31yo. Male and still a virgin..

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  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts

  • maybe crash some weddings----people always be hooking up at them.....well at least thats what happens in the movies!!haha!!
    Na, A mate had been without for quite some time and he just got laid last weekend at one!! some laydees go crazy at them!!

  • RockadelicRockadelic Out Digging 13,993 Posts
    Good point. I'm not a coke man myself, but there are women that will fuck Artie Lange for coke.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Coke Is It!

  • GnatGnat 1,183 Posts


    I seen this weird porn-video btw with a man age 35+ who is going down on some 16yo. pretty girl while a good-looking older lady is instructing them both to do so...
    I realize that is some experience no one can ever take away from that bastard ever. Jeezus i'm missing out. And these girls can make you feel so meaningless up inside. Is that girl power?

    16 yr old? Man WTF are you doing watching that? This can't be true cause if it is you're about to be raided by the po-po for child porn.
    Now THAT is no joke.

    How did I miss this?! How did any of us miss this?!?!

    I'm out now. This is just toooo creepy for me.

    Herm, honestly, I felt similarly creepy when you said you had locked yourself away for the weekend in a cheap motel with a swamp cooler in order to read the final Harry Potter book. That made me feel much more dirty that O.Y.'s comment. I mean, he's been sexually arrested since he was like 9, so such things seem appealing to him because he has not evolved from his immature mind-set. Unfortunately, being @ SS will only exacerbate the problem of having an immature mindset. So Herm, what was your exuse?

  • I am for real.
    I can't stand alcohol btw. Meaning I get goosebumps the moment I smell the liquid as if something is rotting but I get it. I used to try drinking Heineken. 2-3 glasses would put me in a nice trip for an hour. But I couldn't get over knowing about my physical appearance.

    GTFOOHWTBS!!!!!!!

  • SEX PANTHER....They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

  • Just a side question: Do girls often mistake male arrogance for confidence?

    I wonder what self confidence is, and how it's supposed to portray in a male towards girls in that way it gets noticed and perceived as such. I can be myself sometimes, but I won't get past the "nice guy" look. So what am I doing wrong, should I throw in a "Whoop whoop!" and ice-grill like 50? Or look smart and untouchable like 007?

    Other celebrity examples welcome.


    Otherwise nevermind, I don't even know why I'm asking this :

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts


    I seen this weird porn-video btw with a man age 35+ who is going down on some 16yo. pretty girl while a good-looking older lady is instructing them both to do so...
    I realize that is some experience no one can ever take away from that bastard ever. Jeezus i'm missing out. And these girls can make you feel so meaningless up inside. Is that girl power?

    16 yr old? Man WTF are you doing watching that? This can't be true cause if it is you're about to be raided by the po-po for child porn.
    Now THAT is no joke.

    How did I miss this?! How did any of us miss this?!?!

    I'm out now. This is just toooo creepy for me.

    Herm, honestly, I felt similarly creepy when you said you had locked yourself away for the weekend in a cheap motel with a swamp cooler in order to read the final Harry Potter book. That made me feel much more dirty that O.Y.'s comment. I mean, he's been sexually arrested since he was like 9, so such things seem appealing to him because he has not evolved from his immature mind-set. Unfortunately, being @ SS will only exacerbate the problem of having an immature mindset. So Herm, what was your exuse?

    HAHAHAHA!!!

    I'm a kid at heart. For real. I know it's weird to most folks, but I think it's important to treat fun stuff in a fun way. Not just kid stuff either. For example, when Prince Paul's Prince Among Thieves came out, I didn't listen to it in the car. I locked myself in the room, turned off the lights and treated it like it was a movie, the way it was intended (the first listen, at least).

    Don't get me wrong, though. Yes, I skip like a schoolgirl when I'm in Disneyland, but I'll also flirt with a complete stranger then make out with her on Pirates Of The Carribean and almost get kicked out for jumping seats midway thru the ride (younger me-related).

    And for the record, my house has the swamp cooler. The Holiday Inn was a 4-star spot with a/c, a pool and no internet access, the latter being the reason for my seclusion. There was NO way I was gonna risk having the end of the final book ruined for me by spoil sports! I even turned my phone off 'cause I have jerk friends who would've LOVED to do just that.

    Some people get their kicks from alcohol, weed, Turkish Psych, child porn, etc...I get mine from what most people consider "just for kids." (I also get mine from the girls, the ladies, I love 'em with a passion, but that's a whole 'nother thread PM!) A lot of folks think I'm weird, strange...shit, even gay! But frankly, I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING 747 F*CK. Umma do me.

  • probably!! but a lot of the time i think the doers themselves mistake arrogance for confidence and they end up coming off like tonkles!!

