TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Wot no Sturridge?

    He's on the replacements list. Who knows, if Wellbeck doesn't get fit perhaps he can come in and Trevor Sinclair the tournament though that seems doubtful at best.

    DocMcCoy said:
    Junior said:
    Still, I want to believe Woy, I want to believe.

    Conversely, I was secretly worrying that, having taken 0.00 interest in England since their ignominous WC exit, the useless gets, I would be caught embarrassingly flat-footed by the revelation that a young, dynamic, inventive and capable new England would be turning up at the Euros. As you can imagine, I'm quite relieved that the most stressful thing I'll now be doing during the contest is repeatedly explaining to bewildered Germans why I'm so utterly indifferent to England's prospects. Watch the cunts go and win it now.

    As for fears that Hodgson may be ushering in a return to "whack it up top to the big man" football, any Liverpool fan can tell you that this is almost certainly why he's picked both Carroll and such a predictable midfield (Ox notwithstanding). Obvious, really, when you consider the roaring success he enjoyed using similar tactics at LFC.

    Ha ha, I think passing the captaincy to Gerrard instead of Hart says it all about focusing on the future prospects. I do have a nagging suspicion that the hit and hope tactics may work for some of the matches but the utter lack of any options for plan b is rather glaringly obvious.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Worst squad ever

    b/w

    DocMcCoy said:

    Watch the cunts go and win it now.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,963 Posts
    Is it possible to have more than one plan if your talent pool can't execute it? Have we got players that can do Barca football? Is it OK to admit "Well, this is what we have, so this is what we'll do and Euroman MUST DEAL." For me, yes. We've got a shitty hand, talent-wise, so play it as best you can and to continue the gambling analogy, let dem chip fall, innit blud.

    I wish Woy the best. We're probably not good enough to get to the semis. We could maybe scalp some teams with big geometric shapes on their kit, but it's never going to be a well-drilled goal-machine. There is 'nuff pessimism for the squad but hey I am sure there are 'nuff euroman bemoaning their shot-kneed chud fillers too.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Is it possible to have more than one plan if your talent pool can't execute it? Have we got players that can do Barca football? Is it OK to admit "Well, this is what we have, so this is what we'll do and Euroman MUST DEAL."

    No argument here on the lack of tiki-taka but surely there must have been more options regarding mixing things up if/when the match isn't going to plan? I mean, look at the bench we'll have, unless the Ox comes on and does his magic there's nothing there to shake things up a bit either creatively in midfield or pace wise at front.


    B/w

    J i m s t e r said:
    We could maybe scalp some teams with big geometric shapes on their kit

    Excellent work Jimster. Going to save this one.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Why no Heskey? He saved Villa from relegation.


  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    FSG to Kenny;

    :walk_away_son:

    Oh, well. It was inevitable, I suppose. But where to now, St. Peter?

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    McLeish?

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    FAO Junior:


    http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2012/may/16/premier-league-season-joey-barton

    No Premier League title has ever been decided on goal difference before, and even before the rebranding of the top division in 1992 finishes as close as the one we have just seen were uncommon.

    The most recent and most famous was Arsenal snatching the crown from under Liverpool's noses at Anfield in 1989, but for all the drama and excitement of Michael Thomas's last-minute winner ??? not only immortalised in the Fever Pitch novel and subsequent film but credited with ushering in the present era by waking everyone up to the commercial possibilities of live televised football ??? that game took place in isolation. The fixture had been delayed due to the Hillsborough disaster and then Liverpool's involvement in the FA Cup final, and was played on a weekday evening in late May, three days after everyone else's season had been completed and all issues apart from the destination of the title resolved.

    Arsenal had not recorded a win at Anfield in 15 seasons and Liverpool had not lost at home by two or more goals for three years, so Kenny Dalglish's side were overwhelming favourites. All Arsenal could do was go for a win and, though the game was predictably cagey at first, that is what they ended up doing. Discussion afterwards centred on whether Dalglish got his gameplan right in attempting to keep things tight at the back, even after the visitors had scored the first goal.

