Vitiman and Archaic
anthonypearson
2,442 Posts
Archaic: you scurr me dude!An essay on Eddie Van Halen by Vitiman:" Eddie Van Halen shreds because his hammer-on tecnique is superior in contrast to Randy Rhodes and the guy from Stryper. He employes the HV7-X3 model pickup on his Kramer and it provides a superior sustain and feedback ratio in accordance with Guitar Player magazines " apex of axe " qualification scale. His tremelo bar is cast in solid bronze so his reverberation ratio is paramount to any other comparable guitarist. His solo on the second track on Diver Down is a fine example of " Hammer-on Shred " otherwise known as the " Masters of Metal Factor "... Sustain ratio combined with fretboard action ration equals a overdrive density factor of overall shred. Combined with these factors he can play more notes in a solo than any of his contemporaries and proved this a the Guitar Center showcase last fall. All of these factors combined make him the best axe player out there "My response:Eddie Val Halen sucks because shred is dead dude, David Lee Roth is a Jew Vaudevilian boner, I don't like Alex Van Halen's bushy eyebrows and Michael Anthony's e-string thumpage is unimpressive.Have an exciting day on soulstrut and my best to all of you.Anthony
Comments
Too Funny and so true! I saw them on the jump tour when I was in the 5th grade and I wish I could have back the ten minutes of my life that were wasted listing to Michael Anthony's bass solo.
i don't understand what you mean ( what else is new ). nothing personal dude.
oh yeah, Bush..nazi...evil empire ,all that shit..back to your metaphors...
I hope this isn't a poor attempt at outing Diamond Dave as a Zionist Puppet.
In all seriousness, DLR is one of rock's best vocalists ever.
For real. DLR was the soul & fun of Van Halen.
When Hagar came in, it was like the Fonz left the building and the school bully was now calling the shots.
Damn that Jew Vaudevillian boner made my day.
I wish I still had the 3/4 sleeve concert shirt that had that dude holding a hammer behind his back and some kind of robotic eagle on the front. I was kicking that shit the next day at school hard.
Terry_Clubbup has repeatedly recommended the DLR autobiography to me, talking about "He's so dynamic!"...
Diamond Dave played Philly several years ago. Dude must be in his 80s and he still had throngs of ladies clawing their way to see dude backstage.
CO-SIGN. All ya'll folls need to read Diamond Dave's autobiography. This book is COMEDY.........
Cut his teeth in the borscht belt
"WELCOME TO (cough hack) DAVE TV! I'VE GOT (wheeze) KARAAAZMA!"
Its a fun read!
See this is where my notions of goodness and things being right with the world go down the toilet.... people who talk raer and then admit to liking utter garbage like it's some suburban white dude badge of honor. Nearly as bad as the folks on here who floss raer and then play utter garbage at their DJ nights. No integrity.
Van Halen = not here, come on for real.
...Watch this thread go 9 pages. Fucking hipsters.
I love that book. He dictated the whole thing into tape recorders and then had it typed up; the initial draft was 1200 pages. It was eventually edited down to 350.
It's exactly what you'd expect from Diamond Dave: a rambling, desultory, rollicking narrative that goes from one thought to the next without...well, without much thought. And it's awesome.
Diamond Dave is also responsible for one of my favorite quotes:
"I'm an optimist. When I go fishing, I take a Nikon and a frying pan."
agreed, like it said above, "Pure Comedy"...so fuckin funny...and you can read it in an afternoon...funny fuckin dude
They were one of the best bands of the past thirty years, period
Deal with it dude
PRIVATE MIND GARDEN INTERVENTION, STAT!
why don't we just step outside now? i'll set you right with my Jack Daniels bottle shaped numbchucks [sic].
fucking hipsters? what the fuck, we arent talking about finding classic two sizes two small van halen t-shirts, we are talking about music...I bought my first Van Halen LP at age 11 at Target in 1982. I dont think I was/am a hipster. I'll talk about raers as much as common, meat and potatoes rock records..why do I talk about both? becuase they are both good music...I could listen "Fair Warning" back to back with "melody nelson" and still feel good about myself...Van Halen isnt utter garbage, it is rock music, powerful goddamn, makes ya feel good rock music..oh yeah it even has breaks... you fuckin snob.
2. Best harmonic vocals
3. Best frontman ever with DLR
4. Guitar riffs blowing the the powder up out your wig
5. Guitar and Bass panned hard l/r on first few records
6. Fair Warning
7. Greatest band in rock 78-84
In light of DigDug's argument in favor of Van Halen, I'd like to defend his integrity with the following points for Big Spliff's benefit:
a) Like myself, he is an authentic suburban white dude, badge of honor and all.
b) Despite his liking of Van Halen, he owns an original copy of the Sweet Charles album.
c) Even more unbelievably, he has played an original Communicators Black Experience Band 45 at the club.
He also wears a Killah Kuts t-shirt on the regular, though in our post-TurntableLab, post-Fader age, it's debatable as to whether that classifies him as "a real down dude" or alternatively "a fucking hipster." Though I will say I've never seen him wear a mesh cap, which strongly argues for the former.
Van Halen = GOOD[/b]
Van Hagar = BAD[/b]