TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Junior said:

    ???If City is succesful, it will be because of excellent transfer activity and coaching. The best players on the field today were Kompany (8m), Silva (24m), Balotelli (24m), Aguerro (38m), Richard (academy), none of them an exorbitant purchase.

    The game done changed.........

    Coming from a Man U fan that's a bit rich to complain about spending. Of that list only Aguerro tops any UTD purchases. And I think that Silva & Balotelli were bargains at 24m each.

    You misunderstand me. I have no issue with any team spending lots of money these days - it's the way the premiership is and no amount of griping on my part is going to change that. It was more that a 38 million pound purchase is not seen as in any way exorbitant.

    Regarding Citeh's ranking, I think a result like Sunday's is exactly the kind of thing they need to build their confidence and also silence doubters who pointed at the easy run of fixtures to start the season (even if tehy did catch Utd at the perfect moment). I don't necessarily think that it fixes the issues they have with the balance in their team though or their tendency to run extremely hot and cold. They're definitely in the strongest position for the Permiership at the moment but I also expect them to drop a fair few points this season so it's more to do with whether other teams sort it out or not.
    CL wise, I would say that if they play up to their potential though I think they could really be something special. However they've looked nervous and stroppy so far in the competition so whether they can adapt quickly enough this season is definitely in question.

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Paul said:
    Without sounding like too much of a blinkered United fan, I honestly believed the comeback was on until the stoppage time meltdown which tactically resembled the Charge of the Light Brigade.

    Paul, you've gone to OPTA or one of those sites in the past, can you dredge up how many shots (on target) Man U managed? Not many from memory. Plenty of possession in dangerous areas, but Citeh never looked like conceding. It feels like Citeh are the only PL team in the same bracket as Barca or Real Madrid. I don't think that any other English team would make them break a sweat at the moment.


    Well apart from Fletcher scoring obviously, you have a point, however there was a chance that fell to Smalling nearing the mid 80 min mark that could have made it 3-2 Considering the manner in which United have doled out the defeats on City (I can think of 5 memorable victories in the last 2/3 seasons) anything is possible.

    I'd recommend this article on Zonal Marking about the game. Makes some good points.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Cool - will check that article.

    EDIT: just a little gloat -

    On Twitter just now:

    @bluevibe

    Mario Balotelli is currently driving around Manchester City Centre in a convertible Bentley (music blaring, top down), high fiving City fans



    b/w



    I was at this wedding (don't worry, have already viewed clip to ensure I don't feature) during my holiday in Memphis. My kin are proper rednecks!

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Ekotto:



    AMID unprecedented levels of schadenfreude, England said it is now time it had its own word for it.

    As teams people hate lost badly, fans have agreed to come together and devise a proper English term that captures the sheer intensity of malicious sporting glee.

    Early suggestions include 'badhappy', 'fergendipity' and 'fuckyoument' ('when the sixth goal went in I was overcome with fuckyoument').

    Meanwhile Scottish people have suggested the word 'Scottish'.

    Yesterday's festival of fuckyoument began mid-morning when France was beaten in a rugby world cup final that England had no hope of reaching and climaxed when millions experienced the dirty thrill of cheering on Joey Barton.

    Sportologist Wayne Hayes said: "When Chris Foy started waving his yellow card at the Chelsea players like a Manchester United fan trying to hail a cab outside Old Trafford, I really did fear I was going to wank myself unconscious."

    Experts at the Institute for Studies have produced a seismic timeline after measuring yesterday's events with their schadenfreudometer.

    0900: France try to out-stare the New Zealand haka but just look like 15 veal calves staring at a stun gun. Everyone giggles a bit.

    1030: New Zealand somehow manage to choke in the final of a major tournament yet again but still beat France. Commemorative garments are ordered.

    1353: Manchester United concede a goal to a man unable to not burn his own house down.

    1432: Jonny Evans. The English Defence League releases a statement announcing its immediate disbanding, claiming that a country where stuff like this happens can't be too bad after all.

    1514: Dzeko scores a goal by mistake. Millions see Alex Ferguson chewing gum so furiously he appears to be beating it up in his mouth. Mobile phone networks go into meltdown with people texting 'Aaaaaaaaah!' to everybody in their contacts list.

    1610: Chelsea's David Luiz concedes a penalty after acting like a pensioner trying to get to the front of a bus queue. England holds its sides and asks the television to please stop.

    1707: England get another one-day hammering from India, but the nation barely notices as John Terry is currently looking like a little boy who's just had his PS3 confiscated by a massive, lesbian gym teacher.

    1745: With seven Chelsea players booked and two sent off, QPR manage to beat them with a squad costing roughly the same as Fernando Torres' smallest eye lash.

    1800: Oxford English Dictionary confirms spent, gleeful nation must now have its own word for what has just happened.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,905 Posts
    Does this mean before every match Balotelli needs to burn down his home? Maybe just the United ones...

    Ferguson worst defeat ever? I'm surprised he admitted it so easily.

  • discos_almadiscos_alma discos_alma 2,164 Posts
    Watching Man U get throttled like that was a great way to start my sunny Sunday.

    b/w

    The real matchup this season is seeing who will end up in last place in the Strut Fantasy league. Jimster and I have been going back and forth for weeks!

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    I cunningly withdrew all City activity from my squad after 25 years of false dawns and repeatedly ending up on my knees beating the floor with my fist after YET ANOTHER Fergie-time calamaty.

    Surely you'd also have to fancy last year's Runners Up with an in-form Fat Frank and The Scouse to roll over the n00bs?