    It would be a close call to say which denouement was the most dramatic, Arsenal exposing Liverpool's lack of ambition or Manchester City taking their fans to the edge of despair before rescuing the situation in stoppage time, but the fact that other games were taking place simultaneously last Sunday certainly added another dimension to the most breathtaking finish the Premier League has seen. Match of the Day did a great job of patching the scenes from the Stadium of Light into the unbelievable events at the Etihad, but there was more than just Manchester United heartache ??? as if it was not United's turn for a bit of heartache ??? to factor into the equation.

    Consider this. Joey Barton might have been the man responsible for depriving United of the title, wrapping it up for City and sending Bolton down. How? Well he was mostly responsible for the five minutes of stoppage time at the Etihad, wasn't he? No stoppage time, no incredible finale with just seconds to spare. Yet something else happened during the overtime at the Etihad. Bolton's match at Stoke ended in a draw, so Queens Park Rangers went into the final minutes of their game knowing they were safe. That could have made a crucial difference, for players definitely picked up the news from their supporters, and I have read at least one report ??? I was at the Britannia Stadium on Sunday so I couldn't swear it first hand ??? that mentions QPR switching off just before the end. It is hard to say for sure whether it happened or not, but it might have done.

    Yet Bolton in their turn were undone by events at City. Leading 2-1 at the break against a Stoke side that were not exactly busting a gut to get back on terms, Bolton should have been capable of seeing the game out but were utterly disheartened to hear QPR had not only taken the lead at City but appeared to be holding on to it. Bearing in mind that even a QPR draw would have sent Bolton down, Owen Coyle's players must have been distracted, to say the least, on hearing that Rangers were winning and that whatever they achieved against Stoke might not be enough. Again, Coyle could not confirm or deny that concentration had wavered due to the news from elsewhere, but he agreed that it might have. City were still losing 2-1 by the time Bolton finished their game in the belief their result would not have mattered anyway, only to be galled by the discovery that had they held on to their lead Sergio Ag??ero's winner would have saved them. But then again, had Bolton held on to their lead, maybe QPR would not have surrendered theirs so completely.

    Who knows? If all last days of the season were like that no one could possibly complain, but maybe United would have had the title sewn up before the end were it not for Dave Bryan. Oh come on, you must remember him. He was the linesman at Chelsea, subsequently stood down, who let two outrageous offside goals stand to deprive Wigan of an away win they thoroughly warranted. And who did Wigan play next, with a sense of burning injustice to add to their new formation and hitherto unsuspected ability to give the top teams a chasing? Manchester United at home. The rest is history, but had Wigan collected the points they deserved from Stamford Bridge they might not have been quite as fired up against United and history could have been written differently.

    One thing we can all agree on is that the season just ended has been the most sensational in Premier League history. Those who wish to discuss whether sensationalism is a good thing or a bad thing can do so somewhere else. Perhaps the quality of the football has been higher in previous years, and maybe we have seen more dominant title candidates than either of the Manchester sides have proved this season, especially when you take Europe into account. But in terms of generating interest, excitement, controversy, spectacle and an astonishing number of surprises, 2011-12 surely had it all. It deserves to be remembered as the most gobsmacking season of all, and here are 10 reasons why.

    1) The final day, obviously.

    2) One of the best hat-tricks of all time ??? Luis Su??rez's one man show at Norwich.

    3) All three promoted teams staying up, only the second time this has ever happened.

    4) Some genuinely amazing scorelines. United 1 City 6, United 8 Arsenal 2, Chelsea 3 Arsenal 5.

    5) Wigan's recovery. Not a last day scrape or a case of three worse teams saving their skin, as happened in the past. When Dave Whelan criticised Roberto Mart??nez's team selection following a home defeat by Swansea in early March Wigan were bottom of the table looking doomed. Two months later they were top of the Premier League form table and safe, after notable wins against Arsenal, United, Newcastle, Liverpool and others helped pick up 21 points from nine games. Not sure the Premier League has ever seen anything quite like it.

    6) Newcastle's overseas signings. Hatem Ben Arfa alone is worth anyone's admission money, but put him in a team with Yohan Cabaye, Demba Ba and Papiss Ciss?? and excitement is almost guaranteed. That's not even mentioning Fabricio Coloccini and Tim Krul. An absolutely brilliant season on Tyneside ??? great to have you back.

