Long Distance Relationships: yes or no?

Danno3000Danno3000 2,838 Posts
edited August 2005 in Off Topic (NRR)
You guys are all a bunch of gay lotharios, so help a fellow out: is a long distance relationship worth it? Under what conditions do they work? Do you have advice on making them succesful? Two months ago I would never have dreamed that I would ever be in any sort of meaningful relationship, but now I find myself needing to know these things. Help out an ignorent love struck fool.And yeah, I called you gay lotharios. Deal with it.
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  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    Under what conditions do they work?

    NONE

  • Danno3000Danno3000 2,838 Posts
    well damn, that's bleak


  • Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos.

  • TREWTREW 2,037 Posts
    You guys are all a bunch of :ahem:[/b] lotharios, so help a fellow out: is a long distance relationship worth it? Under what conditions do they work? Do you have advice on making them succesful?

    marry her, and at least one of you has to make regular visits.

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    Under what conditions do they work?

    NONE

  • TREWTREW 2,037 Posts
    oh yeah, it's also depends on what you mean by 'work'.

  • HAZHAZ 3,373 Posts
    You guys are all a bunch of gay lotharios, so help a fellow out: is a long distance relationship worth it? Under what conditions do they work? Do you have advice on making them succesful?

    Two months ago I would never have dreamed that I would ever be in any sort of meaningful relationship, but now I find myself needing to know these things. Help out an ignorent love struck fool.

    And yeah, I called you gay lotharios. Deal with it.




    I'll miss you, too. We can make it work

    h

  • GambleGamble 844 Posts
    You guys are all a bunch of gay lotharios,

    Did Kanyeezy teach you nothing?

  • i did it. don't recommend it. i was with the girl for 5 years before we went long distance. everytime we got together after that it took a day or two to get used to being together, then a week or so later she or i would leave and it would take a few days to get used to not being with her again. eventually the distance took its toll.

    if you haven't been with her/him for a long time its not worth it. a two month relationship turned into a long distance relationship probably won't last. won't say it can't last, but you barely know somebody after two months, and them leaving doesn't help you get to know them no matter how much you write or talk on the phone.

  • mylatencymylatency 10,475 Posts
    i did it. don't recommend it.


  • parsecparsec 5,087 Posts
    How far away is he/she?

    How long is your penis?

    Sayin

  • Danno3000Danno3000 2,838 Posts
    Ok, so the consensus is forget it. Next question: how to you get over a relationship that was all fine and dandy until you had to move across country? Time to return to being a cad?

  • oosioosi 40 Posts
    summer love going away to school?...same thing happened to me last year and we decided to try the long distance,,everyone i talked to said i was nuts or theyve done it before and never worked out..well after 10 months, she graduated and were still going strong...im not going to lie though its hell..dont think too much about it..do what feels right..i wouldve kicked my own ass if we had decided to "see what happens" when she got back....how long is it time/distance?..do yall have an end goal to be together physically?....only advice i can give ya is do what ya feel! take others advice constuctivly and mostly make sure shes ready to give the same effort you are..good luck

  • BamboucheBambouche 1,484 Posts
    Two months ago I would never have dreamed that I would ever be in any sort of meaningful relationship, but now I find myself needing to know these things. Help out an ignorent love struck fool.

    BigD,

    I did it for 2 years. California to New York. Phone bills out the fucking roof. Seeing eachother once every 3 months. It was hard. But we were in love. We laugh about it now, but there were a few rough patches. It's hard to have every conversation on the phone. Sometimes simple things make it much better.

    We're both pretty mellow, yielding types. I certainly can't see it working well for someone who's needy, cheaty, or unable to compromise.

    I wish you the best in this. PM if you want to chop it up.

  • volumenvolumen 2,524 Posts
    Yea, it's relative to how far away they are. In a big city you can drive 45 min to get to some one. So driveing that far to another city (the burbs), to me, isn't that big of a deal.

    If it's a really long distance (another state, 4-5 hours) then you may want to give it a shot, but be very carefull. Don't kid yourself about the distance, don't give her lots of money or make her think your a push over. I work with a guy who dates someone 4 hours away and they just take turns doing the traveling every weekend. So it works for them. SOmetimes if you busy haveing the time apart can be nice.

    But, usually it doesn't work so be carefull!

  • oosioosi 40 Posts
    dont worry about the 2 months deal either..my family and friends mentioned the same shit to me..

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,518 Posts
    I had many. They sucked.

    When I met the woman who is now my wife, I told her I was going with her wherever she went to graduate school. Ok, I didn't tell her that when I met her, but I told her when we knew we were serious that I wasn't losing another good relationship to the long distance thing.

    We moved to a hellhole called Syracuse NY, spent 2 1/2 years there. Relized if we could make it through Syracuse we could make it through anything.

    Go Big Orange,
    Dan

  • Ok, so the consensus is forget it. Next question: how to you get over a relationship that was all fine and dandy until you had to move across country? Time to return to being a cad?

    fuck another girl that looks like her and dump her...

    oh wait that is what is supposed to work for a girl who dumps you.

    no good way to get over a relationship man. time. get yourself busy as hell. the more you can bury yourself in things to do the less time you have to sit and think about how good things were.

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    Under what conditions do they work?

    NONE

    Seriously....they are possible if you have already been together and plan to be back together in a concrete time period.

    The only other thing they are good for is to bone up on your romantic love poetry, cuz clearly that's the only bonin' you'll be doing.


  • Sun_FortuneSun_Fortune 1,374 Posts
    see if you can get her to move where you're moving. or move where you're moving, see if you miss her and if you do get her to move out. my 2. be bold in love.

  • Danno3000Danno3000 2,838 Posts
    alright! oosi and bam come in with some much friendlier opinions--this is what i wanted to hear; thanks guys

  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    i did it. don't recommend it. i was with the girl for 1 year[/b] before we went long distance. i called her one day ..we talked for a few minutes..she said she had to go do something...i asked "so, you gonna call me back later?"...her ex boyfriend picked up the other phone line and says "HELL NAH!!"[/b]

  • Under what conditions do they work?

    You have $1 million available strictly for airfare.

  • Dan -

    The only way it will work is if you are working towards living in the same city, or you travel so much that you don't really call one place home.

    Everything else is just communication. And I would not enforce a monogamy policy. Give the person freedom, and give yourself some too. If you are both (truly) committed you won't stray. But I'm a romantic at heart...

  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    Next question: how to you get over a relationship that was all fine and dandy until you had to move across country?

    the best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else

  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts
    Let's put it this way...

    Long-distance relationships work best if there is some sort of plan in live near or together again.

    Otherwise you will end up being completely frustrated.

  • BrianBrian 7,618 Posts
    Make sure you get a tight cell phone plan or you will be paying crazy amounts

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    Phone bills out the fucking roof. [/b]

    I forgot....it's GREAT for this.


  • oosioosi 40 Posts
    get the "in network" plan...do not get pissed hang up, get drunk, and call around 5 am after tequllia shots...worste next day feeling on lotsa levels

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    alright! oosi and bam come in with some much friendlier opinions--this is what i wanted to hear; thanks guys

    Danno you seem like a nice guy so I am gonna be straight with you. The above statement tells me what everyone knew at the jump...you will do it because it's what you want. And I am not gonna tell you that you are foolish or stupid for wanting or doing it.

    But unless you two have a plan and are of exactly the same frame of mind....just be easy with everything or you will be in for a real let down. It fails far more often than it works. And that's being extremely charitable.
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