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  • p_gunnp_gunn 2,284 Posts


    Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

    You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.

    Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I Frickin' love candles!

    Come on into the living room.

    Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.



  • wooshiewooshie 490 Posts

    Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.

    This sounds like some lyrics from a Streets song.

  • covecove 1,566 Posts
    tomorrow, 6 p.m., corner Parc & Laurier - m4w
    Reply to: [email]pers-368640803@craigslist.org[/email]
    Date: 2007-07-07, 2:36PM EDT


    Tomorrow evening I'm going to stand on the corner of Parc and Laurier (in front of the Starbucks, why don't I) and eye-fuck every woman who walks past me. I will not discriminate based upon age, race, religion (well... not that I can tell unless you're Hasidic) or fashion sense, none of you will be spared from my leering frenzy.

    If you should happen to trade a brief glance with me (or perhaps even perceptibly avoid my gaze and then scurry away as I yell "bitch" or "whore" while I spit at you) and then read this post, please drop me a line. In fact, the beauty of this post is that the sequence of events leading to our blossoming romance dones't even have to occur in that order! You can read this post and THEN haul your shit down to my location in time for us to have a fleeting connection that we'll both think about for long enough to scour the vastness of internet for one another!

    Perhaps some of you will only look in my direction because I'm defying behavioural norms by standing on a street corner and gawking at people for the entirety of the afternoon, perhaps because my eyes offer you some twisted sort of validation, shit, perhaps it's because I'm wearing a clown suit. All of that is just coloured bubbles. To a male brain as base and rooted in primal instinct as mine, all that matters is that your eyes will meet mine and you look fuckable. No matter for my personal preferences in the physique of a significant other, no afterthought about the fact that a moment after you look at me you'll grimace subtly and go back to whatever it is you will be doing. I will be unshakably convinced we had a connection, baby. So convinced I'm pre-empting that very connection by writing these words.

    And if that kind of mindfuck doesn't tickle you pink enough that you'll want to meet me, I don't know what will.

  • Sexy Zombie girl, to the Metallica loving boy she can't have. - w4m - 23 (haight ashbury)

    Reply to: [email]pers-546165297@craigslist.org[/email]
    Date: 2008-01-20, 11:34PM PST


    You were not douchey. You made me laugh. I was with friends, so were you. I was visiting and you lived there.

    I wanted to make out with you in the scary park. Well. I wanted to eat your brains, slowly, sensually while we listened to the Metallica (old Metallica) on your ipod.

    You'll never find me. Not until we are all zombies. Until then, I'll just dream of ripping your guts out while you tell me you love me. How as the undead, we can be together forever.

    You know this is for you. Enjoy it.

  • I didn't Soulmarcossa now reps the bay

    that asian and american women at indian disco - m4w - 32 (san jose south)

    Reply to: [email]pers-545062554@craigslist.org[/email]
    Date: 2008-01-19, 8:20PM PST


    Hi , U danced on my direction on an Indian bollywood dance club last night , u were Asian who loved to danced with me and there was spark of angel light in Ur eyes, Ur friend was blond and I am impressed with both of U lets meet again and hang around some times.


  • shooteralishooterali 1,591 Posts
    what's a JO?

    JUICY ORAL

  • To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST


    I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.

    This is where things got crazy.

    I don't know if you slipped, or thought I was taking you home to kill you, or if your're just plain crazy and had a change of heart, but all of a sudden you let go of me MID-TURN and went flying into the bushes at about 10-15mph near the park by my house. I was so freaked out!!! when I looked back to see you fumbling in the bushes I could only PRAY TO GOD that you didn't hit the asphalt or something worse.

    I really thought you must have been hurt at least a bit, but as I turned around to come check on you, you took off into the unlit park running full speed with my helmet and jacket still on! I parked my bike and looked for you for over 2 hours calling your name until I was so cold I had to go home or risk freezing to death.

    WTF

    Im sorry for what happened and I really hope your're ok, really I do, but seriously WTF. Running into a forested park in the middle of the night like that....I really can't begin to guess what you were thinking, and you weren't that drunk, but i suppose my "crazy-bitch o' meter" wasn't working at the bar that night, and from the speed you took off I can only surmise that your're not that hurt. I would like my expensive bike gear back though, I hope it kept you warm during your psychotic episode, but it IS mine and I kinda need it to get around in the winter. If you could return it to the bar for me, check in with your shrink, and promise to never come near me again that would be great, cause you scared the #*$% outta me and are costing me alot of money.

    Sincerely,
    Very cold/poor motorcycle rider who will never let women near his bike again.


    Location: Seattle
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

    PostingID: 471479867

  • To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST


    I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.

    This is where things got crazy.

    I don't know if you slipped, or thought I was taking you home to kill you, or if your're just plain crazy and had a change of heart, but all of a sudden you let go of me MID-TURN and went flying into the bushes at about 10-15mph near the park by my house. I was so freaked out!!! when I looked back to see you fumbling in the bushes I could only PRAY TO GOD that you didn't hit the asphalt or something worse.

    I really thought you must have been hurt at least a bit, but as I turned around to come check on you, you took off into the unlit park running full speed with my helmet and jacket still on! I parked my bike and looked for you for over 2 hours calling your name until I was so cold I had to go home or risk freezing to death.

    WTF

    Im sorry for what happened and I really hope your're ok, really I do, but seriously WTF. Running into a forested park in the middle of the night like that....I really can't begin to guess what you were thinking, and you weren't that drunk, but i suppose my "crazy-bitch o' meter" wasn't working at the bar that night, and from the speed you took off I can only surmise that your're not that hurt. I would like my expensive bike gear back though, I hope it kept you warm during your psychotic episode, but it IS mine and I kinda need it to get around in the winter. If you could return it to the bar for me, check in with your shrink, and promise to never come near me again that would be great, cause you scared the #*$% outta me and are costing me alot of money.

    Sincerely,
    Very cold/poor motorcycle rider who will never let women near his bike again.


    Location: Seattle
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

    PostingID: 471479867

    SCORE!

  • ElectrodeElectrode Los Angeles 2,887 Posts
    http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/mis/542483576.html

    http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/rnr/546851527.html

    "It's now been 23 days that I've been on my fast
    Reply to: [email]pers-546851527@craigslist.org[/email]
    Date: 2008-01-21, 1:50PM PST


    2 mo 7 days to go maby more"

  • http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/mis/547095169.html

    Jack-in-the-box worker, Oakland Colliseum - m4w - 40

    Reply to: [email]pers-547095169@craigslist.org[/email]
    Date: 2008-01-21, 5:28PM PST


    You served me at the drive through window on Monday afternoon. I had my daughter in the car. We smiled at each other. I loved your look!


    Location: Oakland Jack in box
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

    PostingID: 547095169
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