Wedding attire strut
Downstroke
81 Posts
I'm a long time lurker here, finally got the stones to post something. I've really enjoyed a lot of the discussions that go on here, and I especially appreciate the creative approach many on here apply to your contributions, which leads me to my dilemma.
I'm getting married in a few months time, (no problem about the getting married part, in fact it's long overdue), my issue is what the fux to wear. Basically i don't, repeat DON'T do suits! I've never worn one, and long ago vowed to go my entire natural life never having to. This was explained to my fiance long ago and she's cool with it, but she's gone out and bought her dress, and I don't want to turn up on the day looking like something the cat's dragged in.
Throughout my life, I've always resented the common perception that classic shirt/tie/jacket combo = sophistication, in fact on the few occasions I've had to put a tie on I've felt my brain is instantly staved of oxygen and I can't get that noose off quick enough. Years ago I worked in menswear, and hated having to wear a tie everyday, and I constantly refused the generous staff discounts to purchase a suit of my own. Nowadays I work in the creative industry and I've always been able to dress casually at work, and this being changed would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. The bottom line is I don't want to spend what is supposed to be one of the single most defining days of my life compromised by others expectations of me and spending the day feeling like an imposter in fancy dress.
I've got no problem donning some ironed slacks, polished shoes and a shirt, but every person who hears this intention raises their eyebrows like I was intending to break every taboo of civilised society. I can't believe I'm constantly bombarded with comments like, "you HAVE to wear a suit on your wedding day, that's how it is!" I can't believe, what with the infinite possibilities out there that in 2011, there are no other viable alternatives for bridegroom's attire unless you're planning on doing something really douchey like a Vulcan ceremony.
Please Strut, any pointers on how I can pull this off with dignity will be considered. Obviously I wan't my wife to be to be happy, but equally I know having to compromise on this issue will forever taint what is supposed to be happiest day of our lives, and neither of us want that.
I'm getting married in a few months time, (no problem about the getting married part, in fact it's long overdue), my issue is what the fux to wear. Basically i don't, repeat DON'T do suits! I've never worn one, and long ago vowed to go my entire natural life never having to. This was explained to my fiance long ago and she's cool with it, but she's gone out and bought her dress, and I don't want to turn up on the day looking like something the cat's dragged in.
Throughout my life, I've always resented the common perception that classic shirt/tie/jacket combo = sophistication, in fact on the few occasions I've had to put a tie on I've felt my brain is instantly staved of oxygen and I can't get that noose off quick enough. Years ago I worked in menswear, and hated having to wear a tie everyday, and I constantly refused the generous staff discounts to purchase a suit of my own. Nowadays I work in the creative industry and I've always been able to dress casually at work, and this being changed would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. The bottom line is I don't want to spend what is supposed to be one of the single most defining days of my life compromised by others expectations of me and spending the day feeling like an imposter in fancy dress.
I've got no problem donning some ironed slacks, polished shoes and a shirt, but every person who hears this intention raises their eyebrows like I was intending to break every taboo of civilised society. I can't believe I'm constantly bombarded with comments like, "you HAVE to wear a suit on your wedding day, that's how it is!" I can't believe, what with the infinite possibilities out there that in 2011, there are no other viable alternatives for bridegroom's attire unless you're planning on doing something really douchey like a Vulcan ceremony.
Please Strut, any pointers on how I can pull this off with dignity will be considered. Obviously I wan't my wife to be to be happy, but equally I know having to compromise on this issue will forever taint what is supposed to be happiest day of our lives, and neither of us want that.
Comments
I didn't wear a suit to my wedding. Nor did any of our guests. We've had a fantastic day with my wife's parents as the only relatives and a handful of close friends. A great and memorable day but very far from being a conventional wedding. Dress to the occasion. If this makes you feel uncomfortable than adjust the whole event so it's a non-suit affair. If this creates problems with the wife to be then don't get married, you're not ready yet.
Now who are your favorite artists and what's some of your favorite records?
Luckily my wife to be is completely understanding and we've both agreed that this doesn't have to comply with any conventional expectations, the in-laws know me well enough to not take any offense either. I know it's a bit of a strange first post, but I've been looking for a reason to get on board here and this question seemed pertinent enough and I always enjoy this board's opinions.
The reception should be a blast though, there's a real cross section of backgrounds of people coming and that will be fully embraced with the food etc, and I'm sorting out a DJ I can trust for the party. No doubt I'll spin a few as well.
Then you're golden. Just make sure the other guests are also aware of this so nobody goes out of their way (and out of pocket) to rent a tux or buy a suit just to end up feeling uncomfortable and overdressed. Wear something nice though, maybe take your wife to be on a shopping spree and get some stuff that will look great together.
Shit would be weird if everyone did the regular wedding steez and u show up in a tuxedo t-shirt, dockers, and raybans.
So, dress as nice as you can, and enjoy yourself.
Do not do this.
Ill-fitting rental tux = worst look ever
Jcrew mens is kind of killing it right now for price/style
I'm sayin'! It is your WEDDING. You should go buy a nice suit then find a good tailor and get it altered to fit right. I suggest a Canali suit, shirt and tie with Gucci or Ferragamo shoes. Grow up and get it together.
One suit? You need more than one suit. Black suit for funerals, charcoal gray or pin stripe for weddings, navy blue for job interviews, etc.... I have a whole closet full or suits, spot coats and slacks. Most men have no idea how to dress anymore.
How you live your life after you are married is what is important and that will define you.
The wedding arrangements and reception are not about/for you.
They really are not even about your wife.
They are about your wife's mother. If she is cool not wearing a suit, then don't wear a suit.
It should be noted on the invitations that suits are not required for men.
But what to wear? A collarless silk shirt, and a scarf with a really sharp pair of pants.
Great first post. Welcome.
This is one of my favorite French designers:
This dude does kill it in pretty much every public appearance, but I don't think most SoulStrutters could carry off his look. Dudes need to master the basics before attempting more advance Karzai-inspired styles.
But I think every man should own at least one dark suit that fits well. So if you decide to go that route.... I scouring the styleforum I found that a bunch of people bought from a guy on eBay (style-wizard) who sells decent suits for $200-300. You can even negotiate another 10% off. I got a charcoal suit, a white shirt and tie from nordsfrom rack for under $50. When i look back Im glad I dressed appropriately for the occasion and now I have something to wear to other weddings and funerals.
I was a groomsman at a wedding where I was asked to wear a barong (philipino shirt made of pineapple leaves). It was really comfortable, and with all of the groomsmen (and some guests) wearing them looked very formal and respectable.