Michael Bay to remake Rosemary's Baby

edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
edited April 2010 in Strut Central
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/dailydish/detail?entry_id=60406I wonder if he's going to blow up Rosemary after she gives birth
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  • this is a joke, right?

  • GaryGary 3,982 Posts
    Michael Bay needs a serious ass-whuppin.

  • BeatnicholasBeatnicholas 1,005 Posts
    bit late for an april fool isn't it?

    the ursula dudziak version was the best


  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Excited about slow mo gleaming shots of Rosemary shopping, making a phone call etc all soundtracked to some pumping rock

  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    I heard they are going to get Fergie and the rest of the 'Peas to remix the shit out of that little ditty Rosemary sings in the beginning!

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    maybe this will fall through through the cracks. i remember maybe 4 or 5 years ago when news hit that michael bay was set to remake The Birds and i still haven't seen any on that since

    edit: oops, just saw this http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0884788/


  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    Eventually Bay will remake a film so sacred to some on-the-edge cinephile that they will just kill Michael Bay and then themselves and it won't be a surprise.

  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    Eventually Bay will remake a film so sacred to some on-the-edge cinephile that they will just kill Michael Bay and then themselves and it won't be a surprise.

    Please. If that were the case, George Lucas would be dead by now.

  • hertzhoghertzhog 865 Posts
    Hahah-- I bet he'll show the baby too.

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    Eventually Bay will remake a film so sacred to some on-the-edge cinephile that they will just kill Michael Bay and then themselves and it won't be a surprise.

    Please. If that were the case, George Lucas would be dead by now.

    what has Lucas remade that cinedorks hold dear?

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    completely unrelated, i find it hilarious that there is a Wall Street 2 and from the trailer, it seems like a romantic movie??

  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    Eventually Bay will remake a film so sacred to some on-the-edge cinephile that they will just kill Michael Bay and then themselves and it won't be a surprise.

    Please. If that were the case, George Lucas would be dead by now.

    what has Lucas remade that cinedorks hold dear?

    Are you serious?

    Do you know any Star Wars fan who thinks Lucas has done anything *good* to the franchise since the original trilogy?

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    Eventually Bay will remake a film so sacred to some on-the-edge cinephile that they will just kill Michael Bay and then themselves and it won't be a surprise.

    Please. If that were the case, George Lucas would be dead by now.

    what has Lucas remade that cinedorks hold dear?

    Are you serious?

    Do you know any Star Wars fan who thinks Lucas has done anything *good* to the franchise since the original trilogy?

    Yeah i'm serious O, but his subsequent Star Wars flicks weren't actual remakes of movies he didn't create.

    I see this as an apples and oranges case. The original Rosemary's Baby is a subtle, often meandering paced movie. Putting a director on it that is famous for blowing up shit and has a heavy hand when it comes to both CGI effects and bro-rock soundtracks is kind of bizarre, don't you think?

    Whereas with Lucas continuing to make Star Wars flicks isn't that much of a stretch. Star Wars is popcorn movie. The subsequent Star Wars titles were popcorn movies. The only difference between the first one and the recent ones is quality & execution, but it's essentially the same kind of movie.

  • GaryGary 3,982 Posts
    I have too many good movie ideas for already good movies to be re-shitted out.

    Sample titles:

    "H.I.C.K.S. (Hillbilly Inbred Commando Killer Squad)"
    "Vatos In Space"
    "RACE WAR!!!"
    "Crips and Bloods VS. KKK"

  • Post deleted by fishmongerfunk

  • GaryGary 3,982 Posts
    werner harzog should remake a michael bay film.

  • bluesnagbluesnag 1,285 Posts

    I think too many of y'all missed that the date on the article was April 1.

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts

    I think too many of y'all missed that the date on the article was April 1.

    it is on that article, but news of this first came out in 2008 when he was in negotiations in obtaining the rights:
    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN1264472120080313

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts

    "Vatos In Space"

    Yes please.

  • bluesnagbluesnag 1,285 Posts

    I think too many of y'all missed that the date on the article was April 1.

    it is on that article, but news of this first came out in 2008 when he was in negotiations in obtaining the rights:
    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN1264472120080313

    oh damn. that is lame.

  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    Eventually Bay will remake a film so sacred to some on-the-edge cinephile that they will just kill Michael Bay and then themselves and it won't be a surprise.

    Please. If that were the case, George Lucas would be dead by now.

    what has Lucas remade that cinedorks hold dear?

    Are you serious?

    Do you know any Star Wars fan who thinks Lucas has done anything *good* to the franchise since the original trilogy?

    Yeah i'm serious O, but his subsequent Star Wars flicks weren't actual remakes of movies he didn't create.

    I see this as an apples and oranges case. The original Rosemary's Baby is a subtle, often meandering paced movie. Putting a director on it that is famous for blowing up shit and has a heavy hand when it comes to both CGI effects and bro-rock soundtracks is kind of bizarre, don't you think?

    Whereas with Lucas continuing to make Star Wars flicks isn't that much of a stretch. Star Wars is popcorn movie. The subsequent Star Wars titles were popcorn movies. The only difference between the first one and the recent ones is quality & execution, but it's essentially the same kind of movie.

