



  • Do not sleep!

    sayin, i prefer bright size life, i used to have this boss that loved metheny, he new i like jazz and he was gay so he was either trying to get me into metheny or get into me


  • DIE!!!

    yeah whatthefuck! Ive seen Tom Joens in Vegas like 3 times. The man puts on one hell of a fucking live show! Im serious. There is really nothing like seeing Tom Jones live.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts

    DIE!!!

    yeah whatthefuck! Ive seen Tom Joens in Vegas like 3 times. The man puts on one hell of a fucking live show! Im serious. There is really nothing like seeing Tom Jones live.

    just ask all the women who toss their underwear at him. something must sound right.



    anything by this group makes me very irritable, very very irritable.


  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    AC/DC

    If you are not joking, well, I just feel sorry for you.

    GOAT of Rock? In the running....


  • PrimeCutsLtdPrimeCutsLtd jersey fresh 2,632 Posts


    ooh that picture gives me douche bumps

    ez listening country and religious music...are pretty god awful...

  • meatyogremeatyogre 2,080 Posts
    it can be argued that AC/DC had the best rock recording engineer and live engineer of all time.

  • PrimeCutsLtdPrimeCutsLtd jersey fresh 2,632 Posts
    as the resident soulstrut nu-metal apologist, i feel a need to chime in and say that system of a down sounds nothing like papa roach.

    I agree...the last system of a down album is



  • Do not sleep!

    sayin, i prefer bright size life, i used to have this boss that loved metheny, he new i like jazz and he was gay so he was either trying to get me into metheny or get into me

    Or both, he was trying to get into you while listening to metheny?
    Seriously yeah Bright size life is also an oustandingly beautiful album.

  • RAJRAJ tenacious local 7,779 Posts
    I don't mind smooth jazz, really. It's like watching the Weather Channel.

  • I don't mind smooth jazz, really. It's like watching the Weather Channel.

    Yeah and it explains the recent Sven Lib??k hype
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