Aside from what my interests/politics/etc may be, I really felt out of step for the time I didn't have a cell, no internet access at home or work, no cable, no CD player and no mp3 player...and not because I was trying to make a statement, I just didn't need them or have any desire to own them. I've joined the masses for some of those things and definitely feel more connected/on the inside than before. Both worlds are OK.
"My co-workers/acquaintances are always saying things like ???You hang out with weird folks??????or??????You live a strange life??? and my answer is always???
That???s because ???normal??? people like you are boring as hell."
Your a Teacher? That's a wonderful gig. But its not like ur a Tranny Bartender @ a Horror-themed restaurant. Just sayin. Its all in context.
I'm talking mainstream in the red meat/football/shopping mall/tv/car/usa today type of way that's been discussed in this thread. Not in any deeper sense.
I know that I, and basically everyone here, is vanilla flavored compared to a real deviant. I'm right there with you.
herm, my man....let me echo on this thread about F*ck fitting in. you know what you like to do and what makes you happy, so dont deviate far from that.
that being said, there are people we care about, family, old friends, neighbors and coworkers (maybe), etc that are still factors in our lives, so sometimes you gotta pay your dues and go to that wedding or that sports bar or club and be around drunks and small talk. i think its important to show up and chill for a minute on their terms...network a little, meet someone new, then bounce. ive made some good connections like that...but i make sure to go by myself, so that i can also bounce whenever im feeling the need. but i dont feel bad about that. but its good to push our boundaries and circles of friends once in awhile so we dont start getting completely cocooned/complacent. i guess making a family can do that sometimes....not that its a bad thing.
i actually bugged the hell out early on in college...an easy place to not fit in. i couldnt deal with anyone at all. and i had to take time and think about how people dealt with each other on real basic levels, 1 on 1, 3 people, in small groups, in crowds, at parties, etc. I read JAmes Baldwin's Another Country at the same time and it echoes some of the alienation i was feeling, so that helped normalize it a little. what really helped me was finding higher purpose in life. for some people its religion (not me). coupled with getting out in to nature every once in a while (the ocean, forests, redwoods, etc) reminds me of my complete insignifcance in the grand scheme and in a way was very liberating. it really helped me have a genuine "dont give a F*ck what you think" comfort, but having some purpose in life helps me stay focused on my goals
last thing...im sure all the people you mentioned in your post appreciate your presence in their life. they dont want another clone of their other friends...i hope they appreciate the menudo shoe wearing, weird music rocking, flea market shopping, young at heart player hermillio. whether they know it or not, their lives are enriched by the diversity you bring.
Sheeeeit, make 'em fit in to you. That's the way I've always been forced to deal with it. Trying to fit in will only hold you back from the real. If you are truly on some good shit, no matter how "weird", you'll find people attracted to it more than you even want them to be.
It's not really about what you don't like that everyone else does like. It's about what you do like that others have yet to be put up on...basically what you are bringing to the table apart from just your ever-nodding meathead.
If we aren't original, we are nothing.
shit, we are talking about adults here...this is starting to sound like a f*cking after school pep talk to the kid with blue hair who is sad because no one will sit with them at lunch. True, be yourself, but if you have to be around certain people 8-10 hours a day because you work with them, I have found to be congenial and to have a smooth day, it is to try and get along with people...like batmon said, it isnt like anyone on here is surrounded by folks who dont approve of a truly outside the norm lifestyle....number one, if you have a regular job with folks you view as "squares" or "sheep" well, you are lot closer to these folks than you might want to believe...keep in mind most of the real world doesnt give a F*ck about what you like, or your worldvie..just like you dont give a F*ck about their likes and worldview. "let them fit in with you" is some silly high school-level self esteem bullshit. No one on here is a true, outside of society, deviant. You might think your ideas are revolutionary, compared to Mr. Dockers, they might be, but if you have to spend time and work with Mr. Dockers, then you are closer to being a Mr. docker than you want to believe. Getting along with these people at work or at socail settings doesnt make you "ever-nodding meathead", it makes you a reasonable human being. Fly your freak flag, but dont think anyone is going to give a shit about it...realizing no one gives a shit doesnt make you a sell out nor does it make you "less real"...that kind of thinking is some self-important bullshit.
