Hard labour.. weed the garden, neighbours gardens, mow lawns etc... Most of all plant things. Watching plants/trees grow, flourish and blossom resonates with most youths I've known IF you can keep them engaged long enough. They learn that effort equals results without the counterproductive approach of your constantly saying so... Tough task though and time intensive.
Hard labour.. weed the garden, neighbours gardens, mow lawns etc... Most of all plant things. Watching plants/trees grow, flourish and blossom resonates with most youths I've known IF you can keep them engaged long enough. They learn that effort equals results without the counterproductive approach of your constantly saying so... Tough task though and time intensive.
Most 18 year olds aren't really about long-term plans, but you definitely gotta start somewhere.
Props to Batmon for taking initiative though. Even if there isn't an immediate impact, hopefully they'll be enough
people like that over the course of the next 5 or 10 years that he'll start to "get it". Heck, at age 18, I was programmed to go to school, do well, but aside from that, didn't know who I was or what I was doing.
Sounds like the kid is just "coping" with dad not around. It's a natural thing for people to do, especially at such a young and vulnerable age.
The Mom should charge him rent and/or have him contribute to the groceries, bills, etc.
^^This, my father started charging me $200 a week rent after I was kicked out of school and landed my first job (I was making $250 a week). I moved out when I was 15 and grew up real quick.
This was 1990, even by today's standards that's whoah money for a kid.
i would say that if the kid doesnt start being real proactive, he gets charged rent. but if he cant pay it, does he get thrown out on the streets? doesnt sound like the mom is built to do that.
Thats a good book, but i think hes so far removed from that era.
Indoctrination can come later. Best way to get young people to do anything is to not bash them over the head with it, don't treat them like they're idiots and propose it from an angle they are interested in. There are plenty of books about the sports he is into.
batmon said:
Im gonna go over there and ask him to read something aloud and see what his level is at.
I have no idea what this teen is like, so he may be cool with it - but getting him to read out loud seems a little weird. As well, reading out loud and how one reads in their head is not the necessarily the same thing. I stumble and mispronounce words I know when I have to read out loud.
Together, find something he is into, read it as well and talk to him about it. You will be able to gauge his comprehension and interest level from that.
Get a friend with a massive Harley Davidson to come round. Tie the kid on to the back with some strong rope. Drive bike very, very fast. Kid will either love the experience and want to get into bikes, maybe get a job to buy one or learn how they work, or he'll be mentally scarred for life. Either way, also attach vid camera and upload to yootoob for our benefit.
But srsly, there must be something fun and cool you could do that might pique his interest.
i would say that if the kid doesnt start being real proactive, he gets charged rent. but if he cant pay it, does he get thrown out on the streets? doesnt sound like the mom is built to do that.
He starts cooking his own meals with his own groceries. Washing his own clothes with his own detergent. Brushing his teeth with his own toothpaste and, in honour of his caring neighbour....wash yo ass with yo own soap!
Unless people at home are in danger, I can't really get behind putting a young person out on the street (even then, there are other avenues), but there are plenty of ways to get one's point across about how to be a responsible and self-sufficient individual.
More than anything this thread should serve as a lesson in good parenting which this kid seems to lack.
My folks made me start paying rent when I was 15.....my friends all made fun of me because of it. When I moved out of my house at 17 my mother handed me a check for the full amount of all the rent I had paid. My folks just wanted me to know what it was like to have that responsibility. Too many parents want to make it as easy as possible on their kids and be their friends....that's great for the kid when he's 15 but when it's time to get out and do things independently it can be a big drawback.
Yea, I got that. You know him better than any of us, so like I said, he may not take it any way at all.
But if anyone asked me to read out loud to see my level at 18, my reaction would be WTF? How well he can read to you doesn't indicate his comprehension level. Best way to do that is to discuss what he is reading; ask him questions about it and his take on things.
Straight up, if you want to do this right, it will take some of your time and dedication, too. Getting him to read a page or two to assume where he's at and then handing him a library and sending him on his way just isn't going to cut it.
Yea, I got that. You know him better than any of us, so like I said, he may not take it any way at all.
But if anyone asked me to read out loud to see my level at 18, my reaction would be WTF? How well he can read to you doesn't indicate his comprehension level. Best way to do that is to discuss what he is reading; ask him questions about it and his take on things.
Straight up, if you want to do this right, it will take some of your time and dedication, too. Getting him to read a page or two to assume where he's at and then handing him a library and sending him on his way just isn't going to cut it.
My five cents.
I totally disagree.
I cant recommend him a book if he cant read.
How is reading aloud some ego smasher?
Check this book out, read it and tell me what u think.
Hey Check this movie out see and tell me what you think.
Hey check out this album listen to it and tell me what u think.
If anyone has first hand success stories of "tough love" I am genuinely interested to hear them. My younger ended up in the Army on some "need some structure" type shit and got out in exactly the same place. I don't think the army "fixes" people, either you have your shit together before you go in, and come out with a plan, or you don't have your shit together and you don't come out with a plan.