    7) The best off-field controversies ever. There is nothing big or clever about alleged racist abuse or refusing to accede to your manager's request to warm up before being sent on as a substitute, but though the Luis Su??rez/John Terry/Carlos Tevez situations may have started out as tawdry affairs no one could have predicted the fallout. Liverpool persisted in being doggedly wrong-headed right up to the point of Dalglish giving that car crash of a TV interview with Geoff Shreeves at Old Trafford; Terry ended up bringing Fabio Capello down; Tevez ended up running round the Etihad with a winner's medal before managing to launch another controversy during the victory parade.

    8) The continuing Steve Kean situation at Blackburn. Space is too short here to list all the details, but the whole Venky's takeover and running of the club has to be one of the weirdest of Premier League stories. Unlike some owners in the recent past, the people at Venky's are astute businesspeople and are not short of money. Their methods are unusual, to say the least, and their communication is poor, but their motivation remains the biggest mystery.

    9) The comeback kids. Thierry Henry may have been stage-managed but Paul Scholes, amazingly, was better than anyone had dared imagine. Better than he was a year or two ago, in fact.

    10) A London club winning the European Cup for the first time. All right, that hasn't happened yet, and it would probably be a mistake to underestimate Bayern Munich. I just happen to think this Chelsea side are capable of anything, however outrageous or far-fetched, and I wouldn't bet against this crazy season containing one more huge surprise.

    Henry's winning goal in the cup on his return was fairytale stuff, and I also think that after beating Barca, many of the Chelsea squad know that this really is their last chance at Champs League glory, and they'll do Bayern.



    Dumping Spuds out!

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Rafa?

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    FAO Junior:


    Stuff

    Meh, like I say, it's subjective and I'm not particularly interested in any argument put forth by someone who thought that Andy Carroll should be in the England squad.

    I will say that point 7 was possibly one of my biggest influences in not being as engaged in this season as I could have been. While the various off pitch antics had their entertainment value, the relentless presentation of idiocy and total unpleasantness by the premiership "stars" finally forced me to give up really giving that much of a shit about many of the players involved in the battle. It's one thing to assume they're all pricks, another to have it thrust in your face every day.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Teh Crack-house, day 256...

    Had to throw a homeless guy out last night. Before you cast me as a heartless monster consider the evidence:

    He's homeless because he'd been in accomodation, but decided to take drugs on premises, fully aware of the risk of eviction. I asked him why, and his response was "I've got to live my life".

    He's tried getting my landlord to allow him to pitch a tent in the back yard, adding that he'd sometimes want to use the kitchen, bathroom, and front room.

    He's begged money off me on the street on the strength of knowing my landlord (they used to drink together).

    He's been homeless for at least 5 months. He went to public school, had a job in the city, but *something* went wrong and he jacked it in. Says his parents are loaded and he has 800 grand waiting for him as an inheritence.

    My main problem is that the guy refused to accept the help on offer, threw it away in fact, and would rather go to vague aquaitances for money and shelter before going to his loaded family. Also knowing the guy has more cash waiting for him than I'll ever see in my lifetime just feels like an added piss-take.

    Had to get shouty with him at around midnight when I discovered he'd blagged my soft-touch landlord to let him stay over - there's no way anything will have changed the next day, and he'd be looking to extend his stay. I said to him as I threw him out, I also have to live my life.

    Was this bad karma?
    He kept calling me a facist. I told him he was a piss-taking scrounger.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    You generate good karma by doing, thinking and enabling good things for others.
    This does not extend to allowing them to use you as a doormat.

    You generate bad karma by thinking bad of, or doing bad to, others.
    I see no evidence of that on your testimony.

    Therefore I allow you good karmic accrual for this episode for the very action of questioning your soul over the issue.

    Easy nuh.

  • discos_almadiscos_alma discos_alma 2,164 Posts
    DocMcCoy said:
    FSG to Kenny;

    :walk_away_son:

    Oh, well. It was inevitable, I suppose. But where to now, St. Peter?

