I am Hemol, and I beat all of you losers. Just needed to make sure you know.

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  • Dude runs a successful line of juicing products for star athletes called Hemolroids.

  • Hemolglabotribin

  • i wear a special bracelet to notify that i'm a Hemolphiliac. me ah say BLOODCLOT

  • p_gunnp_gunn 2,284 Posts
    JectWon said:
    speakmumbles said:
    This dude has been crazy


    Goddammit...goodbye productive afternoon.

    Is this the same dude?



    I refuse to believe this is real.

    lol, this guy...

    his interview w/ lil ugly mane was seriously the saddest thing i've read all year...

  • RAJRAJ tenacious local 7,779 Posts

  • JectWonJectWon (@_@) 1,654 Posts
    Oh my Jesus...



    The fucking :21 second mark is classssssique.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts

  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    hemol said:
    And that lead to me writing for Wax Poetics, which also led to me becoming an A&R for Wax Poetics. It's pretty incredible to be working with such an amazing and influential company.

    THIS MONTH WAX POETICS HAS TEAMED UP WITH THE ONE AND ONLY HEMOLD. IT'S KIND OF LIKE WHEN JAMES BROWN AND AFRIKA BAMBAATA GOT TOGETHER: TOO MUCH FUNK. WE JUST KEEP DOIN' IT HOW WE DO IT (EXTRA FUNKY) AND PAY THE HATERS NO MIND. JUST LIKE OUR COVER SUBJECTS GEORGE DUKE AND STANLEY CLARKE WHO SPENT THE SEVENTIES PUSHIN' THE BOUNDARIES OF JAZZ BY EXPERIMENTIN' WITH ECLECTIC ELECTRIC SOUNDS, WE KEEP ON PUSHIN' THE BOUNDARIES OF THIS PUBLISHING GAME. OTHERS FALL BY THE WAYSIDE BUT WE JUST KEEP ON FUNKIN', DOIN' IT TIL WE'RE SATISFIED LIKE THE BT EXPRESS. SO PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR HEMOLD, BABY: THE FUNKIEST WHITE MAN SINCE JOE COCKER. OWW: SO FUNKY!

  • The cypher is complete

  • NateBizzoNateBizzo 2,328 Posts
    This is just a Kaufman-esque ruse to get Faux Rillz out of retirement. You are all taking the bait.

    It's heartwarming regardless of the true intention.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,899 Posts

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,471 Posts

  • WORTH IT TO GET FAUX BACK.



  • I... AM HEMOL!

  • Hemol used to be part of the New Blog Order, who are the illuminati of the tumblr- and blogosphere. He admitted he's part of this secret society. After people on the internet found out about the existence of this group last year, they went deeper undergound and made an even more secret group that Hemol is not part of.

    He claims the New Blog Order got away from the creator's original vision after it got hijacked by people with selfish interests. Some people from VICE magazine / Noisey are involved in this.

  • volumenvolumen 2,532 Posts
    Lol. Vice + Wax Poetics = Things I haven't bothered to read in years.

    Meanwhile, I still check O-Dubs site for updates about once a week.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    batmon said:

    oh ok now I remember who this guy is. from Jonny's expression, I take it it was a listening party?

  • [
    batmon said:
    I dress better than all u cats.

    Debatable. I stay crispy.

  • Sad AND funny! Thanks lol!

    Did it ever occur to you this would have the exact opposite effect when you posted it. Were you expecting people to congratulate and kick themselves cause you're "the man" now?

    Good luck out there buddy.

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    Wax Poetics is still putting out issues? Dang.

    Zach G is cool, though. Homie of my homies. Small world.

    Get Turbo Sonidero a record deal now that you are in high places!

  • bassie said:
    batmon said:

    oh ok now I remember who this guy is. from Jonny's expression, I take it it was a listening party?

    That's at a bar. same night as the Hall & Oates photo


  • kids, don't take pictures at bars.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    :hayek:


  • PLURPLUR 28 Posts
    hemol said:
    I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know you lost. Bad. Faux rillz, Batmon, Noz, Bassie, O Dub, and the rest of the hatters I can't remember, all yall lost. Cause it's 2014 and my work with Mishka from 2010-2012 had a pretty big impact on hip hop. And that lead to me writing for Wax Poetics, which also led to me becoming an A&R for Wax Poetics. It's pretty incredible to be working with such an amazing and influential company.

    All of yall aint shit for the amount of negativity you sent my way. You're just bullies who wouldn't have the balls to do some shit in person. You're a bunch of insecure people who are unhappy and choose to belittle others instead of bettering yourselves. I hope you can all find ways to better yourselves as people and quit focusing on what you don't like about others, because your opinion doesn't even matter in the first place. Cause who are you? A pessimistic record collector on the internet, one of the least empowered people in the sphere of music.

    Andre who started Wax Poetics was telling me how he looked at this site once, and realized immediately that there was nothing worthwhile here for him. To quote my friend and Anticon founder Sole, "Your god is booing you off stage, and your heros don't respect you." Go ahead and marinate on it for a minute, because the guy you were so sure had nothing to do with hip hop clearly knows way more than yall.