  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    The weekend's schadenfreude tempered by the once hilarious and unthinkable possibility of City winning the Prem before us drawing unnervingly closer.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    The weekend's schadenfreude tempered by the once hilarious and unthinkable possibility of City [del]winning[/del] [del]buying[/del] closing the purchase of the Prem before us drawing unnervingly closer.

    Fixed

    :smirk:

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    The fact that this isn't a photoshop fills me full of indescribable joy.


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    It wasn't actually SuperMaz that set 'im yard afire, it was his brother and his friend. But, it's too good a story...

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Yeah you know what they say about legends and facts.

    The fact that this happened in the early hours of the morning and he then went out and destroyed Utd just underlines why he should be celebrated as the most exciting footballer to join the premiership in years. He's incredibly talented, he writes stupid messages on his t-shirt, he throws darts at youths and he lets his friends set off fireworks in his bathroom. I applaud the man.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Junior said:
    The fact that this isn't a photoshop fills me full of indescribable joy.


    2 questions. What planet is he from? What do you suppose he'd do if Citeh win the Prem?

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    My current theory is that we blew the game on purpose, why else would Fergie pick Evans. It was to convince the Glazers (of which all 20 were in attendance) to spend even more money.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Paul said:
    My current theory is that we blew the game on purpose, why else would Fergie pick Evans. It was to convince the Glazers (of which all 20 were in attendance) to spend even more money.

    By a strange coincidence I felt that was the same thing with Wenger against Man U. Normally when things go wrong, Arsene gets out of his seat and does that thing where one arm hangs against his side while the other is held outwards with an open palm (not pointing, more of a passive-aggressive invitation to look towards the events that vex him), and he'll remonstrate a bit with a linesman or third official about the ref, the lack of a penalty, or Theo's demands to be played as a centre-forward despite no discernable inclination to shoot on target. Wenger's drawn out way of saying what the fuck is that all about?. There was none of that against UTD. He just looked a bit stroppy.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    Paul said:
    My current theory is that we blew the game on purpose, why else would Fergie pick Evans. It was to convince the Glazers (of which all 20 were in attendance) to spend even more money.
    Let it go man. You got a spanking. end of. no ayo. you must deal. etc.


  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    also. GPOY


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Mario Balotelli.

    Age: 21.

    Appearance: Confusion with a haircut.

    Which Mario Balotelli are we talking about here? There's more than one Mario Balotelli?

    I'm sure I've read about six or seven. Really?

    Sure. One's a young and incredibly talented footballer who plays for Manchester City and scored two of the team's six goals against rivals Manchester United in a paradigm-shifting game on Sunday. That's this one. Who are the others?

    One's a generous and eccentric millionaire who walked out of a casino one night and handed ??1,000 in cash to a homeless man. Also this one. And the others?

    An easily angered simpleton who garnered 4.4m views on YouTube after spending a minute and a half on camera trying and failing to put on a bib? Same guy.

    A daft young lad who nearly burnt down his house throwing fireworks out of a bathroom window with his mates at 1am? Still this guy. That was on Saturday morning.

    I thought he played in a match the next day. He did. Throwing fireworks out of windows at 1am is just how he relaxes before a game. Any more?

    A boy racer found at the scene of a car crash with ??5,000 in his pocket? Same guy.

    Well, what about ??? I'll stop you there. It's almost certainly him. In fact, the weirder and wilder the story, the more likely Balotelli's involved, be it touring Naples with the mafia, throwing darts at young footballers or taking a truanting schoolboy back to class and confronting the kid's bully.

    What about the young wildlife enthusiast I met on a walking holiday in the Lake District? Especially him. As well as a footballing genius, a reluctant bib-wearer and a midnight arsonist, he's known as a passionate nature lover and a regular visitor to safari parks.

    So there really is only one Mario Balotelli? Yes. And one's enough.

    Do say: "He's as good as a young Eric Cantona ???"

    Don't say: "and as weird as an old Paul Gascoigne."

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    Okem said:
    Let it go man. You got a spanking. end of. no ayo. you must deal. etc.


    Finally put in terms I can understand.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Along with Fergy-time, another reason for UTD's success has been clairvoyance:


  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Paul said:
    My current theory is that we blew the game on purpose, why else would Fergie pick Evans. It was to convince the Glazers (of which all 20 were in attendance) to spend even more money.

    I like this theory and am happy to accept it as fact. Ol' Purplenose sees all, Ol' Purplenose knows all.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    Alex Ferguson has just signed a London Black Cab to play in Goal. In an interview he said "well, its a gamble, but on the plus side, he only let's 5 in"



  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,905 Posts
    Fucking quality.



    2nd goal was pretty nice as well.



  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,960 Posts
    Some sublime skillz from the one SESK for Goal #5 (it was an 8-niller - there's nowt like a competitive league, eh?)....


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts
    And all those Arsenal-haters who didn't think Cesc would get a game. Pfft. It was no step up for him imo, just that most of the players around him weren't good enough. Spend Wenger, SPEND!

    It's great to watch a striker like Suarez. He gets the ball and his single-minded determination to make a scoring opportunity for himself is fascinating. Learn Arsenal, LEARN!

  • i'm no best-league-in-the-world cheerleader, but there is no way cesc is getting that much space to turn in the penalty area against a premier league side... or, at the very least, not one that isn't already 4 goals down.

    still, i'd welcome him back to arsenal any time he gets bored with the procession of wins at barca.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    After everything our Gooner contingent has had to endure this season, I think they deserve the opportunity to laugh at, rather than be laughed at by, others for a change. To this end, I give you...


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,794 Posts

  • Terry wasn't going to get to that anyway.
    He fell to try to hide the embarassment.
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