Anxiety

RAJRAJ tenacious local 7,783 Posts
edited April 2011 in Strut Central
I've been suffering from a lot of anxiety lately. It hasn't been this bad in a lonnng time and it's basically effecting my well being.

The root of it is obviously my f'd up childhood and I have been able to suppress it for years, but now that I am making some major financial decisions that could end up messy if not executed right, I'm stressed.

I refuse to touch Xanax... probably should go see a shrink.

Any other strutters battle with anxiety?
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  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Hey Raj,

    First of all, let me say that I truly empathize with what you're facing. Please know that I am here to support you and others who face issues with anxiety. I too have dealt with anxiety, particularly as it pertained to achievement-related pursuits. Initially, I faced anxiety in relation to my doctoral program, worrying about whether I was up to the challenges involved in doing well in my classes, serving as a research/teaching assistant, and completing my thesis, dissertation, and other research projects. The second occasion that I dealt with serious anxiety was going through the tenure-track as an assistant professor, having to publish a sufficient number of research papers, earn adequate teaching ratings, and perform required departmental/university service activities. During the tenure-track process, I would stay up working until 1AM or 2AM, and then go to bed ruminating about research and other work activities I needed to complete. As a result, I suffered from serious insomnia for years. Eventually, this culminated into me spending a week in the hospital as a result of the stress. This served as a wake-up call, led to a turning point in my life, making me question the value of placing so much stake in achieving "success."

    In both cases, it help me to put the various achievement-oriented activities in a larger life perspective. What I found is that it didn't make much sense to put so much stake in such matters, to the detriment of my well-being. I realized that at the end of the day, peace of mind and well-being should matter far more than the things to which we aspire. Because, if we are not well, and stress/anxiety will cumulatively result in poor health, and potentially, mortality, what we have achieved doesn't matter much. Think of the terminally-ill rich man who would give up all of his worldly possessions to enjoy good health.

    Another thing you can do is to focus on doing the things that bring you joy, as these will make you well-rounded and help you to not put all your stake on what you're trying to achieve. Our identities should not be wrapped up solely in the pursuit of wealth, achievement, and the like. Instead, our identities should be comprised of varied activities that bring us joy, benefits others, and leave a legacy of a life well lived and a contribution to humanity. I credit this perspective to my father, who taught my brother and I that we should strive to leave a mark on the world before we die. I wish you well, Raj, and I hope my words give you comfort and perspective.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • barjesusbarjesus 872 Posts
    Stay away from Xanax, it's a killer. Stress and anxiety are normal and don't need to be medicated especially if it's caused by real world issues, not imaginary things. Plus medicated your decision making will be clouded when you need to Be at your sharpest. Try relaxation techniques, yoga, exercise, etc.

  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    Rhodiola
    Yoga
    Ginger
    Avoid anything that comes from a cow

  • JamalJamal 410 Posts
    Anxiety can be many things, anxietydisorder is another thing and panick attacks yet another thing.

    Google a bit, dont search too deep, you might start filling in things and diagnosing yourself.. so if you have a doctor you can trust , then speak with him, tell m your symptoms and tell m you dont want no quick talk and at the end pills..you just want to know what's up..with whats happening.


    Anxiety itself , normal anxiety is a part of life, but like you said, its really affecting your day to day life too much that can be a sign that there is something wrong, doesnt have to be a big thing, but you gotta know though.


    Just giving my two cents on this.


    Big Stacks is the man btw.

  • AlmondAlmond 1,427 Posts
    Exercise helps. Going for a run until you're sweaty and breathless, or just exerting yourself with weight training can be a great release. I used to get a sore upper back from too many hours studying in front of the computer, and working out def alleviated the tension, and fast, too.

    Big_Stacks, as a current grad student, I can really relate to much of what you said. I, too, wonder if I'm really cut out for this, but at this point, I can accept that if school doesn't work out the way I want it to in the end, it wasn't meant to be. I also can't sleep through the night; what's up with that?

    Raj, if you can afford a shrink, I suppose it's worth a try, and the anonymity factor eliminates the fear of being judged by a loved one. But I'd prefer talking to a good friend, instead. No matter what happens, your kids, records and the Strut will still be in your life--the important things.

