Becoming a private dick

hertzhoghertzhog 865 Posts
edited April 2012 in Strut Central
Hey, I entertained the idea of channeling my inner Philip Marlowe with some friends. Setting up a private detective agency, that is. I'm great with details and reading people, but my credentials ain't much. Connections I can probably manage. I 'm in Euroland, so the market might not be so flooded up here as it is in my American dream.. Please knowledge me or humor me, Soulstrut.

B/W I'm about to pop in Altman's The Long Goodbye, and just read a pretty excellent Chandler biography.

  Comments


  • PATXPATX 2,820 Posts
    I heard one good quality to have is to be really discreet.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I worked as a professional detective for a year after graduating. Initial chat up lines apart, 'hey, I'm a dick. A professional dick', the work was somewhat gruelling. 90% of it is building connections and organising data feeds as well as not freaking out when you see some of the information you get back. It's a highly profitable industry though if you get your foot through the front door. More than happy to pass on tips and tricks in this field if you're interested.

  • DanteDante 371 Posts
    i was just thinking about private investigation the other day, as in: "i've never seen one of those in real life. i wonder if they still exist". of course, i have it associated with noir and shit.

    good luck!

  • PATXPATX 2,820 Posts
    What is the day to day like then?

    Cheating spouses?
    Disability fraudsters?
    Complex international webs of intrigue and sexyness?

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    i got a ride by a private detective while hitchhiking in colorado who told me story after story that mostly had to do with cheating spouses. those may have been the only ones interesting enough to share

  • HollafameHollafame 844 Posts
    My mom was a P.I. for a while.

    Generally speaking, it was intensely boring and monotonous work. The vast majority of her clients were insurance companies wanting to have a look at car accident injury claims - i.e. people claiming injuries so severe they cannot work, etc.

    I would imagine there is some more interesting work out there, but it seems the insurance stuff pays the bills.

  • So most of the work is basically snitching on cheating spouses for money?

  • hertzhoghertzhog 865 Posts
    StoneHands said:
    So most of the work is basically snitching on cheating spouses for money?

    Yeah, this is something I need to consider. Anyway, interesting responses. I'll probably be in touch later on down the road, Junior.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    My dick is private.

  • hertzhoghertzhog 865 Posts
    batmon said:
    My dick is private.

    Come on, I know you like that Long Goodbye cat food.

  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,032 Posts
    Where's Fatback at? He was/is in the PI biz.

  • i assume the only skill set required would be to have an above average ability to cut eye holes into newspapers.

  • DanteDante 371 Posts
    vintageinfants said:
    i assume the only skill set required would be to have an above average ability to cut eye holes into newspapers.

    dude, you're so off base.

    being handy with guns and using your natural charisma with felons are both indispensable skills


  • HorseleechHorseleech 3,830 Posts
    batmon said:
    My dick is private.

    Don't worry, I'm sure you'll meet that Special Someone one of these days!

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    hertzhog said:
    batmon said:
    My dick is private.

    Come on, I know you like that Long Goodbye cat food.

    MY LONG GOODBYE is usually private when i get my Night Moves On in Chinatown.

    My Body Heat of my Third Man is like The Killling on the White Heat that most likely takes a Big Sleep when im Smelling The Sweet Success on Sunset Blvd.

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    mannybolone said:
    Where's Fatback at? He was/is in the PI biz.

    You are thinking of the other DC dude connected with Mingering.

    In my younger days when I worked on my step fathers construction crew, we put a new roof on a building that housed a private investigation and security company, more Pinkerton that Marlow. The owner was shooting the shit with a couple of us one day and invited us inside to see the weapons room. I have never seen so many guns in my life. All kinds of crazy shit too, which had to be illegal. Most of the employees were ex cops too. It takes a scary bunch of douchbags to make a roofing crew seem sane.

  • JimsterJimster The Cruffiton liveth. 6,689 Posts
    Mate's sister does this on a corporate level, more of a cheeky spy I suppose. She basically networks and schmoozes folk in a number of languages about trade secrets (show me yours and etc...) She's mostly in pharmaceuticals on the continent. She often has to be the escrow/translator between two parties talking in code.

    I must add she doesn't have to "Put out." :D

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Mate's sister does this on a corporate level, more of a cheeky spy I suppose. She basically networks and schmoozes folk in a number of languages about trade secrets (show me yours and etc...) She's mostly in pharmaceuticals on the continent. She often has to be the escrow/translator between two parties talking in code.

    I must add she doesn't have to "Put out." :D

    No Honeypot

  • jamesjames chicago 1,863 Posts
    Horseleech said:
    batmon said:
    My dick is private.

    Don't worry, I'm sure you'll meet that Special Someone one of these days!
    Frankie Ford (pointing dejectedly at his crotch): "It's like Australia: everybody talks about it, but nobody goes there."

    Occasional soulstrutter Secret_Chimp was a P.I., I think.

  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    I have a friend who does this. He also drives a red Ferrari at night.

  • JectWonJectWon (@_@) 1,654 Posts
    You need to be prepared for very complicated cases. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you's. And, uh, lotta strands to keep in your head, man. Lotta strands in old hertzog's head. Hopefully, you're adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep your mind limber...

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