if you gonna play that friend schitt then show absolutely NO interest in being anymore than a friend to her. EVER. eventually her female vanity will make her question why you don't want to tap that ass and she will push up on YOU. when she does push up on you REJECT HER. she will then either be angered and you will never get another chance with her, or she will be your sex slave. your attitude should ALWAYS be that it's no big thang either way
seriously though, mayne, you'll be all right. time heals all wounds. keep it movin' and DO YOU. peace out
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
if you gonna play that friend schitt then show absolutely NO interest in being anymore than a friend to her. EVER. eventually her female vanity will make her question why you don't want to tap that ass and she will push up on YOU. when she does push up on you REJECT HER. she will then either be angered and you will never get another chance with her, or she will be your sex slave. your attitude should ALWAYS be that it's no big thang either way
Preach it, brotha!!!! Preach!!!!! Never let 'em see you sweat, when it comes to the ladies (except during some vigorous bonin', perhaps).
if you gonna play that friend schitt then show absolutely NO interest in being anymore than a friend to her. EVER. eventually her female vanity will make her question why you don't want to tap that ass and she will push up on YOU. when she does push up on you REJECT HER. she will then either be angered and you will never get another chance with her, or she will be your sex slave. your attitude should ALWAYS be that it's no big thang either way
Preach it, brotha!!!! Preach!!!!! Never let 'em see you sweat, when it comes to the ladies (except during some vigorous bonin', perhaps).
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Funny but True.
You`ll get no respect being TOO nice.Nice has to be moderately mixed in with not interested arsehole.
In my late teens I shared a house with a friend who got more trim than anyone I've ever known. He wasn't the best looking guy in the world but he just approached women with a callous attitude and the shit worked.....almost always.
So one night I'm in bed asleep, gotta get up for work the next day, and he comes home with a girl he met at the club that night. I hear her saying "Are you sure no one's home, whose car is that in the driveway". He assures her they're alone and I hear his bedroom door slam shut.
About an hour or so later I'm awakened by my buddy shouting "Hey Rich, I'm done with her, she's all yours" followed by this girl screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs that he's a pig and demanding he take her home. My buddy tells her F.U. and goes to sleep.
I wake up in the morning to go to work and here's this beautiful girl, looks like Tia Carerra's better looking sister sitting in our front room, waiting for a friend to come pick her up.
About a week later a bunch of us go to a club about 50 miles away and as we're just hanging out drinking I see the same chick across the room. I tell my buddy but before you know it she's heading our way with a couple of her friends. As she approaches she tells her friends, in a flattering way, "this is the guy I was telling you about". My pal acts like he's giving her the once over and says "Who the fuck are you, am I supposed to know you?"
Of course she walks away in a huff and I imagine is pretty embarrassed.
For the next month this girl STALKED my buddy.....calling everyday, wanting to hook up. Taught me a good lesson about the female psyche.
I have stories for days about hanging out with this guy.
One more......and remember this was Pre-AIDS and shit was a little different than it is today.
One Monday I'm at work sharing stories with co-workers about our weekend and I tell them a story about my above mentioned room mate scoring with women, as usual. These guys find my story hard to believe and say, "We wanna go out with this guy and see this for ourselves"
So that Friday night we plan on going to the hot disco at the time called "Speakeasy" in Nassau County. It's a huge place with a long line outside to pay a cover charge. Me, my room mate and 3 co-workers are waiting on line when this good looking girl comes out of the club by herself.
As she walks by my roomie says "Wanna go out to my Van and fool around". To which she immediately responds "Sure!" and off they go.
Now my pals from work are calling bullshit. "You planned that shit, that girl is a plant". But it wasn't the case, this dude just had no conscience and no inhabitions about women.
About an hour later my room mate meets us back in the club with a big smile on his face.
And my co-workers never did believe that it wasn't a set up.
One more......and remember this was Pre-AIDS and shit was a little different than it is today.
