I have intervened. Very difficult, and the out come is never good.
On the extreme end I didn't intervene for a neighbor girl who we all knew was in an awful situation with extreme type threats and verbal abuse. ("If you don't _______, I will kill your cat.")
She eventually called Child Welfare. Her mom's husband was arrested.
When mom got home she went and bailed him out which lead to the daughter being put in foster care.
The mom had the choice of living with her abusive husband, or her daughter, and chose him.
Other neighbors tried to adopt or foster her, but since they lived near the parents they were not allowed. They kept in touch with her for a while, but she was constantly being moved from foster home to foster home and they lost touch.
The parents were gleeful, telling everyone they were empty nesters and had much more money now.
The idea that you will say something, and the parent will have an epiphany and start acting right is a fantasy. Often the child is better off in foster care, but often foster care sucks, and we love our parents despite their inability to express themselves with out violence.
My mom likes to tell the back-in-the-day story about when she sent me to my room while she went to get my Dad's infamous belt. I had used that minute to quickly stuff and disguise a small pillow down the back side of my pants to cushion the impact. She came in mad as hell and immediately started laughing at my totally ridiculous, totally obvious attempt.
My wife is a social worker at a daycare center. I can't tell you how many times she has called parents to tell them their kid hit another child and the parents response is, "I'm a beat his ass." Gee, I wonder why the child might think it is ok to hit someone.
Funny, I got belted a lot and would always be jealous of white friends who got grounded or time-outs from nintendo. Vietnamese friends growing up would always be like "yeah, mom belted me whatever" so I never really felt like a freak or victim. this video is horrible though and the parents seem scummy.
Even though i couldn't stand that Girl with a Dragon Tattoo movie, I couldn't help but think of that revenge plot when I read about this story/saw that video.
i used to see some grimy things when i was working with kids. a kid getting beat in the head with a high heeled shoe by his grandmom, a parent bringing the tv chord to school to beat her children, etc etc. and those were the involved,caring parents. frustrating
brian...what exactly are you allright with? beating and cursing at a 16 year old with a belt as if she was a dog?
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
You trollin' dirty
DocMcCoy"Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,913 Posts
LaserWolf said:
When these threads pop up I am always surprised by how many of us (including myself) were beaten.
More surprising (and sickening) is how many of us condone beating children.
I don't know that what's going on in this video and what many of us are referring to here is the same thing. When I was younger, my parents would sometimes give me a clout if I seriously misbehaved. I maybe got the belt once, and I'm not even certain that I wasn't just threatened with it. I think I got the cane at school more often than I was physically punished with anything other than the flat of my parent's hands. Either way, I would never describe what I got as a beating. I was never left with marks on my body. I never lived in fear of my parents, nor did I instinctively cower from them whenever they raised their voices for whatever reason. Parents shouldn't be afraid to physically discipline a child when the circumstances call for it. After all, who said parenting was supposed to be easy? Failing to do so can do more harm than good in the long run. I'm glad my parents hit me when I got out of line, because the fear of it taught me to avoid trouble. I know some people consider it a rite of passage of sorts, but I'm kind of proud of the fact I've never spent a night in jail in my life, and I've got my folks to thank for that.
As a child I was spanked if I seriously misbehaved......wooden sppon.....belt....shoe.
When I was 16 I did something terribly violent and put other people's lives in danger ..... my construction worker father took me into the garage and said "One of us is not coming out".
He then dared me to hit him....and when I wouldn't he hit me....not a spanking, a knock me on my ass punch.
I got up and gave him my best shot....then we went in the house, he gave me a beer and we've never had a cross word since.
And I never, ever hit anyone again unless it was self defense.
I got cracked a few times as a kid but it was well deserved. That video is messed up. My dad used to get beaten like that regularly. Even worse shit like having his dad pull guns on him. He got a phone call from his brother one day when i was 16. He came back in the room beaming with joy like he'd just won the lotto. The call was to let him know his dad was dead. It's one of the happiest moments I've ever seen my dad have.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
I can see the value in challenging popular/widely accepted/status quo thinking on a whole heap of topics.
This is border-line sick.
Forget the beating I can't believe she had to live amid that awful, drab decor.
Not kidding.
Yes she was getting a beating NOT a spanking and it went on and on and was cruel and disgraceful.