Your a Teacher? That's a wonderful gig. But its not like ur a Tranny Bartender @ a Horror-themed restaurant. Just sayin. Its all in context.
I'm talking mainstream in the red meat/football/shopping mall/tv/car/usa today type of way that's been discussed in this thread. Not in any deeper sense.
I know that I, and basically everyone here, is vanilla flavored compared to a real deviant. I'm right there with you.
No doubt.
Red Meat/Thai Food FootBall/Dodgeball Shopping Mall/Green Market TV/Tivo Car/Bike USA Today/Daily Show
Refuse to participate in small-talk and I don't watch movies.
What's wrong with small talk and movies? Small talk is how people maintain bonds of familiarity and friendship when there isn't something profound to discuss. Movies are good entertainment and, like Greek theater, can provide catharsis and insight into the human condition when done well.
shit, we are talking about adults here...this is starting to sound like a f*cking after school pep talk to the kid with blue hair who is sad because no one will sit with them at lunch. True, be yourself, but if you have to be around certain people 8-10 hours a day because you work with them, I have found to be congenial and to have a smooth day, it is to try and get along with people...like batmon said, it isnt like anyone on here is surrounded by folks who dont approve of a truly outside the norm lifestyle....number one, if you have a regular job with folks you view as "squares" or "sheep" well, you are lot closer to these folks than you might want to believe...keep in mind most of the real world doesnt give a F*ck about what you like, or your worldvie..just like you dont give a F*ck about their likes and worldview. "let them fit in with you" is some silly high school-level self esteem bullshit. No one on here is a true, outside of society, deviant. You might think your ideas are revolutionary, compared to Mr. Dockers[/b], they might be, but if you have to spend time and work with Mr. Dockers, then you are closer to being a Mr. docker than you want to believe. Getting along with these people at work or at socail settings doesnt make you "ever-nodding meathead", it makes you a reasonable human being. Fly your freak flag[/b], but dont think anyone is going to give a shit about it...realizing no one gives a shit doesnt make you a sell out nor does it make you "less real"...that kind of thinking is some self-important bullshit.
Refuse to participate in small-talk and I don't watch movies.
What's wrong with small talk and movies? Small talk is how people maintain bonds of familiarity and friendship when there isn't something profound to discuss. Movies are good entertainment and, like Greek theater, can provide catharsis and insight into the human condition when done well.
small talk is SMALL. i hate it. i like big talk. people gabbin' about a bunch of nuthin' just for recreation... i don't understand it and i never will. its things like this that will never allow me to fit in
(and before someone says it, soulstrut converstaions on the internet do not count as small talk)
I get away with making a loud noise and running away in small-talk situations.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
Sheeeeit, make 'em fit in to you. That's the way I've always been forced to deal with it. Trying to fit in will only hold you back from the real. If you are truly on some good shit, no matter how "weird", you'll find people attracted to it more than you even want them to be.
It's not really about what you don't like that everyone else does like. It's about what you do like that others have yet to be put up on...basically what you are bringing to the table apart from just your ever-nodding meathead.
If we aren't original, we are nothing.
shit, we are talking about adults here...this is starting to sound like a f*cking after school pep talk to the kid with blue hair who is sad because no one will sit with them at lunch. True, be yourself, but if you have to be around certain people 8-10 hours a day because you work with them, I have found to be congenial and to have a smooth day, it is to try and get along with people...like batmon said, it isnt like anyone on here is surrounded by folks who dont approve of a truly outside the norm lifestyle....number one, if you have a regular job with folks you view as "squares" or "sheep" well, you are lot closer to these folks than you might want to believe...keep in mind most of the real world doesnt give a F*ck about what you like, or your worldvie..just like you dont give a F*ck about their likes and worldview. "let them fit in with you" is some silly high school-level self esteem bullshit. No one on here is a true, outside of society, deviant. You might think your ideas are revolutionary, compared to Mr. Dockers, they might be, but if you have to spend time and work with Mr. Dockers, then you are closer to being a Mr. docker than you want to believe. Getting along with these people at work or at socail settings doesnt make you "ever-nodding meathead", it makes you a reasonable human being. Fly your freak flag, but dont think anyone is going to give a shit about it...realizing no one gives a shit doesnt make you a sell out nor does it make you "less real"...that kind of thinking is some self-important bullshit.
