TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    I think there are only 4 acceptable pigeon-holes that a Brit must conform to in order to "Braek" the USA:

    1. Chirpy Cocker-nee sparrow, just like Dick Van Dyke mastered so well in Mary Poppins.
    2. Screen villain (James Mason had this on lock).
    3. Posh, or even better, Royalty (Hugh Grant).
    4. Musician doing Briddish musics.

    Piers would be best marketing himself as a Type 2 Brit. Top hat and handlebar moustache will add gravitas (Has to look like he's just tied a heroine to a train-track).

    Beckham doesn't fit hence no 3 for the Soccerball. The Beatles pretty much set the bar too high for Type 4's.

    I'd give him 2 weeks before they realise he's not Anne "The Weakest Link" Robinson.

  • PATXPATX 2,820 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    I think there are only 4 acceptable pigeon-holes that a Brit must conform to in order to "Braek" the USA:

    1. Chirpy Cocker-nee sparrow, just like Dick Van Dyke mastered so well in Mary Poppins.
    2. Screen villain (James Mason had this on lock).
    3. Posh, or even better, Royalty (Hugh Grant).
    4. Musician doing Briddish musics.

    You know this amounts to some progress over the years. There was a time when only a couple of these pigeon holes existed. Remember those who sacrificed so much for so many - like Lee Evans and the dude from Full Monty.

    Forgot what a hit Ms Robinson was over here. But personally I think Piers "Soccccer" Morgan should go the Laurie route and fake an American accent, making it really hard for him to express anything other than an angry drawl.


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Paul said:

    Who dat?


  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    I'll give you a clue, he plays for Arsenal.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    "coincided with his drop in form"
    "coincided with his drop in form"
    "coincided with his drop in form"

    So Wenger was saying that as it's his first season, fatigue was bound to set in. Now it's looking like he's got Rooney-itus, sorry, Terry-itus, sorry, I meant Gerrard-itus, sorry, I meant...

    they never learn, do they? FFS.


    "Go on, give us your best Blue Steel"


  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    The whispers I'm hearing would suggest it's Marouane...


  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    DocMcCoy said:
    The whispers I'm hearing would suggest it's Marouane...


    Panic over - it's deffo Chamakh. As you were.

  • RockadelicRockadelic Out Digging 13,993 Posts
    The American press is abuzz this morning about Ricky Gervais being mean spirited while hosting the Golden Globe Awards last night.

    I think they are all in shock that a nice, polite Brit could ever insult America or Americans.

    Biter.

  • The only mention of the Golden Globes over here is of Colin Firth winning something.

    Ricky Gervais being obnoxious is not really news.

    That said, I think he does a good job of exposing these type of awards for the vacuous blackslapping events they usually are.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Never really liked anything that Gervais has done without input from Stephen Merchant. Gervais is purile, arrogant, immature - everything that made his character funny in The Office, but isn't quite so funny in real life. Unsurprising to a Brit audience that he was offensive I guess.

  • ZomBZomB 397 Posts
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1347874/Golden-Globes-2011-Ricky-Gervais-makes-gay-jibe-famous-Scientologist-actors.html

    Im a gervais fan so i knew he was doing this. Just read some of the jokes on there & i think most of them are pretty funny. Just seems like the hollywood a-listers are taking the jokes seriously though & getting butt hurt!

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    Here's his opening monologue.




    Had they never seen his act? Cause there's nothing surprising in that clip. Or did they think that it was funny for him to make jokes about gays and disabled people but he'd be nice about them.
    Even from the beginnings of the Office he made it clear that he was going to do things his way, or he'd walk. It's one thing I really admire about Gervais, that he doesn't really give a fuck, he's just doing him. I think maybe it comes from achieving success later in life.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    In honesty it all smells like good PR. It seems to be standard affair to hire comedians to present these award shows and and then fain outrage when they do what you paid them to do. Didn't the US get all uppity about Russell Brand doing exactly the same thing, or was it Sacha Baron Cohen..?

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Okem said:
    Didn't the US get all uppity about Russell Brand doing exactly the same thing, or was it Sacha Baron Cohen..?