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    you overthinkin this shit....trust your animal instinct.

    go with your ......gut.

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts


    go with your ......gut.

    That's a mean thing to say to your future roommate. She's just trying to help dude out!

  • dayday 9,611 Posts
    A lot of folks think I'm weird, strange...shit, even gay! But frankly, I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING 747 F*CK. Umma do me.

    And that's why

    A. I lurb this dood.

    &

    B. puccini falls from the sky for him.

  • mylatencymylatency 10,475 Posts
    A lot of folks think I'm weird, strange...shit, even gay! But frankly, I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING 747 F*CK. Umma do me.

    And that's why

    A. I lurb this dood.

    &

    B. puccini falls from the sky for him.



    Seen, huge thumbs up on Herm's steelo. NO AYO OR PASUE.

    If u do YOU and don't give a fuk about being rejected, told off, laughed at, or seen as a CREEPY clueless psycho gripper digger oops I mean "ladies man", you will do fine. ;-) Last I checked THA LADIES don't like men of weak spirit and LOW S.O. as H. Rollins would say. Oh yeah, read some Henry Rollins poetry/writing, lulz. Especially his ode to iron aka LIFTING WEIGHTS.

    Try this: everywhere you go, make it a point to talk to at least one attractive woman, I don't care if you just say "Hi, the weather sure is nice today" just look her dead in the eye (try not to jizz in your pants while you are smelling her hair) and f*cking have small talk chit chat. Once you graduate from being able to kick random girls some smalltalk, graduate to making astute observations about them or some newsworthy digg.com BS. Trust me.

    Also cosign on getting a wingman and a new dress shirt, add a purple felt blazer and a furry zebra tophat = INSTANT THA GAME-having "Mystery" disciple, right? Don't forget the eyeliner, painted black fingernails and mystical new age jewelry. Pierce both ears and get some tribal tats. Wear lots of black clothing preferably with frilly black lace, lace up everything, and vampire yourself aka no sun and only go to the supermarket running your errands at 3AM after your shift at the graveyard factory. Wear huge lace up shitkickin boots, I always don this gear as my offical digging/women magnet gear, it works 60% OF THE TIME;

    EVERY TIME.


    Dude, freals, do like what tripledub says and DO SOME PUSHUPS NOW

    EAT A BANANA AND AN ORANGE, MONSTER THAT SCHITT
    GET YOUR GYM MEMBERSHIP, DO 1/2 HOUR CARDIO, 1/2 HOUR WEIGHTS
    MAKE A SMOOTHIE, DO SOME PUSHUPS
    EAT SOME SALAD
    DO MORE PUSHUPS, RUN A MILE
    U WILL THANK US LATER DUDE....
    REPEAT
    EAT SOME GRANOLA AND LOW FAT YOGHURT FOR BREAKFAST
    YOU WILL HAVE TO BUY SOME NEW NIKES AFTER ABOUT 6 MONTHS, BUT HEY, WE TOLD YOU THIS WOULD COST MONEY.


    DUDE, YOU CAN THANK US WHEN YOU MEET THAT EUROWOMAN SUPERMODEL BLONDE
    AND YOU SEND US A JPEG LIKE PAP
    WE WILL HONOR YOU WITH "O-YOGHURT DAY 2010"

    IF YOU ARE REAL, THAT IS




    DEALTH.


    PS: Yeah paTRICK I see that horizontal scrolling noose JPEG Young Phonics, what are you, noz-lite now? You done swagger-jacking Faux Rillz and now you moved onto noz? SAD. Yeah, I said it. Where's noz at these days anyways? Oh yeah, he's too busy listing his 12" collection on Discogs.com and selling like 23 records a month. Lulz. Too bad I can't poast more than 1 *NEW* poast per hour, so I'm stuck here editing my schitt ad infinitum. I AM DEALING WITH IT. It's fine, I got too many records to sell anyways cos I keep buying them. Sad huh?

    Yeah, I can type faster than all of you fools and somehow crash this board with my poasts, damn huh? Guess I deserve tha restriction.



    "DEALING IT TO DEALTHED"

    -Mylanta, out.




  • go with your ......gut.

    That's a mean thing to say to your future roommate. She's just trying to help dude out!

    yeah man, leave my gut outta it!! haha..oh

  • GaryGary 3,982 Posts
    Also, dude you should look into getting some anti-depressants. Go see a doctor, be honest, tell him or her how you feel and I'm sure they will get you some anti-depressants. I did it way back in the Army and I still take them to this day. You don't realize how much good they can do until you try.