It's not bullshit in the least. There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society. Yeah, we all just want to kick back and keep things light and breezy between us in order to best get along. But shit ain't necessarily light and breezy all of the time. People need to be called out on their bullshit. But more importantly, people need to feel the freedom to be themselves without always having to consider what the good-ole-boys network is going to think about them.
And frankly, I don't know where you get so hung up on work people. I generally respect and get along with the people that I work with. I don't feel like I fit in with them at the same time, but it's all subtle stuff that never has me looking down at them as "sheep" or whatever. If things were different and I didn't respect my co-workers, I would pack up and find a new place to work.
Yeah, of course there is some compromise that comes with working in a corporate world...but those compromises are professional rather than personal.
So again, do you to the fullest no matter who might be standing in the way. Anything less is over-"civilized".
It's not bullshit in the least. There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society. Yeah, we all just want to kick back and keep things light and breezy between us in order to best get along. But shit ain't necessarily light and breezy all of the time. People need to be called out on their bullshit. But more importantly, people need to feel the freedom to be themselves without always having to consider what the good-ole-boys network is going to think about them.
There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society.[/b]
Like what? Serious question.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
It's not bullshit in the least. There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society. Yeah, we all just want to kick back and keep things light and breezy between us in order to best get along. But shit ain't necessarily light and breezy all of the time. People need to be called out on their bullshit. But more importantly, people need to feel the freedom to be themselves without always having to consider what the good-ole-boys network is going to think about them.
There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society.[/b]
Like what? Serious question.
Like people thinking that either one of 2 political parties represents them.
Refuse to participate in small-talk and I don't watch movies.
What's wrong with small talk and movies? Small talk is how people maintain bonds of familiarity and friendship when there isn't something profound to discuss. Movies are good entertainment and, like Greek theater, can provide catharsis and insight into the human condition when done well.
small talk is SMALL. i hate it. i like big talk. people gabbin' about a bunch of nuthin' just for recreation... i don't understand it and i never will. its things like this that will never allow me to fit in
(and before someone says it, soulstrut converstaions on the internet do not count as small talk)
I was just going to say it!
I feel you though, my capacity for small talk with people I don't know is down to almost zero. I used to be able to schmooze for hours on end about nothing at all. It is a talent I have almost totally lost. Personally, I really used to enjoy small talk with aquaintences, but that was when I had a million aquaintences. It was easy, so I enjoyed it. Now I just figure, what is being accomplished?
It's not bullshit in the least. There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society. Yeah, we all just want to kick back and keep things light and breezy between us in order to best get along. But shit ain't necessarily light and breezy all of the time. People need to be called out on their bullshit. But more importantly, people need to feel the freedom to be themselves without always having to consider what the good-ole-boys network is going to think about them.
There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society.[/b]
Like what? Serious question.
Like people thinking that either one of 2 political parties represents them.
"I'm a Democrat." - no, you're not.
Do you mean that someone claiming to be a Democrat is compromising, or someone denying that they could possibly be a democrat is compromising?
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
It's not bullshit in the least. There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society. Yeah, we all just want to kick back and keep things light and breezy between us in order to best get along. But shit ain't necessarily light and breezy all of the time. People need to be called out on their bullshit. But more importantly, people need to feel the freedom to be themselves without always having to consider what the good-ole-boys network is going to think about them.
There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society.[/b]
Like what? Serious question.
Like people thinking that either one of 2 political parties represents them.
"I'm a Democrat." - no, you're not.
Do you mean that someone claiming to be a Democrat is compromising, or someone denying that they could possibly be a democrat is compromising?
Umm, I'm saying that there is a profile, not just for a Democrat or a Republican, but also for a jock or a hipster or whatever, that too many people aspire to fit within...that they really don't.
And what happens is they play up things about them that work for that profile they are trying to match and downplay the things that don't work.
That's the compromise. The Democrat who doesn't recycle is going to go silent about how pointless a chore they think recycling is, but then they're going to talk for 6 hours about the 2 minutes they spent helping an old lady cross the street.
It's all fashion really.
I say instead, let the chips fall where they may and just be yourself. People don't like the things you say, it's their loss. Or if you've actually got shit wrong in your own head, speaking on it gives another person the chance to try to help you see another way. All of the suppression that friendly compromise entails basically keeps us from learning from each other.
