Personally, I wouldn't give him a book, I would go to the library or a bookstore and pick one out with him. You both leaf through books and he can pick out what he's interested in. If it's above his level or boring to him, he can put it back on the shelf - deal is he has to leave with a book. Again - I would read the same thing in order to discuss it with him.
I can only talk about how I would do it being who I am and what I know from working with teens and tutoring adults in reading and writing...but end of day, who this guy is will best determine how to work with him. Again, you know him best.
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I also feel that this reading thing is separate from the lack of motivation, inactive issue.
I dunno. This catering to what HE like shit is why hes in this predicament.
If he left for the military tmmw would he have the luxury of choosing a book that he wants?
How can u discuss what u read if u cant even pronounce half the stuff in front of you?
No matter what motivates him down the line hes going to have to read to gain.
You sound like your dealing with teens and adults who are already oiled up for learning.
This kid is on level zero. Are those the kind of cats your dealing with?
WTF does the military have to do with him reading a book? They are two totally different things with two totally different intentions.
People don't read because it's a chore, they read because they enjoy what they are reading. This is not the forum to take a hardline and force him to read about the Civil War when he loves wrestling. If you want to encourage him to read, to instill a love of reading for the long-term, it has to be about what he likes otherwise it won't work. Are you trying to promote reading or to make a point that is pointless?
Like I said, getting him to read is different than him not working, etc.
The folks I deal with are all over the place as far as degree of motivation and engagement are concerned.
maybe see how he does with a magazine article like sports illustrated first. maybe new york times. i think making a big event out of it might be a little much considering the other operation-bum-rescue aspects that might be more pressing (GED). but reading skills are the backbone of employability, mental growth, self discipline, future education and skill building. id say its crucial, but for now it can be a side ring at this circus. dont make it a big deal, but give him some assignments and check in with him consistently.
this kids needs all kinda stimulus: physical, mental, emotional, financial and probably some electroshock too
Rock makes a good point about "bad" parenting or absentee parents.
Bassie and Tony are right about getting him to read about things he enjoys, first and foremost. Most adults have a hard time picking up a book in this day and age, much less a kid.
And he is 18, which is really young. By the time, he turns 25, he'll either be sitting at home playing X-Box while he works part-time somewhere or decide he wants to move out, at which point a full-time job would be necessary. If you're really concerned about his development, (I'm sure you already know) but a sustained effort is necessary and you probably won't even see the end results of your labor, but it will be something he can build on.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
Have him intentionally elbow someone in the head and then pretend he didn't do it.
You have to look at your own intention here and be really clear before you start. You started out with a mixed bag of both employer AND mentor, and you can't be both at this stage if you aren't very close with this kid. You should pick one path and that will help inform the next steps you take.
There's a very specific structure to mentoring programs like Big Brothers or Mentoring Brothers (which you may have heard about if you listen to WBLS because it's advertised frequently there) for a reason. In the structure of the mentorship you stick to doing active things together so that you can talk, so that the young person gains an open mind and some stimulation, which this young man sorely needs. It is based on taking them places, spending time together- cooking, sports, learning how to use tools/building, going to art galleries, showing him the world that you appreciate and live in. Outings and quality time spent being a positive role model. It's simple but it's essentially about developing trust and helping him see the world. These programs do not advocate employing the kids because their focus is more about old school enrichment. Also the programs emphasize that you can't set a precedent that you are responsible financially for the little brothers well being when he's not on an outing with you thus they discourage any exchange of chores for money.
So of course you don't need to do any of this in the context of one of those programs but if you want to mentor him you could easily get more guidance and info on effective ways to be a mentor from some of these tried and true resources.
Yeah in not trying to devote all my time into this. I was thinking small just to get the juices flowing
What you are proposing isn't a small task. It doesn't have to take all your time, but it has to be well thought out with you knowing how and what you are willing to put in. Like others have expressed, some sort of plan/routine is required for what seems to be ailing him in the immediate, non-motivated sense.
No one asked for your help. You have chosen to inject yourself into this person's life to set an example and kick-start something; it's not a half-steppin quick-fix answer you drop in his lap and walk away from.
Personally, I wouldn't give him a book, I would go to the library or a bookstore and pick one out with him. You both leaf through books and he can pick out what he's interested in. If it's above his level or boring to him, he can put it back on the shelf - deal is he has to leave with a book. Again - I would read the same thing in order to discuss it with him.
I can only talk about how I would do it being who I am and what I know from working with teens and tutoring adults in reading and writing...but end of day, who this guy is will best determine how to work with him. Again, you know him best.