One Monday I'm at work sharing stories with co-workers about our weekend and I tell them a story about my above mentioned room mate scoring with women, as usual. These guys find my story hard to believe and say, "We wanna go out with this guy and see this for ourselves"
So that Friday night we plan on going to the hot disco at the time called "Speakeasy" in Nassau County. It's a huge place with a long line outside to pay a cover charge. Me, my room mate and 3 co-workers are waiting on line when this good looking girl comes out of the club by herself.
As she walks by my roomie says "Wanna go out to my Van and fool around". To which she immediately responds "Sure!" and off they go.
Now my pals from work are calling bullshit. "You planned that shit, that girl is a plant". But it wasn't the case, this dude just had no conscience and no inhabitions about women.
About an hour later my room mate meets us back in the club with a big smile on his face.
And my co-workers never did believe that it wasn't a set up.
I feel like people who are this natural pick up artists don't have a science, and it's not just not giving a fuck. It's probably that dude just an the aura that oozes carefree sexuality. Enticing but non-threatening. 90% of other guys try "wanna go out to my van and fool around" and come off sleazy and desperate.
I feel like people who are this natural pick up artists don't have a science, and it's not just not giving a fuck. It's probably that dude just an the aura that oozes carefree sexuality. Enticing but non-threatening. 90% of other guys try "wanna go out to my van and fool around" and come off sleazy and desperate.
No doubt....there is definitely a technique and personality involved.
I feel like people who are this natural pick up artists don't have a science, and it's not just not giving a fuck. It's probably that dude just an the aura that oozes carefree sexuality. Enticing but non-threatening. 90% of other guys try "wanna go out to my van and fool around" and come off sleazy and desperate.
No doubt....there is definitely a technique and personality involved.
This is true, but you might think that you have to be this good looking heartthrob type for this to work. Oh contraer mon fraer! It's really about confidence, i guess some sort of charisma and don't underestimate the "just not giving a fuck" factor. I swear, I've known dudes who looked like they had NOTHING going for them who always could pull the ladies. And I know a lot of dudes will look at all of this as being disrespectful to women (Rock's friend actually does go to far with the crassness as far as I'm concerned, yet look at the results), but you tell me what's worse- deceiving a lady with all this nice guy bullschitt when you really just want to get up in them draws, or just coming out and asking "hey, you wanna go somewhere and fuck?" Sometimes that's all the woman wants, too! Better to be honest and find somebody who's down for the same thing than to lead somebody on
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
I feel like people who are this natural pick up artists don't have a science, and it's not just not giving a fuck. It's probably that dude just an the aura that oozes carefree sexuality. Enticing but non-threatening. 90% of other guys try "wanna go out to my van and fool around" and come off sleazy and desperate.
No doubt....there is definitely a technique and personality involved.
This is true, but you might think that you have to be this good looking heartthrob type for this to work. Oh contraer mon fraer! It's really about confidence, i guess some sort of charisma and don't underestimate the "just not giving a fuck" factor. I swear, I've known dudes who looked like they had NOTHING going for them who always could pull the ladies. And I know a lot of dudes will look at all of this as being disrespectful to women (Rock's friend actually does go to far with the crassness as far as I'm concerned, yet look at the results), but you tell me what's worse- deceiving a lady with all this nice guy bullschitt when you really just want to get up in them draws, or just coming out and asking "hey, you wanna go somewhere and fuck?" Sometimes that's all the woman wants, too! Better to be honest and find somebody who's down for the same thing than to lead somebody on
Alright guys,
I'm gonna tell you the two top secrets to getting women:
1. Be non-chalant.
2. Make her feel special.
Not sweatin' a hot babe, while at the same time giving a fuck about what she has to say will get you much booty. And oh yes, you must have charisma (which T**i says I have oozing from my being). Take it from a long-time veteran and now retiree, the shit use to work like a charm, across age groups (young-bippy chicks to mid-30 and up veterans). Now, be sure to quote me in your future writings on the topic (Big Stacks, 2006).
