The Thirstiest MF EVAR (NRR)
funky16corners
7,175 Posts
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=268346HOWDY NEIGHBOR!![/b]
funky16corners
7,175 Posts
Comments
co-sign
24 cans a day
So what if he draing can after can - it's good for you.
Who care about REAL ESTATE MAN I wan talk to the man with the cans.
If the man with the cans can have any fans.
I am original from GEORGIA and we used to have to SMUGGLE the stuff.
Like it was DRUGS or ILLEGIBLE IMMIGRANTS in trouble smuggler.
Artist: Jerry Reed
Song: East Bound And Down
CHORUS
Well I'm east bound and down, loaded up and truckin'
a'we gonna' do what they say can't be done
We got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
I'm east bound, just watch 'ole' Bandit run.
VERSE 1
Keep your foot hard on the peddle....son, never mind them brakes.....
let it all hang out, cause we got a run to make
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta, and there's beer in Texarkana
and we'll bring it back no matter what it takes.[/b]
CHORUS
SOLO
VERSE 2
Old Smokey's got them ears on, he's hot on your trail
And he ain't gonna' rest 'til you're in jail
So, you gotta' dodge him, you gotta' duck him
you gotta' keep that diesel truckin'
just put that hammer down and give it hell
Well I'm east bound and down, loaded up and truckin'
a'we gonna' do what they say can't be done
We got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
I'm east bound, just watch 'ole' Bandit run.
Coors' appearance in SMOKEY & THE BANDIT is perhaps its most redeeming quality. Or maybe you forgot those "sensitive beer drinking" male Mark Harmon commercials from a decade past?
Anyway I'll be in your area in two weeks brother - Fred the dog can't make it but yours truly The Snowman will be ready for deepdish pizza and the area's finest brews. HOLLER
KILLER MARK look for us sqad up THIS HOW WE ROLL
The song say TEXAS but could aslo CHICAGO = this how we roll:
Artist: Red Sovine
Song: Colorado Kool-Aid[/b]
Well, I was sittin' in this bar joint down in Houston, Texas.
Was drinkin' Colorado kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans
an' we was...what's that you say? What's Coloradr Kool-Aid?
Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream.
It'll set your head on fire an' make your kidney's scream, oh it sure is fine.
Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times.
But you know every beer joint that you've ever been in, some big,
mean drunk who ain't got no friend, sure enough he wants to fight.
Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight.
Well, he took him a big swallow of beer,
and he spit it in my Mexican friend's ear.
And, sure enough, that made my buddie real mad.
That's somethin' like he never had.
Well, sir he pulled out a big, long switchblade knife.
Quick as a whistle he began to slice.
An', that big, mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears,
lookin' down at the floor, an' one of his ears.
Ha, he cut that thing off, even with the sideburns.
You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a durn.
But he was gentleman about it, an' bent over and with a half way grin,
picked it up and handed it back to him.
He said, " Now big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer,
just open up your hand there, and spit it in your own ear.
Won't be no trouble that way."
That's what I heard him say.
And I said, "Barmaid, sat us a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid!
An' while you're up their, bring this big fella, here, a box of band aids!
Now, let me tell you, if you're ever ridin' down south of Texas.
Decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Kool-Aid, an' maybe talk to some Mexicans,
an' you get the urge to get a little tough better make damn
sure you got your knife proof ear-muffs.[/b]
Hey, ain't that right big man?
I said ain't that right big man?
Ah, hell he can't hear,
not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear.
Hey, barmaid, bring us all a big,
tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid.
How about it?
How you doin' big man? Still got your ear in your hand?!
Ryan "Cletus" Froerer:
I'm sorry marco but I sincerely doubt you're gonna find a vegan deepdish Chicago style pie
I don't think I've ever tasted a Coors in my life and I'm not afraid of alkey-hol
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Sloth ad nauseam
GROSS! gross gross gross gross. Ok, I???ve read about, and seen videos of some pretty disturbing stuff. But as far as first hand experience goes, today takes the cake. The stomach-churning, shake your moral foundations, I-think-I might-pass-out-Is-this-actually-happening-right-now cake. With EXTRA frosting.
