it's not like I'm hanging around waiting for her, dudes...I just let her know how I felt and basically deaded myself to her in that way. It's been 3 months in the making but whatever, it had to happen sooner or later. At least I can be her friend, whatever. WHATEVER.
If this schitt does come up again, I will be saying the big goodbye to her but something tells me otherwise. I think I'mma meet me a nice girl this time, momma.
Hey Moark, were you dropped on your head as a child?
You guys rock.
Thanks a lot, fanies.
I wish I had the time all day long to sit on this online forum and spew my guts, it would be great. Here's the long and short of it:
I'm more than man enough for this woman (+5 years my age) but she finally reiterated tonight that she "doesn't like me like that" and that I'm basically an incongruent dunce for being a butthead because I'm her "Best Friend" and I shouldn't be severing a strong friendship with her (her dad passed when she was 3 so I think she has issues on the men leaving her front).
This is obviously "a problem" to her since I'm totally digging on her for 3 months and she has become my best friend during that time. Thus, she is making me feel like a dunce for making it more than it should/is and that I'm in the wrong, right? Yes, yarrgh.
This was all brought to a head this past weekend when she finally broke up with her terd boyfriend who she sees "no future" with but she keeps sleeping with him. Can I get a "WTF" ??? Dudes, women are from Venus....or they just love rich, russian patent lawyers from Qualcomm who say things like "I don't want kids or marriage because I heard it lowers the sex drive of women." (I kid you not, this terd said this to her).
Basically, she is "just not that into me" and I'm feeling blue for telling her, TONIGHT, that I can't just be her friend and I can't just operate on her super awesome friend level that she seems to maintain with all her super awesome guy friends that are at her beck and call or some BS. I'm a guy, sorry ladyfriend. I wanna be yours and you don't even want me. LOL.
Sometimes, well actually most times, friendships between men and women simply won't work out because of the basic desire for men to get with women. Duh. She can't seem to understand or accept that. I can, so I told her "to deal with it" (I didn't say it like that).
Anyhow,
Did I make myself clear enough instead of just posting a JPEG of Andrew Brown's awesome bootleg CD which contains the Dante-discovered 7" "Suffer (you make me)" of which there are only 2 known copies. Yah, I thought the jpeg summed it all up. I suffered and was there for this lady and treated her like a queen, even as a friend. I see no point in continuing to be her awesome friend if it's a pointless quest that won't lead me to what I really want, which is a real relationship with her.
DEAL WITH IT, RIGHT?
Now back to my regularly schedule programming:
Holy fuk you guys are RAD FANY WHOA.
LOL x IN-FANY-TY
and yes I often laugh out loud at you folls
I'm sick and drank 2 doeses of nyquil, I feel like a million bucks like Glen Jones everybody's a winner
fuk you all I love you, M
My man:
why can't you always post like this, seriously? Actaull sentences, paragraphs, and understandable ideas. I bet if you dropped the "FANIES" thing you woudn't catch as much flack (not sure if that matters to you but just saying).
But yo that sucks, honestly unless you can turn-off your yearn for her I would just stop talking to her all together. It might be painfull at times but try to take the idea of the big picture and the long-run as solace i.e. she's a headcase.
If anything I'm glad I didn't and won't be getting into a relationship with her. She definitely has some issues.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, it's for your own good.
You're lying to yourself, defense mechanism kicking in overdrive (sour grapes). If she were to give it up right now, you wouldn't hesitate for a minute to get down on her bumpin bus stop.
She is using you to fill in for her man's inadequacies. Yes, dude's got the midas touch in the sack, but he ain't trying to hear her yap. In comes you as the pinch hitter, avidly listening to her mindless drone. You're playing the role of boyfriend w/o benefits.
Rarely do girls upgrade bff's to bf's, unless there are extenuating circumstances (living far away, currently involved in a happy relationship). If you're actively around her for a month and nothing has happened, then either value her friendship or wrap it up b.
