Body Hair Issues (Dingleberry Related)
Phill_Most
4,594 Posts
Who here has excessive body hair problems? All my overly hirsute mofo's stand up. I'm not real REAL bad with it, but I am a pretty hairy dude. I have a patch of hair on the small of my back that truly disgusts my wife. She's always offering to shave it off for me.I kinda felt for dude in that "40 Year Old Virgin" flick... waxing is out of the question for me, though. Did any of y'all hairy folls ever get like tired of your chest hair and decide to shave it off, then realize "oh shit... my chest is now clean as a baby's ass, but the rest of me is still all beast-like!!!" Then you have to end up shaving your whole damn body unless you don't mind looking like a centaur every time you get naked in front of your woman. And then when it starts to grow back... oh, the itching!!!And then there's the whole "dingleberry" problem, which I guess only occurs with those who have excessive bootyhole hair (I don't need to explain what dingleberries are to anybody, do I?). I suppose you can take care of the situation by trimming those hairs, but what kind of a muthafucka is gonna put those damn clippers between their ass cheeks to get the job done? I will do anything for love, but I won't do that. SPEAK ON THIS SHIT, HAIRY BATCHES!!!
Comments
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Allright, I will break it down.
Im a hairy dude. NOt so much on my head cause im balding. Chest hair i got a quite a bit, no back hair though. Below the waist is a different story.
I already trim the mane of pubic hair for 2 reasons: 1: comfort, feels soo much better man. 2: MAKES THE COCK LOOK BIGGER! I am just a touch bigger than average size already (not much, just a touch mnd you). But trim that shit and the cock looks enormous.
Since i shaved that shit I felt better, next up trimming that ass hair. Why do this you ask. Well, sometimes I get that dingleberry problem. I wipe till I think it is gone or taken care of. 99% of the time, lo and behold, my ass is itching and uncomforable 20 minutes later. Damn. That shit was sneaky. Really hiding in them hairs. If im at home I can hit it with a washcloth and some warm water, problem sovled. Not at work or if im running to a meeting.Sitting in a meeting with the director of a hospital using his chair to itch my ass. FUck that.
I took the clippers to it mang.Not fun. But gets the job done. HOwever, there is one problem.
FARTING. My usual "silent farts" are harder to keep silent. Them farts SQUEEK! and Sneak out when I think I have them under control. That extra hair is good to muffle the sound. That is only for the first couple days, then you adjust.
yeah, i get em. and its funny cuz im asian and for the most part my peoples are pretty hairless. i mean, we're not known to be some hairy mufukers like italians or armenians or something. i have a ridiculous tuft of hair on my chest. it's like 8 long ass stringy joints and i look like a cancer patient or something. same with my man beard. its all patchwork and shit and doesnt fully grow in and i get long wirey shits growing out my cheeks. and my hairline is receding but something tells me youre gonna make a thread about this too? unless your meds kick in.
but yeah, i miss not working with kids cuz the small ones always keep your physical in check. like when sally is all like "mr. shig, you got hairs coming out your nose" then i know its time to get up in my head with some scissors. luckily im surrounded by the fashion conscious [ie, my gay peeps] and was informed yesterday that "girl, you need to trim your nose hair".
NO SCISSORS BELOW THE BELT.
Way too much to read and talk about.
I have that lower back patch of hair, too. I take electric clippers to that once a month or so and it solves the problem. Same with the butthole hairs. It's a rough job, but you'll have butt wipes so clean you'll thank yourself for sucking it up trimming them.
Side note: My old roomate used to trim his facial hair with the same clippers.
HEY - HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT HE'S WAS USING MY SHIT W/O ASKING FIRST??!!
That's what you get, S*an.
Oh yeah, who's the dude that cut his balls in the shower?
Word. I've hardly had any work to do in my office for the last two or three weeks. Slow season over here. Not much to do so I'm on Soulstrut like 8 hours a day. actually been thinking of finding another job that pays better.
Let me put it like this...My hair (dreads) is connected to my neck hair which connects to my back hair which connects to my upper ass hair...and so on and so on. When I grow my beard out i look like a ewok. I let my wife nair me down one time, but that shit grew back like a fucking jungle. So fuck it I just go all natural now. After I shower I blow dry my back son.
Think about how big that shit will be when you're old.
Old skin with a bunny ball tail at the back.
No thank you!
electric clipper to the butthole?!
Is this what girls in porn use?
YESSSSSSS!!!! These, and Tucks, are an asshole's best friend.
When I remodel the main bathroom at my crib I'm thinking about getting one of those bowls with that water that sprays your ass when you take a dump... I forget what they call those things. So fresh and so clean, it's important for people with hairy arses.
I call them cling-on's (klingons)
i meant butt crumbs. i'm not even too sure what a butt brumb would be. sounds like those dirty sanchez/rusty trombone things.
you guys heard about the gas mask? place balls on the eyes and fart in the mouth.
just some man shit. no intent to offend anyone.
Dude, if i smoked a quarter I wouldn't be seriously into other planes of there. I mean, whoah, that's a lot of pot to burn in one sitting. I can just imagine my crying lungs.
It's called a bidet (pronounced "bee-day")
They're great. Makes every dump an "angel" dump (no poop on the tissue!)