You know what? F*ck all this pro and stripper talk. Go join a church group, have the old ladies hook you up with some dates. Fall in love with a nice girl, get married in a few years, do it the right way. I mean, you've waited this long.
I wont say that's the right way, but Church is a way to meet folks.
One night I'm with this girl who I kind of like, so I figure I'll tell her I got one in the bag... and she says, that's ok, I've got scars on my boobs from surgery.
Sickness since the age of 9, living alone, no family to got to for over 8 years, ugly non-smiling face, overweight, lost 22 years of my life and it's opportunities, school dropout, all true.
What a joke....
the poster of this thread has us all fooled I think. Show us a pic or you're soft!
You know what? F*ck all this pro and stripper talk. Go join a church group, have the old ladies hook you up with some dates. Fall in love with a nice girl, get married in a few years, do it the right way. I mean, you've waited this long.
I wont say that's the right way, but Church is a way to meet folks.
In the end - the game is a LAW OF NUMBERS.
Book Stores and the Library
Dude needs to get a job in a hospital. They are open 24-7, and between the employees (mostly women 18-50)and the single moms, it's a goldmine to even the lowliest janitor or security guard or food server. I wish I had known about it when I was single. I knew a guy at the hospital I worke ER at, he was scarred BAD from a fire he was in, I mean this guy would freak out most adults, but I know he got tail just by being around ladies all the damn time! Didn't hurt that dude could gab with anyone about anything, and was a nice guy, but that's my point. You can't let that shit get in your way, because then it's the first thing people see coming, the doom patrol.
Hospitals, seriously. Get a job pushing broom at your nearest local hospital, or just volunteer. And get friendly. Not creepy, friendly.
Man, reading this thread really bummed me out. Hope this is a joke and not true. But if it is indeed true, I hope you meet a nice lady soon. From the way you describe (fetishize) women, I think you're problem is "putting the pussy on a pedestal," in the immortal words of the 40 Year Old Virgin.
Maybe the strutters here can do a kind deed and contribute to a special PayPal account so the dude can get some 'tang. Whose in?
Thanks for the well meant advice, I'm also writing it down. But can you believe I'm even feeling too unconfident/ugly to go to a pro? I'm disgusted of myself. 22 years of pain made me how I look today.
If you think that way, you'll always come off that way. If you look down on yourself, you'll find no one will ever want to talk or associate with you. Why should they, if all you show is grief and a need to be pissy all day?
When you do finally find someone, you are probably going to say "that wasn't difficult at all". Also keep in mind though that that is just the sexual part, you can at least leave her behind and live your life again. Meeting up with someone for a long or short term relationship requires effort on your part, and if you don't make the effort, no one will do the same for you.
Shit man, just go pay for it, easily fixed way of poppin' your johnson. The other thing you should probably do after that is seek some counselling to address your self image issues. Talking youself down in a negative manner isn't gonna get you very far in the long run & even if you do get that cherry popped, it's not gonna fix everything because it sounds like there are some deeper unresolved issues that you need to deal with to progress positively with your life. Go see a professional whore, then a professional counsellor. Good luck.
Enough with the stripper/hooker/drinking suggestions. The guy said that he doesn't have much $$$ to spend.
My suggestion would be to first make yourself feel better by accomplishing something real. Do you want to get a better job? Go back and get your high school certificate? Start going for walks to get into shape?
If you don't get out much, then your conversation skills might not be too sharp. Start by talking to some male friends, playing cards or just having a beer. Then start by talking to women you are NOT interested in (older women, ugly women, etc), so you can see what women talk about without being intimidated. Then move onto women you are actually attracted to. You can start doing community service at church, cleaning up a park, etc. to meet people.
Start setting little goals and reaching them, such as "I am going to eat one healthy food everyday this week" or "I am going to organize my bedroom by the end of today," and then move onto bigger things, like "I will lose 8 pounds this month." Prove to yourself that you can do things. Then you will be able to prove it to a woman.
I don't have a job. Bu I do production-line work at 3:30 am in the morning on weekdays (4 days) to keep my welfare income. I'm a school dropout so I don't have any credentials to show for. doomed i always say though that's not the right spirit I guess.
People worse off than you have done greater. Not to dismiss your situation, but you gotta get your mind right before you do anything else. Take all the things you feel, the setbacks, whatever - and turn it into power of self. Use all that shit to show yourself and the world that you can be greater than what people said you could be.
Your inside will reflect on the outside and folks will want to be around you. Just chill and cultivate your spirit and who you are.
