"personal Problems"

vintageinfantsvintageinfants 4,537 Posts
edited June 2011 in Strut Central
as stated in the "Stutters getting married" thread, i have recently gone through a saddening, yet equally beneficial, synergistic, and potentially overdue split with a significant other.

as part of the harmoniously conducted division of assets and four-legged companions, she, [name redacted], was granted custody of the two [2] felis catus, and i, [name redacted], the one [1] canis lupis familiaris.

it has recently come to my attention that during the visitation sessions happily agreed upon by both parties, [name redacted] has been showering said canine with high-end dog treats.

without any evidence to substantiate a claim, it is of my veneration that these "treats" are being employed as a form of coercion to have the "child" in question tell a judge that he wants to live with his mother when he is 16 years old [current age: 1 year, 2 months].

should i be contacting my lawyer?

  Comments


  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    At 16 vet bills go sky high.
    When the mutt is 16 let it go live with the ...

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    If I were to take your post seriously, I would say, let her give the dogs treats.
    Nice for her, nice for the dog.

  • LaserWolf said:
    At 16 vet bills go sky high.
    When the mutt is 16 let it go live with the ...

    i had planned on moving in with HIM at that stage of life.

    i'll be a lonely old man, in need of care. and he'll be a young, verile, handsome and successful chief of industry with a robust nightlife and a revolving door of buxom young ladies.


    it'll be pretty much exactly like "frasier".

  • DelayDelay 4,530 Posts
    Yes!

  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    watch out, or you'll be the one watching reruns of Frasier.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    I've got personal problems. I don't want to upgrade my phone so that I have the internet in my pocket at all times. I don't want to cut my hair into a faux-hawk either. I don't believe a single thing I hear from mainstream news services, to the point that I don't even pay any attention any more. I don't think good sex has to have anything to do with good love, although it certainly can. I drink coffee, but I'm not a coffee drinker. I work out regularly but don't feel the need to constantly post about it on Facebook. I feel like shit for giving my daughter a couple cups of cranberry juice over this past weekend that I later realized had high fructose corn syrup in it. I'm ready to shoot at drivers who seem to think that a right turn necessitates a complete stop halway through the process. I like to floss way more than I like to clip my fingernails. If I wanted to buy meals from a trailer, I'd get a job in construction. I still think people in real life are way more authentic than people on the internet. "Read a book you illiterate son of a bitch and step up your vocab." I'd rather be swimming. Records are cool and all, but they only spin in circles. There is a hot sauce for every situation. I put my pants on 3 legs at a time. I like to think that I will never be married again. This is just the beginning.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    I don't have any problems liking this...


  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts

  • Fred_GarvinFred_Garvin The land of wind and ghosts 337 Posts
    HarveyCanal said:
    There is a hot sauce for every situation.

    This is something I firmly believe. I think I may have a hot sauce problem, as I put it on almost all non-dessert foods.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    I don't have any problems not liking this...


  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    HarveyCanal said:
    II work out regularly but don't feel the need to constantly post about it on Facebook

    Damn, why you had to do Ross like that?

    Not cool!

  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    Harvey is my long-distance spotter. Act as if you know.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    MAX OUT.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    Even better...


  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    WHITE BOY WASTED.
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