Not sweatin' a hot babe, while at the same time giving a fuck about what she has to say will get you much booty.
Preach on, Brotha Stacks! That's it exactly, knowing how to balance both of those actions without going too damn far with either. Dudes think its all about running down some game to a woman... naw, man. LISTEN TO HER. Not even just to get booty, whether it's a friend, girl, wife, daughter, whatever. (I gotta drop some real schitt, just so that fools don't get my previous posts misunderstood- none of what I'm saying is about disrespecting females... just don't be a sucker for love, that's all )
Since I don't really want to make a big deal about it, I guess this is as good a time as any to let the Soulstrut massive know that your boy from NC has moved into his own apartment and is signing separation papers next week to amicably end a 10-year marriage. My soon-to-be-ex is a wonderful woman, but as it turned out she was just not the right one for me. It took a while to for me to admit this to myself, but better late than never. Luckily we still remain friends and there is no drama. Those that know me personally can PM me for details if you care.
In any case, by rights I should be looking at this thread and the Ladyfriend In The Club thread and be eagerly taking notes of all the knowledge gems being dropped to help me embark on my journey into bachelorhood.
But I gotta be honest. All I can do about these threads is nod my head, smile, and say the ladyfriend in the club schtick works, and everyone should seriously listen to pretty much everything Big Stacks says about playing it cool.
IROCK> In other words, you don't need to worry about your boy Marco. /IROCK>
Moark, on the other hand... well player, I feel where you're coming from, but you need to get with some "ex one to the next one" action posthaste. However that works for you. Don't be played.
In the words of the great philosopher D. Wooderson:
Not sweatin' a hot babe, while at the same time giving a fuck about what she has to say will get you much booty.
Preach on, Brotha Stacks! That's it exactly, knowing how to balance both of those actions without going too damn far with either.
This is the part that the instruction manual usually glosses over: we know its wrong to be in a woman's grill all the time, but act TOO nonchalant and you might risk losing her THAT way.
As long as you are sincere about this with yourself, I don't see any real problems.
My advice, treat her like a regular true friend(ie. fart in front of her, take her for granted, borrow money and don't pay her back right away), not your platonic wife.
Friendships between women and men work fine, it's the 'best friend/special friend' stuff that will fuck you up. Best friends after 3 months mayturn out to be the truth, but it's the friendships built over years that really make the difference. Don't rush it.
Update: I think we'll be keeping our friendship. I finally answered her call tonight and I told her I'd be toning it down and shifting my focus from her and she was acting a little confrontational again.
Whatever, I'm seeing her for coffee on Sunday and I think that will be a wrap for the week. Her Russian gets back this week and frankly, I could care less!
As Jeezy would say: "HAH HAH!"
Thanks doods, I'm more into this Suns/Wizards game than any lame dame.
Thanks for posting about your recent divorce. I thought you two were going strong but alas if it's amicable, then it's what's best, right? I hope you're alright, man.
Sometimes you do just need to keep on living.
Wooderson: THE GIRLS STAY THE SAME AGE
Frankly, I'm loving it.
Cheers Marco, hold your head up. You're Champagne!!!!!
lol, M
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
Not sweatin' a hot babe, while at the same time giving a fuck about what she has to say will get you much booty.
Preach on, Brotha Stacks! That's it exactly, knowing how to balance both of those actions without going too damn far with either.
This is the part that the instruction manual usually glosses over: we know its wrong to be in a woman's grill all the time, but act TOO nonchalant and you might risk losing her THAT way.
The way to do the above is to sure express your interest, but also go about living your life as you did before you met the babe. That is, keep having drinks with your buddies, engaging in your usual hobbies/interests, going out with other babes (be up front about this), etc. Keep in mind, I'm talking about early on before commitments have been made. Don't put your life on hold sweatin' the chick calling her 10 times a day, going by her crib all the time, all that shit. Also, don't be that pathetic "available all the time" loser that she can call up and get with on a whim. Have some shit to do (just so you're not a boring muthafucka). If you go about your business normally, taking out some time to call and get with her every now and again, you should be reasonably non-chalant.