Get a escort off of Craigslist to get the first time out of the way(I know you said you were low on cash..but I am sure you can save some scratch up for this special occasion). After you get the first time out of the way, I think it will change your perception on finding a female to kick it with(without having to pay her). I would probably be scared shitless when it came to sex if I was your age and still a virgin. I normally would never recommend paying a girl for sex..but i'd make an exception in this case. I think it would boost your morale and do you good.
yo day, the best part of that video is the end when big girl starts playing the saxophone.LOL
yoghurt...theres some good advice in this thread. almond pretty much spoke my mind. you should focus on strengthening yourself...physically and spiritually. counseling might help and religion maybe useful, but there may be an even easier way.
at your crib, do 200 pushups and 200 situps a day (maybe chinups/pullups too...about 75 a day). try to do as much as you can in one sitting, for 3 sets. but over the course of the day...get your 200 pushups in etc. even if youre doing 7 at a time. soon enough (a month or two?) you will be buzzing off endorphines and adrenalin, getting stronger, and taking control of shit. maybe then consider joining a gym and getting a trainer (costs money though). that could add a social/public element to things.
simultaneously, get out in the community and start helping out. whether its at a soup kitchen, an orphanage, a refugee camp, helping at a school for the blind, afterschool tutoring,or teaching english as a second language(you obviously got a decent anglo flow). go volunteer!!! what the F*ck else are you doing with your time besides stewing away in your uselesness?? go be useful...PEOPLE NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW. remind yourself that there are many people worse off than you and that you can help.priests and nuns get no ass and devout their lives to higher pursuits. they survive. so will you. except you dont have to take a vow of abstinence.get your mind off getting booty and i'll bet you it comes to you sooner than later.
other thoughts: people like jokes...find some on the internet and go share them with people. have some clean ones and then some mildly dirty ones you can build up to. maybe a couple nice raw ones in the case that people are feeling your first offerings.
try not to be intimidates by girls. even gorgeous ones. they poop too.
learn how to cook some things.if you do meet a girl, you may want to invite her over for a simple lunch that you cook. or to sit in the park and eat some food you made. it can be a lot more personal, charming and cheaper than going out to eat.
theres women out there as lonely as you are.
read up about sex, technique and exercises you can do. you dont want your first time to be too horrible (generally, first few times are a little disjointed).
get a dog. a cute golden retriever puppy or some shit. it will give you someone to practice being affectionate wiht (NOT THAT KIND OF AFFECTION!) and when you play with him in the park, girls will come talk to you.
finally, i have a strong feeling this is a strutter alias. yuichi or paycheck...cant quite put my finger on who.
Do you have craigslist over there? There's someone looking for what you've got no matter who you are.
b/w
This movie is all about how a fat guy gets laid all the time. Essential moves, but it does involve some confidence, which will only come from you accomplishing some things you want to do.
You should befriend an older attractive woman, a divorcee perhaps who keeps herself busy like you should be too (as tripledouble mentioned thats important) No joke. There are women in this category who are very free sexually and we be into having a mini relationship with you where they teach you about pleasing a woman, but they don't require that you develop a full-on relationship. Great way to lose your virginity and then be free to explore beyond that afterwards.
You know what? F*ck all this pro and stripper talk. Go join a church group, have the old ladies hook you up with some dates. Fall in love with a nice girl, get married in a few years, do it the right way. I mean, you've waited this long.
I wont say that's the right way, but Church is a way to meet folks.
In the end - the game is a LAW OF NUMBERS.
Book Stores and the Library
Hospitals, seriously. Get a job pushing broom at your nearest local hospital, or just volunteer. And get friendly. Not creepy, friendly.
Comments
Grocery store, too.
U dont like your elbows rubbed?
LLLLLLLLLLLOVE IT!!haha!! Na, this is the part i agreed with, i didn't like the lying, cheating, stealing ish!!
I own a soy-milk jacuzzi w/ extra jet pressure.
My doorman is Gary Coleman.
My turntable is handmade by Grandmaster Flash.
My shower-curtin is the shroud of turin.
My Condoms have serial numbers.
My refrigerator has a midjet inside.
The wood of my floor comes from the set of Teen Wolf.
I was in I Am Legend.
I get special made M&M in Neon Colors.
I own a car - the last car on the 4 train.
My momma got me these cashmere socks from Obama's house.
My entire wine collection is from King Tut's Tomb.
Sade signed all my vinyl.....when she was at my house.
I sung background on Earth Wind & Fire's Gratitude.
I write for Curb Your Enthusiasm.
I copped these sneakers from Dwayne Wade.
I just got divorced from Sheryl Crow.
I'm just joking.
Thanks girls/guys and for all the advice you given me. I guess i got enough attention. If I get too much attention I always shy away. anyway thanks !!
Don't shy away from this thread.
Soy milk is good for your skin?
[edit] i get it.
C.Y.E........that's so cool!!
See, now was the truth that hard?! haha.
the poster of this thread has us all fooled I think. Show us a pic or you're soft!
Sickness since the age of 9, living alone, no family to got to for over 8 years, ugly non-smiling face, overweight, lost 22 years of my life and it's opportunities, school dropout,
all true.
1.
Dude needs to get a job in a hospital. They are open 24-7, and between the employees (mostly women 18-50)and the single moms, it's a goldmine to even the lowliest janitor or security guard or food server. I wish I had known about it when I was single. I knew a guy at the hospital I worke ER at, he was scarred BAD from a fire he was in, I mean this guy would freak out most adults, but I know he got tail just by being around ladies all the damn time! Didn't hurt that dude could gab with anyone about anything, and was a nice guy, but that's my point. You can't let that shit get in your way, because then it's the first thing people see coming, the doom patrol.
