Wyclef Jean bears his corny ass soul and blabs like a true blowhard

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  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,471 Posts
    pickwick33 said:
    I don't think he sat down at the laptop and actually wrote these tangled thoughts.

    It's an excerpt from his book.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    rootlesscosmo said:
    HarveyCanal said:
    he's an amazing artist

    no.

    It's really not disputable. You can dislike the Fugees and all their covers and dislike Wyclef for being an egomaniacal assjack, but dude has made some amazing Haitian-related music over the years, including what's in that clip I posted.

    I remember seeing him with the Fugees on that Smokin' Grooves tour with Nas, Gang Starr, Busta Rhymes, Cypress Hill, etc. and believe it or not, Wyclef's guitar playing was by far the best thing on that stage that day, that is until Ziggy Marley came out and blew everyone else away.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    pickwick33 said:
    Honestly, I think this was more of an "as told to" affair. I don't think he sat down at the laptop and actually wrote these tangled thoughts.

    I think a story editor/ghost writer would have picked up a few things.
    It's a minor point, but his age and Claudinette was confusing.
    He says:

    "I met Claudinette when I was about nineteen, and she is a few years older than me. She was fly, she was established, she was modeling in New York, and just so she wouldn???t pass me by, I tricked her and lied about my age. I said I was twenty-two or something, so she???d go out with me."

    And then next paragraph he says:

    "Claudinette to me was like Wonder Woman: she was modeling and making money and I didn???t have a penny. When I lied to her and told her I was nineteen, she didn???t believe me. Not for a second. She knew I was a kid but she didn???t care. She was smart and going to school and I had barely graduated high school."

    By the way - what was the age difference between him and Hill?

    I remember the day things changed, and it was my fault. I slipped up. We were talking about some music stuff and I couldn???t hold back any longer.

    ???You know, you kinda attractive,??? I said. ???You know, you a pretty smart girl.???

    ???Stop it, my brother,??? she said.

    ???Nah, nah, I???m serious. You a hottie.???


    CRINGE.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Jean, Claudinette van Cotdamn

  • pickwick33 said:
    Honestly, I think this was more of an "as told to" affair. I don't think he sat down at the laptop and actually wrote these tangled thoughts.

    I think a story editor/ghost writer would have picked up a few things.
    It's a minor point, but his age and Claudinette was confusing.
    He says:

    "I met Claudinette when I was about nineteen, and she is a few years older than me. She was fly, she was established, she was modeling in New York, and just so she wouldn???t pass me by, I tricked her and lied about my age. I said I was twenty-two or something, so she???d go out with me."

    Okay. NOW I see the awkward writing style.

    As a journo myself, I know the difference between speaking with a "voice" vs. just flat not knowing how to write. The syntax of that first sentence (the one that begins "I met Claudinette") was pretty amateurish.

    And then next paragraph he says:

    "Claudinette to me was like Wonder Woman: she was modeling and making money and I didn???t have a penny. When I lied to her and told her I was nineteen, she didn???t believe me. Not for a second. She knew I was a kid but she didn???t care. She was smart and going to school and I had barely graduated high school."

    Filling in the blanks, I'm thinking that he strung her along about his age. When she learned the truth, then she didn't believe him. That still doesn't excuse his poor phrasing.

    It'd be funny if "Claudinette" was merely a misspelled "Claudette."

  • jamesjames chicago 1,863 Posts
    pickwick33 said:
    Okay. NOW I see the awkward writing style.

    As a journo myself, I know the difference between speaking with a "voice" vs. just flat not knowing how to write. The syntax of that first sentence (the one that begins "I met Claudinette") was pretty amateurish.
    See, it struck me from the very beginning as something dude wrote himself; its fussy, self-satisfied tone is pretty clearly that of something written by someone who is in love with their own writing voice and/or is expecting extra credit for the fact that they're actually putting pen to cot-damn paper. It seems very much in keeping with dude's exceedingly gassed character. A hundred bucks says that this motherfucker has a quill pen somewhere in his home.

    (p.s.: Your man Rudy Day and I used to talk about this kind of stuff, including but not limited to how his dude Stephen King went downhill once he had enough money to start dictating his shit instead of typing it out his damn self.)

  • so the 'strut doesn't ride for The Score? can't really recall it being discussed here.

  • thrope said:
    so the 'strut doesn't ride for The Score? can't really recall it being discussed here.

