I Would Kick Her/Him Out of Bed for Liking ______

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  • bassie said:
    I suspect he had that arrogant, ???Maybe you need to hear it again, properly, to see how good it is really is??? attitude....so, he put them on.

    YES.

    I was getting into it with a lady once and The Dream's Put It Down came and I had to reach over and skip to the next song. I genuinely feared she would hear it and wonder why I wasn't putting it down like that. The performance anxiety was building so I hit next.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts
    bassie said:

    Not sure if it???s weird that as someone who goes through most of life with music on, I am not a fan of it as a mood setter or during the do. Circumstantial, sure. But deliberate sound tracking is goofy to me. Kinda like cue music in movies.

    If that's weird, then I too am weird. It just seems so affected--that this-is-what-I-think-romance-should-look-like thing Harvey alluded to. If it's already playing, great. But that "wait, hold on a sec, lemme throw on the proper soundtrack to this scene" shit gets the gasface.

  • Jonny_Paycheck said:
    But it wasn't until she whispered "escuchela ... la ciudad.... respirando" into my ear that I realized it was not to be.
    That kind of cringe-inducing moment must have ruined a massage; talmbout knots in your shoulders post rub down.

  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    bassie said:
    I dismounted, took the needle off, resumed position and things continued as they should.

    The way all disagreements should end!



    I'm not sure what it means, psychologically, to enjoy getting down to business when the record's over -- like needle running over the grooves and us not caring or doing anything about it.

  • I totally had a girl run out of my bedroom back in the days for putting on some music that was a little too much on the "soundtrack to what's about to happen" steez. I learned my lesson...

    But I grew up listening to H-Town and Jodeci and shit! What you want me to do.

  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    hahaha this thread is full of gold and it's just getting started i presume

  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    Jonny_Paycheck said:
    I totally had a girl run out of my bedroom back in the days for putting on some music that was a little too much on the "soundtrack to what's about to happen" steez. I learned my lesson...

    But I grew up listening to H-Town and Jodeci and shit! What you want me to do.

    Shit was also rampant during the downtempo (aka "moody loopz") era of the turn of the century, everybody prefacing it with, "Look, don't get the wrong idea -- we're friends -- but I'm gonna put on this Kruder & Dorfmiester CD."

  • Honestly, i think The Doors is a boner killer for me too (except the Crystal Ship). I really dislike Jim Morrison's lyrics and can't stand Ray Manzarek.

    This date guy sounds like a DB though.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    About 15 or so years ago, I brought home this rather whitebread girl I had been friends-only with for a long time, and when we eventually hit my room for the fireworks I threw on Motor Booty Affair. I ultimately gathered that she quite liked the music. But about 3 different times during our session, she popped her head up in bewildered amazement and asked me who it was that was playing. The cinematic effect of the music/sex combined was obviously throwing her for a loop.

  • Jonny_Paycheck said:
    I'm sure I've shared this story here before, but back when I was a young backpacking youth, I was pursuing a certain gal that had just arrived from ATL and was making waves in our little scene. the nag champa vibes were high. Well, I was getting some slight rhythm and one day we made it back to her dorm room for a little extra. She didn't want to go the full kufi, and I respected that, so we were just in croutons on futons territory. She offered a back rub, and being a connoisseur of the finer things, I couldn't refuse. Well, she dimmed the lights, fired up another stick of blue nile, and I prepared to press my boner into her bed while she kneaded my shoulder blades. She felt like, to really set the party off right, she had to put on some tunes... the opening strains of "Respiration" by Black Star wafted out of the Aiwa. I suppressed a chuckle. But it wasn't until she whispered "escuchela ... la ciudad.... respirando" into my ear that I realized it was not to be.

    You have, indeed, shared that one before, but this retelling shows a certain growth in your writing.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    I have to agree with Harv with respect to the fact that I would never let the restaurant decor put me off the food, so to speak. Especially if I was really hungry and knew it was going to taste fantastic. I am happy to eschew cuttlery and crockery at that point.

    I've endured The Lighthouse Family, Manic Street Preachers, Bauhaus, Bruce Springsteen, even the party-kryptonite that is Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car".

    And the candles... Ooooooh, not the candles...

  • SIRUSSIRUS 2,554 Posts
    you have not smashed till you've smashed to "bela lugosi's dead".