We as humans like to be challenged, it's an unquantifiable stimulus and our thirst is insatiable. Homegirl has got you wrapped around her little finger. It's all too easy for her, you're serving your ass up on a silver platter. Resist the urge to be at her beck and call, it's very NAY-GLE.
If you decide to step away, there's a REMOTE chance she'll actually miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. She might snap out of it and realize all the things you did for her. It might help her turn the tide and make some changes in her life. Don't hold your breath though, consider it a perk if it does happen. The main incentive to fall back is for your mental health.
If anything I'm glad I didn't and won't be getting into a relationship with her. She definitely has some issues.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, it's for your own good.
You're lying to yourself, defense mechanism kicking in overdrive (sour grapes). If she were to give it up right now, you wouldn't hesitate for a minute to get down on her bumpin bus stop.
She is using you to fill in for her man's inadequacies. Yes, dude's got the midas touch in the sack, but he ain't trying to hear her yap. In comes you as the pinch hitter, avidly listening to her mindless drone. You're playing the role of boyfriend w/o benefits.
Rarely do girls upgrade bff's to bf's, unless there are extenuating circumstances (living far away, currently involved in a happy relationship). If you're actively around her for a month and nothing has happened, then either value her friendship or wrap it up b.
We as humans like to be challenged, it's an unquantifiable stimulus and our thirst is insatiable. Homegirl has got you wrapped around her little finger. It's all too easy for her, you're serving your ass up on a silver platter. Resist the urge to be at her beck and call, it's very NAY-GLE.
If you decide to step away, there's a REMOTE chance she'll actually miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. She might snap out of it and realize all the things you did for her. It might help her turn the tide and make some changes in her life. Don't hold your breath though, consider it a perk if it does happen. The main incentive to fall back is for your mental health.
This is why Aser has got my nomination as Soulstrut's top Asian in 2006.
If anything I'm glad I didn't and won't be getting into a relationship with her. She definitely has some issues.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, it's for your own good.
You're lying to yourself, defense mechanism kicking in overdrive (sour grapes). If she were to give it up right now, you wouldn't hesitate for a minute to get down on her bumpin bus stop.
She is using you to fill in for her man's inadequacies. Yes, dude's got the midas touch in the sack, but he ain't trying to hear her yap. In comes you as the pinch hitter, avidly listening to her mindless drone. You're playing the role of boyfriend w/o benefits.
Rarely do girls upgrade bff's to bf's, unless there are extenuating circumstances (living far away, currently involved in a happy relationship). If you're actively around her for a month and nothing has happened, then either value her friendship or wrap it up b.
We as humans like to be challenged, it's an unquantifiable stimulus and our thirst is insatiable. Homegirl has got you wrapped around her little finger. It's all too easy for her, you're serving your ass up on a silver platter. Resist the urge to be at her beck and call, it's very NAY-GLE.
If you decide to step away, there's a REMOTE chance she'll actually miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. She might snap out of it and realize all the things you did for her. It might help her turn the tide and make some changes in her life. Don't hold your breath though, consider it a perk if it does happen. The main incentive to fall back is for your mental health.
Aser, have you been following Mylatency and his friend? How do you know all this? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD OF ML AND YOU JUST WROTE A NOVEL OUT OF A POST
As long as you are sincere about this with yourself, I don't see any real problems.
My advice, treat her like a regular true friend(ie. fart in front of her, take her for granted, borrow money and don't pay her back right away), not your platonic wife.
Friendships between women and men work fine, it's the 'best friend/special friend' stuff that will fuck you up. Best friends after 3 months mayturn out to be the truth, but it's the friendships built over years that really make the difference. Don't rush it.
My question is why you are all up in this girl's life trying to FRIEND your way into the pussy?
Of all my friends, each has a different way to the pussy. Some thug their way in. Some laugh their way in. Some cry their way in. Some talk their way in and some buy their way in. Some just sit there and look all male model with it. Whatever you gotta do.