    Wouldn't it be awesome if that were #1 of the Soul Strut 100?

  • Herm said:
    thrope said:
    so the 'strut doesn't ride for The Score? can't really recall it being discussed here.

    Wouldn't it be awesome if that were #1 of the Soul Strut 100?

    some funny discussions of the Score in here:

    http://www.soulstrut.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/43990/P0/

    http://www.soulstrut.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/40308/P0/

    both of those threads incidentally contain back-and-forths between Harvey and me on the Fugees' merits.

    ahhhh, plus ca change....

  • Haters gonna hate! Funny how all you guys straight up dis my book and my words just cause you jealous and wanna be Wyclef Jean. I'm rich bitches. Probably got some of yo money in the mid 90's up till today. Haha you fuckin worked at ya menial labor job get paid by the hour jus to buy my fuckin cd!

    No that shit is not ghostwritten / edited; that shit came straight from my heart that's why it's got y'all so riled up. Cause whether you like it or not you know that shit is real. You can't fake that shit. It's from my soul just like my music. Now I'm not a professional writer, shit, all my talent got lopped onto music and good-looks. I mean an artist is an artist is an artist. Whatever genre; someone with any artistic talent can at least get by. I mean writing, being an author, that requires artistic talent. Like I said most of mine gets used up in music. Shit I can't do EVERYTHING AWESOME. That's just not humanely possible. And no I don't think I'm God, Mr Soul Zilla. Shit, God Blessed Me, not the other way around. And who do you think you are to come at me with that ignorant of history shit. Everybody knows that the Germans killed Jews not blacks. So yeah that shit surprised me over there. I mean the Civil Rights Movement was in America dumbass. Lincoln emancipated the slaves not Napoleon. I mean really that some weak shit. Slavery only existed early in founding of America. Racism is localized in NA, shit why you even gonna try a brother on that shit. We should fuckin no.

    I wrote my book on my yacht in the summer of 2010, cruising the Carribean. Wrote that shit straight out with little editing or reworking. Guys like me can do shit like that. Jus cause you cain't don't mean you could come on hear hatin a motherf. Tell you what, you sell millions of albums, you become world famous, you sleep with the hottest hotties, you write an autobiography, then you are free to criticize me. Shit i'm bout to get in my Lamborghini and eat at a five star restaurant. My bill will probably be more than you make in a MONTH, bitches. HaHa go me!! But really, you no i earned that bread i mean i'm motherfuckin Wyclef Jean. Harvey_Canal now that's my bitch, man knows what's up. Playas know playas when they here 'em.

    Oh yeah, that Diamond D shit was not shady. It just goes to show how smart I am. You play chekcers mf I play chess. That's what got me where i am. Thinkin ahead and selllin out. Hate if you want but I'm rich bitch. And your girlfriend probably bought my cd's. Haha I got yo money and your bitch's. Bitch.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    Tacky.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    Not sure why someone would want to hate on Haitians.

    Here are a few Haitians worth modeling a role after who are not WJ:
    Gesner Abelard
    Rudy Doliscat
    Olden Polynice
    Samuel Dalembert
    Vladimir Ducasse
    Edwidge Danticat
    Frank??tienne
    Dany Laferri??re
    Mathias Pierre
    Dumarsais Simeus
    Henri Ford
    Garcelle Beauvais
    Jimmy Jean-Louis
    Luck Mervil
    Jean-Bertrand Aristide
    Phillip Brutus
    Michel Martelly

    Martelly is an example of a politician and musician who is more important to Haitians than WJ is.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    :hayek:

  • Odub saying he thinks the carnival is better than the score is blowing my mind right now. does not compute. wouldn't anything you found corny about the score be that much more prevalent on the wyclef solo? remaking staying alive is better than remaking killing me softly i guess? ??

  • bassie said:
    Tacky.

    Actually it's pretty funny, whoever it is.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    Horseleech said:
    bassie said:
    Tacky.

    Actually it's pretty funny, whoever it is.

    If it's not him, it's so well done, pitch perfect!

    If so - dude is a bigger oaf than I could have imagined! From what I read off Salon, I think it actually fits his character to roam the interwebs looking for people's reaction to his book.

  • Wyclef Jean said:
    Haters gonna hate! Funny how all you guys straight up dis my book and my words just cause you jealous and wanna be Wyclef Jean. I'm rich bitches. Probably got some of yo money in the mid 90's up till today. Haha you fuckin worked at ya menial labor job get paid by the hour jus to buy my fuckin cd!

