TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Duder, is it true they closed Patpong Market down? That was my go-to spot for snide Brightlings (sic), pure street theatre and the proper 6.6% OG Singha beer. We spent one memorable evening sat outside a bar opposite a place called "Kings Court" where a band of ex-pats played covers behind a local girl singer.

    Her delivery of the English lyrics barely made it over the net of comprehension, but every now and then she would nail a really hard word (like "Bourgeoisie" in Madonna's "Music"). All this b/w half a dozen hostesses flirting outrageously to anything that cast a shadow and the pesterings of three-legged cats....











    ... Did the street food taste of cat's leg?






  • ppadilhappadilha 2,243 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    getting massages

    :oh_my:

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Duder, is it true they closed Patpong Market down?

    Didn't go to Patpong (sniff, sob) as I've already had the ping-pong experience.


    ... Did the street food taste of cat's leg?

    I had one (street food) meal where I ordered a beef Massaman curry, and they served me with far, far too much beef for it have been beef.


    Sorry to quote myself, but

    Duderonomy said:
    Back to the grim mundanity of Barcelona :-P

    Just had a class with a senior oncologist. I know she's a lesbian as she's been telling me all about her recent split with her partner, but ever since my first class with her, I was sure that she's been flirting with me, but upon learning of her orientation put it down to Catalan friendliness and the fact that older women seem to fucking love me, either in a sexual way, or I stir some kind of mothering instinct in them (any older woman serving food gives my skinny arse double-portions, where ever and when ever - it's strange but I've become so accustomed to it I now expect it all the time and get a bit sniffy on the odd occasion that it doesn't happen). Today she decided to tell me that even though she's a rugg-muncher, if she was younger she would. Then she proceeded to tell me that in the aftermath of her 22 year relationship, she's curious about all of the things she's never tried...


    And I found myself thinking, [em]well, I've never tried lesbian[/em].

    #Mmmmmmmm

    Is this a common occurrence in the world of lesbos?

  • jleejlee 1,539 Posts

    And I found myself thinking, [em]well, I've never tried lesbian[/em].

    #Mmmmmmmm

    Is this a common occurrence in the world of lesbos?

    1st - Ha!
    2nd - No

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    J i m s t e r said:
    Duder, is it true they closed Patpong Market down?

    Didn't go to Patpong (sniff, sob) as I've already had the ping-pong experience.


    ... Did the street food taste of cat's leg?

    I had one (street food) meal where I ordered a beef Massaman curry, and they served me with far, far too much beef for it have been beef.


    Sorry to quote myself, but

    Duderonomy said:
    Back to the grim mundanity of Barcelona :-P

    Just had a class with a senior oncologist. I know she's a lesbian as she's been telling me all about her recent split with her partner, but ever since my first class with her, I was sure that she's been flirting with me, but upon learning of her orientation put it down to Catalan friendliness and the fact that older women seem to fucking love me, either in a sexual way, or I stir some kind of mothering instinct in them (any older woman serving food gives my skinny arse double-portions, where ever and when ever - it's strange but I've become so accustomed to it I now expect it all the time and get a bit sniffy on the odd occasion that it doesn't happen). Today she decided to tell me that even though she's a rugg-muncher, if she was younger she would. Then she proceeded to tell me that in the aftermath of her 22 year relationship, she's curious about all of the things she's never tried...


    And I found myself thinking, [em]well, I've never tried lesbian[/em].

    #Mmmmmmmm

    Is this a common occurrence in the world of lesbos?