I told her I'd be toning it down and shifting my focus from her
You gotta do it without saying it.
Right.
You say: "I will be toning it down and shifting my focus from you"
She hears: "This dude is obsessed with me"
If it were me, and I told her up front that I was crushing on her (same as you did), I wouldn't have apologized...with me, my version of Not Giving A Fuck is telling her straight-up, with hardly any preamble, that I am interested...some obsessive nice-guy sap who does give a fuck will try to cover up their erection some kind of way, like trying to respectfully "friend" their way to the pussy, as has been said here...I think just letting them know you're interested, without any excuses, is enough of a revolutionary move right there.
But those dudes up there are right - if you're about to leave one job for another, you're not gonna tell the bossman "look-a-here, I'm gonna work somewhere else and you'll be sorry when I'm rich & famous!" And you're not gonna tell an unrequited, friend-zone crush "I will focus away from you."
Unless they ask, which is a perfect time to tell them to kiss your ass (so to speak)!
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
won't be getting into a relationship with her.
As long as you are sincere about this with yourself, I don't see any real problems.
My advice, treat her like a regular true friend(ie. fart in front of her, take her for granted, borrow money and don't pay her back right away), not your platonic wife.
Friendships between women and men work fine, it's the 'best friend/special friend' stuff that will fuck you up. Best friends after 3 months mayturn out to be the truth, but it's the friendships built over years that really make the difference. Don't rush it.
Update: I think we'll be keeping our friendship. I finally answered her call tonight and I told her I'd be toning it down and shifting my focus from her and she was acting a little confrontational again.
Whatever, I'm seeing her for coffee on Sunday and I think that will be a wrap for the week. Her Russian gets back this week and frankly, I could care less!
As Jeezy would say: "HAH HAH!"
Thanks doods, I'm more into this Suns/Wizards game than any lame dame.
Bow out gracefully, dude (no weak-sauce proclamations that reak of bitterness). Don't herb yourself like the other guys have said. Actions speak louder than words. Good luck!!!
I told her I'd be toning it down and shifting my focus from her
You gotta do it without saying it.
Right.
You say: "I will be toning it down and shifting my focus from you"
She hears: "This dude is obsessed with me"
absolutely.
i'm late to this but based on the dude she was with it sounds like she is into jerks which isn't too surprising. i know many girls who have a proclivity for these maschochistic relationships where dude is emotionally detached and not friend material. i don't really want to get into the psychology of it but yeah i hardly know any gal whose boyfriend used to be a brofriend
I told her I'd be toning it down and shifting my focus from her
You gotta do it without saying it.
Right.
You say: "I will be toning it down and shifting my focus from you"
She hears: "This dude is obsessed with me"
absolutely.
i'm late to this but based on the dude she was with it sounds like she is into jerks which isn't too surprising. i know many girls who have a proclivity for these maschochistic relationships where dude is emotionally detached and not friend material. i don't really want to get into the psychology of it but yeah i hardly know any gal whose boyfriend used to be a brofriend
"I will be toning it down and shifting my focus from you, but my eyes will continue to flicker in your direction."
Comments
^^^KNOWLEDGE GEMS
THANKS PHILLMOST
I'M NOW A REFORMED PLATONIC STEPLADDER THANKS TO YOU GUYS!
That song is bananaers.
Preach it, brotha!!!! Preach!!!!!
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Funny but True.
You`ll get no respect being TOO nice.Nice has to be moderately mixed in with not interested arsehole.
In my late teens I shared a house with a friend who got more trim than anyone I've ever known. He wasn't the best looking guy in the world but he just approached women with a callous attitude and the shit worked.....almost always.