    No that shit is not ghostwritten / edited; that shit came straight from my heart that's why it's got y'all so riled up. Cause whether you like it or not you know that shit is real. You can't fake that shit. It's from my soul just like my music. Now I'm not a professional writer, shit, all my talent got lopped onto music and good-looks. I mean an artist is an artist is an artist. Whatever genre; someone with any artistic talent can at least get by. I mean writing, being an author, that requires artistic talent. Like I said most of mine gets used up in music. Shit I can't do EVERYTHING AWESOME. That's just not humanely possible. And no I don't think I'm God, Mr Soul Zilla. Shit, God Blessed Me, not the other way around. And who do you think you are to come at me with that ignorant of history shit. Everybody knows that the Germans killed Jews not blacks. So yeah that shit surprised me over there. I mean the Civil Rights Movement was in America dumbass. Lincoln emancipated the slaves not Napoleon. I mean really that some weak shit. Slavery only existed early in founding of America. Racism is localized in NA, shit why you even gonna try a brother on that shit. We should fuckin no.

    I wrote my book on my yacht in the summer of 2010, cruising the Carribean. Wrote that shit straight out with little editing or reworking. Guys like me can do shit like that. Jus cause you cain't don't mean you could come on hear hatin a motherf. Tell you what, you sell millions of albums, you become world famous, you sleep with the hottest hotties, you write an autobiography, then you are free to criticize me. Shit i'm bout to get in my Lamborghini and eat at a five star restaurant. My bill will probably be more than you make in a MONTH, bitches. HaHa go me!! But really, you no i earned that bread i mean i'm motherfuckin Wyclef Jean. Harvey_Canal now that's my bitch, man knows what's up. Playas know playas when they here 'em.

    Oh yeah, that Diamond D shit was not shady. It just goes to show how smart I am. You play chekcers mf I play chess. That's what got me where i am. Thinkin ahead and selllin out. Hate if you want but I'm rich bitch. And your girlfriend probably bought my cd's. Haha I got yo money and your bitch's. Bitch.

    YO it's your boy Kanye Motherfuckin' West!!!!! Long time lurker, and against my agent/manager's advice, I had to jump on here and put the record straight. My man Wyclef, respect though, but you know the score (pun intended), whenever the words hip hop and transform come up in a thread or anywhere else on the internet I get an alert text and email from a company I pay handsomely to monitor that shit. That's why I'm here cause let's be honest I singlehandedly transformed Hip Hop to what it is today. That's just a fact.

    I didn't invent Hip Hop, of course, but you best believe if I was born in NY and was in my late teens in the mid 70's then it would have been DJ West not DJ Kool Herc and Bambaata. But of course hip hop didn't really hit the mainstream and become the global juggernaut until Jay-z's The Blueprint came out. That record, produced by me, really set the stage for the coming explosion and dominance of Hip Hop. Then it really took flight with the release of my first solo record in 2004. College Dropout. Did I mention that I'm a genius. I mean you all already know that but sometimes it's good to refresh cats memories. See I dropped out of college because it was so boring cause I already knew all that shit. But then I thought I would turn it around on yall and make a platinum paradigm-shifting-record and then be ironic and name it College Dropout. Not only am I a genius but I have a sense of humor too.

    I have to agree though with Wyclef about that racism thing outside of the US. Who would have thought? Man i've had concerts all over the globe and sometimes you get booked in a club that caters to skinheads. Like it's so crazy that the rest of the world likes hip hop but supports racism. It just doesn't fit. But then I got it, cause i'm a genius, the US invented hip hop and the US invented racism and slavery, so it makes sense that the 'others' (what I call non-Americans) would embrace both at the same time. Kinda like cultural emulation. Shit somebody write that down. I think a book is in order on a subject I just invented. You know it really ain't fair and all. Geniuses are rare, this I know.