  • asstroasstro 1,754 Posts
    Jonny_Paycheck said:
    But it wasn't until she whispered "escuchela ... la ciudad.... respirando" into my ear that I realized it was not to be.

    Oh man, that is terrible. I was making out with a girl once when a car parked outside started playing Terror Fabulous "Action", and she decided to start a little song/dance routine for me. I appreciated the sentiment but this girl had a terrible singing voice, and neither the body (very tall and on the skinny side) or the moves to pull off the dance. It was a good thing when the car pulled away.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    Okay, you trumped me, Jimster. I couldn't fuck to The Boss. No way.

  • The_NonThe_Non 5,691 Posts
    asstro said:
    batmon said:
    asstro said:


    In college I went home with a girl who put on "Sexual Healing" as a mood setter, which had the complete opposite effect on me. She was a wanna be actress and I think this was part of a "performance" thing for her, but all I could think is "she cannot be serious". We were 19 years old, we didn't need some middle aged quiet storm slow jamz to get in the mood. At least I didn't. Anyway, I fought thru it like a champ (or a horny kid) and got the job done that night, but I never hooked up with her again.

    You sound white

    And yet I'm actually black. Shocking! I mean, word up my brother.
    Yeah, I was gonna be like IIRC this dude is black, which makes this wild humorous
    What would your opinion be of Let's Get it On?
    Additional things I couldn't get with, but have yet to experience:
    -Clown posters/memorabilia in the action room
    Oh, I had a really hard time performing once to someone in the other room playing "Ladies Night" by Kool & The Gang. I kept laughing and my gf at the time was getting pissed off, and I'm like yo, cmon, this confluence of circumstances makes this at least kinda funny.

    So more things that are a no go:
    -Tons of cats (I consider more than 2 cats to be "tons")
    -Ferret (they stink)
    -I think most Tom Jones songs would make me laugh while trying to get down to bidness (I DEFY YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR GIRL/GUY TONIGHT TO "WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT,", I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU!) At least Leo Sayer sings sensitively...
    -I donno if I could have sex to swing music other than "Chattanooga Choo Choo," "In The Mood," or maybe "One O'Clock Jump."

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    OK, since we're all embracing the spirit of it...

    My folks were away, my sister was at her boyfriend's and me & my brothers were throwing a party. I was 19, she was the smoking hot older sister of a guy I went to school with. I had never had the moves put on me so vigorously either before or since - she took me to my room. Drunk on my own glory, I decided an appropriate soundtrack was in order. I grabbed Sugar Minott's Black Roots...



    She was out the door before the first verse of Mankind had even ended. Lesson learned.

    I once spent an especially memorable night with a young lady whose preferred soundtrack was this. I stayed focused, but it wasn't exactly difficult.


  • J i m s t e r said:
    even the party-kryptonite that is Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car".

    brutal! i can not picture having sex to that. i think i would feel really weird.

  • Twice now in the past week or so I've had to (stop myself from) read(ing) descriptive stories about Harvey having sex. And you guys are complaining about political threads?!?!

    Also, quite the opposite of all this but it makes sense to put it here, an ex-girl of mine was getting all touchy feely while we were watching some ol' bullsh*t. For some reason, whatever it was had me in a zone so I kept brushing her off. She quickly changed my mind and earned my Hip Hop-heavy heart when she looked at me and said "THIS AIN'T NO MUTHA. F*CKIN'. CINEMA, BEEEYITCH."

    We broke up over 10 years ago but truth be told, I never fell out of love with her.

  • jjfad027jjfad027 1,594 Posts
    white_tea said:


    Shit was also rampant during the downtempo (aka "moody loopz") era of the turn of the century, everybody prefacing it with, "Look, don't get the wrong idea -- we're friends -- but I'm gonna put on this Kruder & Dorfmiester CD."

    I used to mess with a girl that would throw on Chem Bros "One Too Many Mornings" whenever it was sexy time. I didn't mind but I thought it was funny that was her go to song.

  • The_NonThe_Non 5,691 Posts
    Louie CK's TV show on FX is a boneur assassin too.

  • Tori Amos = not :hard_as_fuck:

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts
    Herm said:

    Also, quite the opposite of all this but it makes sense to put it here, an ex-girl of mine was getting all touchy feely while we were watching some ol' bullsh*t. For some reason, whatever it was had me in a zone so I kept brushing her off. She quickly changed my mind and earned my Hip Hop-heavy heart when she looked at me and said "THIS AIN'T NO MUTHA. F*CKIN'. CINEMA, BEEEYITCH."