But those that FRIEND their way in are the worst. They get called all sorts of liars after the thing fades, they are totally insincere about their motives, and they don't even have the fucking stones to tell the girl what they want. Shit, so much pain could be avoided, and so much more good times could be had, if a motherfucker who wants to FRIEND their way into the pussy could just man up and say: "girl, you are like my best friend. You are smart, funny, sweet, and ambitious. But damn, I feel this stirring in my loins when you come around, girl. I want to be so much more than just the one you talk to. And I think I will not be right until you and me have something more than this conversation between us."
I am sorry if that is harsh, but that is the truth. If this man is all as bad as you say, then you should have no problem raising him up off his turf. If this girl is really about him though, better off for you to just keep it moving.
"girl, you are like my best friend. You are smart, funny, sweet, and ambitious. But damn, I feel this stirring in my loins when you come around, girl. I want to be so much more than just the one you talk to. And I think I will not be right until you and me have something more than this conversation between us."
those are a Justin Timberlake intro lyrics right there. Hush voice.
If anything I'm glad I didn't and won't be getting into a relationship with her. She definitely has some issues.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, it's for your own good.
You're lying to yourself, defense mechanism kicking in overdrive (sour grapes). If she were to give it up right now, you wouldn't hesitate for a minute to get down on her bumpin bus stop.
She is using you to fill in for her man's inadequacies. Yes, dude's got the midas touch in the sack, but he ain't trying to hear her yap. In comes you as the pinch hitter, avidly listening to her mindless drone. You're playing the role of boyfriend w/o benefits.
Rarely do girls upgrade bff's to bf's, unless there are extenuating circumstances (living far away, currently involved in a happy relationship). If you're actively around her for a month and nothing has happened, then either value her friendship or wrap it up b.
We as humans like to be challenged, it's an unquantifiable stimulus and our thirst is insatiable. Homegirl has got you wrapped around her little finger. It's all too easy for her, you're serving your ass up on a silver platter. Resist the urge to be at her beck and call, it's very NAY-GLE.
If you decide to step away, there's a REMOTE chance she'll actually miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. She might snap out of it and realize all the things you did for her. It might help her turn the tide and make some changes in her life. Don't hold your breath though, consider it a perk if it does happen. The main incentive to fall back is for your mental health.
^^^ THANKS ASER, THAT SCHITT IS WHAT I'M FEELING.
I'm all about falling back and finding a real lady. I hung around her cos yeah she's got good energy and all that but I'm over trying to be servin' my ass to her on a silver platter as you stated it. Best thing to happen to me and this girl, no doubt.
Thanks everyone for serving it up straight. Y'all the best sounding board a foll could have.
"girl, you are like my best friend. You are smart, funny, sweet, and ambitious. But damn, I feel this stirring in my loins when you come around, girl. I want to be so much more than just the one you talk to. And I think I will not be right until you and me have something more than this conversation between us."
Thanks dude, I've said this to her a few times and she basically flips out a little and gets a little offensive (like last night) so I cut her off and said "bye." Of course she comes back calling me a couple hours later to make up. Whatever, I'm over her and yah I agree that friending your way to get some pussy is pretty dumb.
Deaded it, end of story. Thanks for helping me through this dudes.
I'm down to be her friend but not her manservant, lol. She'll have to DEAL. WITH. IT.
...now back to our regularly schedueled program...
My question is why you are all up in this girl's life trying to FRIEND your way into the pussy?
Of all my friends, each has a different way to the pussy. Some thug their way in. Some laugh their way in. Some cry their way in. Some talk their way in and some buy their way in. Some just sit there and look all male model with it. Whatever you gotta do.
But those that FRIEND their way in are the worst. They get called all sorts of liars after the thing fades, they are totally insincere about their motives, and they don't even have the fucking stones to tell the girl what they want. Shit, so much pain could be avoided, and so much more good times could be had, if a motherfucker who wants to FRIEND their way into the pussy could just man up and say: "girl, you are like my best friend. You are smart, funny, sweet, and ambitious. But damn, I feel this stirring in my loins when you come around, girl. I want to be so much more than just the one you talk to. And I think I will not be right until you and me have something more than this conversation between us."