    Hey Duder,

    I don't find your experience with your lesbian colleague to be uncommon. I remember a number of 'supposed' lesbian women throwing me rhythm in my younger days. I used to go to this bar back in the day that had a confluence of lesbian girlfriends, and one in particular was always pressing in closely (physically) to me. There was a girl back in junior who was presumed to be a lesbian, yet she followed me home nearly every day (she was fine too, damn!). I was too painfully shy back then to even attempt to holla at her. Even some lesbians in academe seem to get really 'familiar', which makes me wonder how strong some lesbians' same-sex preferences are. I think it's like most preferences, personal traits, etc., they lie on a continuum. So, some lesbians may have some extent of heterosexual tendencies, which may apply to other sexual orientations as well. Of course, I'm merely speculating, but the continuum notion seems to explain what you and I have experienced with women who proclaim lesbian sexual identities.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,243 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Is this a common occurrence in the world of lesbos?

    I have a, uh, cousin who was asked by a lesbian friend to be her bachelor party gift so she could have one last roll in the hay with a man before getting hitched to her girlfriend. So maybe it's not that uncommon? I would imagine most lesbos are pretty sure in their ways and don't ever feel the need to try the other side.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Big_Stacks said:
    they lie on a continuum

    Knowledge dropped.
    Duder, did this dirty negotiation go down in Spanish or English?
    Cos if it was English, she's getting free tuition.
    And if Spanish, post the translation of rug munch or your (sic) soft.

    I'll hazard a guess that señora views you as an unholy crossbreed of Hugh Grant, James Bond and Withnail.
    And I'll admit, that's damned attractive AYO

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    jlee said:
    2nd - No

    Without going into detail, as that would be ungentlemanly, I discovered, on more than one occasion a rich seam of hetrosexuality in ladies who told me that they otherwise preferred to "Dine at the Y". I think lesbians can flip their script much more easily than other sexual orientations.

    I guess your mileage depends on your steez, but it's certainly possible without feeling weird.

    I once worked with an Australian character who lived in a house full of lesbians for a while because they felt safe having him around (he was a burly ex-biker/ex-roadie punk/hardcore type) and he said he got noshed off by all of them just for shits and giggles.


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Big_Stacks said:
    Of course, I'm merely speculating, but the continuum notion seems to explain what you and I have experienced with women who proclaim lesbian sexual identities.

    Is it because you have "PROFESSOR BIG STACKS" written on your door?

    Girl dem gots to know...

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    skel said:
    Big_Stacks said:
    they lie on a continuum

    Knowledge dropped.
    Duder, did this dirty negotiation go down in Spanish or English?
    Cos if it was English, she's getting free tuition.
    And if Spanish, post the translation of rug munch or your (sic) soft.

    I gave an abbreviated version of events. This was one of my conversational classes, all in English. She gave me a load of compliments before saying that she'd definitely want to get involved with me if she was younger despite being a lesbian and that she's never found a man attractive before. Was all a bit overwhelming, but I think I played it cool, thanked her and tried not to blush.

    I want to say that I suspect that she's attracted to the idea of me rather than the reality, and that a combination of my role as teacher and the events in my life that she's aware of (even though I slag-off facebook as an online vanity project for people to present the image & lifestyle that they wish they had to other people, we actually do this all the time to some extent verbally in face-to-face interactions as well I guess) have presented her with a skewed vision of me as an interesting and somehow unique male specimen, when I'm just run-of-the-mill but in her field of vision.

    But she was flirting from the first day we met, which was strange.

    I'll hazard a guess that señora views you as an unholy crossbreed of Hugh Grant, James Bond and Withnail.

    She was definitely taken with how I met Portuguese girl - apparently she's discussed this with friends and they all agree that people don't meet like this in real life. Not sure anyone would fit me in with the above gang though!

    I think that I should repay her the compliment and let her know that if I wasn't "courting" I'd consider it. I really get on well with her.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    It seems there'll be a caricature of a bigoted, race-baiting, crypto-fascist, xenophobic Little Englander standing for election in South Thanet this May. Al Murray's going to be on the ballot as well.

    I'm here all week.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts

    And I found myself thinking, [em]well, I've never tried lesbian[/em].

    #Mmmmmmmm

    Is this a common occurrence in the world of lesbos?