My parents were laid back folks but strict all the same. I got spanked when I was naughty or didn't listen. It was fine and I was a well behaved little girl for the most part. This is different. This man was hitting his child, hurting her and telling her to lay down. And getting his wife in on it. As a girl it's very important to feel like your father protects you physically in the world. This I know. It's just different with girls, and feel free to disagree with me but it differs with boys and girls. A spanking from a girls father, maybe, but this is very different from a spanking.
what would you all do if you saw a parent beating/abusing a child in public and crossing what yo ufelt was the line of parenting and abuse? would you intervene?
my friend used to be real bent out of shape by the verbal bullying that youd see mothers do to their kids in public fairly regularly in philly. he told me each time he witnessed it he was going to walk up to the parent and say "shut up!" i told him to be prepared to get punched in the face
The closest I've come a something like this was at last years Folsom Street parade (freaky deaky sex world). I saw a bunch of people there with kids in strollers. Normally I'm not the type to tell people how to raise their offspring, but but bringing little kids around people jerking-off and getting flogged in the street is just creepy. I didn't say anything to the parents (just an ice grill) but I complained to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence who run the gates. I'm happy to say I went this year and didn't see I single little kid.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
I can see the value in challenging popular/widely accepted/status quo thinking on a whole heap of topics.
This is border-line sick.
No border line about it, Brian's reasoning is sick.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
Brian just wants attention, can't we collectively step over his corpse here and ignore him
The wife- This guy got his wife in on the action but the news reports about this said that she was being physically abused and beaten by him also. Sounds like she complied out of fear but she still hurt her handicapped child so she sucks too.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
I hope you don't have children
I have three children and they're all well-behaved.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
I hope you don't have children
I have three children and they're all well-behaved.
yeah but are you?
DocMcCoy"Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,913 Posts
From what I've been able to gather after reading a little about the background, the mother was being terrorised by this dude too. That said, my brother is a social worker who looks after abused kids, many of them sexually abused, and he's said to me that people would be horrified if they knew how many abusers were women. The figures are a lot higher than you'd think, but it's the cases involving male abusers that fit more readily within the popular narrative regarding child abuse.
Also, it occurs to me that if the girl had sufficient presence of mind to film it, even surreptitiously, then it must have been the kind of thing that took place pretty frequently. Guess Judge Adams was really big on discipline and personal responsibility.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
I hope you don't have children
I have three children and they're all well-behaved.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
I hope you don't have children
I have three children and they're all well-behaved.
am i the only one who doesn't see a problem with this?
It kind of excited you, right?
Jeezus.
It didn't excite me but we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
I hope you don't have children
I have three children and they're all well-behaved.
we have a severe discipline and personal responsibility problem in this country. If this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid.
The person with the "severe discipline and personal responsibility problem" in this case is the Judge who does not have the self-discipline to control himself and refrain from beating his own child or wife in anger and does not have one iota of understanding of his personal responsibility to protect his child from harm.
I assume the Judge was beaten severely as a child himself, but that doesn't make him right and doesn't excuse his barbaric actions. I wouldn't be surprised if he was sexually abusive to his daughter and wife as well (but "if this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid."! )
I was actually on Reddit when this whole thing went off yesterday. Watching it go from a couple of posts, to 4chan, to internet wildfire and ultimately national news within 24hrs is some crazy shit.
I've never hit my kids, but I have given a spanking or two (defined as a swat on teh ass). I could never imagine doing something like that video though. My father was beaten regularly as a child all the way up into his teens. He lost hearing in one of his ears because of it. To this day he hates his father and told me he was glad when he died. I don't think certain people realize the long term impact physical and verbal abuse has on children.
The mother is just as much of a piece of shit. "turn around and take it like a grown woman"... please... if you discipline a child, do it and get it done with but don't make a whole preformance out of it and get high on the power trip. Plus, what the girl supposedly did wasn't anything that should demand any form of physical punishment regardless what your opinion on disciplining kids may be. The whole scene is totally psycho. Dad is clearly feeding off of the situation, he's a sick fuck and a potential sociopath. "I will beat you into submission"... Both parents should have had their kid(s) taken away and their tubes tied, end of story.
Comments
This is what it is all about, isnt it?
On the extreme end I didn't intervene for a neighbor girl who we all knew was in an awful situation with extreme type threats and verbal abuse. ("If you don't _______, I will kill your cat.")
She eventually called Child Welfare. Her mom's husband was arrested.
When mom got home she went and bailed him out which lead to the daughter being put in foster care.
The mom had the choice of living with her abusive husband, or her daughter, and chose him.
Other neighbors tried to adopt or foster her, but since they lived near the parents they were not allowed. They kept in touch with her for a while, but she was constantly being moved from foster home to foster home and they lost touch.