I should've included the one fact that would've probably changed the whole tone of my post:
I get along with EVERYBODY.
Regardless how I feel about fitting in, I can sit and chat with strangers, sports maniacs, gay dudes, whoever. Sh*t, I manage 7 ladies most of which are in their mid 50's! So, to somebody's point in this thread, I have a lot in common with them in certain aspects.
But like I said, that's all just personality. Getting along and being friendly is totally different than fitting in, in my opinion.
I should've included the one fact that would've probably changed the whole tone of my post:
I get along with EVERYBODY.
Regardless how I feel about fitting in, I can sit and chat with strangers, sports maniacs, gay dudes, whoever. Sh*t, I manage 7 ladies most of which are in their mid 50's! So, to somebody's point in this thread, I have a lot in common with them in certain aspects.
But like I said, that's all just personality. Getting along and being friendly is totally different than fitting in, in my opinion.
you don't fit in cause you wear stupid ass boat shoes
Comments
same here.
This is what im really questioning.
The "Mainstream American Lifestyle"?
Your a Teacher? That's a wonderful gig. But its not like ur a Tranny Bartender @ a Horror-themed restaurant. Just sayin. Its all in context.
thats what America is, a nation of originals who are exactly like everybody else
"who me? no I'm not a hipster, thats them over there, I think for myself..."
lol
That???s because ???normal??? people like you are boring as hell."
Rockadelic speaks truth as usual.
I'm talking mainstream in the red meat/football/shopping mall/tv/car/usa today type of way that's been discussed in this thread. Not in any deeper sense.
I know that I, and basically everyone here, is vanilla flavored compared to a real deviant. I'm right there with you.
Its take way more energy fakin like your not like Joe Schmo.
Its the regular folk that have mad skeletons in their closets than the folks that line up at Star Trek Conventions.
Refuse to participate in small-talk and I don't watch movies.
that being said, there are people we care about, family, old friends, neighbors and coworkers (maybe), etc that are still factors in our lives, so sometimes you gotta pay your dues and go to that wedding or that sports bar or club and be around drunks and small talk. i think its important to show up and chill for a minute on their terms...network a little, meet someone new, then bounce. ive made some good connections like that...but i make sure to go by myself, so that i can also bounce whenever im feeling the need. but i dont feel bad about that. but its good to push our boundaries and circles of friends once in awhile so we dont start getting completely cocooned/complacent. i guess making a family can do that sometimes....not that its a bad thing.
i actually bugged the hell out early on in college...an easy place to not fit in. i couldnt deal with anyone at all. and i had to take time and think about how people dealt with each other on real basic levels, 1 on 1, 3 people, in small groups, in crowds, at parties, etc. I read JAmes Baldwin's Another Country at the same time and it echoes some of the alienation i was feeling, so that helped normalize it a little.
what really helped me was finding higher purpose in life. for some people its religion (not me). coupled with getting out in to nature every once in a while (the ocean, forests, redwoods, etc) reminds me of my complete insignifcance in the grand scheme and in a way was very liberating. it really helped me have a genuine "dont give a F*ck what you think" comfort, but having some purpose in life helps me stay focused on my goals
last thing...im sure all the people you mentioned in your post appreciate your presence in their life. they dont want another clone of their other friends...i hope they appreciate the menudo shoe wearing, weird music rocking, flea market shopping, young at heart player hermillio. whether they know it or not, their lives are enriched by the diversity you bring.
shit, we are talking about adults here...this is starting to sound like a f*cking after school pep talk to the kid with blue hair who is sad because no one will sit with them at lunch. True, be yourself, but if you have to be around certain people 8-10 hours a day because you work with them, I have found to be congenial and to have a smooth day, it is to try and get along with people...like batmon said, it isnt like anyone on here is surrounded by folks who dont approve of a truly outside the norm lifestyle....number one, if you have a regular job with folks you view as "squares" or "sheep" well, you are lot closer to these folks than you might want to believe...keep in mind most of the real world doesnt give a F*ck about what you like, or your worldvie..just like you dont give a F*ck about their likes and worldview. "let them fit in with you" is some silly high school-level self esteem bullshit. No one on here is a true, outside of society, deviant. You might think your ideas are revolutionary, compared to Mr. Dockers, they might be, but if you have to spend time and work with Mr. Dockers, then you are closer to being a Mr. docker than you want to believe. Getting along with these people at work or at socail settings doesnt make you "ever-nodding meathead", it makes you a reasonable human being. Fly your freak flag, but dont think anyone is going to give a shit about it...realizing no one gives a shit doesnt make you a sell out nor does it make you "less real"...that kind of thinking is some self-important bullshit.