    We're splitting hairs.

    I was responding to the idea that Bey would piss off some fanboy who'd kill him. And I was joking that if such a thing were vaguely likely - fanboys going apeshit on a director for f*cking up their favorite movie - than Lucas would be dead already. Doesn't matter if we're talking about a remake or not, Lucas destroyed arguably THE most influential (from a pop culture p.o.v.) cinematic franchise in history yet dude is still breathing.

    MB need not lose sleep.

    I should add: technically, Lucas remade all three of the OG trilogy with "new digital effects". Most of which added nada and fanboys thought made the films worse.

  • MjukisMjukis 1,675 Posts
    I should add: technically, Lucas remade all three of the OG trilogy with "new digital effects". Most of which added nada and fanboys thought made the films worse.

    HAN SHOT FIRST!

    But back to the topic at hand: What I think is so weird about a lot of stuff they choose to remake is that they're so obviously from another era of film. I can understand (well, sort of) if they want to remake a horror movie because you can accomplish more with special effects now. But why remake a movie that's good precisely because it's slow, understated and is completely based on mood? It's of that time, and you can't top it. It doesn't really make sense from a commercial standpoint either. It's not like the kids'll be like ZOMG NEW ROSEMARYS BABY!!!

  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    I should add: technically, Lucas remade all three of the OG trilogy with "new digital effects". Most of which added nada and fanboys thought made the films worse.

    HAN SHOT FIRST!

    But back to the topic at hand: What I think is so weird about a lot of stuff they choose to remake is that they're so obviously from another era of film. I can understand (well, sort of) if they want to remake a horror movie because you can accomplish more with special effects now. But why remake a movie that's good precisely because it's slow, understated and is completely based on mood? It's of that time, and you can't top it. It doesn't really make sense from a commercial standpoint either. It's not like the kids'll be like ZOMG NEW ROSEMARYS BABY!!!

    Yet CLash of the Titans was #1 last weekend.

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts

    But back to the topic at hand: What I think is so weird about a lot of stuff they choose to remake is that they're so obviously from another era of film. I can understand (well, sort of) if they want to remake a horror movie because you can accomplish more with special effects now. But why remake a movie that's good precisely because it's slow, understated and is completely based on mood? It's of that time, and you can't top it. It doesn't really make sense from a commercial standpoint either. It's not like the kids'll be like ZOMG NEW ROSEMARYS BABY!!!

    This is exactly the point I was trying to make. I can understand why modern directors would want to remake horror flicks like Dawn of the Dead because there is a level of constant energy/thrill there that could translate easily to the modern age AND actually be made better with the resources and technology available now.

    But I don't understand why or how Bay would remake Rosemary's Baby without changing the atmosphere and plot of it completely. It's not his kind of movie- It's so slow and chilling that I can see a modern audience be completely bored by it and find it uneventful. It would bomb if he were to stay true to it. So what I picture is that he would sex it up bigtime with cgi effects and other signature heavy-handedness which would make it an entirely different movie. I would bet money that he would actually show the devil spawn.

    Rosemary's Baby is the kind of flick where the ultimate horror is what you can't see and is born through the viewer's imagination and paranoia. Bay's movies aren't about the horror behind the unseen hand. He is all about extreme close ups of the hand beating the viewer over the head with some outrageousness.

    That said, as much as I hate the idea of it, Bay remaking the Birds makes more sense to me.

  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    I watched about 15 minutes of Disturbia, a Rear Window remake starring Shia LaBeouf, and it was even worse than I imagined. It's cliche, but it does seem like folks in Hollywood are truly running out of ideas and think nothing of tarnishing a classic just to repackage a storyline with garbage acting, MTV-style editing and a little baring of the midriff.

    And, yeah, no one is going to go after Disturbio director D.J. Caruso (had to look this up) and injure or kill him because they are already so cynical and indifferent that it just doesn't matter.

  • Garcia_VegaGarcia_Vega 2,428 Posts
    Bay remaking the Birds makes more sense to me.

    Cue slow motion shot of Megan Fox exiting a Beverly Hills mansion riding on a jet black Kawasaki Ninja in booty shorts and a black corset.
    Follow her crystal clear blue eye *sparkle effect* down, and zoom in on the speedometer reading 300 million miles per hour.
    Pan back to shot of mansion blowing up, resume normal shooting speed, as Fox wheelies down the driveway.
    Cut to overhead shot of Kawasaki Ninja with a quickly overtaking shadow of a bird, wingspan 100 meters.
    Cut to Fox's blue eye *sparkle effect* widening in alarm.
    Cut back to show swarm of 1,014 mutant fanged ravens chasing her down the PCH...

    Sorry, bored at work

  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    ^^^^^^^^^ :


    I was thinking that the only was Michael Bay could successfully remake this is that if he was revealed as Satan in the sex/dream sequence or possible in the end as the baby. That is the only way.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,899 Posts


    Do you know any Star Wars fan who thinks Lucas has done anything *good* to the franchise since the original trilogy?

    Oddly enough, I'm going to see this in May.


  • UnherdUnherd 1,880 Posts
    this is a joke, right?


    Published on: April 01 2010 at 02:04 PM[/b]
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