    1st - Ha!
    2nd - No

    With regard to the second point, it could happen. About twenty years back - and I swear to God this is a true story - I used to work with a lesbian who decided that the works Xmas party would be the ideal time to make a move on me after (I later learned) sitting opposite me and secretly lusting after me for months. Imagine my surprise, etc. We were the talk of the office for quite a while afterwards, and we even ended up dating for about a year until she finally realised that, despite the occasional craving for the boaby, she preferred her bread buttered on the other side after all. It was then that we moved in together...

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    DOR said:

    Only just read this, but there's some fucking beauties.

    The 1980s Birmingham band Duran Duran have been forced to change their name to Quran Quran, joked @msalimkassam

    LOL

  • jleejlee 1,539 Posts
    I am obviously hanging out with the wrong lesbians!!!

    -I kid of course....kinda

    I will admit that the lesbians I usually come into contact with do always seem to be much more "open to sexual experimentation", but very few seem to have a strong interest to philander with men. Even some very committed lesbians I am friends with do seem surprisingly open to have relations with other women (to the point of almost broadcasting this).

    That said, I don't have very many casual lesbian friends (e.g. random coworker). Those I do know are pretty comfortable in their skin and tend to be very secure on focusing solely on those with the XX chromosome.

    Do you Duder -- Isle of Lesbos is only a few hours away for Barcelona right?

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    jlee said:

    Isle of Lesbos is only a few hours away for Barcelona right?

    Right now I think it's probably just a phone call away!

    If I had to make a guess, I'd say that the short-haired lesbians that dress like moody teenage boys are the ones least likely to have any interest in men. But fuck it, I don't know what the hell goes through the minds of straight women, let alone lesbians.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Sure, the bulldog type seem to harbour a burning distrust of men. Which is no problem as I'd struggle to get wood for that anyway.

  • Duderonomy said:


    I don't know what the hell goes through the minds of straight women, let alone lesbians.


    BINGO.

  • jleejlee 1,539 Posts
    While recognizing that FIFA treats refs similar to the Pope (infallibility), I would still love to see the FA incorporate similar retroactive punishment/fines for those who go overboard in their diving.

    http://deadspin.com/p-j-hairston-flies-and-flops-into-coach-pop-1679608333/1679747602/+barryap

    NBA is probably the closest [em]'Murican[/em] sport that flops/dives as much as footballers do, and at least the actually do have rules on the books (called "anti-flopping") to fine players and discourage future acrobatics.

    that said, I don't think diving has been as bad this year in the PL (bar some Chelsea players)

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Strut Proof-reading 101:


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts

    Was looking right at it - maybe their editors come here for the raer talk.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    MAGPAUL REVEALED

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    JIMSTER!


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    AARRGGH!! MY EYES!!!

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    C'mon, you've got to hand it to Santi. Citeh couldn't get the ball off him most of the game.


    And it turns out that the Arse needed Coq. Who'd've thunk it?

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Saw it on MOTD, no complaints.

    Chelski will feal teh backlash.

  • Duderonomy said:
    C'mon, you've got to hand it to Santi. Citeh couldn't get the ball off him most of the game.


    And it turns out that the Arse needed Coq. Who'd've thunk it?

    this was a game-defining sequence..... dude was.... messi-like today. sadly, only today thus far.

    great game though, well fought.... score didn't really tell the story. szczesny is clearly going through some shit.... smoking in the clubhouse?

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts

    Ospina already looks more calm that Schzerney. Plus, the fans have that goal-kick chant.




    b/w



  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Just saw Tony Blair on the news.
    Jrebus, dude looks rough. And walking like a fucking 90-yo.

    Karma is a bitch.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Man has pure skellingtons in the closet.

    Used to be a cross dresser called "Miranda".

    Allegedly arrested back in 1983 for the George-Michael-khazi-type-ness.

    Ideal bloke to be a puppet for the multinationals.


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,947 Posts
    Shame, 'cos I liked the bloke when he started.

    I was under the illusion of choice then.

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