    Doc, do you think this had more to do with his tactical strategy as coach or his poor signing choices in Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam and Andy Carroll (although the latter had a mixed performance)? Really, all of them turned out to be disastrous for the $$$$$$ spent.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Indi_Lbl_HE@T said:
    DocMcCoy said:
    FSG to Kenny;

    :walk_away_son:

    Oh, well. It was inevitable, I suppose. But where to now, St. Peter?

    Doc, do you think this had more to do with his tactical strategy as coach or his poor signing choices in Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam and Andy Carroll (although the latter had a mixed performance)? Really, all of them turned out to be disastrous for the $$$$$$ spent.

    Both.

    My FB feed is awash with outraged scousers (at least, the ones who aren't blues) claiming that Kenny needed more time, the yanks don't know what they're doing, bring back Rafa, etc. I'm waiting for someone to suggest a dream team of Shanks and Bob Paisley's ashes. It's embarrassing.

    We started the season well, and we had some lousy luck in front of goal, but after a while you have to put some of that down to poor finishing, a classic example being Carroll's off-the-line effort in the Cup Final.

    I suppose Henderson and Carroll might improve, but I'd hope two players in their early 20's who cost nearly sixty million quid between them would improve. Adam's fairly average. Downing's never been more than OK in my eyes.

    Early rumours seem to make Andre Villas-Boat the front runner. I'd quite like to have had him at Anfield for this season just gone.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,963 Posts
    AVB would be great. Problem at 'Ski was the established squad didn't like his methods, and so it was either sack all them or sack him. Just business.

    He could get the nod to build LFC "In his own image" or such. There is some good stuff there.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,963 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Teh Crack-house, day 256...

    ...800 grand waiting for him as an inheritence.

    ....he was a piss-taking scrounger.

    For real. Although, even though I hear my council-estate roots curling up at the very thought of the next sentence...

    Is 800 large really that big an amount these days? I would certainly pick it up off the pavement but vis-a-vis being "Loaded" - it wouldn't buy you baller yardage in The Smoke and sustain a comfortable lounger existence, would it? Skel to speak on it as he must toss such amounts around on the reg with the gleeful nonchalance of Nick Leeson on E, with charlie chasers.

    Duder. I :no ayo: feel you blud. Reminds me of similar standoffs with pilled-up, ne'er-do-well strangers that one housemate used to bring back from various rave-centric Manchester clubs back in 89/90/91. She was, for much of the time, out of it herself and had swtiched off that "First impressions" part of the brain completely. As a result, many things went missing from communal areas. Tellys. Trainers. Keys. Foodstuff. There was random pissing. There were weirdos. There were sobs and unusual noises from her room.

    She was tolerated because she was kinda hot and would talk about sex in devastatingly frank ways, but y'know... Enough can be enough. She picked up the bad vibes we broadcast and left. I became the owner of several puffa coats and items of headwear said randoms had left behind (alas with nothing of value in dey pcokets). This garb, coupled with a suitable gait, enabled me to pass unhindered on long walks back from town in the wee hours, for which I am eternally grateful.

    If your acquaintance is unable to provide such bounty, I would have no qualms in refusing him entry to this muhfug stable. Sleep like a baby, brah. Time for daddy to break out the chequebook, and man t.f. up - show his own flesh and blood the love he outsourced to dem soggy-biscuit masters bitd.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Indi_Lbl_HE@T said:
    DocMcCoy said:
    FSG to Kenny;

    :walk_away_son:

    Oh, well. It was inevitable, I suppose. But where to now, St. Peter?

    Doc, do you think this had more to do with his tactical strategy as coach or his poor signing choices in Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam and Andy Carroll (although the latter had a mixed performance)? Really, all of them turned out to be disastrous for the $$$$$$ spent.

    Surely Kenny has now been vindicated by the inclusion of Downing and Carroll in the Euro winning squad?

    I have to confess, this latest managerial removal is now weighting it more towards the best PL season ever. Can't deny my enjoyment at Sky Sports News ruthless compilation of uncomfortable King Kenny post match interviews last night.

