I am getting married in two and one half months. I am DJing - for at least a few songs - at my wedding. Who else will play my copies of the Black Conspirators and Disciples of Soul?
And you'd better believe that my suit is well tailored.
To the progenitor of this thread: you don't have to wear a suit, I suppose, but you'd damn well better know your measurements. A man knows his sizing. Additionally, and I'm not attempting to irk, but good luck on job interviews.
P.S.: You worked in menswear? That's like me working in a church rectory. Ahem.
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding last weekend. As much as this is "supposed" to be a momentous occasion, you'll more likely than not spend more time being stressed than happy. I'm going to go ahead and be the prude and mention all the "obligations." You're inviting plenty of folks who will be buying you blenders and dish sets; at least put on a good show and dress the part. Wifey and the bridesmaids will be infinitely more uncomfortable than you. She'll be strapped in, locked and loaded. The ladies will be sucking in their bellies in photos. She'll be praying the garter doesn't slip and that her heels don't give her blisters. You will be very comfortable in comparison.
As a bridesmaid, I went through a month of helping pick out dresses, only to wind up with a dress that was not any of the bridesmaids' top choice. After $100+ in alterations (it was too big), the off-the-shoulder number didn't look too bad, but I still tripped in it, had to wear special undies to make sure I looked smooth as satin and after 12 hours, the strapless bra left some serious impressions which are still there on my skin. I had a blemish on my face that I had to cake makeup on just so it didn't show up in photos. I spent an hour getting my hair did. I was freezing and sucking back snot because, believe it or not, the dress didn't have pockets for Kleenex.
Downstroke, it's a wedding. You're already conforming by validating your partnership through some antiquated ritual. You probably already spent a fortune on a ring that, somewhere down the line, will get washed down the drain or something. Just suck it up (or in), just as the girls will be doing.
You can always opt to remove the tie and put on a pair of comfortable kicks for the reception. Just don't wear anything too trendy; you don't want your living room wedding photos to remind you of some past fashion faux pas.
Yeah, thanks for all the replies, even the "man up and get a suit" type.
As things stand, I'm considering the linen route, nice and light, but not too casual. This whole thing is happening at a pretty rapid pace, the original plan was we would tie the knot next year (finance related) but my girl got the ball rolling and then realised there's no real reason we can't pull this off this year. This obviously puts a bit of pressure on me, but tbh I'm thinking sooner rather than later so we don't lose that momentum. As I've already explained, my girl is cool with the whole 'no suit' thing, I mean, we were never going to do the traditional church thing because that would pretty hypocritical for both of us. I just don't want us to look like a mis-matched pair because she's obviously putting in quite a bit of effort to look her best on the day.
As far as DJing at the party, I'm not planning on disappearing behind the decks for half the night, I just might get on at the right moment and play a few sure shots that me and my peeps will relate to. The dude I've got is more than capable of holding things down on his own. We're keeping distant relatives to a minimum so hopefully there won't be too many complaints that there's not going to be any typical party cheese tracks played.
we only had 2 months to plan for our wedding. It went very well...even had a huge paper moon for people to sit on and have pics made (each guest had their pic taken on the moon and we included a copy of that photo in their thank you note). We had family and 6 friends each...about 35 people total...had it at a friends house who has a huge, beautiful 100 year old house. No DJ, but I personally selected every song for the night. Even had some CDs of 50s and 60s R&B songs we dig professionally made to give the guests. A couple people told me it was the best wedding they had been to, much better than "going to a church, then sitting in some rented hall with 100 other people." Big weddings are kind of waste of money...If you invite a 100+ people, you cant even say hello to all of them...it would take 2 hours to just say hi and chat for a minute with every guest, kinda stupid.
I'd advise against a linen suit. Stuff wrinkles like crazy and you're going to wind up looking like you slept in it the night before.
Don't reinvent the wheel - get a normal dark suit, have it tailored and pressed. This isn't rocket surgery and isn't really where you should be mr. nonconformist self-expression deep thinker-dude. Nobody cares. Weddings are for the wives/ girlfriends/ moms/ grandmothers, just smile, look decent and stay out of the way.
Being the audio engineer at my church, I've ran sound for about 20-some weddings and have seen just about every kind of fashion choices for weddings. The most popular ones are of course the tailored or rented-out suit for that "one day only," but I've also seen dashiki suits that are actually impressive. Very simple in design and appropriate. The Oromo-speaking Ethiopians mixed the classic look of a suit with a bit of their own cultural fashion. There are a variety of options to choose from where you can step out of the box but still show respect to it.
As for what you choose to wear at your wedding, you want to look back and reminisce on the moment you exchanged your vows with the woman you loved, not look back in embarrassment of what you chose to wear that day. So use discernment when making your decision, but at the same time remember that this event is for you as well. I wish you and your soon-to-be wife well.
id say hang up your hang ups to make everyone in your family happy...have a bunch of drinks, lose the tie and cut the rug on the dance floor in the tshirt you have underneath. show your people that you can compromise and arent a stubborn pain in the ass
Weddings are for the wives/ girlfriends/ moms/ grandmothers, just smile, look decent and stay out of the way.
That's what I'm talking about.
This is some total bullshit like WOAH.
This isn't your mom's wedding, her grandma's wedding, etc. I'm a firm believer that your wedding can 1) be one of the best, most important days of your life, and 2) should reflect your relationship, and what you want your marriage to be. While I think the no-suit thing is ridiculous, if that's how you roll, I totally see how wearing one on THAT day would feel wrong.
Do you, keep it personal, and have fun. This is about you and your wife, your friends & family, and the life you are all going to build together. Be respectful, but be true to yourself & your relationship, and you'll be fine- for that day & years to come.