____________
I also feel that this reading thing is separate from the lack of motivation, inactive issue.
I dunno. This catering to what HE like shit is why hes in this predicament.
If he left for the military tmmw would he have the luxury of choosing a book that he wants?
How can u discuss what u read if u cant even pronounce half the stuff in front of you?
No matter what motivates him down the line hes going to have to read to gain.
You sound like your dealing with teens and adults who are already oiled up for learning.
This kid is on level zero. Are those the kind of cats your dealing with?
I don't think reading is separate from motivation. I was cruising thru high school getting high grades w/out trying and staring out the window a bit until I went to the library and started reading books I WANTED to read, which made me think about my life, the world, what I was interested in and passionate about, and who I was as a person. The first book I took out of the library? Revolutionary Suicide by Huey Newton. I don't know the foo you dealing with, but I think one well-placed book could wake his ass up. Books about people changing their life significantly in an outta the box sorta way might wake him up (my second book was Autobio of Malcolm X, my third was Soul on Ice). Just my 2c.
cosine 100% which is why i suggested assata, which kicked my immature ass several decades ago
not indoctrination but exposure to very motivated people who had stories to tell
Comments
I dunno. This catering to what HE like shit is why hes in this predicament.
If he left for the military tmmw would he have the luxury of choosing a book that he wants?
How can u discuss what u read if u cant even pronounce half the stuff in front of you?
No matter what motivates him down the line hes going to have to read to gain.
You sound like your dealing with teens and adults who are already oiled up for learning.
This kid is on level zero. Are those the kind of cats your dealing with?
People don't read because it's a chore, they read because they enjoy what they are reading. This is not the forum to take a hardline and force him to read about the Civil War when he loves wrestling. If you want to encourage him to read, to instill a love of reading for the long-term, it has to be about what he likes otherwise it won't work. Are you trying to promote reading or to make a point that is pointless?
Like I said, getting him to read is different than him not working, etc.
The folks I deal with are all over the place as far as degree of motivation and engagement are concerned.
this kids needs all kinda stimulus: physical, mental, emotional, financial and probably some electroshock too
Bassie and Tony are right about getting him to read about things he enjoys, first and foremost. Most adults have a hard time picking up a book in this day and age, much less a kid.
And he is 18, which is really young. By the time, he turns 25, he'll either be sitting at home playing X-Box while he works part-time somewhere or decide he wants to move out, at which point a full-time job would be necessary. If you're really concerned about his development, (I'm sure you already know) but a sustained effort is necessary and you probably won't even see the end results of your labor, but it will be something he can build on.
There's a very specific structure to mentoring programs like Big Brothers or Mentoring Brothers (which you may have heard about if you listen to WBLS because it's advertised frequently there) for a reason. In the structure of the mentorship you stick to doing active things together so that you can talk, so that the young person gains an open mind and some stimulation, which this young man sorely needs. It is based on taking them places, spending time together- cooking, sports, learning how to use tools/building, going to art galleries, showing him the world that you appreciate and live in. Outings and quality time spent being a positive role model. It's simple but it's essentially about developing trust and helping him see the world. These programs do not advocate employing the kids because their focus is more about old school enrichment. Also the programs emphasize that you can't set a precedent that you are responsible financially for the little brothers well being when he's not on an outing with you thus they discourage any exchange of chores for money.
So of course you don't need to do any of this in the context of one of those programs but if you want to mentor him you could easily get more guidance and info on effective ways to be a mentor from some of these tried and true resources.
^^^Funny Poast^^^
proposal withdrawn...lazy reading on my behalf
What you are proposing isn't a small task. It doesn't have to take all your time, but it has to be well thought out with you knowing how and what you are willing to put in. Like others have expressed, some sort of plan/routine is required for what seems to be ailing him in the immediate, non-motivated sense.
No one asked for your help. You have chosen to inject yourself into this person's life to set an example and kick-start something; it's not a half-steppin quick-fix answer you drop in his lap and walk away from.
I don't think reading is separate from motivation. I was cruising thru high school getting high grades w/out trying and staring out the window a bit until I went to the library and started reading books I WANTED to read, which made me think about my life, the world, what I was interested in and passionate about, and who I was as a person. The first book I took out of the library? Revolutionary Suicide by Huey Newton. I don't know the foo you dealing with, but I think one well-placed book could wake his ass up. Books about people changing their life significantly in an outta the box sorta way might wake him up (my second book was Autobio of Malcolm X, my third was Soul on Ice). Just my 2c.
not indoctrination but exposure to very motivated people who had stories to tell