Hospitals, seriously. Get a job pushing broom at your nearest local hospital, or just volunteer. And get friendly. Not creepy, friendly.
THIS IS THE REAL. GET OUT THERE AND GET REJECTED OVER AND OVER. IT'S THE ONLY WAY, FOOL.
for serious.
Maybe the strutters here can do a kind deed and contribute to a special PayPal account so the dude can get some 'tang. Whose in?
If you think that way, you'll always come off that way. If you look down on yourself, you'll find no one will ever want to talk or associate with you. Why should they, if all you show is grief and a need to be pissy all day?
When you do finally find someone, you are probably going to say "that wasn't difficult at all". Also keep in mind though that that is just the sexual part, you can at least leave her behind and live your life again. Meeting up with someone for a long or short term relationship requires effort on your part, and if you don't make the effort, no one will do the same for you.
My suggestion would be to first make yourself feel better by accomplishing something real. Do you want to get a better job? Go back and get your high school certificate? Start going for walks to get into shape?
If you don't get out much, then your conversation skills might not be too sharp. Start by talking to some male friends, playing cards or just having a beer. Then start by talking to women you are NOT interested in (older women, ugly women, etc), so you can see what women talk about without being intimidated. Then move onto women you are actually attracted to. You can start doing community service at church, cleaning up a park, etc. to meet people.
Start setting little goals and reaching them, such as "I am going to eat one healthy food everyday this week" or "I am going to organize my bedroom by the end of today," and then move onto bigger things, like "I will lose 8 pounds this month." Prove to yourself that you can do things. Then you will be able to prove it to a woman.
People worse off than you have done greater. Not to dismiss your situation, but you gotta get your mind right before you do anything else. Take all the things you feel, the setbacks, whatever - and turn it into power of self. Use all that shit to show yourself and the world that you can be greater than what people said you could be.
Your inside will reflect on the outside and folks will want to be around you. Just chill and cultivate your spirit and who you are.
Life is what YOU make it.
btw - if that's the level of game you're facing, you've got nothing to worry about.
Australian Tantric goddess site
This book will also help get your mojo working
1. Print out this thread
2. Show to prospective mate
3. ???
4. Fornicate wildly
Good luck!
yoghurt...theres some good advice in this thread. almond pretty much spoke my mind. you should focus on strengthening yourself...physically and spiritually. counseling might help and religion maybe useful, but there may be an even easier way.
at your crib, do 200 pushups and 200 situps a day (maybe chinups/pullups too...about 75 a day). try to do as much as you can in one sitting, for 3 sets. but over the course of the day...get your 200 pushups in etc. even if youre doing 7 at a time. soon enough (a month or two?) you will be buzzing off endorphines and adrenalin, getting stronger, and taking control of shit. maybe then consider joining a gym and getting a trainer (costs money though). that could add a social/public element to things.
simultaneously, get out in the community and start helping out. whether its at a soup kitchen, an orphanage, a refugee camp, helping at a school for the blind, afterschool tutoring,or teaching english as a second language(you obviously got a decent anglo flow). go volunteer!!! what the F*ck else are you doing with your time besides stewing away in your uselesness?? go be useful...PEOPLE NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW. remind yourself that there are many people worse off than you and that you can help.priests and nuns get no ass and devout their lives to higher pursuits. they survive. so will you. except you dont have to take a vow of abstinence.get your mind off getting booty and i'll bet you it comes to you sooner than later.
other thoughts:
people like jokes...find some on the internet and go share them with people. have some clean ones and then some mildly dirty ones you can build up to. maybe a couple nice raw ones in the case that people are feeling your first offerings.
try not to be intimidates by girls. even gorgeous ones. they poop too.
learn how to cook some things.if you do meet a girl, you may want to invite her over for a simple lunch that you cook. or to sit in the park and eat some food you made. it can be a lot more personal, charming and cheaper than going out to eat.
theres women out there as lonely as you are.
read up about sex, technique and exercises you can do. you dont want your first time to be too horrible (generally, first few times are a little disjointed).
get a dog. a cute golden retriever puppy or some shit. it will give you someone to practice being affectionate wiht (NOT THAT KIND OF AFFECTION!) and when you play with him in the park, girls will come talk to you.
finally, i have a strong feeling this is a strutter alias. yuichi or paycheck...cant quite put my finger on who.
b/w
This movie is all about how a fat guy gets laid all the time. Essential moves, but it does involve some confidence, which will only come from you accomplishing some things you want to do.
No joke.
There are women in this category who are very free sexually and we be into having a mini relationship with you where they teach you about pleasing a woman, but they don't require that you develop a full-on relationship. Great way to lose your virginity and then be free to explore beyond that afterwards.
I'll keep that in mind. Hospitals..