    Duder, I think you went above and beyond normal tolerance levels with this guy. I know it's a slightly odd situation in that this house is not yours but I'm a firm believer that you can only give a person the benefit of the doubt so many times before you become embroiled in the problem itself. Who knows, maybe this will help kick him into shape, if not, so be it. If you weren't sure about your actions beforehand surely his accusations of fascism must have settled the deal and let you sleep like a baby that night.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    You put 800 on deposit for a year and get 40 a year to live on.

    40 gives you a relatively humble lifestyle, depending on your loc.

    All the while that 800 is getting nibbled away by inflation.

    Trust me, 800 is not retirement money unless you are 55.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    On the plus side it should allow you to buy a property outright meaning that, if said person could avoid Retoning it up for a while and got a job they would have a sizeable amount of disposable income to allow either much earlier retirement through saving or the baller lifestyle of a second division footballer.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,963 Posts
    I suspect, doe, that that ??800K would very quickly be in the pockets of all manner of lowlife, before owt as sensible as a yard was purchased.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    That could be true, the guy seems a bit frazzled - burn out maybe? In previous conversations he philosophically pondered why once you drop out of business class, your friends suddenly don't want to know you - I was getting Trading Places vibes at this point, and felt some sympathy for the guy. Having dodged the tent scenario, I gave him some money and a sleeping bag, as well as a little advice on looking at the bigger picture of how his actions have consequences. I hoped hints would be taken, but when he returned again trying to blag a free ride, I knew that I had to be the bad guy as my landlord is too passive to say what he thinks and turf the dude out.

    Part of my guilt is that, through no fault of his own, he was at the sharp end of my temper that has been honed to a white-hot cutting edge through months and months of crap from various floaters, drunks, and junkies who seem to think that the place is a flop-house.

    Ah well.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,963 Posts
    skel said:
    You put 800 on deposit for a year and get 40 a year to live on.

    40 gives you a relatively humble lifestyle, depending on your loc.

    All the while that 800 is getting nibbled away by inflation.

    Trust me, 800 is not retirement money unless you are 55.

    My spread betting gambit means I could potentially turn your ??800K into ~??60K p/m

    If my man doesn't abscond wi' the ??800K. Man is currently doing good with my paltry life savings...

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office
    I will hunt you down, you have my Word.

    b/w

    I'm seeing a specialist to help me with my kleptomania - I've taken something valuable from every session.

  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    i mean think about it Terry, Ivanovic, Meireles and Ramires are out...our back is weakened beyond recognition vs the likes of gomez and they lose albaba but we lose the counter attacking run of ramires and meireles creating something out of midfield
    we don't even have fucking malouda...unless essien ressurects it will be a tough one...furthermore the allianz arena advantage is UBER!

  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts


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    Beastin'!

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,963 Posts
    The Telegraph:
    John Terry - and this is like the plot of a sitcom - has changed into his full Chelsea kit. Clearly he's about to lift the trophy like the leader he is. Even though the team, led by someone else, did perfectly well without him tonight. Bet he's going to chuck it in the wash afterwards as well. The man really is a complete dong. A complete. Dong.

    Well done Ski.

    You simply have to pay tribute to Chelsea's spirit. Written in the stars? A blue angel in their goal? Nah. They ran and ran and defended and defended, and when they had to score a goal, they scored a goal. That, in a sort of roundabout way, is football.

  • discos_almadiscos_alma discos_alma 2,164 Posts
    Bayern Munich Chelsea
    43(7) Shots (on Goal) 9(3)
    20 Corner Kicks 1

    :oof:

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Fuck 'em.

    EDIT: The event horizon of cunt.



    Does anyone know what that slogan under the number means? I hope it's to do with some kind of official UEFA campaign slogan rather than a statement about Terry's ban. If it's the latter, then the cringe-inducing Suarez t-shirts pale in comparison. The extent to which this prick gets indulged is nauseating enough as it is.

  • soulcitizensoulcitizen 304 Posts
    http://www.righttoplay.com/uk/Pages/Home.aspx

    Nothing to do with Terry at all.

    We won. He's a great player and captain even if he is an imperfect person - and there's a law, innocent until proven guilty, so how about waiting for the result of the trial instead of pre-judging - as the media and most others pre-judged and said we'd get f**k all this year. Well, guess what, Spurs and Man U got f**k all and we won 2 trophies!

    ha!
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