    Yeah, Russell Brand laying into Dubya at the MTV Awards a few years ago - that went down like a fart in a spacesuit.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    YO GERVAIS D'YA HEAR SON?
    YOU'LL NEVER, REPEAT NEVER GET THAT ALL-IMPORTANT THIRD GOLDEN GLOBES PRESENTING JOB NOW, D'YA HEAR?

    SO GO KILL YOSELF, COS YOUR LIFE'S WORK COUNTS FOR NUTTN NOW.


    lollers.

    Meriman gets buttchafed so easily. Who knew?

  • PATXPATX 2,820 Posts
    I think it's mainly an LA-is-for-Pussies thing. "You're so talented - R"

    New Jersey, on the other hand, don't give a fuck

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Usually can't stand Gervais, but props for this event.

    Back-slapping, glad-handing diva princess grown-up dressing-up fantasising bullshit mommie dearest insecure muhfahhhhkas

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Them A-Listers.... They don't like it up 'em, do they?

    Failure to grasp the truth of the inane vacuum they inhabit, as the walls of dey bubble are obscured by "Yes" men.

    LOLs.

    Best thing Gervais has done since Extras.

  • seriously though, why the big deal? he did the EXACT SAME THING last year.

  • RockadelicRockadelic Out Digging 13,993 Posts
    neil_something said:
    seriously though, why the big deal? he did the EXACT SAME THING last year.

    Asshurt politically overcorrect weinies run Hollyweird.

    Even DeNiro made a few wise cracks last night and you could just see the tension in the room.

    Hollywood exists in some sort of paralell bizarro universe and that's why it's so damn annoying to see any of them get attention whatsoever on the political front.

    Barbara Steisand going to bat against Global Warming might be more absurd than Keith Richards making an anti-drug PSA.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,903 Posts

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Hah, having watched the clips, he was a lot better than the headlines made out, and the audience seemed to appreciate most/some of the jokes. Not sure what the big deal is.






    Now selling Darren Bent to Aston Villa for ??18 million, rising to ??24 million??? That's ridonkulous.
    :icallbullshit:

    and this made me laugh:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/jan/18/qatar-2022-world-cup-fifa

    Money can't buy everything. This isn't an original proposition although proof of it sometimes comes in the most unexpected ways. Take the newly-minted revelation, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal, that Qatar set aside ??26.5m for PR and marketing last year as it sought to persuade Fifa that the 2022 World Cup should be staged in a desert nation the size of Glasgow.

    With oil heading towards $100-a-barrel and 15 billion barrels still underground waiting to be welled, that sum of money probably sounds like armchair shrapnel to a member of the Qatari ruling elite. But it's not. It is, for instance, four times the amount spent by United States on its competing bid. Australia spent a reported ??25m chasing the 2022 dream ??? again, on its entire bid. Meanwhile, back in the cheap seats, England's two-year long, headless-chicken themed effort clocked in at ??15m.

    The corollary is obvious, or at least it is to the cynics and the losers who have spent the weeks since the 2022 decision complaining the competition was not judged entirely on merit. Naivety is always welcome in the corridors of power but, really ??? it was a Fifa bidding process. What else did they expect?

    Likewise, confirmation of Qatar's outlandish spending has also been seized upon as proof that the World Cup was "bought" when in fact all it proves is Qatar got terrible value for its ??26.5m.

    Marketing and PR campaigns are supposed to persuade and convince a broad audience. They are supposed to build momentum, to turn "why?" into "why not?". On the eve of Fifa's decision there were murmurings Qatar might be coming up on the rails. It is the measure how little impact its money had made that even then no one outside the black-hearted bubble of Fifa politics took the idea of a desert World Cup seriously.

    It is this dissonance between broader expectation and the eventual outcome of the Zurich vote that has fuelled the worldwide cynicism now engulfing Fifa's showcase event, and has Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini scuttling around trying to restore its credibility. How about a January World Cup? How about a "Gulf-wide" World Cup?

    Qatar will have none of it, dismissing both ideas in recent days, and why should they? Under the terms and conditions of Fifa's bidding rules (such that they are) they won. Case closed.