    With all this in mind, and hey please don't pm with autograph requests and other shit I'm too busy, I've noticed that yall get excited when 'knowledge is dropped' so in keeping with that I'm gonna let the SS community in on a little known fact. Jesus was BLACK! Yes! I said it. Jesus was black. And I am Jesus. See I'm not God, the father, but I am the son. Brought back to earth to save Hip Hop and / or humanity. I chose Hip Hop obviously, humanity is fucked. Please please don't be lighting up the news sites and TMZ and shit about what I jus dropped. All will know in due time. Read Revelations in my bible. See I'm here to save us from bad music. Cause im a genius.
    Shit I gots to go, but keep you head up Wyclef, haters will hate no doubt, but we are this generations Jesus and Moses is all I'm sayin. Ya think everybody believed them at the time. Shit some things just have to be felt and looked back on with the passage of time till everybody realizes the Genius that is me and how great The Score was/is while you bangin Lauryn Hill while ya wife is payin the bills. True PLayaz, Holler Harvey_Canal!!! You know Hip Hop, Drop that knowledge son!!!

  • RockadelicRockadelic Out Digging 13,993 Posts
    Thelma Kayak

  • Can you imagine reading the entire book just that excerpt was torturous.
    I'm going to give The Score a listen when I get a chance, apart from "no woman no cry" and "killing me softly" I have really fond memories of that album, those two songs just sound out of place to me, the rest of the album I really like(ed).

  • bassie said:
    Horseleech said:
    bassie said:
    Tacky.

    Actually it's pretty funny, whoever it is.

    If it's not him, it's so well done, pitch perfect!

    If so - dude is a bigger oaf than I could have imagined! From what I read off Salon, I think it actually fits his character to roam the interwebs looking for people's reaction to his book.

    What do you mean tacky? Is it tacky to defend your soul? Yeah Im gonna defend what I wrote from a bunch of haters. You know what's tacky? Ya Avatar. Is that Mariah Carey holding a puppy with a Santa Claus hat on? Yeah I made her come. Didn't know that did ya? How ironic that a girl that chooses to call me tacky, actually chooses as her avatar a famous pop singer that I bedded years ago. You better look as good as her, cause I never step down and I know ya gonna pm me with specifics cause you want me. Sometimes I will fulfill wishes ya never know but you best be sweet from now on. Cause I may forgive but I never forget.

    One Love,
    Wyclef

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Can we now have hologram Tupac put in a guest appearance?

    Kthxbah

  • This thread has potential.

    Clef, true or false:

    Salaam Remi got mad at you once for calling him Salami.

  • True or false:

    In 1999, you were at the production phase of launching Wyclef Jeans when a tragic fire at a denim factory brought everything to a halt.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,471 Posts
    Controller_7 said:
    True or false:

    In 1999, you were at the production phase of launching Wyclef Jeans when a tragic fire at a denim factory brought everything to a halt.

    I heard he claimed that he's the third clef. Treble clef, bass clef, Wyclef.

  • Controller_7 said:
    This thread has potential.

    Clef, true or false:

    Salaam Remi got mad at you once for calling him Salami.

    You Know that shit is TRUE SON!!!. How the fuck do you know that? But really it was going to happen I mean ya know I love them cold-cuts son, salami, pepperoni, and capocollo, shit I'm from Haiti but my stomach lies in Italy. Besides as I told him it was a term of endearment. Like bitch.

  • Controller_7 said:
    True or false:

    In 1999, you were at the production phase of launching Wyclef Jeans when a tragic fire at a denim factory brought everything to a halt.

    False. I was to busy gettin laid by super hot celebrity women that wouldn't give you the time of day to think about launching my own clothing line. If my name somehow appeared on some jeans then somebody owes me money, I got my lawyer on the phone right now, thanks for the heads-up!

  • DJ_Enki said:
    Controller_7 said:
    True or false:

    In 1999, you were at the production phase of launching Wyclef Jeans when a tragic fire at a denim factory brought everything to a halt.

    I heard he claimed that he's the third clef. Treble clef, bass clef, Wyclef.

    Fuckin False!!!! Motherfucker I was/am the first Clef. Motherfuckin Wyclef. Shit who the fuck are you? Wait I think that after one of my shows I went to a bar for a drink and you were the DJ. Yeah I remember that name Enki. The cover was 5 dollars. Shit I think I paid your wage. What a shitty night that was. The clefs were named after me. I mean I made music better, but shit was in prophesy so long that some kinda clef had to be around just to place-hold until my arrival. Settled.

    One Love,
    Wyclef

  • True or false:

    Shakira's hips don't lie.

  • True or false:

    You emailed Tom Colicchio about being on Top Chef as a guest judge and used the words "refined Clef palate."

  • Controller_7 said:
    True or false:

    Shakira's hips don't lie.

    True dat. Them hips don't lie. What you see is just what you might get and then some. I mean damn!
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