    And for all of you so convinced about who I am, yall never knew shit about me. Sure I went to grad school, and got hella deep in it for a minute, but I've also been under police protective custody from Griselda Blanco. 2 degrees of separation between me and the Queen of cocaine. Maybe some of yall touched some grams, or even some kilos, but just recognize, you don't know shit about a person that you don't know. You can characterize me however you want, but that's just you failing to realize how much smaller your worldview and life experiences are.

    Stop being negative to people. stop being bullies. Stop trying to knock someone else down because you're too scared to stand up for what you believe in. Find a way to figure out why you behave like you do. And fix it. Or I promise, you're gonna bawl your eyes out this year watching me.






    OMG GUYYYZ!!!!!!!!!! SoMetiemz u jus need 2 bow down thatz part of wut hiphap BRAEKZ cultur iz all about liek Coolio and Mak 10 sed in there song. This guy werked 4 mishka GUYZ!! We where that shit @ all tha RAVEZ. MISHKA IZ HIPHOP GUYZ AN HIPHOP IZ BREAKZ AN BREAKZ IS HOUR CULTUR. I'm not real so good @ reeding so mosly I look @ tha picturez in wax poetical but THAT SHIT IZ BREAKZ TWO! LIEK THA BIBL OF BREAKZ. So insted of been a H8TER 2 Hemole U shud congradulade and amdier him. I no itz hard 2 acept that he iz mor a part of BREAKZ cultur than u but itz tha truth and every1 nos player hatin iz BAD GUYZ.

  • PLURPLUR 28 Posts
    hemol said:
    I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know you lost. Bad. Faux rillz, Batmon, Noz, Bassie, O Dub, and the rest of the hatters I can't remember, all yall lost. Cause it's 2014 and my work with Mishka from 2010-2012 had a pretty big impact on hip hop. And that lead to me writing for Wax Poetics, which also led to me becoming an A&R for Wax Poetics. It's pretty incredible to be working with such an amazing and influential company.

    All of yall aint shit for the amount of negativity you sent my way. You're just bullies who wouldn't have the balls to do some shit in person. You're a bunch of insecure people who are unhappy and choose to belittle others instead of bettering yourselves. I hope you can all find ways to better yourselves as people and quit focusing on what you don't like about others, because your opinion doesn't even matter in the first place. Cause who are you? A pessimistic record collector on the internet, one of the least empowered people in the sphere of music.

    Andre who started Wax Poetics was telling me how he looked at this site once, and realized immediately that there was nothing worthwhile here for him. To quote my friend and Anticon founder Sole, "Your god is booing you off stage, and your heros don't respect you." Go ahead and marinate on it for a minute, because the guy you were so sure had nothing to do with hip hop clearly knows way more than yall.

    And for all of you so convinced about who I am, yall never knew shit about me. Sure I went to grad school, and got hella deep in it for a minute, but I've also been under police protective custody from Griselda Blanco. 2 degrees of separation between me and the Queen of cocaine. Maybe some of yall touched some grams, or even some kilos, but just recognize, you don't know shit about a person that you don't know. You can characterize me however you want, but that's just you failing to realize how much smaller your worldview and life experiences are.

    Stop being negative to people. stop being bullies. Stop trying to knock someone else down because you're too scared to stand up for what you believe in. Find a way to figure out why you behave like you do. And fix it. Or I promise, you're gonna bawl your eyes out this year watching me.






    OMG GUYYYZ!!!!!!!!!! SoMetiemz u jus need 2 bow down thatz part of wut hiphap BRAEKZ cultur iz all about liek Coolio and Mak 10 sed in there song. This guy werked 4 mishka GUYZ!! We where that shit @ all tha RAVEZ. MISHKA IZ HIPHOP GUYZ AN HIPHOP IZ BREAKZ AN BREAKZ IS HOUR CULTUR. I'm not real so good @ reeding so mosly I look @ tha picturez in wax poetical but THAT SHIT IZ BREAKZ TWO! LIEK THA BIBL OF BREAKZ. So insted of been a H8TER 2 Hemole U shud congradulade and amdier him. I no itz hard 2 acept that he iz mor a part of BREAKZ cultur than u but itz tha truth and every1 nos player hatin iz BAD GUYZ.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    I believe this might be an attempt at the SuperPoster phenomenon. Open season clowning until Jesse Futerman emerged from the SP troll ashes with recordings and a little bit of fame. Then he was everyone's darling around here. Will lighting strike twice on the same board?

  • parallaxparallax no-style-having mf'er 1,266 Posts
    bassie said:
    I believe this might be an attempt at the SuperPoster phenomenon. Open season clowning until Jesse Futerman emerged from the SP troll ashes with recordings and a little bit of fame. Then he was everyone's darling around here. Will lighting strike twice on the same board?

    SP's music is snoozy downtempo. It isn't awful, but not exactly memorable either. Still, I could understand the appeal.

    Hemol, on the other hand, just sucks.

  • JectWon said:





    First of all, who's your A&R?

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,235 Posts


    can someone plaese make a Beaver Trilogy-type movie where James Franco plays Hemol playing the title character in a MC Paul Barman biopic?
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