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    I was really anxious when I was in my teens and early 20's, but I think it was mostly due to my drug intake and lack of self confidence. Cutting back on the drugs and eating better really helped. A lot changed around the time I met my wife too, she really helped me with my self confidence issues. I also think it is really important to give yourself at least 15 to 20 minutes a day to just relax alone, meditation is great, so is exercise, but even just listening to a record and sitting on the couch is good.

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Hey Raj (and others),

    Honestly, a big help for me was learning to say "fuck it" sometimes and not feeling guilty about it. Like today, I've had a busy work week, I have tons of shit to do, but I'm not emotionally or intellectually up for it. So guess what? I've declared "fuck it"!!! I'm not doing it today, and instead, I'm chillin', listening to music, and soothing my psyche instead. I can get to that work shit another time.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • Big_Stacks said:
    Hey Raj (and others),

    Honestly, a big help for me was learning to say "fuck it" sometimes and not feeling guilty about it. Like today, I've had a busy work week, I have tons of shit to do, but I'm not emotionally or intellectually up for it. So guess what? I've declared "fuck it"!!! I'm not doing it today, and instead, I'm chillin', listening to music, and soothing my psyche instead. I can get to that work shit another time.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

    This is key. You just have to stay motivated enough to not say "fuck it" all the time!

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    meistromoco said:
    Big_Stacks said:
    Hey Raj (and others),

    Honestly, a big help for me was learning to say "fuck it" sometimes and not feeling guilty about it. Like today, I've had a busy work week, I have tons of shit to do, but I'm not emotionally or intellectually up for it. So guess what? I've declared "fuck it"!!! I'm not doing it today, and instead, I'm chillin', listening to music, and soothing my psyche instead. I can get to that work shit another time.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

    This is key. You just have to stay motivated enough to not say "fuck it" all the time!

    Exactly!!! You should only say "fuck it" during those extreme moments when you just can't deal. Everyone should take a 'mental health day' once in a while, but it can't become a way of life.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    frisky_barrcuda said:
    William Styron

    And......ban.

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    frisky_barrcuda said:
    And...step off.

    Are you obliquely referencing Styron's Darkness Visible to somehow suggest that R*** is going through "depair beyond despair"? Or perhaps likening his anxiety to that of the character Sophie in Sophie's Choice? Or just tossing in some random bullshit again? Any way you slice it, this is his house, his very real problem, and you're an ass. Fuck off.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    im no fan of therapy but talking to someone might help. dont let them turn that shit into some lifestyle steez.

    let it out and move on.

    meditation.

  • GrandfatherGrandfather 2,303 Posts
    I was recently diagnosed with PTSD and I guess high anxiety was part of it. After some counseling and a prescription of Clonazepam I'm feeling a lot better. I was prescribed it but HARDLY ever took it. After couseling and loosing a lot of weight, i.e. exorcising a lot more I feel a lot better. I still have my original bottle of 60 pills that I got almost a year ago.

  • jaysusjaysus 787 Posts
    I went to the hospital about a month ago thinking I was having heart problems, they told me it was anxiety after xrays and tests. So i started paying closer attention to my physical self and realized that I was holding my breath/not breathing often. Lack of oxygen really can make your body go crazy.

    Going to start learning some Qigong (breathing techniques kinda like yoga) now as i am convinced my breathing is the root of the issue.

    Good luck to all those suffering out there,
    Jay

  • bigchalzbigchalz 220 Posts
    this may seem too PINA of a suggestion but if you've never meditated, you might want to give it a try. maybe a strutter in your area could recommend someone who could do a guided meditation with you. i know this sounds like a corny, new agey response, but even without knowing you personally, i think this could help. just having 5 minutes a day to yourself to quiet the mind can do wonders for you. i hope you feel better soon Raj(and anyone else who's struggling with this).

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Almond said:
    Big_Stacks, as a current grad student, I can really relate to much of what you said. I, too, wonder if I'm really cut out for this, but at this point, I can accept that if school doesn't work out the way I want it to in the end, it wasn't meant to be. I also can't sleep through the night; what's up with that?

    Hey Almond,

    I overcame the 'insomnia' issue by setting a cutoff time for working each day. I set it at 7PM (as a faculty member; I stopped at 9PM as a grad student), after which I refused to complete any work/school-related projects. At that point of the day, I'd focus on activities I enjoyed or were less 'mindful', thus allowing me to relax and wind down. Consequently, the ruminating while in bed subsided, and I was able to enjoy a good night's sleep.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • HorseleechHorseleech 3,830 Posts
    This may or may not apply to you, but for some (like my mom) anxiety is tied to blood sugar issues. Don't go long times without eating, don't over-stimulate yourself with sugar, coffee etc.