So one night I'm in bed asleep, gotta get up for work the next day, and he comes home with a girl he met at the club that night. I hear her saying "Are you sure no one's home, whose car is that in the driveway". He assures her they're alone and I hear his bedroom door slam shut.
About an hour or so later I'm awakened by my buddy shouting "Hey Rich, I'm done with her, she's all yours" followed by this girl screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs that he's a pig and demanding he take her home. My buddy tells her F.U. and goes to sleep.
I wake up in the morning to go to work and here's this beautiful girl, looks like Tia Carerra's better looking sister sitting in our front room, waiting for a friend to come pick her up.
About a week later a bunch of us go to a club about 50 miles away and as we're just hanging out drinking I see the same chick across the room. I tell my buddy but before you know it she's heading our way with a couple of her friends. As she approaches she tells her friends, in a flattering way, "this is the guy I was telling you about". My pal acts like he's giving her the once over and says "Who the fuck are you, am I supposed to know you?"
Of course she walks away in a huff and I imagine is pretty embarrassed.
For the next month this girl STALKED my buddy.....calling everyday, wanting to hook up. Taught me a good lesson about the female psyche.
I have stories for days about hanging out with this guy.
Amazing stuff to witness first hand.
Preach on brothers, you're teaching me tons
cheers,
M
One Monday I'm at work sharing stories with co-workers about our weekend and I tell them a story about my above mentioned room mate scoring with women, as usual. These guys find my story hard to believe and say, "We wanna go out with this guy and see this for ourselves"
So that Friday night we plan on going to the hot disco at the time called "Speakeasy" in Nassau County. It's a huge place with a long line outside to pay a cover charge. Me, my room mate and 3 co-workers are waiting on line when this good looking girl comes out of the club by herself.
As she walks by my roomie says "Wanna go out to my Van and fool around". To which she immediately responds "Sure!" and off they go.
Now my pals from work are calling bullshit. "You planned that shit, that girl is a plant". But it wasn't the case, this dude just had no conscience and no inhabitions about women.
About an hour later my room mate meets us back in the club with a big smile on his face.
And my co-workers never did believe that it wasn't a set up.
I feel like people who are this natural pick up artists don't have a science, and it's not just not giving a fuck. It's probably that dude just an the aura that oozes carefree sexuality. Enticing but non-threatening. 90% of other guys try "wanna go out to my van and fool around" and come off sleazy and desperate.
No doubt....there is definitely a technique and personality involved.
This is true, but you might think that you have to be this good looking heartthrob type for this to work. Oh contraer mon fraer!
And I know a lot of dudes will look at all of this as being disrespectful to women (Rock's friend actually does go to far with the crassness as far as I'm concerned, yet look at the results), but you tell me what's worse- deceiving a lady with all this nice guy bullschitt when you really just want to get up in them draws, or just coming out and asking "hey, you wanna go somewhere and fuck?" Sometimes that's all the woman wants, too! Better to be honest and find somebody who's down for the same thing than to lead somebody on
The title pretty much says it all.
Alright guys,
I'm gonna tell you the two top secrets to getting women:
1. Be non-chalant.
2. Make her feel special.
Not sweatin' a hot babe, while at the same time giving a fuck about what she has to say will get you much booty. And oh yes, you must have charisma (which T**i says I have oozing from my being). Take it from a long-time veteran and now retiree, the shit use to work like a charm, across age groups (young-bippy chicks to mid-30 and up veterans). Now, be sure to quote me in your future writings on the topic (Big Stacks, 2006).
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Preach on, Brotha Stacks! That's it exactly, knowing how to balance both of those actions without going too damn far with either. Dudes think its all about running down some game to a woman... naw, man. LISTEN TO HER. Not even just to get booty, whether it's a friend, girl, wife, daughter, whatever. (I gotta drop some real schitt, just so that fools don't get my previous posts misunderstood- none of what I'm saying is about disrespecting females... just don't be a sucker for love, that's all
In any case, by rights I should be looking at this thread and the Ladyfriend In The Club thread and be eagerly taking notes of all the knowledge gems being dropped to help me embark on my journey into bachelorhood.