No doubt.
Red Meat/Thai Food
FootBall/Dodgeball
Shopping Mall/Green Market
TV/Tivo
Car/Bike
USA Today/Daily Show
same shit to me.
What's wrong with small talk and movies? Small talk is how people maintain bonds of familiarity and friendship when there isn't something profound to discuss. Movies are good entertainment and, like Greek theater, can provide catharsis and insight into the human condition when done well.
BEAT THAT
Quotables for Dayz
i'm taking "Mr Dockers"
----
I thought my dislike of movies was odd.
I like documentaries but I've been to the Theater about 8 times in the last 25 years and 6 of those were kid movies when my girls were younger.
I also can't read fiction.
And science fiction makes my brain hurt.
And I don't really read fiction anymore, either. I'd rather read a textbook.
small talk is SMALL. i hate it. i like big talk. people gabbin' about a bunch of nuthin' just for recreation... i don't understand it and i never will. its things like this that will never allow me to fit in
(and before someone says it, soulstrut converstaions on the internet do not count as small talk)
It's not bullshit in the least. There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society. Yeah, we all just want to kick back and keep things light and breezy between us in order to best get along. But shit ain't necessarily light and breezy all of the time. People need to be called out on their bullshit. But more importantly, people need to feel the freedom to be themselves without always having to consider what the good-ole-boys network is going to think about them.
And frankly, I don't know where you get so hung up on work people. I generally respect and get along with the people that I work with. I don't feel like I fit in with them at the same time, but it's all subtle stuff that never has me looking down at them as "sheep" or whatever. If things were different and I didn't respect my co-workers, I would pack up and find a new place to work.
Yeah, of course there is some compromise that comes with working in a corporate world...but those compromises are professional rather than personal.
So again, do you to the fullest no matter who might be standing in the way. Anything less is over-"civilized".
There's far too much compromising of individuality that goes on in this society.[/b]
Like what? Serious question.
Like people thinking that either one of 2 political parties represents them.
"I'm a Democrat." - no, you're not.
I was just going to say it!
I feel you though, my capacity for small talk with people I don't know is down to almost zero. I used to be able to schmooze for hours on end about nothing at all. It is a talent I have almost totally lost. Personally, I really used to enjoy small talk with aquaintences, but that was when I had a million aquaintences. It was easy, so I enjoyed it. Now I just figure, what is being accomplished?
Do you mean that someone claiming to be a Democrat is compromising, or someone denying that they could possibly be a democrat is compromising?
only Ron Paul supporters are individualists
everyone else is a sheeplike follower
Umm, I'm saying that there is a profile, not just for a Democrat or a Republican, but also for a jock or a hipster or whatever, that too many people aspire to fit within...that they really don't.
And what happens is they play up things about them that work for that profile they are trying to match and downplay the things that don't work.
That's the compromise. The Democrat who doesn't recycle is going to go silent about how pointless a chore they think recycling is, but then they're going to talk for 6 hours about the 2 minutes they spent helping an old lady cross the street.
It's all fashion really.
I say instead, let the chips fall where they may and just be yourself. People don't like the things you say, it's their loss. Or if you've actually got shit wrong in your own head, speaking on it gives another person the chance to try to help you see another way. All of the suppression that friendly compromise entails basically keeps us from learning from each other.
I get along with EVERYBODY.
Regardless how I feel about fitting in, I can sit and chat with strangers, sports maniacs, gay dudes, whoever. Sh*t, I manage 7 ladies most of which are in their mid 50's! So, to somebody's point in this thread, I have a lot in common with them in certain aspects.
But like I said, that's all just personality. Getting along and being friendly is totally different than fitting in, in my opinion.
you don't fit in cause you wear stupid ass boat shoes