    Take time to chill, catch your breath and get perspective on things

  • Options
    A cousin of mine suffered from bouts of stress-related anxiety for years and swears that hypnotherapy has finally been his "wonder drug." He tried a few prescription drugs and hated them all due to the side effects.

  • Exercise.
    Xanax is beneficial if taken no more often than once every 3 days. Sometimes it can be a huge relief just to gain the perspective that anti-anxiety meds can give you briefly, which in turn show you a state of mind worth working towards without them that can otherwise be overlooked.

  • DeegreezDeegreez 804 Posts
    frisky_barrcuda said:
    What about aroma therapy?

    Maybe some flowers in the house, herbs in the food, or aromatic soaps in the shower could help. Also, plenty of natural sunlight.

    For sleeping I recommend a little warm milk and snuggling with a stuffed animal of some sort.

    Carry on.

    i hate you stop responding to every post in every thread when you don't have shit to say, clown

    Raj you have a lot on your plate and your days are very full, with this place, 2 kids, work and so much else. It may be time to excise some of the constant motion form your life and make time for doing less. Time without an activity of some kind really helps. Anxiety is so often brought on by having too much to do or to think about. That's all meditation is at a basic level, just clearing, creating space where there isn't any by doing very little to occupy your mind for a period of time.

    Put your life on an overstimulation diet and cut out some stuff for a bit. This is specific advice for you, not for everyone here at all, but for you specifically since you have an insane amount going on in your life.

  • Bon VivantBon Vivant The Eye of the Storm 2,018 Posts
    You're not alone, man. I've been having a real issue with it the last two months. I'm waiting to hear if I passed a major exam and have been waking up in panic attacks for the past 2 weeks.

    Exercise has been helping me. You definitely have a solid support network on the Strut, so don't hesitate to use that, mang.

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    feel free to come take a vacation in philly! you can help yourself to anything in my kitchen, play the guitars littered around the house and punch the heavy bag in the back yard. weight bench too and lots of coffee table books with pictures. softball field across the street with a crusty pick up game on wednesday nights. i'm dead serious...you can come chill whenever you want whether i'm here or not.

    im against pharmaceuticals on gp, but i know several people who are VERY thankful for their prescriptions. get advice you trust and dont feel any kind of bad if pills end up being a viable solution. i would definitely try other stuff too, though im sure you have

    regardless, i hope you hit on something bro.

    in stressful situations i tell myself two things. worst htings have happened to better people and the world will keep turning.

    peace,t

  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts
    Was diagnosed with high blood pressure recently, dangerously high in fact, stress/job/life-related but to the point where the doctor and my family were very worried. I wasn't really exercising a lot so I changed that, was drinking too much, and eating a lot of salty/heavy foods... cut down on that... started going to yoga... BP was still was pretty high though. Went to some stress therapy sessions where basically the woman sat me down and had me do breathing exercises. Deep breathing for like five, ten minute increments with a 1:2 inhale:exhale ratio (e.g. 3 second inhale, 6 second exhale). According to her this is how babies and most animals breathe but adult humans usually don't (more like 1:1 or worse). Anyway, blood pressure came down a huge amount. Night and day within a matter of minutes.

    Anyway I integrated that into my daily routine, both as a response to stressful situations and also as a once or twice a day "reset". It's been very helpful, along with the aforementioned exercise, dietary/consumption restrictions, etc

    Breathing is really underrated. I realized I wasn't breathing right at all most of the time.

  • Deegreez said:
    frisky_barrcuda said:
    What about aroma therapy?

    Maybe some flowers in the house, herbs in the food, or aromatic soaps in the shower could help. Also, plenty of natural sunlight.

    For sleeping I recommend a little warm milk and snuggling with a stuffed animal of some sort.

    Carry on.

    i hate you stop responding to every post in every thread when you don't have shit to say, clown

    .

    LMFAO

  • cosine what paychek said about those breathing exercises.

  • bull_oxbull_ox 5,056 Posts
    frisky_barrcuda said:
    What about aroma therapy?