I am sorry if that is harsh, but that is the truth. If this man is all as bad as you say, then you should have no problem raising him up off his turf. If this girl is really about him though, better off for you to just keep it moving.
Yeah, this and what Aser said is good advice.
However, it's kind of disappointing to see the number of SoulStrut dudes that think it's impossible to be friends with women... or at least with women that they find attractive.
It shouldn't be a problem. The problem is when you present yourself as a person who is interested in one thing--friendship--when in reality you are looking for something completely different. That's a situation that's pretty much guaranteed to end badly.
However, it's kind of disappointing to see the number of SoulStrut dudes that think it's impossible to be friends with women... or at least with women that they find attractive.
Folks need to dead that Nora Ephron/"When Harry Met Sally" mentality.
The trick is making friends with attractive women who are completely crazy and therefore, undesirable to be anything more than friends with.
However, it's kind of disappointing to see the number of SoulStrut dudes that think it's impossible to be friends with women... or at least with women that they find attractive.
It's not impossible at all. My only problem is when you're dealing with someone you've had relations with...or was considering having relations with and got shot down...and the girl starts acting like friendship is going to replace sex. Right after telling you about the evening she spent with her boyfriend. That's when being "buddies without benefits" comes off as a pisspoor consolation prize. Women can be insensitive, too, ya know...not to sound like some pimp, but that's where I draw the line. If I can't be your man, don't come to me for advice on the dude you're hooking up with. That ain't gonna fly, sorry.
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
Hey Moark, were you dropped on your head as a child?
You guys rock.
Thanks a lot, fanies.
I wish I had the time all day long to sit on this online forum and spew my guts, it would be great. Here's the long and short of it:
I'm more than man enough for this woman (+5 years my age) but she finally reiterated tonight that she "doesn't like me like that" and that I'm basically an incongruent dunce for being a butthead because I'm her "Best Friend" and I shouldn't be severing a strong friendship with her (her dad passed when she was 3 so I think she has issues on the men leaving her front).
This is obviously "a problem" to her since I'm totally digging on her for 3 months and she has become my best friend during that time. Thus, she is making me feel like a dunce for making it more than it should/is and that I'm in the wrong, right? Yes, yarrgh.
This was all brought to a head this past weekend when she finally broke up with her terd boyfriend who she sees "no future" with but she keeps sleeping with him. Can I get a "WTF" ??? Dudes, women are from Venus....or they just love rich, russian patent lawyers from Qualcomm who say things like "I don't want kids or marriage because I heard it lowers the sex drive of women." (I kid you not, this terd said this to her).
Basically, she is "just not that into me" and I'm feeling blue for telling her, TONIGHT, that I can't just be her friend and I can't just operate on her super awesome friend level that she seems to maintain with all her super awesome guy friends that are at her beck and call or some BS. I'm a guy, sorry ladyfriend. I wanna be yours and you don't even want me. LOL.
Sometimes, well actually most times, friendships between men and women simply won't work out because of the basic desire for men to get with women. Duh. She can't seem to understand or accept that. I can, so I told her "to deal with it" (I didn't say it like that).
Anyhow,
Did I make myself clear enough instead of just posting a JPEG of Andrew Brown's awesome bootleg CD which contains the Dante-discovered 7" "Suffer (you make me)" of which there are only 2 known copies. Yah, I thought the jpeg summed it all up. I suffered and was there for this lady and treated her like a queen, even as a friend. I see no point in continuing to be her awesome friend if it's a pointless quest that won't lead me to what I really want, which is a real relationship with her.
DEAL WITH IT, RIGHT?
Now back to my regularly schedule programming:
Holy fuk you guys are RAD FANY WHOA.
LOL x IN-FANY-TY
and yes I often laugh out loud at you folls
I'm sick and drank 2 doeses of nyquil, I feel like a million bucks like Glen Jones everybody's a winner
fuk you all I love you, M
Yo Mark,
No offense, but why would you want a relationship with such a shallow, conflicted, self-loathing woman? Don't herb yourself. What does it say about you to want someone like that? This is a question you should ask yourself.