One of my best friends joined the Navy when he was 19. He had little to no direction, parents were Deadheads and let him do whatever he wanted, no GED..etc. He's 33 and a chief now. Will probably make master chief by the time he's 40. If he hadn't signed up I doubt he would have as much going for him as he does now.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
DJ Rapid Ric came to our afterschool program at Lanier High School a couple weeks back and wound up suspending any lessons he planned to give on deejaying in favor of going off on the kids for not being about shit with their lyrics.
yeah im no proponent of american militarism, but on an individual level, the structure and discipline can do wonders for some drifty kids. it also has historically offered significant advancement opportunities for minorities, which isnt a coincidence, but still.
i see where bassie's coming from, but if you know the kid well, he shouldnt be too embarrassed. i generally ask kids where they are at with their reading. they usaully say "good. i can read." but a couple follow up questions can pin down what they're comfortable with. also, reading words and reading comprehension can be two different ball games.
Personally, I wouldn't give him a book, I would go to the library or a bookstore and pick one out with him. You both leaf through books and he can pick out what he's interested in. If it's above his level or boring to him, he can put it back on the shelf - deal is he has to leave with a book. I would read the same thing in order to discuss it with him.
I can only talk about how I would do it being who I am and what I know from working with teens and tutoring adults in reading and writing...but end of day, who this guy is will best determine how to work with him. Again, you know him best.
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I also feel that this reading thing is separate from the lack of motivation, inactive issue.
Comments
His momma dont sit around the house and read so he hasnt had that example.
In fact i dont see ONE book in the house.
I got plenty of books for him to check.
keep in mind theyre in nyc
Thats a good book, but i think hes so far removed from that era.
Im gonna go over there and ask him to read something aloud and see what his level is at.
goodnight......... moon.
Props to Batmon for taking initiative though. Even if there isn't an immediate impact, hopefully they'll be enough
people like that over the course of the next 5 or 10 years that he'll start to "get it". Heck, at age 18, I was programmed to go to school, do well, but aside from that, didn't know who I was or what I was doing.
Sounds like the kid is just "coping" with dad not around. It's a natural thing for people to do, especially at such a young and vulnerable age.
^^This, my father started charging me $200 a week rent after I was kicked out of school and landed my first job (I was making $250 a week). I moved out when I was 15 and grew up real quick.
This was 1990, even by today's standards that's whoah money for a kid.
Fixed.
the strategy can also backfire.
i would say that if the kid doesnt start being real proactive, he gets charged rent. but if he cant pay it, does he get thrown out on the streets? doesnt sound like the mom is built to do that.
Indoctrination can come later. Best way to get young people to do anything is to not bash them over the head with it, don't treat them like they're idiots and propose it from an angle they are interested in. There are plenty of books about the sports he is into.
I have no idea what this teen is like, so he may be cool with it - but getting him to read out loud seems a little weird. As well, reading out loud and how one reads in their head is not the necessarily the same thing. I stumble and mispronounce words I know when I have to read out loud.
Together, find something he is into, read it as well and talk to him about it. You will be able to gauge his comprehension and interest level from that.
But srsly, there must be something fun and cool you could do that might pique his interest.
He starts cooking his own meals with his own groceries. Washing his own clothes with his own detergent. Brushing his teeth with his own toothpaste and, in honour of his caring neighbour....wash yo ass with yo own soap!
Unless people at home are in danger, I can't really get behind putting a young person out on the street (even then, there are other avenues), but there are plenty of ways to get one's point across about how to be a responsible and self-sufficient individual.
My folks made me start paying rent when I was 15.....my friends all made fun of me because of it. When I moved out of my house at 17 my mother handed me a check for the full amount of all the rent I had paid. My folks just wanted me to know what it was like to have that responsibility. Too many parents want to make it as easy as possible on their kids and be their friends....that's great for the kid when he's 15 but when it's time to get out and do things independently it can be a big drawback.
theres an important distinction between being a friend and being a good parent/rolemodel/teacher.
Twenty five bucks a week.
The check was for a little more than 3 grand and it came a s a total shock.
But if anyone asked me to read out loud to see my level at 18, my reaction would be WTF? How well he can read to you doesn't indicate his comprehension level. Best way to do that is to discuss what he is reading; ask him questions about it and his take on things.
Straight up, if you want to do this right, it will take some of your time and dedication, too. Getting him to read a page or two to assume where he's at and then handing him a library and sending him on his way just isn't going to cut it.
My five cents.
I totally disagree.
I cant recommend him a book if he cant read.
How is reading aloud some ego smasher?
Check this book out, read it and tell me what u think.
Hey Check this movie out see and tell me what you think.
Hey check out this album listen to it and tell me what u think.
One of my best friends joined the Navy when he was 19. He had little to no direction, parents were Deadheads and let him do whatever he wanted, no GED..etc. He's 33 and a chief now. Will probably make master chief by the time he's 40. If he hadn't signed up I doubt he would have as much going for him as he does now.
i see where bassie's coming from, but if you know the kid well, he shouldnt be too embarrassed. i generally ask kids where they are at with their reading. they usaully say "good. i can read." but a couple follow up questions can pin down what they're comfortable with. also, reading words and reading comprehension can be two different ball games.
A point I've been trying to make about four times now.
edit - And how one absorbs, processes and speaks on a book, a movie and music are three totally different things.
He told me he cant remember the last time he read a book.
So how do i give him a book if i cant gauge where he is at?
I can only talk about how I would do it being who I am and what I know from working with teens and tutoring adults in reading and writing...but end of day, who this guy is will best determine how to work with him. Again, you know him best.
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I also feel that this reading thing is separate from the lack of motivation, inactive issue.