    Maybe some flowers in the house, herbs in the food, or aromatic soaps in the shower could help. Also, plenty of natural sunlight.

    For sleeping I recommend a little warm milk and snuggling with a stuffed animal of some sort.

    Carry on.

    Carry on to GTFO

  • Jonny_Paycheck said:
    Deep breathing for like five, ten minute increments with a 1:2 inhale:exhale ratio (e.g. 3 second inhale, 6 second exhale). According to her this is how babies and most animals breathe but adult humans usually don't (more like 1:1 or worse).

    i don't have anxiety problems, but, i just tried this and it feels so good. i think i hold my breath a lot without realizing it.

  • frisky_barrcuda said:
    What about aroma therapy?

    Maybe some flowers in the house, herbs in the food, or aromatic soaps in the shower could help. Also, plenty of natural sunlight.

    For sleeping I recommend a little warm milk and snuggling with a stuffed animal of some sort.

    Carry on.

    fuck you

  • Rich45sRich45s 327 Posts
    I was seriously ill about 10 years ago, which did me some serious damage and I still have to take some proper heavy duty medication to keep me on the straight and narrow. Physically I am by and large well, but mentally, well now I am well but only because who I turned into cost me my relationship. I lived in arbitary limits I set myself due to worry I was going to get sick again and turned angry and very selfish.

    It's only since my girlfriend split with me, that I sought physological help, and it's done wonders. Being put on a shitload more medication was definitely something I didn't want to do, and was to proud to seek help for dealing with the mental aspects of having years of my life taken from me while sick, but seriously take the step towards help if you are feeling it is becoming an issue. Who I thought I was and had to be I'm just not anymore. I got so stuck in one frame of mind and thought that was me that it took talking to someone and taking medication bring me back to who I used to be. I can't quite believe how I couldn't see how I was behaving while stuck in the middle of it until now when I am back to normal. It's more than just hindsight - Depression / Anxiety changes your whole way of thinking and you deal with everything in a different way and that becomes the norm.

    I'm in the UK so am not sure of the Generic Vs Patented medication names, but mental health medication has come on leaps and bounds so the good stuff has very few side effects. My thoughts processes and what have you are so much clearer than when I was in the depths of wherever I was in my head.

    The councilling, feels like it has done all it needs to do now and I don't feel I am going to get much more benefit from it, but it seriously helped at the beginning, just being told No, this isn't how you always need to be, this is something happening to you and it affects you in all manner of ways and changes your way of thinking and you just need to do X & Y to change your way of thinking back to how you used to be.

    Mental health still has a huge stigma attached to it, and we are conditioned to suck it up and deal, but if it is affecting your day to day life, don't be too proud to seek help. You break your leg you go to a doctor to get it fixed. If you have broken parts of your mental faculties then why should it be a big deal to go get it sorted. It took my girlfriend leaving and some of her reasons about how I was to go, actually, deep down I know I am not the person I used to be, and I need to get some help. Since speaking to my actual illness specialist he has said it's a huge problem in NHS healthcare that they have to treat the physical symptoms of whatever you get, but do not have the budget to assign physcological help for the long lasting mental effects of having a serious illness cause people

    I had a very specific circumstances in that I had to process some serious health stuff and thought I had to adjust my life to it, to such an extent I stopped enjoying life and became in my head still 'sick' and issues became far bigger than they needed to be.

    As said above, exercise and breathing helps loads. 'Anchoring' also helps to, which is essentially go to your 'happy place' think of a time / place you were truly happy, think back to all the feelings of happiness and the sights, sounds, smells associated with it, and just chill in that headspace for a while until you calm down.

    Be well.

  • tabiratabira 856 Posts
    Most mental anxiety manifests itself somewhere in the body. Whether it's in your breathing patterns or somewhere else, identifying the place allows you to redisperse that energy throughout the body so that it is not focused and causing a strain . It won't treat the causes but it does allow you to better control the symptoms and eliminate the peaks. My dentist made me aware of a tendancy I had to focus my tension in the jaw muscles - grinding my teeth at night, biting my nails or clamping my mouth shut during the day. Now by relaxing my jaw muscles I can redisperse the tension throughout my body, as if to dilute it to the point at which I don't feel tense any more. Another common spot are the muscles and nerves running up the back of the neck to the top of the scalp. If you concentrate you can actually feel the tension in them and then put measures in place to redisperse it.
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