The parents were gleeful, telling everyone they were empty nesters and had much more money now.
The idea that you will say something, and the parent will have an epiphany and start acting right is a fantasy. Often the child is better off in foster care, but often foster care sucks, and we love our parents despite their inability to express themselves with out violence.
I hope so.
pretty great this is being spread all over and the judge is being investigated http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/police-probe-alleged-texas-judge-beating-video-14866403#.TrGahnGKWHk
Even though i couldn't stand that Girl with a Dragon Tattoo movie, I couldn't help but think of that revenge plot when I read about this story/saw that video.
brian...what exactly are you allright with? beating and cursing at a 16 year old with a belt as if she was a dog?
You trollin' dirty
I don't know that what's going on in this video and what many of us are referring to here is the same thing. When I was younger, my parents would sometimes give me a clout if I seriously misbehaved. I maybe got the belt once, and I'm not even certain that I wasn't just threatened with it. I think I got the cane at school more often than I was physically punished with anything other than the flat of my parent's hands. Either way, I would never describe what I got as a beating. I was never left with marks on my body. I never lived in fear of my parents, nor did I instinctively cower from them whenever they raised their voices for whatever reason. Parents shouldn't be afraid to physically discipline a child when the circumstances call for it. After all, who said parenting was supposed to be easy? Failing to do so can do more harm than good in the long run. I'm glad my parents hit me when I got out of line, because the fear of it taught me to avoid trouble. I know some people consider it a rite of passage of sorts, but I'm kind of proud of the fact I've never spent a night in jail in my life, and I've got my folks to thank for that.
When I was 16 I did something terribly violent and put other people's lives in danger ..... my construction worker father took me into the garage and said "One of us is not coming out".
He then dared me to hit him....and when I wouldn't he hit me....not a spanking, a knock me on my ass punch.
I got up and gave him my best shot....then we went in the house, he gave me a beer and we've never had a cross word since.
And I never, ever hit anyone again unless it was self defense.
I can see the value in challenging popular/widely accepted/status quo thinking on a whole heap of topics.
This is border-line sick.
Not kidding.
Yes she was getting a beating NOT a spanking and it went on and on and was cruel and disgraceful.
My parents were laid back folks but strict all the same. I got spanked when I was naughty or didn't listen. It was fine and I was a well behaved little girl for the most part. This is different. This man was hitting his child, hurting her and telling her to lay down. And getting his wife in on it. As a girl it's very important to feel like your father protects you physically in the world. This I know. It's just different with girls, and feel free to disagree with me but it differs with boys and girls. A spanking from a girls father, maybe, but this is very different from a spanking.
The closest I've come a something like this was at last years Folsom Street parade (freaky deaky sex world). I saw a bunch of people there with kids in strollers. Normally I'm not the type to tell people how to raise their offspring, but but bringing little kids around people jerking-off and getting flogged in the street is just creepy. I didn't say anything to the parents (just an ice grill) but I complained to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence who run the gates. I'm happy to say I went this year and didn't see I single little kid.
No border line about it, Brian's reasoning is sick.
Truly disgusting.
I hope you don't have children
The wife- This guy got his wife in on the action but the news reports about this said that she was being physically abused and beaten by him also. Sounds like she complied out of fear but she still hurt her handicapped child so she sucks too.
yeah but are you?
Also, it occurs to me that if the girl had sufficient presence of mind to film it, even surreptitiously, then it must have been the kind of thing that took place pretty frequently. Guess Judge Adams was really big on discipline and personal responsibility.
I don't think my three kids' welfare is in danger bro.
The person with the "severe discipline and personal responsibility problem" in this case is the Judge who does not have the self-discipline to control himself and refrain from beating his own child or wife in anger and does not have one iota of understanding of his personal responsibility to protect his child from harm.
I assume the Judge was beaten severely as a child himself, but that doesn't make him right and doesn't excuse his barbaric actions. I wouldn't be surprised if he was sexually abusive to his daughter and wife as well (but "if this is how this fine member of the court felt was the best way to confront these issues then who am I to say anything against it? It's his kid."! )
I've never hit my kids, but I have given a spanking or two (defined as a swat on teh ass). I could never imagine doing something like that video though. My father was beaten regularly as a child all the way up into his teens. He lost hearing in one of his ears because of it. To this day he hates his father and told me he was glad when he died. I don't think certain people realize the long term impact physical and verbal abuse has on children.