    My friend busted that line out when we were hanging with our mutual friend/his friend with benefits and she suggested that we watch a movie. I damn near fell off the couch laughing. His FWB kicked me out of her apartment, where we were hanging. I suppose I had that coming, but holy shit, that was funny.

  • doisndoisn baleadas&pupuzas 303 Posts
    time ago i??d hung out with that damn hot bodied, stupid as bread, kind of euro-tekno-pop chick, she had such terrible sound i remember i??d to just get off, shut that shit up, get back into, uff, many times! once we drove out to the woods, after i had smoked a phat funky cigarette to bob which was oookay i??d enough and put on Hotsauce in teh dickhole by d-styles & q-bert while undressing on backseat. at that time i was really into that sound, she go it full length, at first she seemed a bit disturbed but in the end she loved it though.

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    1991.
    Me - an impressionable record store part-timer, Her - cashed up MILF regular.

    After purchasing a few top ten CDs and a couple of CD racks she asks me to help bring her shopping to her car. I oblige.

    She opens the passenger door and leans in, her short skirt leaving nothing to the imagination. I am standing in the mall carpark a bundle of nerves - she is sexy as hell and I'm a babe in the woods. I place the bags in the boot and turn around, she has unbuttoned her blouse and locks her gaze. With a sexy smile she slides a CD into the car stereo and motions for me to come in. In that brief moment of hesitation, the music begins.

    Tick Tock you don't stop, to the, tick tock you don't quit.

    Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up.

    I didn't.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Three Sundays ago I met up with two disabled bisexual Indian girls who wanted a 3sm (multiple sclerosis forum hookup-R)
    So one is oralising the bellend, other has my left nut in her gob and I am taking iPhone snaps at their behest.
    All the while, a gay porn flick is playing on their beat-up Hitachi laptop. Midway thru, alpha-girl decides we must be accompanied by her favourite track of the day. Porn flick off, random Maroon 5 track on.
    Instant boner softening style.
    The crushing irony is that MS takes away the sensitivity but not the function, so we're playing this out and not feeling a single fucking thing, and there was no happy ending.
    That is all.

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    doisn said:
    time ago i??d hung out with that damn hot bodied, stupid as bread, kind of euro-tekno-pop chick, she had such terrible sound i remember i??d to just get off, shut that shit up, get back into, uff, many times! once we drove out to the woods, after i had smoked a phat funky cigarette to bob which was oookay i??d enough and put on Hotsauce in teh dickhole by d-styles & q-bert while undressing on backseat. at that time i was really into that sound, she go it full length, at first she seemed a bit disturbed but in the end she loved it though.

    :beerbang:

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    skel said:
    Three Sundays ago I met up with two disabled bisexual Indian girls who wanted a 3sm (multiple sclerosis forum hookup-R)
    So one is oralising the bellend, other has my left nut in her gob and I am taking iPhone snaps at their behest.
    All the while, a gay porn flick is playing on their beat-up Hitachi laptop. Midway thru, alpha-girl decides we must be accompanied by her favourite track of the day. Porn flick off, random Maroon 5 track on.
    Instant boner softening style.
    The crushing irony is that MS takes away the sensitivity but not the function, so we're playing this out and not feeling a single fucking thing, and there was no happy ending.
    That is all.

    /thraed

  • skel said:
    Three Sundays ago I met up with two disabled bisexual Indian girls who wanted a 3sm (multiple sclerosis forum hookup-R)
    So one is oralising the bellend, other has my left nut in her gob and I am taking iPhone snaps at their behest.
    All the while, a gay porn flick is playing on their beat-up Hitachi laptop. Midway thru, alpha-girl decides we must be accompanied by her favourite track of the day. Porn flick off, random Maroon 5 track on.
    Instant boner softening style.
    The crushing irony is that MS takes away the sensitivity but not the function, so we're playing this out and not feeling a single fucking thing, and there was no happy ending.
    That is all.

    i think we might just have another author up in here.

  • asstroasstro 1,754 Posts
    Skel stays bringing the quotables but most of them are hidden in the Brit thread.

  • In the "peak" moments of a personal all-time low I downed beer and valium, hooked up with a total stranger on the upper bunk in an all girls college dorm room, and almost gave up completely when she threw on String Cheese Incident as the background score
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