    As for the money they spent trying, and failing, to persuade a broader audience (as opposed to a narrow Fifa electorate), at least it is being put to use now as an army of marketing and PR men attempts to explain away revelations contained in Qatar's own bid documents.

    Is it really true that when the Emirate invested heavily in academies sited in the home nations of Fifa executive committee members via its Football Dream initiative ??? six of the 15 countries singled out for help by Qatar (40%) were countries of Fifa execs, when executive committee members account for fewer than 12% of Fifa's 208 member associations?

    "Inevitably some are in countries which are the home of committee members and many are not," a Qatar spokesman told the WSJ. "At no time were they established to secure votes."

    And what of the minutes showing how Qatari officials discussed circumventing a Fifa directive telling bid countries they should not stage lobbying events during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa? "An expression of strategic thought," said a spokesman. "It did not happen."

    As for an offer to finance the relocation of the Asian Football Confederation to Qatar, lock, stock and, in the words of the documents, "a large-sized BMW" for the AFC president: "We understand the AFC discussed the possibility of a move of its headquarters to Doha but this was rejected."

    It is also suggested the Qatari-owned television network Al Jazeera could bail out the financially-stricken Argentinian Football Association by buying television rights. "It is true that our client carried out detailed due diligence on the Asociaci??n del F??tbol Argentino, however, our client did not adopt or proceed with any steps to intervene in or assist with the financial position of it," lawyers for the Qatar bid told the Telegraph.

    And so on, and on, and on until we return inevitably to the formulation that seems destined to echo down the years. "The Qatar bid played within the rules laid down by Fifa at all times," a spokesman for the bid said.

    Maybe so but until someone explains how the 2022 World Cup ended up in the desert when the case against it was, and continues to be, so lacking in credibility and public support, then all the oil money in Qatar won't make the cynicism and the suspicion disappear.

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    Darren Bent is a great signing for the Villa. It's easy to compare it to every great bargain signing ever but why not judge it by the 17.5 million spent on Glen Johnson instead.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Fair enough... both represent poor value for money, both of them seem to be in that bracket because of England duty, but if I were a nipper looking to buy a replica shirt, I'd rather be Johnson than Bent.

  • djwaxondjwaxon 411 Posts
    Apparently the West Ham board are committed to retaining Avram Grant after all this Martin O Neill stuff. The situation absolutely stinks to me.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/w/west_ham_utd/9364949.stm

  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    Poor value for money? Time will tell, but last time I checked 'THE TRUTH' has been banging them in for a while now.

  • djwaxondjwaxon 411 Posts
    Paul said:
    Darren Bent is a great signing for the Villa. It's easy to compare it to every great bargain signing ever but why not judge it by the 17.5 million spent on Glen Johnson instead.

    Johnson was an poor buy though, definitely not value for money. I do believe he could make a good right mid however.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Paul said:
    Poor value for money? Time will tell, but last time I checked 'THE TRUTH' has been banging them in for a while now.

    ^^This.

    He may not hit Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink levels of consistency, but Darren Bent has proved himself capable of scoring no matter where he is. It was only at Spurs that the goals didn't come regularly.

    As for Glen Johnson, I have two things to say about him. First, someone ought to examine what converting from a full-back to a wide midfielder has done for Gareth Bale's game, and apply that to Johnson. Secondly, most of his alleged ??17.5m price-tag was money Pompey owed us for Peter Crouch. I refer you also to another of Rafa's "rubbish" signings, Alberto Aquilani, now enjoying a banner season after being farmed out on loan to Juve, presumably never to return (thanks, Woy!), and where a big chunk of the ??17m was money Roma were yet to pay us for John-Arne Riise.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Bent to Villa... I didn't think Villa were that bad up front, I would have thought the back 4 needed the boost first. Bent can play but seems to be a confidence player. I'd say he's worth ??15M so good biz for Sunderland.

    Johnson should switch, it's a no-brainer. He can do that job.

    Santa Cruz > MCFC is worst buy in recent history. Won't get a kick, even when fit (whenever that will be). God knows what kind of pics of Mark Hughes he must have in the safe.

    I could mention Veron but in all honesty he did have a few great games for Un*ted. I think Keano wanted him out.
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