    Also, if its a female doctor tell her that you think there might be something wrong with your penis. you think you felt a lump or something. ask her if she feels it. then be likek "no, not there, its up a littl bit.... no- wait-too high, move your hand down some... actually you will probably need to strech it a bit to feel it..."

    etc.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    lol

  • GaryGary 3,982 Posts
    hey, we've all had dry spells, alright????


  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    A lot of folks think I'm weird, strange...shit, even gay! But frankly, I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING 747 F*CK. Umma do me.

    And that's why

    A. I lurb this dood.

    &

    B. puccini falls from the sky for him.

    Thank you sir! The feeling is mutual...and oh so tender.

    b/w

    When's your tour start? I might be passing thru Palm Springs shortly.

  • controller z


    ha ha. I guess it does kind of look like that with the underlined part. Now you've got me wondering how many people think my name is Controller Z.

  • ^^^^^^

    I saw Cuzner today btw.

  • Did you get any yet? Did you at least resolve to stop whining?

  • KineticKinetic 3,739 Posts
    I have no interest in reading this thread, except to say that if you reach the age of 31 and have never had sex, you are either
    a) a conservative Christian or Muslim
    b) a loser
    c) both.

    Sorry... but that's honestly what i think



    b/w


  • i am dizzy from 10 minutes of reading this thread and if i may offer some female perspective......


















    A MINUTE TO LEARN A LIFETIME TO MASTER..... [color:pink] [/color]

  • Tripledouble knows the deal, listen to him! Build your own life and confidence so you can feel good about yourself. Anything but real self-confidence is see-through to most women. I know to me the most unattractive thing of all is arrogance and a guy trying to "act cool."
    I'd much rather hang out with a dorky guy who is real than a faker of any kind. Also, looks are definitely not the most important thing, at least to me. The last guy I dated was a total dork, dressed terribly, and was almost completely bald. Most women would not consider him good looking. I liked him because he was genuinely real and nice and open and kind and smart....and most of all because he wasn't afraid of or intimidated by me, and wasn't afraid of being himself. Men try to act so many ways to impress women it's actually such a rare thing and such a relief when you encounter a man with the confidence to be himself--with all the eccentricities and dorkyness and all. Sometimes simple stuff impresses us more than anything. I like courageous men I guess, and to me there's nothing more strong and sexy than a man who is confident enough to be himself and be genuinely nice and honest and open and not play games....it's rarer than rare....

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Tripledouble knows the deal, listen to him! Build your own life and confidence so you can feel good about yourself. Anything but real self-confidence is see-through to most women. I know to me the most unattractive thing of all is arrogance and a guy trying to "act cool."
    I'd much rather hang out with a dorky guy who is real than a faker of any kind. Also, looks are definitely not the most important thing, at least to me. The last guy I dated was a total dork, dressed terribly, and was almost completely bald. Most women would not consider him good looking. I liked him because he was genuinely real and nice and open and kind and smart....and most of all because he wasn't afraid of or intimidated by me, and wasn't afraid of being himself. Men try to act so many ways to impress women it's actually such a rare thing and such a relief when you encounter a man with the confidence to be himself--with all the eccentricities and dorkyness and all. Sometimes simple stuff impresses us more than anything. I like courageous men I guess, and to me there's nothing more strong and sexy than a man who is confident enough to be himself and be genuinely nice and honest and open and not play games....it's rarer than rare....

    Did he have money?

  • phongonephongone 1,652 Posts









    A MINUTE TO LEARN A LIFETIME TO MASTER..... [color:pink] [/color]




  • Tripledouble knows the deal, listen to him! Build your own life and confidence so you can feel good about yourself. Anything but real self-confidence is see-through to most women. I know to me the most unattractive thing of all is arrogance and a guy trying to "act cool."
    I'd much rather hang out with a dorky guy who is real than a faker of any kind. Also, looks are definitely not the most important thing, at least to me. The last guy I dated was a total dork, dressed terribly, and was almost completely bald. Most women would not consider him good looking. I liked him because he was genuinely real and nice and open and kind and smart....and most of all because he wasn't afraid of or intimidated by me, and wasn't afraid of being himself. Men try to act so many ways to impress women it's actually such a rare thing and such a relief when you encounter a man with the confidence to be himself--with all the eccentricities and dorkyness and all. Sometimes simple stuff impresses us more than anything. I like courageous men I guess, and to me there's nothing more strong and sexy than a man who is confident enough to be himself and be genuinely nice and honest and open and not play games....it's rarer than rare....


    and an extra for good measure!!

  • sticky_dojahsticky_dojah New York City. 2,136 Posts



    I know it is meant as a joke, but have u ever lost someone close who commited suicide this way? I guess not.
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