Cut the relationship completely. Otherwise you are wasting each other's time. Even if it goes nowhere, you don't want this girl on the scene when you hook up with The Next Big Thing??? - you had to go down the road to see where it went, it was a dead end. Most are.
Cut the relationship completely. Otherwise you are wasting each other's time. Even if it goes nowhere, you don't want this girl on the scene when you hook up with The Next Big Thing??? - you had to go down the road to see where it went, it was a dead end. Most are.
Trust me, I am married.
THANKS DOOD NEXT TIME SHE CALLS I'M JUST GONNA BE LIKE:
No offense, but why would you want a relationship with such a shallow, conflicted, self-loathing woman? Don't herb yourself. What does it say about you to want someone like that? This is a question you should ask yourself.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Honestly, there is tons about her that I left out. I just posted the basic gist of what happened with me and her. She's got her issues but she's a really cool gal (going to Africa in a month to do some NGO work, saving the world, etc). I'm over her though, and really over it all.
'Nuff said, you guys helped me get past this crapola, and I thank you.
Now if only I could ditch this cold that I caught...
Comments
it's not like I'm hanging around waiting for her, dudes...I just let her know how I felt and basically deaded myself to her in that way. It's been 3 months in the making but whatever, it had to happen sooner or later. At least I can be her friend, whatever. WHATEVER.
If this schitt does come up again, I will be saying the big goodbye to her but something tells me otherwise. I think I'mma meet me a nice girl this time, momma.
lol.
I got that album if you need it.
PS if you need to just give me a ring.
WESTWOOD HO!
My man:
why can't you always post like this, seriously? Actaull sentences, paragraphs, and understandable ideas. I bet if you dropped the "FANIES" thing you woudn't catch as much flack (not sure if that matters to you but just saying).
But yo that sucks, honestly unless you can turn-off your yearn for her I would just stop talking to her all together. It might be painfull at times but try to take the idea of the big picture and the long-run as solace i.e. she's a headcase.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, it's for your own good.
You're lying to yourself, defense mechanism kicking in overdrive (sour grapes). If she were to give it up right now, you wouldn't hesitate for a minute to get down on her bumpin bus stop.
She is using you to fill in for her man's inadequacies. Yes, dude's got the midas touch in the sack, but he ain't trying to hear her yap. In comes you as the pinch hitter, avidly listening to her mindless drone. You're playing the role of boyfriend w/o benefits.
Rarely do girls upgrade bff's to bf's, unless there are extenuating circumstances (living far away, currently involved in a happy relationship). If you're actively around her for a month and nothing has happened, then either value her friendship or wrap it up b.
We as humans like to be challenged, it's an unquantifiable stimulus and our thirst is insatiable. Homegirl has got you wrapped around her little finger. It's all too easy for her, you're serving your ass up on a silver platter. Resist the urge to be at her beck and call, it's very NAY-GLE.
If you decide to step away, there's a REMOTE chance she'll actually miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. She might snap out of it and realize all the things you did for her. It might help her turn the tide and make some changes in her life. Don't hold your breath though, consider it a perk if it does happen. The main incentive to fall back is for your mental health.
This is why Aser has got my nomination as Soulstrut's top Asian in 2006.
Aser, have you been following Mylatency and his friend? How do you know all this?
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD OF ML AND YOU JUST WROTE A NOVEL OUT OF A POST
Now the ebay auction to buy his "sister" a car makes sense...
As long as you are sincere about this with yourself, I don't see any real problems.
My advice, treat her like a regular true friend(ie. fart in front of her, take her for granted, borrow money and don't pay her back right away), not your platonic wife.
Friendships between women and men work fine, it's the 'best friend/special friend' stuff that will fuck you up. Best friends after 3 months mayturn out to be the truth, but it's the friendships built over years that really make the difference. Don't rush it.
Of all my friends, each has a different way to the pussy. Some thug their way in. Some laugh their way in. Some cry their way in. Some talk their way in and some buy their way in. Some just sit there and look all male model with it. Whatever you gotta do.
