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how to become friends with ex

wonton55wonton55 11 Posts
edited March 2008 in Strut Central
any advice? i'm seeing someone now, but would like to be friends again. have people been successful?
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  Comments

  • young_creamyoung_cream 540 Posts
  • GropeGrope 2,970 Posts
  • covecove 1,567 Posts
    just pull-out
  • waxjunkywaxjunky 1,849 Posts
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    I've been friends with most of my exes and some of my girlfriends became friends with my exes. I've also had a case where my ex wanted nothing to do with me and continues to treat me like I'm dead to her. It really depends on the person and also, what your desire is here. Why do you want to remain friends, knowing the potential awkwardness and tensions that might be present?
  • ElectrodeElectrode Los Angeles 3,135 Posts
    It's never good to go backwards.
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    I've been friends with most of my exes

    OVERRATED.
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    I've been friends with most of my exes

    OVERRATED.

    Eh, I wouldn't say that. But in the grand scheme, it's hardly essential.
  • wonton55wonton55 11 Posts
    Why do you want to remain friends, knowing the potential awkwardness and tensions that might be present?

    the usual i suppose---Lost a great friend
  • Danno3000Danno3000 2,851 Posts
    True collectros don't bother with non-vinyl relationships. Don't waste your time with people and you won't have this problem. Why do so many collectro greats avoid bathing? When you're only friends are other collectros and your records, there's no need to bathe.

  • YNOTYNOT in a studio apt mixing tuna with the ramen 417 Posts
    No. Unless you think you might wanna smash again. otherwise don't do it.
  • FYBSFYBS 271 Posts
    Not a good idea, typically.

    At least in my experience, it's never as good as it once was. Once there's bad blood, it never really goes away.
  • phongonephongone 1,652 Posts
    No. Unless you think you might wanna smash again. otherwise don't do it.

    TRUTH. This is the only reason for maintaining a friendship with an ex.
  • SupacatSupacat 46 Posts
    just don't do it. the only reason for trying is when you have kids.
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    Why do you want to remain friends, knowing the potential awkwardness and tensions that might be present?

    the usual i suppose---Lost a great friend

    I hear you. Personally, I think it's worth trying if you think it's possible but don't force the issue. If she's not feeling you b/c of the break-up + you being with a new person, then just let it go. If you guys were meant to be friends, a little time may be all that's needed.
  • Big_ChanBig_Chan 5,088 Posts
    Friends with your ex is some bullshit you see on tv shows and in the movies. This is REALLY not a good idea in the real world. Plaese to get serious.
  • HairyBelafonteHairyBelafonte 1,202 Posts
    No. Unless you think you might wanna smash again. otherwise don't do it.

    TRUTH. This is the only reason for maintaining a friendship with an ex.


    All you guys saying you shouldn't be friends with exes or only if you wanna "smash" again are really exposing themselves real little dudes.

    I have great relationships with the majority of all my exes, only the ones that I didn't feel a real connection to begin with fall to the side. Almost every time one of my ex-girlfriends comes to town, we still go out to lunch/dinner, and I'm still on good terms w/ her parents, sometimes they even join us for meals.

    I personally believe that your relationship with exes says alot about who you are and your personality.As O-dub said, if you were friends to be and its meant to happen, give it time and it will happen. If not, just move on. There is no worse look than trying to hang on to something thats over or rubbing her nose in your new found friend. My two cents.


    peace
  • bobbydeebobbydee 849 Posts

    I personally believe that your relationship with exes says alot about who you are and your personality.



    Exactly. My current ex and I (of 6 months) are trying to make it work as friends. It's hard because we both still have feelings for each other, but know we don't work as a couple. We always meet up with other people there, and for now we don't hug or anything, trying to keep it as easy to be neutral as possible.
  • twoplytwoply Only Built 4 Manzanita Links 2,917 Posts

    All you guys saying you shouldn't be friends with exes or only if you wanna "smash" again are really exposing themselves real little dudes.

    I have great relationships with the majority of all my exes, only the ones that I didn't feel a real connection to begin with fall to the side. Almost every time one of my ex-girlfriends comes to town, we still go out to lunch/dinner, and I'm still on good terms w/ her parents, sometimes they even join us for meals.


    Yeah, I can understand not wanting to be friends if the relationship ended badly, but I've been on friendly terms with all but one of my exes. I just got a call a couple of months ago from an ex on the East Coast and we had a nice, long chat. I'm hoping she and her husband can come out and visit so I can see her newest kid. This whole "you can't be friends with an ex" sounds like some very personal grudges are being held.
  • shooteralishooterali 1,591 Posts
    man this thread is dead wood, CHop it down, I hate my ex..she still owes me alot of money...give it up.
  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    11th post and youre already asking for relationship advice??

    oh boy.
  • holmesholmes 3,532 Posts
    Hate my most recent one too, but she burnt me bad, if it ends amicably it may be possible to be friends with your ex. Very much dependent on the situation & how the relationship went.
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    any advice?

    Step 1: don't solicit advice on SoulStrut
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    Yeah, I can understand not wanting to be friends if the relationship ended badly, but I've been on friendly terms[/b] with all but one of my exes.

    But that's the key. As an overly blunt friend of mine once said while breaking up with his girlfriend, "I sitll wanna be friendly. Not friends, but friendly."

    Harsh, but very true.
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    any advice?

    Step 1: don't solicit advice on SoulStrut

    Truuf.
  • twoplytwoply Only Built 4 Manzanita Links 2,917 Posts
    Yeah, I can understand not wanting to be friends if the relationship ended badly, but I've been on friendly terms[/b] with all but one of my exes.

    But that's the key. As an overly blunt friend of mine once said while breaking up with his girlfriend, "I sitll wanna be friendly. Not friends, but friendly."


    Good point, I guess that is kind of how I feel.
  • rain103rain103 476 Posts
    Friends with your ex is some bullshit you see on tv shows and in the movies. This is REALLY not a good idea in the real world. Plaese to get serious.

    any advice?

    Step 1: don't solicit advice on SoulStrut


    haha i have to agree. you're playing with fire.
  • MsBizMsBiz 15 Posts
    so if my exes says that they my friends.. i should just consider they just want in my panties.. ?? im not 20 no more ...come on..
  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    THESE DUSTY, RUSTY, RETIRED EX-BOYFRIENDS GET THAT OLD FEELING BACK WHEN THEY SEE MsBIZ AND SEE HOW SHE DONT STOP
  • mickalphabetmickalphabet deep inna majestic segue 374 Posts
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