OLD ASS STRUTTERS- when did YOU realize it?
Phill_Most
4,594 Posts
that your ass was not young any more, i mean?of course, we all age everyday and we see little changes and signs that we are indeed aging. but when did that moment come when it really HIT you, like "daaaaaamn... i am officially one of 'them' now!" i know at least a few of y'all are far enough along to have had that moment of clarity, and many more of you will be experiencing it soon, trust me. some of y'all are in deep, deep denial about it (don't worry, that's normal). if you know what i'm talkin bout, plese add on with your old ass experiences.i had two of em a few years ago- i was walking down the street one day when i hear this voice yelling "yo old head!" I pays it no mind. Then I hear it again- "YO! OLD HEAD!" I see the dude who's yelling, then I look around... there's nobody else around but me. I'm wondering what's up with dude, then it hits me... this muthafucka is talking to me! 
I give him the evil eye but acknowledge that I hear him, and he asks me "where you get that hat from, old head?" 
the second one was when i took my family to the Universoul circus... there was some fancy clown walking around snapping pictures of the crowd and selling them. Bobo The Fool gets a shot of our section, then passes the picture to us to see if we want to buy it. I look at it and say to myself, "hey, this old dude is wearing the same mitchell & ness jacket and matching fitted that I'm wearing! And... he's sitting right next to my daughter." 
No, I don't wanna buy the fuckin' picture, dude 
come on, you old farts... humor us with your bitter tales of aging ungracefully! 
I give him the evil eye but acknowledge that I hear him, and he asks me "where you get that hat from, old head?" the second one was when i took my family to the Universoul circus... there was some fancy clown walking around snapping pictures of the crowd and selling them. Bobo The Fool gets a shot of our section, then passes the picture to us to see if we want to buy it. I look at it and say to myself, "hey, this old dude is wearing the same mitchell & ness jacket and matching fitted that I'm wearing! And... he's sitting right next to my daughter." No, I don't wanna buy the fuckin' picture, dude come on, you old farts... humor us with your bitter tales of aging ungracefully!
Comments
- when i started to refer to the younger DJs as "those kids"
- when i realized that i was starting to act like my father in certain situations.....
christ i'm getting old.
Living in the midwest preserves a man.
Hommie,
I'm in a bar the other night with some kids, my dads best friend's kids they are in the early 20s. So we are in this Irish pub in downtown Seattle Saturday night drinking MAD Jameson and black and tans and the place is PACKED! Then finally I look around the bar and start laughing to myself like DAMN I'm the oldest muthafucka up in here! LOL
Ouch. Hahah, next thing you know, they'll be sending you private messages.
How about when I was told that I was old because I criticized the Lakers!
dude's been blowing me up all day and now asking for proof of my catalog.
Those sound like the words of a certain certified Basketball Scientist...
I just hope I can get over like dude on the cover
I tell you, Phill, I got old at the 1997 3-on-3, King of the Court tournament in Akron, Ohio. I was in grad school, and living in the past (like old dudes do), me and my boys put beers down, got up off the couch, and signed up for the tournament. Now back in the days, I used to clown the old dudes, beat 'em off the dribble, and funk on their old assess (click-clank; breakaway rim, 42" vertical steeze). I would complain about their foulin', since they couldn't keep up. Me and my old potnas were handlin' our business through the first couple of rounds. Then, in the semis, we met these long, wirey, young-ass dudes (say around 19-21 years old) who ate, drank, and slept basketball. Those dudes were killin' us old dudes off the dribble, throwin' down tip-dunks, the whole nine. Now, I was the old-ass dude foulin'!!! The oldheads, we were pullin' on our shorts in fatigue. We played those dudes to sudden death, but they put us old farts out of our misery: elimination.
Oddly enough, this travesty of manhood made me get my ass back in shape (until 2001 or so when I fell off after marriage). I was at the Natatorium everyday after class, joggin' on the treadmill and weight-training (I'm bout to make another comeback!!!!). A year later, I was back to funkin' on cats at the park, but still I knew the "glory days" were over.
To add on, I forgot, playing hoop in 2000-2001 and hurtin' like hell for days afterwards was another sign that I was gettin' old. I was holdin' those cold packs on both knees after playing like I was fuckin' Patrick Ewing. Back when I was 21, on weekends, I use to run like 10 games of full court all day, take a shower, get dipped, and head out to the club and stay late (drankin' my ass off). Next morning, get up early, no hangover, and hoop all day again Sunday. I drink too much now, I'm hungover all day, the hell with playin' some ball, I'm incapacitated for the entire day.
Other signs of aging:
-Prostate exams at the yearly.
-Gray hairs everywhere.
-Balding.
-Nose hair (Yikes!).
-No card for alcohol at the grocery store.
-Young cats call you "sir" on occasion.
-I don't know any new music.
-Making references to old events, and my students lookin' at me like "what the fuck...?"
-My constant irritation with bad-ass, Bebe kids at the mall, grocery stores, etc.
-Reluctance to go ANYWHERE too many young cats hang out (I go to old folks bars).
-Absentmindedness (e.g., Walk in a room of the house, only to forget why the fuck you went in there in the first place).
-I'm becoming more conservative in my values (egads, I'm becoming...MY FATHER. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!; Next, I guess I'll be wearing those corny-ass pullovers with the waistband too).
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
yep, that happened to me too prior to the other incidents i mentioned previously. i let some li'l dudes from the neighborhood shoot around with me one time at a playground on Ridge Ave. I had to school one of the youngins with my old school crossover, and after breaking his little 11 year old ankles one of his boys clowned him with "you let that old man do that to you???" I just laughed that one off because at the time I was still wasn't really all that old, the kids were just very young- to them, anybody old enough to buy alcohol legally would be an old man. I was still young as far as I was concerned (the denial stage
I was in a store looking at some New Eras, cringing at some of the awful designs. The clerk (a young dude) said, "Yeah man, you wouldn't believe it these ugly ass hats fly off the shelves, it's not just the hat you know, you gotta have the whole outfit."
I said, "Yeah, like the 2007 version of Cross Colours."
"The 2007 of what now?"
I was 31 and working at a community newspaper; she was a 21-year-old college senior who worked in the same building as a paid intern. Even though I went out with college girls through my 20's, well after I'd graduated myself, I had just hit the big three-oh and frankly, this was the first time anybody over 18 ever told me I was too old for anything.
Now I fully expected to be considered ancient by anybody in high school or younger - that is not my world anymore, and I won't pretend it is. But when it's coming from someone who is technically an adult - WHOA, THAT WAS A FIRST!
But damn it hurts that the "retro music" that young hipsters are into is the stuff I listened to highschool. I thought nostalgia was supposed to have a longer time lag.
Wait, it actually HAS been 20 years since I was in high school.
Fuck.
I have this part, down pat!
35 made me think whoa, but i didnt see any differences.
now at 37 i see increased nosehair activity.
BUT: no grey hair, no bald spots, pants still fit from 10 years ago, can still skateboard respectably. so i dunno.
You need to get out more.
Observing a grey chest hair = OLD. I pulled the most prominent ones out on Saturday. It was less painful than having to see them.
This is hilarious.
You can never have enough screwdrivers / socket sets. The one missing socket will be the exact one you need for the job. Always.