But those that FRIEND their way in are the worst. They get called all sorts of liars after the thing fades, they are totally insincere about their motives, and they don't even have the fucking stones to tell the girl what they want. Shit, so much pain could be avoided, and so much more good times could be had, if a motherfucker who wants to FRIEND their way into the pussy could just man up and say: "girl, you are like my best friend. You are smart, funny, sweet, and ambitious. But damn, I feel this stirring in my loins when you come around, girl. I want to be so much more than just the one you talk to. And I think I will not be right until you and me have something more than this conversation between us."
I am sorry if that is harsh, but that is the truth. If this man is all as bad as you say, then you should have no problem raising him up off his turf. If this girl is really about him though, better off for you to just keep it moving.
those are a Justin Timberlake intro lyrics right there. Hush voice.
hear ye hear ye
^^^ THANKS ASER, THAT SCHITT IS WHAT I'M FEELING.
I'm all about falling back and finding a real lady. I hung around her cos yeah she's got good energy and all that but I'm over trying to be servin' my ass to her on a silver platter as you stated it. Best thing to happen to me and this girl, no doubt.
Thanks everyone for serving it up straight. Y'all the best sounding board a foll could have.
keep it real,
M
Thanks dude, I've said this to her a few times and she basically flips out a little and gets a little offensive (like last night) so I cut her off and said "bye." Of course she comes back calling me a couple hours later to make up. Whatever, I'm over her and yah I agree that friending your way to get some pussy is pretty dumb.
Deaded it, end of story. Thanks for helping me through this dudes.
I'm down to be her friend but not her manservant, lol. She'll have to DEAL. WITH. IT.
...now back to our regularly schedueled program...
^^^ Saying. REAL TALK.
More consistent than Boot Camp Clik doing it on every album.
"Most women have no idea what they want, they just know they don't have it"
^^^ AMEN
Thanks guys, you are all truly DUDES about this advice schitt.
REAL TALK IN THE HOUSE.
M
HAH HAH!!!
mylatency = more consistant than kufi raps, I mean classic hip hop
Yeah, this and what Aser said is good advice.
However, it's kind of disappointing to see the number of SoulStrut dudes that think it's impossible to be friends with women... or at least with women that they find attractive.
It shouldn't be a problem. The problem is when you present yourself as a person who is interested in one thing--friendship--when in reality you are looking for something completely different. That's a situation that's pretty much guaranteed to end badly.
Folks need to dead that Nora Ephron/"When Harry Met Sally" mentality.
The trick is making friends with attractive women who are completely crazy and therefore, undesirable to be anything more than friends with.
It's not impossible at all. My only problem is when you're dealing with someone you've had relations with...or was considering having relations with and got shot down...and the girl starts acting like friendship is going to replace sex. Right after telling you about the evening she spent with her boyfriend. That's when being "buddies without benefits" comes off as a pisspoor consolation prize. Women can be insensitive, too, ya know...not to sound like some pimp, but that's where I draw the line. If I can't be your man, don't come to me for advice on the dude you're hooking up with. That ain't gonna fly, sorry.
Yo Mark,
No offense, but why would you want a relationship with such a shallow, conflicted, self-loathing woman? Don't herb yourself. What does it say about you to want someone like that? This is a question you should ask yourself.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Cut the relationship completely. Otherwise you are wasting each other's time. Even if it goes nowhere, you don't want this girl on the scene when you hook up with The Next Big Thing??? - you had to go down the road to see where it went, it was a dead end. Most are.
Trust me, I am married.
THANKS DOOD
NEXT TIME SHE CALLS I'M JUST GONNA BE LIKE:
"THIS WHAT MONEY DO, GETCHA SOME HATTEUR."
Honestly, there is tons about her that I left out. I just posted the basic gist of what happened with me and her. She's got her issues but she's a really cool gal (going to Africa in a month to do some NGO work, saving the world, etc). I'm over her though, and really over it all.
'Nuff said, you guys helped me get past this crapola, and I thank you.
Now if only I could ditch this cold that I caught...
Cheers,
M
This man is a true guru & should be a life coach. I'm not playing.