Oh, and when people asked us our dress-code it was: no jeans, no tuxes. One dude showed up barefoot, and one wore jeans & a blazer with tie- so, we got the range we wanted. People looked great.
And, I played a 45 set that was a real highlight, and friends and fam still talk about it. Lot of bullshit generalizations in this thread.
That's nice that you had a party for you, and your family and friends enjoyed it too.
My inlaws had a party for us, and we it too. A lot.
It was a great day, but the 8,760 days since have been a lot more important. [Anniversary is May 31st].
The one part of the wedding that no one, except my wife and I, had a part in was the ceremony and the vows. We wrote that part ourselves. But we included our family and friends. Instead of asking if anyone had an objection, we asked if anyone wanted to add anything. We had told our parents and a few others that we would do that. So my inlaws got their Bible verse, and my dad read a Navajo blessing, and another friend read a poem about 17 year locust who had come out for the event.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
Once wore Beavis jean shorts and a tacky Hawaiian shirt to an outdoor wedding and then drunkenly cried over a lost girlfriend who was in attendence at the reception. Yep, that's how I roll.
Comments
this goes way beyond the "hatchin', matchin' and dispatchin'" rules of formal attire.
Since Cleaver was an admitted rapist, that's some sick shit.
But yeah, I laughed. Is that why I wasn't raptured?
I am getting married in two and one half months. I am DJing - for at least a few songs - at my wedding. Who else will play my copies of the Black Conspirators and Disciples of Soul?
To the progenitor of this thread: you don't have to wear a suit, I suppose, but you'd damn well better know your measurements. A man knows his sizing. Additionally, and I'm not attempting to irk, but good luck on job interviews.
P.S.: You worked in menswear? That's like me working in a church rectory. Ahem.
As a bridesmaid, I went through a month of helping pick out dresses, only to wind up with a dress that was not any of the bridesmaids' top choice. After $100+ in alterations (it was too big), the off-the-shoulder number didn't look too bad, but I still tripped in it, had to wear special undies to make sure I looked smooth as satin and after 12 hours, the strapless bra left some serious impressions which are still there on my skin. I had a blemish on my face that I had to cake makeup on just so it didn't show up in photos. I spent an hour getting my hair did. I was freezing and sucking back snot because, believe it or not, the dress didn't have pockets for Kleenex.
Downstroke, it's a wedding. You're already conforming by validating your partnership through some antiquated ritual. You probably already spent a fortune on a ring that, somewhere down the line, will get washed down the drain or something. Just suck it up (or in), just as the girls will be doing.
You can always opt to remove the tie and put on a pair of comfortable kicks for the reception. Just don't wear anything too trendy; you don't want your living room wedding photos to remind you of some past fashion faux pas.
Welcome to the Strut, Downstroke.
As things stand, I'm considering the linen route, nice and light, but not too casual. This whole thing is happening at a pretty rapid pace, the original plan was we would tie the knot next year (finance related) but my girl got the ball rolling and then realised there's no real reason we can't pull this off this year. This obviously puts a bit of pressure on me, but tbh I'm thinking sooner rather than later so we don't lose that momentum. As I've already explained, my girl is cool with the whole 'no suit' thing, I mean, we were never going to do the traditional church thing because that would pretty hypocritical for both of us. I just don't want us to look like a mis-matched pair because she's obviously putting in quite a bit of effort to look her best on the day.
As far as DJing at the party, I'm not planning on disappearing behind the decks for half the night, I just might get on at the right moment and play a few sure shots that me and my peeps will relate to. The dude I've got is more than capable of holding things down on his own. We're keeping distant relatives to a minimum so hopefully there won't be too many complaints that there's not going to be any typical party cheese tracks played.
FWIW I wore a suit.
$300
Don't reinvent the wheel - get a normal dark suit, have it tailored and pressed. This isn't rocket surgery and isn't really where you should be mr. nonconformist self-expression deep thinker-dude. Nobody cares. Weddings are for the wives/ girlfriends/ moms/ grandmothers, just smile, look decent and stay out of the way.
That's what I'm talking about.
As for what you choose to wear at your wedding, you want to look back and reminisce on the moment you exchanged your vows with the woman you loved, not look back in embarrassment of what you chose to wear that day. So use discernment when making your decision, but at the same time remember that this event is for you as well. I wish you and your soon-to-be wife well.
+ 1
This is some total bullshit like WOAH.
This isn't your mom's wedding, her grandma's wedding, etc. I'm a firm believer that your wedding can 1) be one of the best, most important days of your life, and 2) should reflect your relationship, and what you want your marriage to be. While I think the no-suit thing is ridiculous, if that's how you roll, I totally see how wearing one on THAT day would feel wrong.
Do you, keep it personal, and have fun. This is about you and your wife, your friends & family, and the life you are all going to build together. Be respectful, but be true to yourself & your relationship, and you'll be fine- for that day & years to come.
Oh, and when people asked us our dress-code it was: no jeans, no tuxes. One dude showed up barefoot, and one wore jeans & a blazer with tie- so, we got the range we wanted. People looked great.
And, I played a 45 set that was a real highlight, and friends and fam still talk about it. Lot of bullshit generalizations in this thread.
My inlaws had a party for us, and we it too. A lot.
It was a great day, but the 8,760 days since have been a lot more important. [Anniversary is May 31st].
The one part of the wedding that no one, except my wife and I, had a part in was the ceremony and the vows. We wrote that part ourselves. But we included our family and friends. Instead of asking if anyone had an objection, we asked if anyone wanted to add anything. We had told our parents and a few others that we would do that. So my inlaws got their Bible verse, and my dad read a Navajo blessing, and another friend read a poem about 17 year locust who had come out for the event.
Unless you're wearing a kilt of course.