he returns home to his time having reversed the fortune of his family, only to find out that he has to leave again immediately to make two horrible sequels.
Paco Moreno, learning he is being transferred to another facility the next day, realizes he has to kill O'brien that night. O'brien knows paco will be coming for him and prepares for the attack. O'brien kicks the shit outta Paco and has a chance to kill him, but doesnt.
Blondie, the symbol of the inherent "good" in human nature, kills the "bad" Angel Eyes. "Ugly" Tuco's gun doesn't work; he gets his neck placed in a noose by Blondie, leaving him dangling with only a cemetery cross propping him up, before the noose is shot by Blondie on a horse a great distance away. Tuco embarrassingly faceplants into a hard sack of coins, making him want to curse out the departing hero.
Pam Grier shoots Booker Bradshaw in the nuts with a double-barrel
Fred Astaire suffocates himself with car exhaust and Gregory Peck and Ava Gardner die of cancer/hunger implicitly like the rest of the planet.
The guy who played Scorpio in the first Dirty Harry movie gets his by having hooks pulling at his face before he, along with the rest of the assorted demons in the haunted house, get torn and blown up.
The Klan kicks ass in town and Jesus shows up to approve of it all...what the fuck?
The predator blows up the jungle, Arnie leaves in a helicopter
Matrix kills Bennett and gets Alyssa Milano back
Nico breaks Zagons neck proving that noone is above the law
YES!
I think all the Friday the 13th ones can be summarized as:
Jason dies. Or does he?
It's his mum - she dies
It's him grown up - he dies
It's him buffed up - he dies
It's him - Feldman slaughters him
It's the ambulance attendent - he dies.
It's him - he dies
It's him - he dies
It's him, he punches a guys head off - he dies
It's his spirit floating around - everybody dies
It's him - he dies. He comes back as a CyberJason - he dies
Bonus:
Jimmy finds the secret warp point and beats Lucas to take the title.
He doesn't know it, but the passed out girl on the couch has AIDS, and sleeping with her is a bad idea.
Cross gets away with it. Evelyn, Cross's daughter whom he impregnated and had Katherine with, gets shot and killed trying to escape. Nobody believes Jake.
Comments
roth.
Balboa wins
Balboa wins
Balboa wins
Balboa wins
Balboa loses
D'oh! Epic fail!
well played sir.
quite possibly my favorite movie.
Another fav from the genre:
METALLICA TURN OUT TO BE A BUNCH OF WHINY FUCKING PUSSY BATCHES.
Hahahaha! My friend told me, "You have to see this movie, just don't expect to have any respect for Metallica afterward."
Basketball, curbstomp, bumming, the kid brother gets shot.
Hes not writing a book, hes going mental, he attacks the wife and kid and dies in the snow.
Wallace gets tortured to death and blames it on teh jews.
If i had no knowledge of the band and was told Christopher Guest had written and directed, i would have believed it.
An absolute must-see.
Ha! That's a great point. Under those circumstances, I'd definitely be running around like, "You've gotta see Spinal Tap 2--shit is ridiculous!"
Back to the spoilers:
Hot Rod gets the Matrix, uses it to blow up Unicron, becomes Roddimus Prime
King Arthur & Co. are rounded up by the police
"Oh my gosh, I was wrong/It was Earth all along"
Dude moves up from fucking pastries to fucking a willing human female.
Titular ship sinks--didn't see that one coming!
The predator blows up the jungle, Arnie leaves in a helicopter
Matrix kills Bennett and gets Alyssa Milano back
Nico breaks Zagons neck proving that noone is above the law
Spartacus doesn't.
I think all the Friday the 13th ones can be summarized as:
Jason dies. Or does he?
Pam Grier shoots Booker Bradshaw in the nuts with a double-barrel
Fred Astaire suffocates himself with car exhaust and Gregory Peck and Ava Gardner die of cancer/hunger implicitly like the rest of the planet.
The guy who played Scorpio in the first Dirty Harry movie gets his by having hooks pulling at his face before he, along with the rest of the assorted demons in the haunted house, get torn and blown up.
The Klan kicks ass in town and Jesus shows up to approve of it all...what the fuck?
YES!
It's his mum - she dies
It's him grown up - he dies
It's him buffed up - he dies
It's him - Feldman slaughters him
It's the ambulance attendent - he dies.
It's him - he dies
It's him - he dies
It's him, he punches a guys head off - he dies
It's his spirit floating around - everybody dies
It's him - he dies. He comes back as a CyberJason - he dies
Bonus:
Jimmy finds the secret warp point and beats Lucas to take the title.
Too soon
More in the Stallone vein:
The Taliban saves the day
The path to his son's heart was winning an arm-wrestling tournament
Someone had to be the pedant. Sorry.
More in the Stallone vein:
They don't stop and his mom does shoot.
Sleepaway Camp?
The wise one says "zoom back cameeera" and it is revealed that the whole thing was just a movie.
The author that wrote the novels that inspired the killer to kill, kills the killer, the author then takes over the killing.
The racer reveals that he is part of the underground resistance and kills the president with his car after winning the race.
He doesn't know it, but the passed out girl on the couch has AIDS, and sleeping with her is a bad idea.
Cross gets away with it. Evelyn, Cross's daughter whom he impregnated and had Katherine with, gets shot and killed trying to escape. Nobody believes Jake.