But I gotta be honest. All I can do about these threads is nod my head, smile, and say the ladyfriend in the club schtick works, and everyone should seriously listen to pretty much everything Big Stacks says about playing it cool.
IROCK> In other words, you don't need to worry about your boy Marco. /IROCK>
Moark, on the other hand... well player, I feel where you're coming from, but you need to get with some "ex one to the next one" action posthaste. However that works for you. Don't be played.
In the words of the great philosopher D. Wooderson:
"You gotta keep livin', man. L. I. V. I. N."
And one other thing.
MOARK - YOU ROCK!
This is the part that the instruction manual usually glosses over: we know its wrong to be in a woman's grill all the time, but act TOO nonchalant and you might risk losing her THAT way.
Update: I think we'll be keeping our friendship. I finally answered her call tonight and I told her I'd be toning it down and shifting my focus from her and she was acting a little confrontational again.
Whatever, I'm seeing her for coffee on Sunday and I think that will be a wrap for the week. Her Russian gets back this week and frankly, I could care less!
As Jeezy would say: "HAH HAH!"
Thanks doods, I'm more into this Suns/Wizards game than any lame dame.
tHANKS MARCO!!! DJ MARCO, you sincerely rock!!!!
Thanks for posting about your recent divorce. I thought you two were going strong but alas if it's amicable, then it's what's best, right? I hope you're alright, man.
Sometimes you do just need to keep on living.
Wooderson: THE GIRLS STAY THE SAME AGE
Frankly, I'm loving it.
Cheers Marco, hold your head up. You're Champagne!!!!!
lol,
M
The way to do the above is to sure express your interest, but also go about living your life as you did before you met the babe. That is, keep having drinks with your buddies, engaging in your usual hobbies/interests, going out with other babes (be up front about this), etc. Keep in mind, I'm talking about early on before commitments have been made. Don't put your life on hold sweatin' the chick calling her 10 times a day, going by her crib all the time, all that shit. Also, don't be that pathetic "available all the time" loser that she can call up and get with on a whim. Have some shit to do (just so you're not a boring muthafucka). If you go about your business normally, taking out some time to call and get with her every now and again, you should be reasonably non-chalant.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
You gotta do it without saying it.
yet more
PIMP ON, PIMP ON
Right.
You say: "I will be toning it down and shifting my focus from you"
She hears: "This dude is obsessed with me"
If it were me, and I told her up front that I was crushing on her (same as you did), I wouldn't have apologized...with me, my version of Not Giving A Fuck is telling her straight-up, with hardly any preamble, that I am interested...some obsessive nice-guy sap who does give a fuck will try to cover up their erection some kind of way, like trying to respectfully "friend" their way to the pussy, as has been said here...I think just letting them know you're interested, without any excuses, is enough of a revolutionary move right there.
But those dudes up there are right - if you're about to leave one job for another, you're not gonna tell the bossman "look-a-here, I'm gonna work somewhere else and you'll be sorry when I'm rich & famous!" And you're not gonna tell an unrequited, friend-zone crush "I will focus away from you."
Unless they ask, which is a perfect time to tell them to kiss your ass (so to speak)!
Bow out gracefully, dude (no weak-sauce proclamations that reak of bitterness). Don't herb yourself like the other guys have said. Actions speak louder than words. Good luck!!!
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
absolutely.
i'm late to this but based on the dude she was with it sounds like she is into jerks which isn't too surprising. i know many girls who have a proclivity for these maschochistic relationships where dude is emotionally detached and not friend material. i don't really want to get into the psychology of it but yeah i hardly know any gal whose boyfriend used to be a brofriend
"I will be toning it down and shifting my focus from you, but my eyes will continue to flicker in your direction."
i do, but it was usually an accident. never planned.