He was Levi Fox, a graduate student finishing his masters in English. Levi took the room next to mine for the semester when Tim left us for his DC internship. I didn???t really know him, but he seemed like a nice enough guy. Cheerful, personable, always chilling on the porch with a cigarette, ready to ramble on about politics or religion. He smoked pot constantly, but whatevs.
I use the past tense to describe him here because he moved out just yesterday. Returning to his home state of New Jersey to work as a substitute teacher, and get involved with political campaigns. The fact that he moved out early is no problem. We knew of this ahead of time, and have planned how to cover the extra rent till August.
The problem is with how he left his room.
COMPLETELY FILLED WITH TRASH. LITERALLY! FILLED! There were mountains of it! It???s as though the man didn???t take anything down to the curb, or even use a trashcan, for the entire semester. I???ve never seen anything like it. He had no furniture. Just a bare mattress on the floor (with a dark brown stain from where he slept on it). Other than that, it was just garbage. Garbage up to above your knees.
You could not even move around, let alone see the floor. There was just enough room for him to open the door, step inside, and lay down on his mattress. When he slept, he would have to be careful not to knock over the piles of trash that spilled onto his bed.
What makes the situation even more disturbing is the composition of the trash:
1. Pizza boxes
2. Stacks of graded papers from his classes.
3. Cigarette boxes
4. Dirty clothes
5. Snapple bottles (always peach tea)
6. Wadded up paper towels
It gives you a picture of his life. Every day: grade papers, smoke cigarettes, drink peach Snapple (always peach), get high, maybe order some pizza, collapse in the middle of it all on a dirty mattress. Now I understand why he made such an effort to keep his door closed all the time. How could he live like that? Honestly, I think there's something seriously wrong with this guy.
And he left it all for us to clean up. Knowing well that he would probably never see any of us again. There doesn???t seem to be much we can do about it. We never made him sign a lease because he was only here for a few months. Perhaps a bad choice, but who could have predicted something like this? (For the record, I never wanted anyone living here who???s not on the lease. But, of course, I was out numbered.) He might as we have smeared his feces over the walls, writing a big, ???Fuck you!??? That would not have made things much worse.
Twenty trash bags latter, after four of us worked at it for five hours, the room is clean. His mountains of Snapple bottles are now bagged up on our porch, his soiled mattress in our dumpster. A word to the wise: always check your housemate???s room before he takes off.
You might think I???m overreacting here. I am, after all, the well-organized ???Bert??? according to the sesame street personality test. But, my roommates were at least as repulsed as I. These are the roommates who I regularly complain about, the ones who don???t do their dishes. ???Man, if Levi were here right now, I would punch him in the face,??? said David, the non-violent anti-war activist. I will try to put up some pictures soon so you can recoil in sheer terror. Pregnant women and the elderly be warned.
Now, if I ever accidentally swallow some rat poison, and need to induce vomiting, I know what to think of. Just picture Levi sprawled out on his mattress, lips crusted with artificial peach flavoring, enveloped by pizza boxes.
Some more fun Levi Fox facts:
1. Squirrelmaster, who lives in our basement, claims he never saw Levi come down to do laundry.
2. The four of us who live around his room never saw him take a shower.
3. Prior to his departure, Levi stole a large amount of a certain recreational substance from my housemate???s room.
4. In one of the few conversations I had with him, he spoke at great length about the hotness of freshmen girls in the rhetoric class he taught. A little weird, but ok. Apparently though, this was a regular topic of conversation for him.
Excuse me while I vomit a little in my mouth.
If I see those stupid coors ads again during the playoffs I'm going to throw a heinekin bottle at my tv
then again the chick sitting near the boombox is easy on the eyes